Eli Manning Fucking Rules

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Eli Manning Fucking Rules

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Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

really queer Christmas posted:

Eli is currently 116-116 and as such neither rules nor sucks.

He is the true neutral of football.

I want giants/eagles to tie on monday.

# ? Dec 4, 2019 21:39

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# ? May 7, 2024 15:45

yea ok: Jul 27, 2006

romo is good

# ? Dec 5, 2019 03:46

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

romo has over 4000 throws. after this season he and andy dalton will have a similar amount of throws which tells you all you need to know. they're Aces

# ? Dec 5, 2019 04:04

Dubious: Mar 7, 2006; The Heroes the Vikings Deserve; Lipstick Apathy

i voted 3, gonna need more reason to vote 4

# ? Dec 5, 2019 05:12

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Dubious posted:

i voted 3, gonna need more reason to vote 4

Eli manning consistently poo poo the bed when playing MN.

For that I will always be grateful.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 15:04

Blowjob Overtime: Apr 6, 2008; Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

OxySnake posted:

Eli manning consistently poo poo the bed when playing MN.

For that I will always be grateful.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 15:24

Saucer Crab: Apr 3, 2009

OxySnake posted:

Eli manning consistently poo poo the bed when playing MN.

For that I will always be grateful.

Eli Manning has two more Super Bowl wins than the entire Vikings franchise.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 15:50

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

you can't spell "Elite" without "Eli".

# ? Dec 5, 2019 16:06

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

I think it's time for me to give my :patssay:

input.

Eli Manning is the perfect embodiment of America at its absolute worst: a silver spoon legacy shitbird getting a disproportionate share of the credit for the hard work and dedication of others.

Sorry, I was thinking about Peyton there, the entitled moral coward, confirmed sex offender and PED cheat of the family. :manning:

It's actually kind of amazing how Peyton never had a single Super Bowl run where he actually played well, while Eli had TWO of them, both capped by defeating the greatest evil empire of his, or possibly any other, football era.

Peyton stole a win in the 2006 AFCCG against Brady when he was throwing to...uh... *looks it up*... Reche :stare:

Caldwell. Eli did it in the Super Bowl when Brady was throwing to Randy Motherfucking Moss.

I mean just look at this poo poo:

code:

Year     Tm QBrec Cmp Att Cmp%  Yds TD Int Y/A   Y/G  Rate ANY/A 4QC GWD
2007    NYG   4-0  72 119 60.5  854  6   1 7.2 213.5  95.7  6.89   2   3
2011    NYG   4-0 106 163 65.0 1219  9   1 7.5 304.8 103.3  7.35   2   2

code:

Year     Tm QBrec Cmp Att Cmp%  Yds TD Int Y/A   Y/G Rate ANY/A 4QC GWD
2006    IND   4-0  97 153 63.4 1034  3   7 6.8 258.5 70.5  4.64   1   1
2015    DEN   3-0  51  92 55.4  539  2   1 5.9 179.7 75.4  4.54   1   1

So to conclude :frogout:

and fit Eli for a gold jacket.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 16:06

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Saucer Crab posted:

Eli Manning has two more Super Bowl wins than the entire Vikings franchise.

He wouldnt if he played the Vikings in those superbowls though. :shrug:

Jason Sextro posted:

you can't spell "Elite" without "Eli".

You also cant spell "Pile of crap" without Eli.

:thunk:

# ? Dec 5, 2019 16:26

Top Hats Monthly: Jun 22, 2011; People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

🏈

# ? Dec 5, 2019 16:41

Jivesauce: Nov 22, 2007

sean10mm posted:

I think it's time for me to give my input.

Eli Manning is the perfect embodiment of America at its absolute worst: a silver spoon legacy shitbird getting a disproportionate share of the credit for the hard work and dedication of others.

Sorry, I was thinking about Peyton there, the entitled moral coward, confirmed sex offender and PED cheat of the family.

It's actually kind of amazing how Peyton never had a single Super Bowl run where he actually played well, while Eli had TWO of them, both capped by defeating the greatest evil empire of his, or possibly any other, football era.

Peyton stole a win in the 2006 AFCCG against Brady when he was throwing to...uh... *looks it up*... Reche Caldwell. Eli did it in the Super Bowl when Brady was throwing to Randy Motherfucking Moss.

I mean just look at this poo poo:
code:
Year     Tm QBrec Cmp Att Cmp%  Yds TD Int Y/A   Y/G  Rate ANY/A 4QC GWD
2007    NYG   4-0  72 119 60.5  854  6   1 7.2 213.5  95.7  6.89   2   3
2011    NYG   4-0 106 163 65.0 1219  9   1 7.5 304.8 103.3  7.35   2   2
code:
Year     Tm QBrec Cmp Att Cmp%  Yds TD Int Y/A   Y/G Rate ANY/A 4QC GWD
2006    IND   4-0  97 153 63.4 1034  3   7 6.8 258.5 70.5  4.64   1   1
2015    DEN   3-0  51  92 55.4  539  2   1 5.9 179.7 75.4  4.54   1   1
So to conclude and fit Eli for a gold jacket.

Oddly Peyton was better the two runs where he played in the Super Bowl but didn't win.

