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i don't like agile much but every part of it is designed around making sure it is recognized that things are hosed early, which is indeed the most important part of a software development process.
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Nov 22, 2019 17:00
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Agile is when somebody asked you "hey, can you estimate the next 6 months worth of tasks?" and then some fucken project manager spends a week writing it all up in JIRA And then you come back to the sprint board board every two weeks and you're like "what the gently caress does that even mean" for half of the tasks and the ones you do recognize increasingly don't reflect reality as the project goes on Also you estimated your story points wrong because you're a piece of poo poo so now management really wants to discuss your velocity Eventually you realize nobody's actually checking on whether you got your work done, so you just say "sure let's close that task out" and your development landscape is a hell of half-working "features" lather rinse repeat Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Nov 22, 2019 |
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Nov 22, 2019 18:11
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one of the worst things a lot of places do is not have a dedicated scrum master, they just add that responsibility onto the team lead or a business analyst and expect them to do it on top of their actual job
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Nov 22, 2019 18:23
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misread as "cum master"
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Nov 22, 2019 18:46
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Skyl3lazer posted:Y'all have worked in some bad shops lol i loving hate this term tho. Shops sell useful wares.
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Nov 22, 2019 19:00
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jimmyjams posted:misread as "cum master" daddy's scrummies
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Nov 22, 2019 19:06
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agile is a manifestation of god, and only his scrum certified oracles know what he would have us do
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Nov 22, 2019 19:14
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aw yea scrum all over my face
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Nov 22, 2019 19:29
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Jonny 290 posted:i loving hate this term tho. 
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Nov 22, 2019 19:51
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qirex posted:one of the worst things a lot of places do is not have a dedicated scrum master, they just add that responsibility onto the team lead or a business analyst and expect them to do it on top of their actual job or sometimes they make an unlucky programmer do it
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Nov 22, 2019 21:37
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Main Paineframe posted:or sometimes they make an unlucky programmer do it or worse, their managers.
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Nov 22, 2019 22:17
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*points to the word on the screen* “ajeeeelay”
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Nov 23, 2019 12:38
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Main Paineframe posted:or sometimes they make an unlucky programmer do it scrum lead rotates among all team members
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Nov 23, 2019 19:23
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In my government office there was a manager who got incredibly excited about "doing a standup" so she had a meeting to find a time when everyone could standup and then a month later we stood up while she made some announcements and then dismissed us.
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Nov 24, 2019 07:08
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lol
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Nov 24, 2019 09:47
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ok gang now lets address some of the blockers we encountered last week and what that meant for your workflow
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Nov 24, 2019 11:24
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ok lyle i don't think we pulled being a dorkwad into this sprint so please shut the gently caress up
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Nov 24, 2019 12:29
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yeah, see "as a development team, i want to be a dorkwad" is still on the backlog
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Nov 24, 2019 12:39
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I too built the lego mars colony, bask in my agility
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Nov 24, 2019 13:19
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El Mero Mero posted:In my government office there was a manager who got incredibly excited about "doing a standup" so she had a meeting to find a time when everyone could standup and then a month later we stood up while she made some announcements and then dismissed us. laffo
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Nov 24, 2019 15:33
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Jonny 290 posted:i just use 4 column trellos: "someday", "this week", "in progress" and "done". move things from someday to this week once a week, then work out of there. same but my four columns are haven’t even started yet, i need to do something more, i am waiting for someone else to take the next step, and done
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Nov 24, 2019 16:33
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welcome to agile, where the timelines are made up and the requirements don't matter!
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Nov 24, 2019 17:24
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:welcome to agile, where the timelines are made up and the requirements don't matter!
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Nov 24, 2019 17:49
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:welcome to agile, where the timelines are made up and the requirements don't matter! ok but again: this is all software development
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Nov 24, 2019 19:09
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lol if u panic over a business imposed deadline
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Nov 24, 2019 20:44
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:welcome to agile, where the timelines are made up and the requirements don't matter!
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Nov 24, 2019 20:45
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:welcome to agile, where the timelines are made up and the requirements don't matter!
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Nov 24, 2019 21:48
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akadajet posted:lol if u panic over a business imposed deadline three months behind schedule is our 'ahead of schedule'
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Nov 25, 2019 13:15
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Kempy posted:three months behind schedule is our 'ahead of schedule' the mythical month-man
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Nov 25, 2019 18:19
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very rarely does it take me longer than ten minutes to do a prescription and often it’s less than 5 from the time the patient hands it till when I give them the drugs. agile seems like a slow way to do things
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Nov 25, 2019 20:18
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echinopsis posted:t’s less than 5 from the time the patient hands it till when I give them the drugs. give us the drugs, echi
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Nov 25, 2019 20:26
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Nov 26, 2019 00:47
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the America Bernie wants
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Nov 26, 2019 01:49
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akadajet posted:the America Bernie wants go on
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Nov 26, 2019 02:00
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back in my day we didn’t need prescriptions like some baby asking pretty please for its binky. we’d walk into the apothecary, look the barber in the eye and say “sir i’m hear to buy that bottle of laudnum from you” and he’d sell it to me and i’d thank him for it! then i’d shake his hand before going off to find my fainting couch in the parlor.
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Nov 26, 2019 02:18
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lol ... viagra “almost free”
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Nov 26, 2019 02:42
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echinopsis posted:very rarely does it take me longer than ten minutes to do a prescription and often it’s less than 5 from the time the patient hands it till when I give them the drugs. imagine if instead of prescribing based on a wealth of information in scientific literature and FDA testing that you just formulated drugs from scratch out of basic reagents with a vague idea of what the end structure should sorta look like, gave the results to patients, and improved on that by ruling out whichever syntheses resulted in deaths. now, you might say that this is a bad idea, but think of how much worse it would be if you just used one random synth only and it killed everyone!
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Nov 26, 2019 05:26
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El Mero Mero posted:In my government office there was a manager who got incredibly excited about "doing a standup" so she had a meeting to find a time when everyone could standup and then a month later we stood up while she made some announcements and then dismissed us. dismissed as in "ok go away and do your work now" or dismissed as in fired
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Nov 26, 2019 13:58
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CMYK BLYAT! posted:imagine if instead of prescribing based on a wealth of information in scientific literature and FDA testing that you just formulated drugs from scratch out of basic reagents with a vague idea of what the end structure should sorta look like, gave the results to patients, and improved on that by ruling out whichever syntheses resulted in deaths. this probably would be a more enjoyable job 🤔
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Nov 27, 2019 00:59
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i need a pill that will give me lots of energy and make me feel happy all the time. which one is that?
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Nov 27, 2019 01:04
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