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YOU'RE a ho! And YOU'RE a ho! **Santa shits down another chimney** Lookit me, everyone! I'm makin' COAL! **takes another pull from a comically huge whiskey bottle while sitting on a chimney** WOOHOO I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS DRUNK IN A LONG TIME! **stands up, wipes rear end with his hat, drops it down the same chimney he just shat down and drops trousers** OK EVERYONE, LISTEN UP! SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TONIGHT! ALL OVER THIS ROOF! |
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Dec 2, 2019 18:56
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 23:55 |
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Santa's reindeer grazing in a field of cannabis because it's not his weed and why should HE care? |
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Dec 2, 2019 19:57
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You are awakened in the middle of the night. You realize it's Christmas Eve... You roll over, and you see it's Santa, gently nudging you. "Hey, you got anything stronger than MILK? Mrs. Claus is always busting my jingle bells about watching my health and all that, I get out ONE TIME a year, you think you and me could hit up the liquor cabinet?" The gleam in his eye is full of mischief, you and Santa go out on the town for a night neither of you (and society) will ever forget because you share your stash, get tore up and even get the reindeer high. Rudolph's nose ain't glowing from no Christmas magic! He's so drunk Mrs. Claus is going to kick both of your asses tomorrow, but let's forget about tomorrow, let's do it tonight! Give your everything and give Pitbull and Neyo somethin' to sing about, dale! |
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Dec 2, 2019 21:03
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Santa waiting in line to get into the strip club with a handful of ones clutched in his hand. Every girl that sits in Santa's lap is going to be a GOOD girl tonight, no matter how naughty she is; and yes it WILL be raining! |
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Dec 2, 2019 22:19
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