I've always wondered about Eli because I haven't ever seen him speak much, but is he really just spectacularly stupid or does he just look like that?

# ? Dec 5, 2019 16:51

sponges: Sep 15, 2011

Blowjob Overtime posted:

I think that was the Josh Freeman MNF game and I think the Vikes lost

# ? Dec 5, 2019 17:06

ZenVulgarity: Oct 9, 2012; I made the hat by transforming my zen

Eli is good Romo is trash the redskins don't matter and gently caress the eagles

# ? Dec 5, 2019 17:09

Blowjob Overtime: Apr 6, 2008; Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

sponges posted:

I think that was the Josh Freeman MNF game and I think the Vikes lost

That knowledge doesn't reduce the joy in my heart seeing Eli's face sitting there with his arm in the air helplessly.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 17:16

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Blowjob Overtime posted:

That knowledge doesn't reduce the joy in my heart seeing Eli's face sitting there with his arm in the air helplessly.

I miss Jared Allen every day.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 17:18

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

Clicked the thread because of the title and voted 5, saw that I couldn't see the OP because it was a Doltos thread so I hit refresh and voted 1. Mods I'm sorry, pls vote 1 on this thread the first time to make up for my mistake

# ? Dec 5, 2019 17:25

A.o.D.: Jan 15, 2006; The Suffering of the Succotash.

Autistic Edgy Guy posted:

Eli should've been an actor, well theres still a chance. His facial expressions really play well on camera

# ? Dec 5, 2019 20:58

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Eli will throw for 400 yards and 3 touchdowns in a win because he is the only player who cares on Monday.

He's playing for a job next year on another team.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 21:00

RedRaven: Sep 11, 2001; He's going to SHOCK the world!

Athanatos posted:

Eli will throw for 400 yards and 3 touchdowns in a win because he is the only player who cares on Monday.

He's playing for a job next year on another team.

Maybe he�ll get really lucky and wind up on a team that has an actual offensive line.

# ? Dec 5, 2019 21:04

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

he's Peeli Manning

# ? Dec 5, 2019 21:08

Dubious: Mar 7, 2006; The Heroes the Vikings Deserve; Lipstick Apathy

Athanatos posted:

Eli will throw for 400 yards and 3 touchdowns in a win because he is the only player who cares on Monday.

He's playing for a job next year on another team.

ill be shocked if he doesnt retire tbh

# ? Dec 6, 2019 05:40

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

Eli Manning loving? Rules!

# ? Dec 6, 2019 05:42

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

Eli is gonna win on Monday

# ? Dec 6, 2019 05:45

Takes No Damage: Nov 20, 2004; The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.; Grimey Drawer

# ? Dec 6, 2019 05:55

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

gently caress the Patriots

# ? Dec 6, 2019 12:41

Saucer Crab: Apr 3, 2009

Fun facts: Eli Manning is too stupid to get hurt and just good enough that he lasted 15 years without getting replaced so he compiled tons of stats at a mediocre rate.

He also is the only one of his contemporaries that won multiple Super Bowls without being a cheat or a sex pest or rapist. Eli Manning is the best.

Edit: Like the worst thing you can say about him is that he allegedly scammed a memorabilia dealer, who are by definition scum, so he's a hero too.

# ? Dec 6, 2019 14:02

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Breaking News: Eli Manning has been found to be part of a Rocket Pop insider trading operation.

# ? Dec 6, 2019 15:26

AndrewP: Apr 21, 2010

Weird how they grew up playing football together but Peyton has like twice the football IQ that Eli has

# ? Dec 6, 2019 16:25

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

# ? Dec 6, 2019 17:24

Shinji2015: Aug 31, 2007; Keen on the hygiene and on the mission like a super technician.

Eli has a gift for giving the camera the ~~worst~~best looks.

# ? Dec 6, 2019 17:28

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

Metapod posted:

He sucks gas the thread

# ? Dec 6, 2019 18:22

DeimosRising: Oct 17, 2005; �Hola SEA!

Jivesauce posted:

Oddly Peyton was better the two runs where he played in the Super Bowl but didn't win.

empty stats, doesn�t help the team win, makes his teammates worse, looter in a riot

# ? Dec 6, 2019 19:14

Mystic Stylez: Dec 19, 2009

Talking Peyton, I thought Brady was far and away the QB with most 4th quarter comebacks at this point but I checked it out and Manning still sits comfortably ahead of him

OTOH it's more difficult to comeback if your team is a goddamn 15 year dynasty that doesn't get behind that much, so :shrug:

# ? Dec 6, 2019 19:22

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Also if your team has a competent defense for most of your career and doesnt immediately squander the lead whenever you get it.

Ala the TMM comic.

# ? Dec 6, 2019 20:01

Jivesauce: Nov 22, 2007

DeimosRising posted:

empty stats, doesn�t help the team win, makes his teammates worse, looter in a riot

Well, if we learned anything from the Curtis Painter year it's that Peyton definitely didn't make his teammates worse.

# ? Dec 6, 2019 20:53

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# ? May 7, 2024 15:45

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Mystic Stylez posted:

OTOH it's more difficult to comeback if your team is cheating and Tom Brady cheats so they don�t get behind that much, so

# ? Dec 6, 2019 21:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Eli Manning Fucking Rules

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