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Zuul the Cat posted:Hey OP, you should probably start small and work your way up if you want to make a change. I found this neat little blog post a few years back and it really helped me. Thanks; I read the blogpost and the rundown of the book she linked but it seems to be that "throw everything you own in the garbage" type guides which I am not interested in at all. I honestly don't have anything I am comfortable with throwing out right now, or else I would have thrown it away years ago.
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Dec 17, 2019 20:54
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WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:Thanks; I read the blogpost and the rundown of the book she linked but it seems to be that "throw everything you own in the garbage" type guides which I am not interested in at all. I honestly don't have anything I am comfortable with throwing out right now, or else I would have thrown it away years ago. No offense, but this is borderline hoarder mentality. You have plenty of stuff you could (and likely should) throw away; we all do. You need to figure out why you are uncomfortable doing so.
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Dec 17, 2019 21:07
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1redflag posted:No offense, but this is borderline hoarder mentality. You have plenty of stuff you could (and likely should) throw away; we all do. You need to figure out why you are uncomfortable doing so. Because it's pretty much a guarantee I will need/want it at some point in the future and I don't want to have to re-buy it
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Dec 17, 2019 22:27
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[quote="WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" post="500883366"] Not everything has a spot. Stuff I need to return to the store/online, a book I am going to start reading soon, broken toy I've been meaning to fix, something I leave out because I want to give it to a friend the next time I visit them but don't want to forget, etc. Hey man I'm gonna try and write a genuine response in these shitpost filled forums, since I know the struggle with being a slob at some point in my life. I'm lucky enough that my mom drilled some pretty basic principles into my brain to keep a cozy, clean and enjoyable home: - Don't put stuff away, put it away - Clean stuff when it gets dirty, don't wait for it to be clean. It won't. - You didn't use this thing for a while, I threw it away, it was just using up space. While annoying as a teen living at home, they kinda worked over the years. If you don't have a space to put the stuff away to, make some, or get rid of it. Clean stuff after you used it. Tools, plates, whatever. And if you didn't use the stuff in a while, you'll mostly not use it again in a while more. There's exceptions like rarely used tools, clothes you only wear to for specials occasions, etc. But honestly you don't actually need a lot of the things around you, and getting rid of stuff you're sure you won't need to in the future is quite cathargic to boot.
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Dec 17, 2019 22:49
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WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:Because it's pretty much a guarantee I will need/want it at some point in the future and I don't want to have to re-buy it 1redflag posted:No offense, but this is borderline hoarder mentality. You have plenty of stuff you could (and likely should) throw away; we all do. You need to figure out why you are uncomfortable doing so.
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Dec 17, 2019 22:53
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gary oldmans diary posted:i think ive got time for a quick wank before i stop procrastinating once and for all did you not read anything I posted? If you must throw yourelf from the wank cliff then do so with speed, and then throw yourself from the cleaning cliff. I don't wanna hear snarky poo poo about my metaphors either
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Dec 17, 2019 22:58
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Get an adderall prescription. I'm not even kidding. I would just go on cleaning binges at the start. This probably wired my brain to associate cleaning with pleasure (it releases dopamine so it can do this with basically anything) such that I'm on average cleaner and neater even when the drug is not actively in my system. Who What Now posted:Get a really fastidious boyfriend/girlfriend. They'll give you're apartment a deep clean before they break up with you. Nice one, fleabag
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Dec 17, 2019 23:13
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WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:Thanks; I read the blogpost and the rundown of the book she linked but it seems to be that "throw everything you own in the garbage" type guides which I am not interested in at all. I honestly don't have anything I am comfortable with throwing out right now, or else I would have thrown it away years ago. That's fine if you don't want to throw it out yet - but you should take her advice and at least organize the mess so there's some method to it. Once you have it tidied up, you can try & make gains in tossing some of it.
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Dec 17, 2019 23:13
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OP, I think you should think about speaking with a therapist or a doctor. Jay_Zombie fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Dec 17, 2019 |
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Dec 17, 2019 23:27
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Jay_Zombie posted:OP, I think you should think about speaking with a therapist or a doctor. This is the best idea.
