|
Bring it on Byz LP!!!
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2019 23:44
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 7, 2024 14:50 |
|
|
 This is gonna be a Wild Ride. Would like to give major props to Flesnolk, Kangxi, Mr.Morgenstern and sheep-dodger, who did the lion's share of the modding help (with a ton of work by pinback as a foundation off the bat), as well as Ofaloaf for his input on trickier modding stuff when needed and zanni for hopping in and contributing massively in morale and materiel in getting the mod over the finish line. (My contribution was honestly limited to like, A Few Ideas and a brief spate of playtesting/bugfixing/balancing). And of course above all Nora has done an incredible job. There are something like TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE hand-drawn portraits in the mod, in addition to the massive amounts of modding work. So glad it's finally Here!
|
|
#
?
Dec 15, 2019 23:48
|
|
|
So I have a question; what can we expect as far as narrative and gameplay go? To clarify, I assume all the countries have focus trees of some kind, whether custom or generic. So I want to know if it's likely we're going to have wacky scenarios like half of every country flipping Fascist, or if you've basically set things up to work out with a really specific world war scenario? Also, if the Byzantines have any choices (like changing ideologies) in their focus tree, do we get any say in what they do?
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 00:39
|
|
|
sheep-dodger posted:That is all Nora's doing. She's a champ Is there such a thing as TOO much talent and style?
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 00:56
|
|
|
Also will the senate be back?
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 01:00
|
|
|
Let's not spoil anything, but I can say that some of the latest playtests have gone pretty dramatically off the rails, in various ways. So it won't be completely predictable.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 01:00
|
|
|
I binged the entirety of the last thread today. I am BELTING IN for a wild ride in this thread now.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 03:35
|
|
|
Just noticed Ireland's tank divisions haha also their Byzantine anti-fascist coup garrison division
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 04:43
|
|
|
LJN92 posted:So I have a question; what can we expect as far as narrative and gameplay go? We have custom focus trees for all the major and some of the secondary powers. We have also altered the generic focus tree. There are some recurring patterns for how events turn out, but very few things are completely predetermined. OP will put certain responses to certain incidents or decisions to a vote but that's her prerogative. There will be votes, but more like in the style of the later part of the LP. So not quite a legislative session like the CK2 stage of this LP (or the ongoing Jerusalem LP) but votes and in-character posts are still happening.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 05:25
|
|
|
Also, going back and reading through some of the choicest bits of ByzLP, it blows my mind that it all happened over the course of 15 months real time. That feels so short!
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 05:59
|
|
|
I'm very glad to see this back and hyped to see where it goes!
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 06:03
|
|
|
Mirdini posted:
i still kinda feel like my contributions might be a little overstated(?), but im super super happy to have been able to help at all!! and i honestly cant tell yall how pumped i am to see how things turn out for byzworld in the next 10 years, gosh global socialist victory in our time, god willing
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 07:24
|
|
|
Oooh! Read part of the LP in the archives. Looking forwards to it!
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 07:32
|
|
|
Love the artwork. Will read for sure.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 14:28
|
|
|
Hell, and I cannot stress this enough, yes.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 17:20
|
|
|
Let's smash the fash.
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 18:04
|
|
|
Ohboyohboyohboy I'm so excited
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 19:54
|
|
|
Pyroi posted:Let's smash the fash. Order of who to smash: Fash -> Pangalist -> Monarchist -> Liberal -> Mullerist
|
|
#
?
Dec 16, 2019 20:05
|
|
|
Yesyesyesyesyeeeeeeeeesssss I have been ready for this for so long. Workers of the world unite, all you have to lose is your chains! ...but don't leave them too far behind, because we gotta have something to wrap around all those fascist necks.
|
|
#
?
Dec 17, 2019 03:10
|
|
|
Jeoh posted:Let's gently caress up some fascists. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 17, 2019 06:09
|
|
|
I'm overjoyed to see this!!! Fun fact in the time since the first thread I changed my name and one of my names is now Valeria. Let the other chick change her's. I will see my name redeemed atop a mountain of fascist corpses.
|
|
#
?
Dec 17, 2019 08:28
|
|
|
A Baseball! the most Athenian of hobbies! I'm glad you're back to finish the fight!
|
|
#
?
Dec 17, 2019 09:34
|
|
|
this owns
|
|
#
?
Dec 17, 2019 23:52
|
|
|
The great revival! I hope Toden and Parthenon Materials stayed in.
|
|
#
?
Dec 18, 2019 01:13
|
|
|
hell  the LP is back, thank you nora and everyone who helped
|
|
#
?
Dec 19, 2019 17:23
|
|
|
oh hells yes ByzLP I went back and read some of ByzLP 1 and I had forgotten how much posting I did in there early on, it's fun as hell
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2019 01:45
|
|
|
Oh, hell yeah, Byzantium is back! Death to the false Empire of Rome!
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2019 09:51
|
|
|
Where can I find the Vicky 2 mod?
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2019 20:56
|
|
|
uguu posted:Where can I find the Vicky 2 mod? Right here! First real post coming Soon(tm); we had a few last minute bugs in the HoI 4 mod we had to run around fixing but they're basically sorted out now.
|
|
#
?
Dec 31, 2019 22:28
|
|
|
 I can't run eu or hoi 4 so I will enjoy following this. edit: I also forgot if there was an imgame reason for all the women in positions of power? uguu fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Jan 1, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2020 01:24
|
|
|
Nora played the CK2 portion with a gender equality mod, allowing female rulers. That remained the case in the rest of the games going forwards because sexism suddenly existing again wouldn't really make sense.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2020 01:48
|
|
|
(Approved by Nora as an official ByzLP post, proofread by goons Kangxi, Flesnolk, and Mirdini) Prague, Bohemia December 31st, 1935 It’s New Years’ Eve and you’re finally done with your semester at the University of Praha. It’s late at night and you’re speaking with your sister Viktorie over the phone after enjoying some parties beforehand. She’s stationed at the border and somehow pulled some strings to get access to this phone for hours. You’ve been telling her about the most interesting classes you’ve had so far: “The History of the Byzantines in the Middle Ages”, “The Byzantine State in the Early Modern Era”, and “The History of the Byzantine Republic”. Viktorie doesn’t know a lot about history but she’s always willing to listen to her baby sister. Whenever you’ve needed someone to talk to or confide in, she’s been there for you. After giving her some background on the early Byzantine Empire, you start with Alexios Komnenos in 1081.  “So Alexios has a lot of stuff on his plate. The Turks have seized Anatolia and formed the Sultanate of Rum” you say. “Rum?” Viktorie says. “Like Rome?” “Exactly. The Byzantines considered themselves to be the continuation of the old Roman Empire, as did the Turks. Though one of my British classmates burst out laughing when he heard the name. Said it sounded like Rum, which is what you get when you ferment sugarcane or something.” “I’ve had some of it, not particularly fond of it. So what’s old Alexios going to do about this Turkish problem?”  “Well, first he has to fight off an invasion by the Normans, basically Vikings who became French and took over Sicily and England. He’s able to drive them off though. After that, he forms an alliance with the Holy Roman Empire.” “Didn’t the North German Federation use to be the Holy Roman Empire?” “Well, that Holy Roman Empire isn’t quite the same as this Holy Roman Empire. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it later. Anyways, he then fights off the Doukes, the main nobles of the Byzantine Empire.”  “So the Byzantines are at the brink and they’re already undercutting each other?” “Yep, the Doukes are going to cause a lot of problems as time goes on. So after that, Alexios begins his plans to retake the Anatolian coast. There’s some hiccups with the Bulgarians, but that’s not going to be a problem until later on. Eventually he launches a massive invasion of Anatolia alongside the Germans and completely overwhelms the Turks, taking back most of the coast. He’s also setting up spy rings to kill Turkish leaders.”  “Nice.” “I also forgot to mention that Alexios starts conquering the Pechenegs.” “Who?” “Nomadic steppe people to the north of Byzantium. Unfortunately, Alexios dies of an illness in 1099, leaving his son Meletios to take the throne.”  “Meletios is a bit less impressive than his father. He continues the conquest of the Pechenegs and sets up a merchant republic to dominate Black Sea trade. He loses a war to the Seljuks too, but it was just one province. There’s also a war with the Cilicians, but he wins that. And then he goes and dies of a venereal disease in 1118.” “Accomplished only half what his father did and then died of an STD. Sounds like the old commander.” Viktorie chuckles at her own joke. “Following Meletios, it’s time for Eirene II.”  “The second?” “Yeah, Eirene I was Empress for a short period of time around the 800s. It’s actually because of her we even have a Holy Roman Empire, since the Pope said a woman couldn’t be ruler of the Roman Empire, so he made Charlemagne emperor. So anyways, we have Eirene, who forms an alliance with Kiev and crushes the last remnants of the Pechenegs. There’s also this cool thing where she sets a pirate king’s fleet on fire. She also bangs a bishop. But the big thing that happens during her reign is the Great Bulgarian Uprising.”  “Hang on, I got a guy in the unit with a grandfather from Sofia, and he won’t shut up about how the brave and noble Bulgarians overthrew the corrupt and wicked Byzantines.” “Yeah, the uprising certainly took the Byzantines by surprise. Nearly cut the empire in half. Honestly surprised there’s still Bulgarian nationalists kicking in this day and age. Oh yeah, and Eirene also dies of an illness in 1126.”  “Geez, life in the Middle Ages was short.” “At least if you’re from a set of warrior kings and queens I guess. But next we have Iouliana.” “I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of her. She’s a pretty big deal, right? I know my squaddie bitches about her a lot, right after that ‘loving Basil’.” “So Iouliana is known as one of the greats in Byzantine history. The first thing that happens is that she has to fight to keep the Pechenegs in the Empire after they rebelled, but fortunately her regent is able to get the army together and fight them off and win a Doukal civil war.” “Another civil war? Really?” “Yeah, I told you there’s going to be a lot of them! Regardless, she takes care of them in short order, which is when the Saimids declare war on her.” “Who?”  “Oh, the Saimids were a Turkish dynasty that overthrew the Seljuks, only for the Seljuks to overthrow them, and then the Saimids overthrew the Seljuks again for good measure and it became a revolving door of dynasties. Iouliana doesn’t feel like destroying the army to defend the single province the Turks were after, so she just hands it over. Gotta pick your battles, right? At this point the Bulgarians decide to wage war on Byzantium again, but this time Iouliana wipes the floor with them and destroys their army. But before she can rest, the Doukes decide to start another civil war.” “Oh gently caress these guys. I can’t imagine any of the counts undermining the King like this.” “Well the Byzantine nobles had a reputation for being rebellious and constantly trying to overthrow the Emperor. Once again, however, the Doukes get their asses kicked and the Empress is victorious. Now we get to why your squaddie really hates Iouliana. She turns around and starts beating the stuffing out of the Bulgarians. Though she doesn’t go around cutting the Bulgarians’ eyes out like ol’ Basil did-” “He did what!?”  “Long story, maybe later. In any case, Iouliana destroys any hope of a resurgent Bulgarian Empire. Honestly, calling that iteration an empire is too kind, if you ask me. But after that she also conquers Crimea. So we have a strong and capable Empress, who’s fought off all of the empire’s enemies and secured peace and prosperity for the people. So guess what happens?” “The Doukes rebel?” “The Doukes rebel and during the fighting Iouliana is killed by a bishop named - I’m not making this up - Zenon the Wicked.” “You’re loving with me.”  “I am not. So Iouliana, one of the best empresses in ages, is killed by some rando bishop in 1170, starting what’s called the Komnenian Crisis. So now it’s the turn of her son, Alexios II. Thing is, the Doukes nearly won this war. They actually capture the Emperor and have him at their mercy.” “So what happened?” “Instead of forcing him to agree to their terms, they just castrate him and let him go.”  “Eeesh. They really just let him go?” “Yep. In the end everyone just calls off the fighting since neither the Emperor nor the Doukes could get the upper hand, leaving the Emperor free to take back Crimea after some steppe nomads took it over during the civil war. Oh, and sis, you’ll probably recognize this next part. Have you ever heard of the Black Chamber?” “Oh! I remember them! They were the bad guys in Anita Andretti and the Casket of Cagliari!” “Well, Alexios officially creates the Black Chamber. And then he dies in 1180, leaving his creepy genius baby son Kaisarios to take over the throne.”  “What do you mean by ‘creepy genius baby son’?”  “Oh, stuff like saying ‘Bear in mind that you are my possessions and I can destroy you at my whim and pleasure’ when he was four years old. He follows in the footsteps of his grandma and started kicking around the Bulgarians as well. Then he dies in 1208 and it’s his daughter Euphrosyne’s turn to take over.”  “By this time the empire has stabilized and it’s pretty much the end of the Komnenian Crisis. Oh, and Euphrosyne finally puts the Bulgarian Empire out of its misery. It didn’t even last a century.” “Rest in loving pieces.” “Of course then the Doukes decide to start another civil war, which they once again lose.” “Of course.” “Euphrosyne conquers a bit of Croatia and then she croaks in 1231. Now, you’ve almost definitely heard of this next empress: Valeria.”  “Honestly at this point I’ve heard too much of Valeria. But I know this Valeria you’re talking about conquered Rome and a bunch of other places.” “Yep. Not only that, she conquers Sicily, Antioch, Kartli, Cilicia, Azov, and even fights off another Doukal civil war. She crushes Venice so hard the old Doge ends up a pauper. I think they ended up naming a street after him, though, he ended up being kind of a popular figure somehow afterwards. Oh yeah, she also reconquers Rome, which was pretty much the dream of every ambitious emperor since the city fell. All in all, Valeria has fifty years of kicking rear end until she dies in 1281.”       “drat, no wonder the fash decided to name their weird leader-lady-goddess-thing after her.” “She’s not even the Valeria they named those women after! But anyways, she’s succeeded by her son, Trajan II, who mostly consolidates his mom's conquests. He dies in 1293, without any major wars screwing things up.”  “Wow, impressive.”  “Next emperor is a guy named Kyriakos. He honestly doesn’t do much before dying during another Doukal war. Oh yeah, guess who shows up in this war?” “Who? The Black Chamber?” “No, the Ceska Lipas. It’s a Ceska Lipa who kills Kyriakos in 1294.”  “Huh. That’s bizarre, since I’ve been to Ceska Lipa and you wouldn’t have guessed that someone like the Tsarina of Russia would be descended from the people there. Honestly the whole place was a little spooky.” “Yeah, the Ceska Lipas are apparently everywhere in the middle ages. You’d find them in banks, you’d find them in mercenary companies, you’d even find them in the clergy. But yeah, Kyriakos dies and it’s his daughter Valeria II who takes over. You’ve definitely heard of her, she’s who the fash love to talk about.”  “She ended the Great Schism, didn’t she? Every kid learns that in Sunday school.”     “I figured you’d know that part. Valeria II conquers Jerusalem and Alexandria, and reconquers Antioch after it had fallen to the Turks during the civil war, which I forgot to mention ended when the dude the Doukes were trying to put on the throne just up and died. Everyone just went home! Oh yeah, and she has to put down three other civil wars while she’s Empress. She also defends herself against a massive Islamic invasion of Egypt.”   “Unfortunately, her successes hit a wall when a Ceska Lipa pope apparently hires, in the words of one Byzantine soldier, ‘every single mercenary in the loving world’ and storms Rome.” “Hold on, was this because of all the gold he had? I remember that one Anita Andretti book, I think it was Anita Andretti and the Coffers of Orbetello. You know, that one where a mad count tries to find the gold so he could raise an army to overthrow the Byzantine Republic and make himself Emperor?”  “That was part of it. He also has a lot of connections since he’s, well, a Ceska Lipa. This is pretty much the only war Valeria loses, since it’s hard to beat the largest mercenary army on the planet. People end up calling it the Church Militant. But in the end Valeria II has a long and successful career as Empress and passes away in 1341, leaving her granddaughter Valeria III to take the throne. And shortly after Valeria III does so as a young girl, the Doukes rebel once again.”  You hear a sigh at the other end of the phone. You continue. “And we aren’t going to hear much more from Valeria III, since she’s assassinated a year later in 1342.” “What? Assassinated? By who, the Black Chamber?”  “Not them, actually. People thought it was her aunt, Gabriela, for ages but there’s been some new evidence that it was actually the Duchess of Alexandria, who was convinced that Valeria III had killed her dog. The Duchess was also convinced that she received visions from God to take North Africa for the Empire, so you can make your guesses as to her sanity.” “So who’s next in line here?”  “It’s Gabriela, Valeria II’s sister, who ends the civil war and conquers Tuscany afterwards. Thing is, Gabriela is married to Tsar Sudislav of Kiev and they’re pretty much the Power Couple of their time. He helps her put down the rebellion in the empire and she helps him out with whatever conquests he was going on. Now, I forgot to mention this, but Persia and China get conquered by a nomadic tribe known as the Mongols a little while back, but they never bordered Byzantium, so I didn’t bring them up. The reason I’m bringing this up now is because a massive anti-Mongol rebellion called the Red Turban rebellion rises up in China and throws out the Mongol emperor. This is going to be hugely important later.”  “Wait a minute, does this have something to do with the Ming Frontier Army?” “I’ll get to it, but you remember what I said about Gabriela being married to the Tsar of Kiev, right?” “Yeah…”  “Well when she dies in 1357, she’s succeeded by her son, Yaroslav. And he’s not a Komnenos, he’s a Yaroslavovich, and he marks the end of the Komnenian dynasty ruling the Empire. Not the end of the Komnenos in general, because they’re going to show up later in the most insane way possible." “I can’t wait to hear about it.” “It’s pretty good. So anyways, Yaroslav controls both Kiev and Byzantium, making this the largest Byzantium proper has ever been - or will ever be, for that matter.” “Hold on” There seems to be a lightbulb going off in your sister’s head. “Is this why Russia calls itself Third Rome and makes noise about the Communist usurpers?” “Good thinking! That’s more or less why. But here’s the kicker. This union lasts only a year before Yaroslavl gets assassinated in 1358 and Kiev goes to his son and Byzantium to his daughter.”  “Did the Black Chamber kill him?” “Nope, people thought they did for ages, but it turns out it was actually some Russian nobles.” “Man, did the Black Chamber kill anyone interesting? Like in Anita Andretti and the Casket of Cagliari they claim to have killed Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great.” “They killed a lot of interesting people if you study the Seljuks, just not Byzantine Emperors. So now it’s Dobrava Yaroslavovna, his daughter, who has a chance to shine. As is tradition at this point, the Doukes start a civil war, but this time, they win!”  “Wow. It only took them them one hundred times. So what happens next?”   “They put some guy named Komitas Branas on the throne in 1362 and undo all the hard work the Emperors did to curb the powers of the Doukes. Komitas also lets Crimea, Belgorod, Antioch, Jerusalem and Lombardy slip away. He does beat back the Fatimids, the guys who used to rule Egypt, and the Somalians, so I guess he wasn’t completely useless. Unfortunately for him, the Queen of Sicily backs Dobrava in a bid for the throne and Dobrava’s back on top in 1368.”   “Nice. Does Komitas come back to do anything stupid or crazy?” “Nope, he pretty much vanishes from history at this point. Now we come to a part you might be a little more familiar with. So let’s return to China for one second. The Red Turbans have overthrown the Mongols and are looking to get things back in order. First on the agenda is pacifying the Silk Road and reopen trade with the West. So the Emperor of China grabs a man named Chang Yuchun and gives him a massive expeditionary force, then gives him vague orders to ‘secure the Silk Road’”.  “Hold on, this is the Ming Frontier Army, isn’t it?”  “Yep. The Ming Frontier Army just carves through the Middle East like a hot knife through butter in a matter of years.” “There’s something that’s actually been bothering me about that whole thing. They said in school that the MFA took over Leon, but how? They’re on the other side of the Mediterrean. Did the MFA just get a bunch of airplanes from the future and fly their army across Europe to Iberia?”   “Well, it seems that when the Sultan of Oman surrenders to the Ming Frontier Army, he lets them know about his far away holdings in Leon. So Chang Yuchun puts a few thousand of his best soldiers with muskets on boats and orders them to take Leon. Once there, the commander of those troops takes control of the local levies and is immediately attacked by one of the neighboring polities. Unfortunately for that Iberian realm, they’d never faced gunpowder weapons before and completely collapse in the face of the Chinese barrage. Considering that Iberia was fairly divided anyways, it doesn’t take much for the MFA to carve out a strong foothold for themselves. While all this is happening, Dobrava is in the middle of taking back provinces that fell away during Komitas’ reign. She retakes Belgorod and uh, I’m not sure if I’m pronouncing this right, Cibyrrhaeot. Also, just to set up something for later, the King of England is elected to the office of the Holy Roman Emperor and decides to dissolve the title of King of England. This won’t cause any problems down the line, nope.”  “Huh, always wondered what happened to the English. All I could remember from school was William the Conqueror. I guess that whole Battle of Hastings thing didn’t amount to much, did it?” “That's debatable, but also a tangent we don’t have time for. So back to the Byzantines and the MFA. So the MFA takes Somalia and Cicilia and the Doukes decide to start another civil war, because we don’t want Dobrava to get complacent, do we? And wouldn’t you know it, during this war Dobrava is killed by a Ceska Lipa in 1402.”  “No.” “Yes. Rurik is next in line, and decides to plunder the merchant Republic of Crimea, one of the old Byzantine Vassals. He gets a ton of money in the treasury for this, which is helpful when the Sunni Caliph declares a holy war on him. This goes fairly well, especially since Chang Yunchun declares war on the Caliph himself, tearing through his armies and leaving almost none to challenge the Byzantines. The only problem is Rurik gets killed in battle in 1410 and leaves his young daughter Eirene III in charge.”   “Man the Byzantine Emperors were bad at fighting, weren’t they?”   “Yeah. So the Caliph loses both wars, and through various inheritance shenanigans I won’t get into, the MFA finds itself in control of a small province on the Danube on the outer edges of Hungary. As you might expect, this means that the MFA declares war on Hungary, because in Chang Yuchun’s opinion the Danube is now part of the Silk Road.   Byzantium rushes to Hungary’s aid, hoping to strike a blow against the MFA. They do in fact manage to score a victory in battle against the MFA! It was huge news all across Europe and the Middle East. Unfortunately, the MFA still has the sheer numbers it needs to overwhelm Hungary and Byzantium.   However, the war does prove that the MFA in’t invincible and they can be beaten. So many of the MFA’s vassals decide to launch a massive rebellion, which sadly doesn’t go any better for them than did the vast majority of the doukes rebellions.”   “A shame.”  “After conquering most of the Middle East and more besides, Chang Yuchun goes insane and drops dead, andhis son dies shortly thereafter. This leaves his infant grandson was in charge. At least on paper. The Chinese military officials who are actually in charge decide to invade Bavaria, and Byzantium immediately intervenes. Which is when the Byzantine Duel Curse strikes again and Eirene dies in 1425, leaving her older sister Basilike in charge.”   “Wait, older? Why didn’t Basilike get the title before Eirene?” “Well the Byzantines had this weird “born in the purple” tradition, where the kids born to the Emperor while he was emperor had priority in succession over the kids who weren’t. Basilike was married to an English count and her son was of the House de Mowbray. Before we get to the dynastic implications of that, Basilike has to go the Bavaria and try to deal with the MFA, which wins that war regardless.   However, you probably know what’s about to happen next. I mean, there’s only like a billion poems and songs about this next part.”  “The Revolt of the Hungarian League.”  “You know it. So when the King of Hungary rebels against the MFA, he’s soon joined by the Byzantines and every other person who wanted to stick to the MFA, which turns out to be a lot of people. It’s an arduous struggle, but finally, the MFA is forced to turn tail back to the Middle East in defeat. This, of course, means that the Doukes reward Basilike with another civil war, which is promptly crushed. I guess they know a new era was coming, one without powerful doukes, and they want one last bite at the apple. They’re going to get one more rebellion in the Early Modern era, but that’s a couple decades later, if I recall correctly.”   "Hey Ingrid, before you get started on the next part, did you make sure to stock up on canned food like I asked you to?" "Yeah, but with the rumors of war going around, the stores were packed. Not only that, but prices have skyrocketed. The store owners say they're just responding to demand, but I'm certain they figured they could make a killing off of the panic." "loving vampires. Sometimes I wonder if the commies have a point. King Vladan told them to knock it off, didn't he?" "Well, he was able to get them to lower their prices to where you could actually afford food and have money left over, at least. Viktorie, do you really think there's going to be a war?" There's a long pause. "Ingrid, my instincts tell me to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Stanislaus has been going on for a while with this bullshit that one of his pet nobles has a claim on Bohemia, but I'm not sure he has the stones to actually do anything about it. If things do start looking real bad, head for the border and meet up with Uncle Johan and Aunt Edita in the NGF. But enough of that. Let's get back to the Byzantines. What happens next?"  “Well, when we come to the Early Modern Era, the rules start to change. It’s like God swapped one board game out for another. You remember how in the Medieval Era Byzantium spent most of its time fighting infidels and rebellions? Byzantium’s going to spend a lot of time fighting its fellow Christians in this era, as well as the occasional infidel.” “Huh. So what happened to the MFA? Do they just keep being that terror of an army?” “Actually, after the Revolt of the Hungarian League, the MFA breaks apart into several successor states: Da Qin in Syria and the Levant, Yilang in Persia, Lai Ang in Iberia, and Ao Do Li in Austria. Byzantium also faces upheavals. For one thing, Byzantium votes to keep calling themselves Rome, rather than the Byzantium reformers favor.”  “You’d never hear that these days.”  “Nope. Additionally, “Rome” as they vote to call it gives four regions greater autonomy: Sicily, Belgorod, Ragusa, and Kartli. While this helps control rebellions and unrest, keeping these regions in line takes up a lot of Rome’s diplomatic corps, leaving them critically isolated on the world stage. So, as Basilike is looking over her reorganized state, when the King of Savoy dies without an heir and France says they’re now the rightful rulers of that place. Rome tries to intervene and go ‘nuh uh, you’re not’, but gets its rear end kicked and is forced to release Crete as an independent state.” “Ouch.” “Yeah, not only that, but the Croatians and the Venetians rise up in rebellion as well. Basilike takes care of that and guess who shows up for one last ‘gently caress you’?”  “The Doukes?” “Yep. Those assholes wanted to screw Rome one last time before disappearing from the history books. There’s even a theory that the old nobility continued to interfere with the recruitment process for Rome’s standing army afterwards. I don’t know if I believe it, but it would be in character for the Doukes to be spiteful for the rest of time. It’d also explain Rome’s poor military performance in the Early Modern.”  “Huh?”  “Yeah, Rome’s going to get its rear end kicked all around the Med for the first part of the Early Modern. Basilike is, however, able to score a victory over the Italian city state of Ferrara, as well as integrate Sicily once again. Diplomacy in the Early Modern got a lot more complicated. Countries start to rely less on dynastic ties for alliances, and a small war with a microstate can quickly spiral into war with the half of Europe. And France, which increasingly sees itself as the rightful hegemon of Europe, is going to try to interfere in Rome’s business whenever it can. Anyways, Basilike dies in 1464, and is succeeded by her son, Hugh de Mowbray, bringing the Yaroslavovich line in Rome to an end, at least for a while.” “They’re going to come back?”  “Yeah, but not for a couple hundred years or so. So Hugh de Mowbray is Emperor. An Englishman on the throne. But honestly all that happens in his reign is that the Austrians declare war on Rome’s vassals and honestly I can’t remember how that ended. I don’t even remember when Hugh died. I think it was 1467? Anyways, he dies and his daughter, Hypatia, dies a year later in 1468. So for like two or three years there’s no one on the throne of Rome. No Caesars. Eventually, in 1470 they manage to dredge up a noble family from a close ally of theirs, Poland. That’s how Theochariste I Radziwiłł came to the throne.”  “Are the Radziwiłls going to drop dead too?”   “Nope! They’re going to stick around for a while. Theochariste conquers northeastern Italy and takes Karaman from Da Qin. Kinda impressive, considering the Byzantines’ later track record against Yilang and Da Qin. The military innovations of the MFA successor states was nothing to sneeze at. Oh yeah, the Habsburgs inherited Scotland around this time, in addition to their sitting on the Holy Roman throne. The last thing to happen in Theochariste’s reign is the Peasants’ War, at which point she dies of pure rage. I am not making this up.”  “Holy poo poo.”  “In 1519, Theodora becomes empress, and she fights off a Kievan attempt to take Moldavia, which ends in a white peace. More interestingly, remember how Valeria II ended the Great Schism and reunified the Church? Well the French decide to go ‘nah, gently caress that, we’re doing our own thing’. They didn’t want their clergymen taking orders from a guy on the Byzantine payroll. That’s how Gallicanism started, more or less.”   “I think our priest in Sunday School always said it was striking a blow against the tyranny of the Romans, but honestly I always felt it was something more like this.” “Yep, and religious frustration also leads to the rise of Bogomils, though they don’t get quite as much patronage as the Gallicans get. Then Yilang, who will soon become Rome’s boogeyman, declares a war on Rome to take Kartli, during which Theodora dies. This marks the start of a period known as the Deluge, also known as the ‘Everything is on Fire, Oh God Why’ period of Roman history.” “I’ve heard of this, though I never got the details.” “Honestly even I don’t have all the details, since this part was a bit of a Deluge of information to listen to.” You pause for effect. Viktorie audibly winces. You continue. “... Well, in 1545, Iouliana Radziwiłł takes the throne. Iouliana is not the great warrior Iouliana Komnenos was.”  “In short, Iouliana is a land of contrasts.”  “Yeah. First, Georgia is lost to Yilang. Then, Da Qin takes Karaman and Amaysa. Then Iouliana dies in 1566, and things continue to be hosed.”  “Oh boy.” “Aurelian II becomes Emperor and unfortunately for Rome, he isn’t like Aurelian I. Are you familiar with piñatas? That Leonese thing they do at birthdays where kids take whacks at a paper donkey or whatever? Rome is the piñata, and its neighbors are the kids taking a swing. France attacks, Russia attacks, Poland attacks, Da Qin attacks, Yilang attacks, the Pope attacks, everyone attacks and everything is in flames and hosed. The entire navy sinks multiple times.”        “In the middle of all this, the first Ayitian explorers show up in Europe, following conflict with the Scottish Hapsburgs over Scottish colonial territories. Modern Somalia’s ancestor is also formed by the ancient Abyssinian nation.”   “So what happened to Rome? How did they go from the great power of the Med to everyone’s punching bag?”  “Well, you probably won’t be surprised to hear that there are a lot of theories. A demoralized army, bad harvests, institutional rot, and an inability to keep up with the military innovations of its neighbors are all things cited in why Rome got its rear end kicked. Aurelian dies in 1597, having ruled over an empire in freefall for thirty years.” “drat.”       “It’s Hypatia II’s turn for the throne, and things continue to go poorly. Ferrara’s started to take swings at Rome. Things get so bad that Bulgaria, after being part of Rome for the past few hundred years, decides to pack up and leave. So then finally, with Rome at its lowest ebb in centuries -”.  You pause. You forgot to mention the Senate. They weren’t really important and you dozed off when the professor talked about them. But they did play a key role in the transition to the Commonwealth. “Ok, let me do some backtracking. There’s this body in the government of Rome called the Senate, and they had some power, but it was mostly over what kind of buildings to build or minority rights law to pass or stuff like that. Really, you get the feeling the emperors kept it around so they could keep the nobles occupied and not get bored and start a rebellion or something. Not that that helped with the Doukes, but well... Honestly the best way to sum them up is this quote by the last Doge of Venice.” You root around in your books until you find it.  “Ahem. ‘Oh, I knew there were rumblings in the Byzantine Senate about seizing Venice, of course. But nearly every conceivable policy— and quite a few inconceivable ones— had its proponents in the halls of the Senate. There were senators who wanted to reconquer Rome. There were senators who wanted to convert to Islam. It was easy to write off the Senate as less a deliberative body and more a rattlebag of thoroughly unworkable ideas’. End quote.” “Wow. So why bring these guys up now, after all this?”   “Well the people of Rome get fed up with the constant disaster times and bring a literal cannon to blast open the doors of the Senate. They want the old bureaucracy gone. They want change now. So that’s how the Commonwealth of the Romans is born. The new and improved Roman army quickly brings Bulgaria back into the fold and Hypatia dies in 1631. The Deluge is finally over, after half a century.” “Well it wouldn’t be a good story if the Romans kept winning forever, would it?” Mr.Morgenstern fucked around with this message at 18:04 on Jan 1, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2020 10:06
