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What if Santa is like an accountant who absolutely hates his job and its tax season coming up except its santa and christmas not the accountant thing
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Dec 2, 2019 18:49
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- Adbot
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May 15, 2024 22:25
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- vanisher
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"Christ this jacket is disgusting, but you cant just wash a fur coat in the laundry machine. I'll just febreeze it again"
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Dec 2, 2019 18:51
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- vanisher
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Oh my god I just cant handle reading all the letters again. They know its the parents, right? Can this be delegated to an elf maybe?
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Dec 2, 2019 18:54
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- vanisher
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**Santa shits down another chimney**
Lookit me, everyone! I'm makin' COAL!!
lmbo
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Dec 2, 2019 19:03
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- vanisher
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Disney just released the film its not going on their new streaming service for at least like, 6 months? I dont know. They control the release schedule, can we get some kind of psa out on the radio? What? Kids don't listen to the radio?
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Dec 2, 2019 19:07
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- vanisher
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What in the hell is Fortnight just tell these kids to build their forts out of pillows they have in the house already.
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Dec 2, 2019 19:09
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- vanisher
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Keeps telling his wife this is the worst christmas season of his career every year
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Dec 2, 2019 22:40
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- vanisher
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Hey, listen here little elf. You're a good worker. I cant run this place forever, and ill need to retire eventually. I want you to take it over for me. Ive amassed a substantial client list, and I'll sell you the practice. I'll need residuals for a couple years, let's say maybe one out of three cookies?
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Dec 2, 2019 22:43
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- vanisher
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"What? 'Bring toon town back'? Come on kid they are planning on opening two new rides for star wars land in 2020 give it a chance."
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Dec 2, 2019 22:46
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- vanisher
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Santas mile long stare with semitransparent images of the flying sleigh superimposed
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Dec 2, 2019 23:17
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- vanisher
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Oh man a yo-yo? What kind of nerd kid asks for a yo-yo. Oh my god I cant breathe.
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Dec 2, 2019 23:32
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- vanisher
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Needs therapy after reading the naughty list.
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Dec 3, 2019 01:04
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- vanisher
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[makes a list]
“gently caress this”
Who would know if I just checked it once?
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Dec 4, 2019 07:38
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- vanisher
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Elf: Hey boss. Morning.
Santa: (under his breath)fuckyouyoulittleshit
Elf: Excuse me?
Santa: gently caress YOUUUUUUUU!
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Dec 4, 2019 18:33
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- vanisher
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Who in the F*@# is telling these people to leave out room temp flat diet cokes this is the FOURTH HOUSE
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Dec 4, 2019 18:47
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- vanisher
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(little girl leaving out milk and cookies)
(Dad slides in with his traditional 'dad goodies' plate, a shot of burbon and three Marlboro 'blacks')
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Dec 4, 2019 18:49
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- vanisher
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Installing a wide seat and warmer on the toilet for Santa.
"Aww YEAH. Been holding this in for like 5 houses."
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Dec 4, 2019 19:00
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- Adbot
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May 15, 2024 22:25
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- vanisher
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Drunk, asleep santa snoring on the toilet. The reindeers wondering if they should check on him.
"Whoa, hold on. You know how I got this red nose? The song wasnt entirely accurate."
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Dec 4, 2019 19:35
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Dec 2, 2019 18:49