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Dec 17, 2019 23:56
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I’m the opposite, like minimalist. I threw away my high school jacket, pretty much everything I have is less than 15 years of age. I don’t know if I have my high school senior yearbook. I threw out all my books from 20 years of working in my field when I had to move to home office. Didn’t blink. Lots more too. Except my truck lol. It’s old. My wife, other end. Keeps buying more and more and more. Kitchen gadgets, Facebook finds, etsy electronic candle burners of some sort. We get 2 boxes a day min at the door. It’s a point of tension that she has so much crap stacked up. It’s all neatly done, but still crap in the corner, storage rooms, etc. I don’t have a picture or anything hanging in my bathroom, for twenty years. And that’s. Ok
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Dec 18, 2019 00:22
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 seems we got ourselfs a classic "goon in a well" thread here boys
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Dec 18, 2019 01:15
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WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:This is really good advice. The only thing I am not going to follow is the "once you haven't touched it for a year throw it away" thing because I have a lot of stuff that I've dug up from 5+ years ago that completely saved my rear end. Like, I haven't used my USB floppy drive in probably 5 years but lo-and-behold just the other day I actually needed it for something. Following your advice means I would have had to not only spend ~$40 on a new one but also wait for a few days for it to come in the mail, when it was pretty urgent when I needed it. This is what makes me a bit of a packrat. The problem with being a packrat and gradually transitioning over into hoarding is that for every piece of garbage you have that later turns out to be useful, you have 100 and then 1000 other bits of potentially useful junk. And I question what could be on an ancient floppy disk that was that urgent. quote:Another case-in-point: I don't watch DVDs any more (I ripped them all to my computer server and just use Plex on all my TVs) so I had like 300 DVDs taking up a ton of space in my home. I gave them all to a friend of mine who doesn't have wi-fi internet (he's cheap) because I knew he would appreciate it. Then literally a week later (after hoarding these DVDs for 15 years) I am watching Home Alone and there is a scene that it's killing me to know how they filmed it (the scene where the car is an inch away from hitting Kevin's face). So for the first time in my life I wanna watch a movie with audio commentary and guess what? None of the movie rips include it. So now I sort of regret giving the DVDs to my friend. I'll just end up asking him to loan it back to me for a bit (or maybe all of them, and then I'll rip the audio commentaries and give them back to him) but you can see why I am constantly apprehensive about getting rid of stuff. It almost always bites me in the rear end, and often times it does it like IMMEDIATELY after I get rid of it. I can think of literally dozens of times in my life where this has happened. This is a sign that you should seek therapy because getting so obsessed over a trivial thing that you're wasting your time over it is nuts. You work 15 hours a day, use your spare time more wisely.
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Dec 18, 2019 01:46
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Put weekly alarms on your phone like "Time to clean game room" and "Clean out the car trash". Also, put a trash bag in your car. It's gross to throw thrash everywhere. Also, we're going to have to see pictures of you throwing your goddamn floppies for god's sake.
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Dec 18, 2019 02:56
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You said the 15 hour work days aren't the issue because of weekends but gently caress dude, I feel like the whole weekend would just be recovering from the work week and hanging out with wife and friends since there would be no time during the week. I think that makes it all the more important to take those small daily 3-second routines like putting dirty clothes in a basket or hamper, keeping a single "stuff" surface instead of everywhere (that gets reviewed weekly), trash/junk bins that also get tossed frequently, etc.
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Dec 18, 2019 03:05
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The Home Alone commentary was just a small example. I was able to find a "pirated" MP3 of the commentary online, but it made me want to watch the commentaries of all the movies I just gave away. It wasn't just for that one scene. None of the stuff that I refuse to throw away has ever been not useful. I'm not keeping containers from Chinese restaurants. I'm talking major computer components, music poo poo, video game stuff; nothing I keep is worth less than $30. No, I don't have Funko pop poo poo on my shelves. A lot of it's video game consoles. All of my collection is digital so there's no actual video game boxes taking up room on my shelves. Another really good example of something I will do is after a wedding or funeral I will just toss my suit in some corner of the bedroom. It will stay there literally until the next time someone dies or get married and then it's a mad rush to get it dry cleaned because my sloppy rear end couldn't be bothered to hang it up and now it's all wrinkled. But it's loving 3 o'clock in the morning and my feet are killing me and I just want to get to bed god drat it.