|
|
|
 “Nope. Hypatia III is the next empress and she takes the reformed army out for a spin and beats up the Pope and his Church Militant. I mean, the Pope’s gold has mostly run out and silver’s displaced it as the currency of choice, but still."  "Nice." "She also marries - get this - a Ceska Lipa. The great slayers of empresses end up part of the royal family." "I guess they wanted to stab the empress a different way. Eh? Eh?" Your eyes roll into the back of your head.  "Anyways, after beating up the pope, she goes to war with Da Qin. However, she dies in 1642 while the war still rages."  "Rest in peace." "Next up is Alexios III, who finishes the war with Da Qin, taking back some land lost in the Deluge. His war with Yilang doesn't go as well and they sign a white peace. He is, however, able to defeat the Pope and take back central Italy.   By 1666, Rome is finally restored to the Romans, though they’ve gone from being a superpower to a middling one in the meantime.   But back to Alexios III. He also brings Crete back into the Roman fold before dying in 1671.” “Neat.”  “Alexios IV, who follows his immediate namesake, is a bit of a nasty character. As in he almost definitely killed his sister, as well as his father.  He’ll be brought to justice, but not before continuing a war with France, which ends in a white peace. France is also in a war with the HRE, more or less crushes it, and then beheads the last German Habsburg. He also manages to forge an alliance with the Ming, which proves useful for his immediate successors. And then Alexios is arrested and removed from office in 1680. They eventually behead him in 1686, when his daughter reaches majority.” “Geez. Violent time for monarchs.”  “Yeah, but since the next in line for the throne is a little too young, the Lords Commissioners take charge of the state for the next six years. They do alright, finally reclaiming the last bit of Anatolia from Da Qin.  They cede the reins of the state to Julia in 1686, following the aforementioned death of Alexios IV.”  “Nice to see the regency went well.” “Julia’s a bit interesting. She fights against Yilang and takes northern Anatolia from them. But the thing she’s most famous for is the Great Roman Revolution of 1702. It lasts for ten long years and there’s been a long standing rumor that she and Juno Koca, one of the revolutionaries, were lovers of some sort. It sounds like something out of a pulp novel, but it’s entirely plausible.”   “I only know about this from Anita Andretti and the Roman Reliquary. You know, the one with the woman who claims to be the descendent of a girl Juno and Julia raised, and thus had a claim to the throne and the presidency? And she was going to blow up the government and make herself the Lady Protector of the Republic?”  “Honestly I think Roman Reliquary is one of the worst Anita Andretti novels, and I don’t recall any record of any child they raised together. But yeah, Julia seems to be in a sorrowful mood after the revolution is crushed. She fights a war against the French and Poles in defense of Russia, which ends in a white peace. I think the most interesting war she was a part of was probably the one she fights alongside the Ayiti. You know, the great empire across the Atlantic. They both have a common enemy in Lai Ang, since Lai Ang controlled portions of the Black Sea and some portions of North Avalon. And also had Da Qin in a personal union.  She dies in 1724 and this marks the end of the Radziwiłł dynasty, as her sister had predeceased her.  The next dynasty is, get this, our old friends the Yaroslavoviches.”  “Wow.” “Yep, after all those years they finally come back to take the throne. No personal union with Russia, though she does replace the Roman Commonwealth’s flag with one extolling her dynasty. Her advisors eventually convince her to tone it down.   The Byzantines haven’t done an awful lot for the Ming in the course of their alliance, so the Ming break it off soon after Justine takes power.  Justine then gets herself involved in a war between Lithuania and Russia. The Lithuanians and the Romans are going to be foes for a while. Unfortunately for Russia, their army is in such shambles that even Roman aid doesn’t save them from having to concede territory.   She also helps Scandinavia against the British and at least wins that war. Around the same time, a funny thing happens. Cyprus is returned to Rome after a century and a half without a shot fired. Somalia had gotten in a war with Zimbabwe and Zimbabwe crushed them, hard. So hard that the Zimbabwians were able to dictate that Somalia surrender its Mediterrean islands. So Cyprus goes to Rome and Rhodes goes to - I am not making this up - a Komnenos.”   “Holy poo poo. They somehow managed to find some Komnenos somewhere and - hold on. Is this the Rhodes that’s going to appear in Anita Andretti and the Colossus of Rhodes?” “Yes, it is, but Colossus doesn’t take place in this time period. Moving on, Rome also fights against the small city state of Siena and wins. Meanwhile, across the other side of Asia, a revolution breaks out in Japan, leading to the birth of modern Republicanism. Right now this isn’t exactly important for Rome, but in a few decades it definitely will be.  Anyways, Rome helps Ayiti against Lai Ang and Scandinavia against the Brits again, wins both, and gets into another war with Yilang, during which Justine dies in 1760.” “So who’s next?”  “Next is Anna, whose reign is ominously marked by the invention of the Hiratine, brainchild of Manto Hira. ‘A more civilized means of execution for a more civilized age’, my professor said. You probably remember all that stuff in school about the Dangers of Republicanism and the Endless Maw of Madame Hiratine.”  “I think I slept through most of that stuff, Ingrid. Learning about history is a lot more interesting from you than learning it from Mr. Dvořák in sixth grade. Bastard tried to smack me with a ruler once and I punched him in the face. Mom and Dad got pretty mad about it. But anyways, what about Empress Anna?” “Anna leads the Byzantines to victory over Yilang and takes back Azerbaijan. After that, she gets involved in a war helping uh, I can never pronounce this right, Asitelahan against the French and their allies. The Romans win pretty handily and also get rid of the Pope while they’re at it. After over a thousand years, the Papal States are eradicated. The Pope goes straight to the Hiratine. The Church Militant is eradicated for good.”   “Huh, I always had an idea that at some point the Papacy left Italy, but I never knew when it did.” “In the meantime, on the other side of the planet, Revolutionary Japan is almost eliminated by the catholic Kamakura shogunate. It’ll be up to not-Rome to take up that mantle, soon enough.  “Anyways, Anna dies in 1771 and Trajan III takes over.  He finishes off the war to help Asitehalan against Crimea, which results in a huge sum of money flowing from France’s coffers into Rome’s, and the Romans even nab Liguria from them as well.  At this point, the once terrifying state of Yilang gets entangled in India and gets its rear end handed to it by the Marathas, who establish themselves as the premier power of the subcontinent, though they’ll soon be challenged by Hindustan in the east.   But that’s not for a few more years. After that Rome beat up Lai Ang alongside the Ayiti for the third time and cajoles a province out of them after the war was won. Then Trajan III dies in 1782, nine years after he first ascended to the throne.”  “Seems like he was a decent sort. What a shame.” “So next up is Ariadne, who fights a few wars and crushes a rebellion in Constantinople, but starts the downward spiral of Empresses and Emperors getting murdered violently, since she gets murdered by her daughter Valeria IV in 1789. Although there’s some historians who claim that actually started with her killing her brother, Trajan III.”   “We’re coming up to the final part of the Empire, aren’t we? The Yaroslavoviches murdering each other left and right.” “Yep. Valeria IV fights a war with Lai Ang and gets some provinces in eastern Italy for her trouble, as well as getting involved in another war with Lithuania. Then she gets killed by Alexios V in 1801, who first killed his sister to inherit the throne.”    “Hang on, I’ve heard of this guy, he was in Casket of Cagliari.” “Yep. He didn’t assume the throne at first, the Lords Commissioners ruled for a bit before he came along. The thing about Alexios the Black is that he thought of loans as free money and did not care how many he took.  He quickly depletes the treasury and racks up a massive debt fighting a bunch of wars, including some with Russia and Da Qin. He also publicly declares the existence of the Black Chamber and uses them as his personal terror squad. The thing about being called the Black? That wasn’t a posthumous nickname given to him. He gave himself that name.  Shortly into this reign of terror, the people of Rome get fed up with their wayward Emperors and Empresses and rise up against Alexios. And this time, the Revolution won’t be crushed. As Alexios burns through more and more loans, the Revolutionary Army grows and grows.    