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Dec 18, 2019 04:59
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tell us more about your 15h/day job
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Dec 18, 2019 16:27
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SubnormalityStairs posted:tell us more about your 15h/day job I do computer repair work 8 hours a day then after that I go to my job working a retail gig. I was a slob when I was a teenager and had no job though so I'm not blaming it on my work hours.
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Dec 18, 2019 17:06
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Just imagine what other would people think of you if they were to see what filth you live in. If this doesn’t convince you to tidy up after yourself nothing will
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Dec 18, 2019 17:12
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WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:I do computer repair work 8 hours a day then after that I go to my job working a retail gig. Yes but you were also a teenager. Most teenagers are slobs, I think it's in the handbook somewhere. edit: working two jobs is absolutely limiting your ability to do other things, how is this even a debate
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Dec 18, 2019 17:17
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Fellow slob here. I'm always rushing to do something else and getting distracted and leaving things all over the place. I'm slowly working my way through it by way of building new habits and maximizing my downtime. Gotta stand around for a while and wait for something to dry or whatever? Use that time to gather up dishes, used clothes, garbage etc and just pick up/clean whatever you find around you. You don't have to do the full chore, but when the time comes to do actual cleaning, you've got a head start. Lots of little things over time take a big chunk out of the time spent deep cleaning. I like to vacuum/do dishes/fold laundry if I'm watching a show/tubes. I actually find it kinda relaxing. You might not. I don't let myself start a new project in the workshop until I've cleaned up all my tools and sweeped up the sawdust. Having OCD helps, seeing my workspace all clean and organized feels immensely satisfying once I actually will myself to do it. Try to get in the habit of bringing something that belongs there whenever you're going to a different room. I misplace my stuff all the time because I'll use it and then just put it down and forget about it. Then I'll see it when I don't need it and go "Oh yeah, there's where that went" and usually do nothing about it until I need it again whereupon I'll waste another half hour scouring the house trying to remember where I saw it. See something? Pick it up, bring it with you. A B C D Always Be Carrying Detritus. You don't have to take the garbage all the way down to the cans right away but at least take the bag out, tie it up and put it by the door so it's impossible to miss when you're going out. Blast some tunes. Have fun with it. Sing along at the top of your lungs. Pretend you're a rockstar cleaning his enormous mansion. Who cares if the neighbors see/hear you, this is still America, isn't it? Trust me, it's fun. You don't have to do what I do, just find what works for you and, if necessary, find ways to convince yourself to stay diligent. I like to make things into "challenges" for myself, the illusion of failure is a surprisingly good motivator. It takes a while but habits like these do get easier and easier over time and, as I get better at keeping them, the satisfaction and pride of a clean house helps me take the extra effort of just putting things back right away instead of leaving it lying around. It sounds like you're working quite a bit too. Don't forget that it's okay to rest when you're exhausted, even if you haven't done all the things yet. Burning out is only going to make things worse. e: For hoarding stuff, if you're hanging onto something for parts specifically (which I often do), then just rip out the parts you need and throw everything else in the garbage. Get a sorting system for your parts and your projects. Get some assortment boxes and a bunch of stackable plastic containers. If you've been washing and keeping plastic ice cream containers, now is their time to shine. Maybe you have a closet full of empty boxes from stuff you've bought. Put everything you're totally going to use later in clearly marked containers, put up a bigass shelf or two and just stack everything up there so it's out of the way but easy to get to once you actually need it. Get some velcro strips for all your cables and wires. DON'T fall into the trap of getting more crap you don't need with the intention of creating the world's smartest organizing system. Use whatever you have first and foremost and keep. it. simple. VVVVVVV I'm not buying that either but I've been asked for this type of advice many times and I find that above all, the biggest hurdle is to be honest with yourself. If they are, then I guess I can't help you, sorry. If they're not, then no amount of advice will ever get them off the ground, and I know this because it was something I had to work on for myself before things got better. You have to want to improve yourself, because there's never going to be a solution that just fixes everything while maintaining the status quo. Everyone has different personal circumstances and everyone's got too few hours in the day, but we make it work. It's called hustling. Nastyman fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Dec 18, 2019 |
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Dec 18, 2019 18:29
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Guys no offense but I'm not really sure that 15 hours a day is accurate. A man working 15 hours a day doesn't have time to fixate on the audio commentary he already knows for an old rear end show that wasn't even good to begin with. Maybe he works 15 hours a day on occasion, but claiming that's the average seems like another excuse to me. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, OP
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Dec 18, 2019 19:10
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You are wrong, I have two full time jobs One of the jobs has a decent amount of down time in which I can poo poo post on these forums and watch movies. And Home Alone is a movie, not a TV show. Keep in mind I'm not blaming my lack of free time on why I'm a slob. Mentally I am unable to hang up my suit after a wedding and I just throw it on a chair or table despite me having not worked that day and not having work the next day.
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Dec 18, 2019 19:24
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If you can throw it on the chair you can hang it up.
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Dec 18, 2019 19:48
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I know. That's my problem. It's only like 3% more inconvenient to hang it up but then I gotta make sure I put the pants on the right way so they don't get wrinkled and all that and I'm just like gently caress it I gotta get to bed NOW
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Dec 18, 2019 19:53
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Someone said "therapy", I would second that, yeah.
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Dec 18, 2019 20:08
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yah electroshock therapy!!!! 
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Dec 18, 2019 20:23
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Peter jordanson said wash yer penis
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Dec 18, 2019 20:27
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want to stop being a slob? BECOME THE BLOB!!!!!! 
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Dec 18, 2019 20:28
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Johnny Walker posted:Start with one thing. Throw your laundry in the hamper instead of the floor for a week or two. Just do it. Then do another thing. This is good advice. Trying to overhaul everything at once generally just leads to backsliding in my experience. It seems tedious to do just one thing at a time but it's the best way to keep it going instead of dropping off and going back to old ways.
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Dec 18, 2019 20:31
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Also if you can fit a trashcan in your car, I put one in my car and it's really helped me not be such a car slob. Granted the stuff still sits in the can longer than it probably should but it's better than covering the floor with energy drink cans or whatever
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Dec 18, 2019 20:38
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I don't start watching or reading or playing until I've changed clothes, put my work clothes away where they need to be and make sure everything else (beer bottles and random crap mostly) is put away in the right place. Before I go to sleep at night, I put everything away again in its proper place. Dishes in the sink ready to be washed, clothes all in the right place, electronics plugged in etc. Then on the weekends I do the stuff like washing/brushing my dog, vacuuming, getting the clothes washed, doing all the dishes, dusting if necessary, etc. Helps to have a girlfriend to work on it together. Basically, priorities. You aren't going to suffer if you start watching dumb old shows you've seen before thirty minutes later than you originally were going to.
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Dec 18, 2019 20:38
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WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:This is really good advice. The only thing I am not going to follow is the "once you haven't touched it for a year throw it away" thing because I have a lot of stuff that I've dug up from 5+ years ago that completely saved my rear end. You're paying a high cost for saving your rear end. Not in money but in time and it is your most scarce resource at this time. Sure, you can get a storage and package stuff in there. But at some point it starts to fill up with garbage you're never going to touch and finding what you do becomes very time-consuming. If I read you correctly you have one hour of free time per day. Do you really want to use that sifting through piles of stuff you have no recollection of owning just to find a "making of" document of something? My weak point is books. I'm loathe to get rid of books I've read a dozen times and love, even if I know I'm never going to read them again. But what's the point of storing them somewhere? They're just as dead to me in a permanent storage as they are given away to someone who might still read them. Whatever was in them, I carry with me already. If I really want to read one of them I can buy them again at small cost, certainly smaller than the time and expense of storing and searching for a paperback I vaguely remember I have somewhere. Same goes for music, movies and other media. LP records are the only exception because it brings me pleasure to pick one whenever we sit together with wife at the dinner table and present the cover for her approval. As for tools, if you can't find them when you need them you might as well not own them in the first place. It's easy enough to get distracted from actually fixing something if you have to first spend 30 minutes looking for the tools you need. Get a place for tools and always return them after you stopped using one. Even if it's a box or a cabin with all your tools in it. I have a shelf for all my computer garbage, assorted tools and a massive box for all my cables. They might not be the most organized but at least I know where to look for if I need something. And of course the easiest way to get started is to stop ordering more stuff. You already have plenty, why do you believe more stuff is going to make you happy?