They storm Constantinople and plunder the historical archives of the Black Chamber. Eventually, Alexios’ own army gets sick of delayed payments and constant fighting, and hands him over to the Revolutionaries to be executed. And he’s dragged off to the hiratine and executed in 1807. The Roman Empire, after over one and a half millennia, comes to an end.”   “Wow. What a way to end. It does sound like the Casket of Cagliari took some liberties though. Like that part where Alexios the Black reveals he’s been kept alive all these years via secret Black Chamber alchemy and it was an imposter the Republic killed. Hang on, is it me or do the half the Anita Andretti novels have the villain trying to overthrow the Republic and restore the Empire?” “Well, I think it reflects to some extent the old anxiety among the people of Byzantium that the French were going to come in and restore the monarchy, which would then enact a reign of terror upon the populace. I mean, at the time the Anita Andretti novels were published, the idea of France doing that was laughable, but all the old anxieties just didn’t disappear, and I think Anita Andretti tapped into that for its villains.” “I guess you’re right. So what did happen to the Black Chamber after all this? You think they just disappeared?” “The big theory I’ve heard is that they just got absorbed into the larger French intelligence apparatus. If anyone’s still calling themselves the Black Chamber, it’s probably some bored nobles or something.” “Aw man. So much for my theory about the Black Chamber being involved in the fascist stuff.” “Out goes the Roman Empire and in comes in the Byzantine Republic. The first President is Noor Sajeller, who for years tries to stabilize things as the Republic works to undo the damage Alexios has done.    After her retirement in 1815 comes a few Presidents who honestly didn’t do a lot of interesting things besides the occasional war. The only one I find really interesting is Aphrodite de Bassot, whose campaign against Yilang completely humiliates it. She carts off the old Sultan and declares Yilang will be reorganized as the Iranian Republic, and that’s what it’s been since. Yilang, once the terror of the Empire, is now reduced to a Byzantine client state. She gets into another war with Lai Ang and that’s about it for the Early Modern Era.   Next up: the Victorian Era.”   “Excuse me, Ingrid, I’ve got to take care of something real quick.” There is a long and painful silence at the other side. When Viktorie comes back, she’s cursing under her breath. “Is everything all right, Viktorie?” “It’s fine. Just a false alarm. Keep on going. I want to know why the Poles think they have a loving chance in heaven of coming out of all of this fine.” You’re a little alarmed at the tone she’s using. You clear your throat. “From 1827 to 1831, the world is rocked by coups, failed coups, rebellions, and the dreaded Carib flu, but Byzantium manages to escape those. Samuel Pytheid is denied his second term in 1831, but in a republic that’s perfectly fine. He’s replaced by Turhan Torahan, a Turkish war hero, whose military experience is about to come in real handy.  You see, the first half of the Victorian era is defined by Byzantium’s rivalry with France and later on, the Ming. France at this point in time is THE superpower of Europe. When the First War of the Victorian League rolls around, it only needs Poland on its side to fight Byzantium, Lai Ang, Great Britain, Lithuania, and the Holy Roman Empire. I mean, technically Portugal is on its side too.”   “You know, I’ve heard about Portugal on the news sometimes, but I looked everywhere on a map of Europe and couldn’t find it.” “Oh, Portugal is some relic of the medieval era that got pushed out of Europe by Lai Ang, so they’re in exile on the Azores. They had a little colony in Africa but in the last few decades I think they sold it to Silla. And then their government went fascist. Maybe they think Valeria will give them some land in Iberia? Back to the First War of the Victorian League. It starts when Poland gets in a skirmish with Lithuania, and a series of diplomatic ties pull the entirety of Europe into one big brawl.” “loving Poles.” “So the war lasts for nine grueling years, even past the end of Torahan’s term in office in 1839, but at the end of the day France, Poland, and sidekick Portugal can’t fight all of Europe by themselves.  The Holy Roman Empire gets a lot of land back, England gets land back, Lai Ang gets land back, and Austria gets some land back. The Holy Roman Empire returns to the world stage via Byzantium and Britain knocking France around for spare provinces. If you ever hear about Valeria giving speeches about the NGF being ‘the Frankenstein of Europe’ - and if you say ‘actually it’s Frankenstein’s monster’, I will come over to the border and punch you in the face - she’s talking about how the NGF came about from the dismembered parts of France. At least that’s how the French see it. The Germans just see it as them getting back their rightful land, of course.” “I don’t think you mentioned it, but didn’t France take a lot of land off of the HRE back in the Early Modern?” “Yeah, they did. But back to the Victorian era. It’s now Evgenia Kasdaglis’ term, and she’s the lady who oversees the end of the War of the Victorian League. In the aftermath of that, Ukraine gets annexed by Russia and Manchuria gets annexed by China. In the last part of her term in office, the Republic gets involved in another war with Poland when the HRE attacks them, as the Republic has decided to support the HRE in its endeavors, as a counterweight to France.    She was voted out in 1842 and was replaced by uh, not sure if I’m pronouncing this right, Athanasios Mavromihalis.” “I think you probably pronounced that right.” “Well anyways, the Republic gets involved with a war with Russia, which mostly results in the creation of Armenia and frankly I don’t know what happened to that afterwards. They also conclude the war with Poland and nab Pomerania off them for the HRE.”  “Huh.” “There’s also a huge revolt in Sicily at this point, and that rebellion’s the seed of source of major unrest to this day. The Socialist Irenicists also pop up for the first time around then? They seemed like alright folks. There’s also a big reactionary revolt in Byzantium proper, trying to restore the old empire or something.”  “Yeah I hear there’s going to be an Anita Andretti prequel set during that rebellion. Honestly, I don’t think there should be prequels. They should have just ended the series at Jaguar of Jaragua, but I guess they gotta print more money.”  “There is also a war against Da Qin, during which the Republic grabs Ankara from them, and Mavromihalis retires in 1850. He is replaced by Georgiana Sapoutizakis and she has to lead the Republic during the Second War of the Victorian League. France swaps out Poland for Russia and Silla, and Portugal for New Bulgaria.   In the end, however, the Republic wins and France is forced to give up Franconia and New Bulgaria has to give up its southern half to the Republic.  Following that, there’s a diplomatic crisis over the Rheinland and at the end of that crisis the HRE gets that too, since France decides it isn’t in a position to tackle all of Europe again. The HRE takes Westfalen from Holland after that too.  But probably the biggest diplomatic change of that period was Asitelahan joining the Ming wholesale, which put China’s sphere of influence right at the Republic's doorstep.  There’s yet another war against Poland, where a little microstate called the Krakow Republic gets carved out of Poland. And finally the HRE continues to carve out territory from France, getting the Eastern Rheinland and Westfalen."  "Wow, the HRE is expanding fast." "Yeah, the Republic's little pet project of empowering Germany at the expense of France is going quite well. France is getting its rear end kicked and there's a major reshuffling of power domestically. A group of four industrial dukes, known as the Machine Dukes, rise to power.  There's also a considerable change in diplomacy, as the Ming are alarmed by the rapid rise of the Republic and its allies. France and the Ming sign a treaty, just in time for the Third War of the Victorian League.   Everyone in the Republic panics over the Ming storming Constantinople. After all, the last time the Ming sent an army out west it changed the course of European history. Unfortunately for the French, the Ming army is bogged down in Hindustan, far away from where the Byzantines are blasting the French.  So the war ends with France having to yet again give up territory to the HRE.  At this point, the HRE has grown so much that it no longer needs the patronage of the Byzantines. The Byzantines finish off Siena as well, since they’re really not fans of independent Italian principalities.”  “Geez, no wonder the French hate the Germans and Byzantines so much. It just seems they got constantly clowned on by the two of them.” “Oh yeah, at this point, France starts to go into freefall. It’s like the Deluge, except France is playing the role of Byzantium.  Sapoutizakis ends up dying in battle in 1860 and Leonidas Apostolakis takes charge, since he’s her vice president. His administration sees the rise of the Socialist and Anarcho-Liberal parties, oh, and China making up its mind to put the Byzantines properly in their place.   His administration is not looked upon fondly by historians. I guess at least he was kinda hot. So anyways, China’s still fuming over being forced to go home without reaching the Byzantines after the Third War of the Victorian League. So they declare war themselves and send a massive army west to teach the Byzantines a lesson.  The Byzantines put up a good fight, but all their non-client allies from the last few wars don’t stand by them, and China’s army is just too large for them to handle. They do finish off New Bulgaria as a consolation prize, though.   With the army in shambles and Byzantium conceding a containment war to the Ming, Apostolakis finishes his first and only term in 1865, to be replaced by Reyhan Hamzaoğlu.”  “Good grief.” “With Byzantium humiliated by the Ming, some of the Byzantine citizenry look around and think, ‘gee, maybe this republic thing isn’t working out for us. Maybe we should get a monarch like the Ming!’  So they do what clearly makes a lot of sense and figure out what monarch last had a claim on the throne and isn’t like a Russian or Frenchman. I mean, they weren’t going that far. Remember how I told you the Komnenoi returned to the scene in the most insane fashion possible? Someone looks on a map and finds Rhodes and thinks ‘huh, their ruler is a Komnenos, he’s a monarch, and he’s Greek. He’s perfect!”  “No loving way.” “Yeah, so almost half of the Republic throws its support behind some guy on an island that hasn’t seen contact with the outside world in centuries, while the other half stands with Constantinople.  The Republic triumphs - no doubt in part due to Anita Andretti blowing up Kaisarios Komnenos’ massive steam powered colossus before he could use it to turn the tide of the war.”  Viktorie lets out a good chuckle. “Hamzaoğlu has one last interesting thing happen in her administration: the rise of Pangalism, you know, the guys who say that the Free Market should literally dictate everything.  She retires in 1870, and is replaced by Kazimir Duvnjak. You probably know about this time period a bit more since European Baseball League was created during this time, co-founded by Philomon Anatolikos.   Speaking of, I’ve been meaning to ask you since you’re the baseball expert in the family: what’s up with the Kiev Surfers’ name?” “Oh, that. Well you see, the Crown Prince of Russia was on a diplomatic mission to the Haida and during that trip he went to the Hawaiian Islands, where they showed him one of the local customs, surfing. He was dying to try it out himself and he absolutely loved it. It also made huge news back in Russia, seeing the prince surfing, and when he got back and people were wondering what to call the new baseball team, he asked they be named the Surfers. And they’ve been called that ever since.” “Cool! I’ve always wanted to know! Now, back to Duvnjak. His first administration is marked by two seperate HRE wars where it continues to expand with Byzantine help, finally unifying Germany. I say his first administration since it’s interrupted by the election of Valeria Allegri in 1874. Her administration heralds what’s called the Scramble for Africa, where all those big wig powers start salivating for those sweet sweet African resources.   Communism also starts rearing its head around this time, but the revolution isn’t coming for a decade or so. There was another inevitable war with Poland but honestly it wasn’t very significant. What was more significant was the HRE giving up its pretensions to Rome and reforming as a united Germany, under the name of the Habsburg Monarchy.”  “The Poles got knocked around a lot, I guess. Too bad for them.” “What a pity. So Duvnjak gets reelected in 1879, just in time for Byzantium to pile in on colonizing things. Except a lot of people didn’t like the whole “conquering people just to get their stuff” aspect and they made Kenya a colonial dominion so they could tell the folks back home they were being nice to the natives.  The last big thing was, oh yeah, Pangalist revolutionaries overthrowing the Holy Roman Empress and executing her via hiratine. And that’s how the North German Federation was born. Johannes Goethe rose to power as Kazike of the NGF and freaked everyone out. Germany wasn’t going to be Constantinople’s faithful attack dog anymore.”   “Yeah, I remember hearing about the Vile Revolutionaries and how the Fair Empress was delivered to Madame Hiratine. If I recall correctly, the Vile Revolutionaries are about to strike again.” “Yeah, they are, but first, um, I have no idea if I’m pronouncing this correctly, but Konstantinos Hadjiapostolou is elected in 1883, but a massive Communist revolt breaks out in Byzantium.  Ol’ Konstantinos doesn’t have the heart to order the army to gun down his fellow citizens, and the revolutionary Valentinos Spyromilios takes power in 1884.  He rules for about a month before he’s dealt with by his fellow revolutionaries, on account of having dictatorial tendencies.  There’s a huge meeting of communists from around the world and they all decide to a) elect Evgenia Exterberria as Tribune and b) rename Constantinople to Byzantion, because the Roman Empire sucked and whatnot. A bunch of people also report having the same weird dream about horrible things happening.”  “I don’t need dreams to know horrible things are happening, I just have to read the paper.” “Well, I’m sure they were just drunk on too much ouzo or something. Anyways, Evgenia Exteberria creates the modern Byzantine social welfare state. The Byzantines love to go on about how she molded the commune, but in terms of wars and stuff there’s not a lot happening in her administration, she’s too busy securing the commune’s progress. Though she does release Byzantium’s African colonies as dominions. She also had a pretty active post-politics life, seeing as she gave advice to a lot of Tribunes after her.”   “Yeah, I think they published some of her letters in a book in the past year or two.” “So Ginerva Paladini is elected Tribune in 1889 and her administration sees a lot of crazy stuff. Ferrara gets annexed by the Byzantines and the Commune gets into another war with Russia, though honestly these tended to be one-sided massacres. The Russians as far as we can tell didn’t really bother to give their soldiers proper artillery support. Warfare is changing and the Russians aren’t catching up. Haven’t to this day, really. The NGF and Great Britain clash and the Commune sends its forces to India to help the Marathas.   Did you know we had Philomon Anatolikos come to our class to speak? He’s super old but he’s still full of energy. He was supposed to talk about his relationship with Goethe, but all I really got from it was that Goethe was crazy and horses are the literal worst. The Byzantines also get in a war with Lombardy but the little Italian minors don’t really stand a chance against the Commune. France briefly flirts with socialism, but generally remains liberal.   And while the Commune has been preparing for a showdown with the forces of Capitalism unshackled, Goethe gets on his boat, hits an iceberg, and loving dies. The NGF is overthrown by communists shortly thereafter.”  “Yeah, the Titanomachy. I think they’re going to make a movie about it.” "So the Byzantines are super pumped about a new Communist government to be allies with, on account of it being the first large one after their own, but it turns out that this new Mueller guy isn't exactly a pleasant ruler."  "Yeah, one of the officers here is a German expat. He's got stories about how people just disappeared when Mueller was in charge. He's not exactly fond of the Byzantines either. He's convinced they were in on it." "Yeah the Byzzies send a large expeditionary force to Germany, officially to suppress 'counter-revolutionary forces'. There’s actually apparently more than a bit of friction between Byzantion and Mueller over his methods."  "Yeah, the Byzantines say they don't like Muellerism, but look who they've brought into that Red Rose Pact of theirs. Lithuania and Hungary aren't nice places to live. Makes you wonder if the endgame of all Communism is just Muellerism." "Well, I think that's a little debatable, but we're getting a little ahead of ourselves here. Bogomil Milenov is elected Tribune in 1899, and he’s the guy who sent the troops into Germany. Also Victorias III and IV of Great Britain die at this point. Kinda weird to have two monarchs drop dead one right after the other, but I think it was just bad luck. Milenov also sends troops to the Marathas to help them against Hindustan.  Oh yeah, and this was when Fascists started popping up. The whole cult of Valeria was still quite a ways away though. There’s also a pretty massive war between the Ming and a loose alliance between the Marathas, the Byzantines, Mueller’s NGF and Great Britain, but it’s ultimately inconsequential.  And then it turns out that even Byzantion's help isn't enough to save Mueller when the German people get sick of his rear end in a top hat ways, and his government is overthrown.  Of course before he’s really kicked out, the Great War happens."   "Oh boy, that reminds me of this officer I heard about. Older guy. He got sent as an observer to the Great War and according to the guys before me, he came back with one hell of a thousand-yard stare. First thing he did after King Vladan made him an officer was to tell the King that Bohemia was never to use chemical weapons. Ever. My friend told me that one night he got super drunk and went into this long story about the Great War. About how he saw fields of dead bodies, with the unfortunate still-living mixed among them. He found this poor Haida soldier still choking on her own blood. Didn't have any other choice but to put her out of her misery. Pretty sure the only reason he stays in the military is yell at anyone who looks like they might possibly suggest using chemical weapons."   "Well, it's no doubt that the Byzantines used massive amounts of chlorine and mustard gas to advance across the Haida trenches. It didn't mean much in the end though. No matter how many corpse-fields the Byzantines made of the Haida and Ayiti, they couldn't press forward. Once the Haida developed gas masks, it was pretty much over for the Byzantines."   "So why did the Great War break out?" "Some border dispute in North Avalon, if I remember correctly. In the wake of the Great War, the Byzantine war machine was utterly spent.  But Milenov doesn't have to deal with that. He is replaced by Antonia Cavinato in 1909, who has to face the full political damage of the war. As part of the peace treaty, the Commune is forced to cut its army down to a few elite regiments. It's a humiliating experience for the Byzantines.   Just in time for - guess who? -Valeria."  "Hmph. Did I ever tell about our own little Valeria a couple years back?" "I think you mentioned some weird demagogue named Valeria, but I didn't understand the significance of the name." "Yeah, showed up at the base one day and started talking about the glorious heritage of Rome and how we were part of a great heritage of defending civilization against Eastern degeneracy. But honestly if we wanted to be part of some other country we would have stayed with Hungary. Not to mention she got embarrassed and left when one of my squaddies recognized her from his village. I guess she wasn't the Imperium's finest. Actually, aren't we getting to the point where the Liberation War happens?"  "Yep, I don't really need to explain this next part. We learned all about it in primary school, not to mention Dad telling us about how he and his buddies fought off an entire Hungarian battalion. Pretty sure he was exaggerating that part. I think Mom and Dad met at the victory celebrations and you were born nine months later. Hang on, is that why you're named-" "Keep going, Ingrid." "Uh, where was I, oh yeah. So also during this time period Ireland, the one bastion of peace in Europe, gets ripped apart by civil war. The Germans and Poles get into a war, but nothing really comes out of it. For the most part, Cavinato takes the money that would be going into the army and spends it on the social welfare network. And when the Fascists take over Ferrera, the Treaty Army storms the country and throws them out. And that's it for Cavinato.”   "Huh, seems she didn't do a bad job of fixing the country. Shame about the whole ‘using chemical weapons’ thing." "Well the Byzantines aren't going to use them anymore, they banned them shortly after the Great War. Yiannis Drymonakos is elected in 1919 and leads the annexation of Milan. This is also when the Second Great War happens and this time it's a great victory for the Byzantines, who learnt their lesson from the last Great War. They install a Socialist government in the Ayiti Republic-"   "Yeah that hot guy leads it now. First time I ever saw a politician's picture in one of my girls' bunks." "Uh yeah, I guess he is kinda cute. Afterwards the Byzantines create the Red Rose Pact, an international alliance of communists and socialists. In what may or may not be a coincidence, Zhang Zhulin becomes de facto Pangalist dictator of China. How weird. The Muellerists take over Hungary and the Byzantines send a few divisions to stop Ireland from having a new government every two years. We ended the class at 1930, when Iouliana Erdemir was elected Tribune."   "Let's hear it for the Byzantines not using horrible weapons. Anyways, a bunch of stuff has gone down in the last few years, hasn't it? There was a huge revolt in Sicily,  the Fascists executed the king of France, took over,   and absolutely destroyed the Germans in the lightning war.  The Poles attacked the Germans and got slapped down for it. Lai Ang threw in their lot with-" The line goes dead. You try to reconnect, but nothing works. A sense of dread fills you. A few minutes later, church bells start ringing. Oh God. You turn on the radio. It's King Vladan's voice.  "I regret to inform all of you that we are now in a state of war with Poland. Only a few minutes ago, artillery shells began falling on our side of the borders. Our forces are holding, but we would like everyone who can to support our armed men and women to the best of their ability. To King Stanislaus, who I know is listening. You are a fool. You have come to believe that the Fascists have thrown you a rope with which you can pull yourself out of the sea. It is merely the rope they will hang you with.  Rest assured that when they grow tired of you, the same will happen to you as your brother Valois-Vexin in France. As your brother monarch, I thought you might listen to me, but now all I have to say is that for every Bohemian you kill, we will kill ten Poles. To those of you on the outside world: It is us today.  It will be you tomorrow." Mr.Morgenstern fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Jan 1, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2020 10:07
|
|
|
So it begins.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2020 12:18
|
|
|
 Thanks for this recap!
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2020 23:36
|
|
|
how did i not notice this was back until now? VERY excited
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2020 00:28
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2020 00:52
|
|
|
What exactly is the religious situation? Looks like everyone was Sunni at the end of EUIV and nothing was mentioned about it.
|
|
#
?
Jan 2, 2020 17:18
|
|
|
And so it begins.
|
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2020 10:42
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 7, 2024 14:50 |
|
|
Jedi Knight Luigi posted:What exactly is the religious situation? Looks like everyone was Sunni at the end of EUIV and nothing was mentioned about it. For Byzantium, specifically, is a religious melting pot. The three largest religious groups are the Catholics (still prevalent in densely-populated Italy, since even when the empire was still standing there wasn't much of a push to convert Italy), Orthodox Christianity (still dominant in Greece, the Balkans, and the more Greek bits of the Anatolian coast, and probably also having still having a patina of being the Byzantine religion even if it hasn't been the state religion since Alexios V got his head chopped off) and Sunni Islam (centered in Anatolia, especially the interior, which has had a large Turkish and Greco-Turkish population dating back to the Sultanate of Rum, but also other communities like a Hui Muslim minority in that bit of Istria we took from Austria a million years ago, or expat communities from Somalia or wherever in the larger cities). There's a long-established Jewish community throughout the Commune, mostly composed of Mizrahi who've been around since the middle ages, augmented by later migration from the wider Jewish world because the Byzantine Empire had a reputation for internal religious tolerance, especially after the Edict of Athens. There's still some Gallicans and Bogomilists kicking around from the Reformation, although far less than there were in their early-modern heyday, and of course numerous other minorities-- some of the Pechenegs are still Tengri, for example. For the world at large: Sunni Islam is maybe a little more prevalent than it is in OTL, mostly as a consequence of a.) the reconquista stalling out, b.) the Ming Frontier Army, and c.) the Shiites having a really rough go of it in CK2. The MFA was largely secular in policy, but a lot of its leadership and soldiers were drawn from China's Hui minority, which meant that the ruling class left behind in a lot of the successor states like Lai Ang/Leon, or revolter states like Ao Di Li/Austria were Sunni, which led to an enduring Sunni presence in, like, south Germany or central Europe or wherever. Lai Ang, in turn, exported its Orthodox-Sunni-Andalusian-Spanish-Chinese melting pot to its colonies in Avalon, like Zheng He Bay, Tianhui Catalina, or Nuevo Xi'an. Shia Islam is most prevalent in Egypt, but the Somalis who've ruled it for centuries are mostly Sunni. Great Britain, Ireland, and the NGF are dominated by Catholicism, France is still nominally Gallican, and Orthodoxy remains prevalent in the rest of Europe, especially Russia and Scandinavia. But that's broad, broad, broad strokes-- the religious situation through all three games so far has been very messy, and sprawling multi-ethnic and multi-faith supernational states have been the name of the game for most of that time, so pretty much nowhere on Earth is religiously monolithic at this point. Empress Theonora fucked around with this message at 06:36 on Feb 1, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 3, 2020 22:38
|
|