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Dec 18, 2019 23:25
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Hob_Gadling posted:You're paying a high cost for saving your rear end. Not in money but in time and it is your most scarce resource at this time. Also, all the items also have to be where they belong, because a book you can't access quickly is a book that basically doesn't exist. Libraries have systems in place that return things to where they belong and check that things are in order. My version of this is "keeping the floor clean so it no longer requires brainpower to walk across the room." It's incredible how much of an effort it used to take for me to throw something away or hang a sweater back up after wearing it. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:The Home Alone commentary was just a small example. I was able to find a "pirated" MP3 of the commentary online, but it made me want to watch the commentaries of all the movies I just gave away. It wasn't just for that one scene. I would also like to know how a bounce house is useful, because I can't imagine how it is. Please address the bounce house and why you have to keep it.
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Dec 19, 2019 01:20
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i have a bunch of crap in my basement its out of sight out of mind OP just put all your problems in the basement
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Dec 19, 2019 01:26
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I would do small bits at a time, you don't think you have to do EVERYTHING at once. Set yourself some goals - I'll clean this room today, that room tomorrow etc. Once you're on top of things somewhat you just do little bits at a time to stay there. I'll usually be like "Ok, I'll clean the kitchen and give the place a vacuum then I can chill out for a bit until dinner". It does give you some satisfaction when you get stuff done for sure.
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Dec 19, 2019 01:27
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Why not start by putting the VERY VALUABLE clutter things like...... game consoles and PC parts, in their own containers with lids and find a spot just for them? Learning to part with them is a bigger issue and this is a bandaid fix. For now with these loving 15 hour work days, just having the clutter out of sight with the comfort of knowing you still have access to them is doable yeah?
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Dec 19, 2019 01:32
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1redflag posted:No offense, but this is borderline hoarder mentality. You have plenty of stuff you could (and likely should) throw away; we all do. You need to figure out why you are uncomfortable doing so. Totally agree, we just did a massive purge at my house everyone tossed stuff. We donated 10 bags of stuff and trashed like 8 bags of stuff. Clutter accumulates. We then rewarded ourselves with new furniture and we set a time and do an hour cleaning every day. Normally it takes less than 25min but we may sure everything is done. For me this mentally relaxed me more than I thought, none of the clutter was mine so I mostly just ignored it. But clearly it was causing me stress and I did not realize it because I feel way more relaxed than I did and I'm far from a high stress person. Just trash the stuff and stop hording it you don't need a freaking stack of hard drives just like my wife did not need a year's worth of our kids schools papers. Start small one room at a time if you don't use it trash or donate. Stop worrying about if you will need it in the future you can always buy one used or get one from one of the hoarder goons here. Goodluck man, I can't express how happy I am with a clutter free house and we are not letting get out of hand again.
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Dec 19, 2019 02:17
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trickybiscuits posted:I'm a librarian, in addition to being a mess, and this post really resounds with a lot of stuff they tell you in library school about collection management. Every single item a library has on its shelves costs money in things like rent/purchase of the library space, physical maintenance, and electronic catalog space. It also distracts library users from the other items near it (after weeding projects, circulation in a library often rises because it's easier for people to find what they want). Every item in a library has to earn its place, not just on its own but against all the other books on that topic and all the other books in the library. This is an integral part of a professional field. Are you seriously asking how someone with kids would find a bounce house useful? In the spring and summer you plug it into an outlet, blow it up in the backyard, and the kids jump around in it for three hours a day.
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Dec 19, 2019 15:56
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Set a timer for 5 minutes, and put in real effort. It's 5 freakin minutes but you'd be surprised how much you can get done. Repeat as often as necessary.
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Dec 19, 2019 16:31
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