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This is Abby. She was my best friend for almost 17 years and I put her to rest Monday morning. I got her from a friend of mine when I was 19. He died later on in our early 20s. So she had a lot of sentimental value to me just based on that. But even moreso she was the sweetest cat on earth. She was skittish with new people but loved the ones she knew and chose to get scratches from. She knew when you were sad. She would be such a little chatterbox, rest her paws on your hand and paw at you for attention. She loved to snuggle and play. I feel like I've said these things so much the past few days to so many people but talking about it helps. But my connection with her was out of this world. Abby followed me everywhere. And if I was busy fussing over something, she would know where I was going next, and just sit and wait, patiently watching. She'd never leave me alone except for when sleeping or bothering someone else. Every morning I would be greeted by her following me around begging for food, when I got home she would lead me to where I would sit or lay so she could get scratches and love. She even picked up a habit of going to the bathroom at the same time as me. In November she got sick. One morning I just found her sitting under my desk and giving me sad meows. She had diarrhea and was lethargic, not eating. I took her in and she got diagnosed with pancreatitis. They told me that's almost never the only problem in cats, and that it always has a root cause. Usually thyroid, irritable bowel, or lymphoma. Well, she got better with the meds. Then in January she got worse again, and needed to be put on steroids to figure out whether it was one or the other two remaining things (her thyroid came back normal). With injections at home she started to improve a little bit. She was eating, and happy, and enjoying life. But she just wouldn't put weight back on. She had been a 10 lb cat her whole life and had gone down to 6. I got two more happy months out of her after January. Then this weekend, she stopped eating, and new steroids wouldn't get her to eat any more. The vet shaved her leg to put the needle in and saw her skin had started to yellow, indicating her liver failing. He told me that without long term improvement on steroids he was leaning more toward lymphoma than IBD, and we agreed that putting her to rest was the best thing for her. I miss her terribly. I feel such overwhelming guilt not because I didn't do everything I could. I tried so, so hard to make her better. I am just so sorry that there wasn't anything else that could be done. She was such a sweetheart and she just didn't deserve for biology to just happen to her like that. But it did, and I know I'm yelling at a cloud. Treating her illness was hard, but waking up without her little meows and pestering me is so much harder. I find myself looking for her in her little spots out of habit as I walk through my apartment. I fall to pieces seemingly at random. It's one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. But I loved her, and I tried my best, and I hope she understands. She filled my life with so much love I hope I was able to give even a fraction of it back. My last words to her were "Thank you." She was gone in an instant. I know that one day I will be able to think of her and smile instead of falling apart. But that's not today. NomChompsky fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Mar 24, 2023 |
# ¿ Mar 22, 2023 06:45 |
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# ¿ May 13, 2024 08:03 |
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Happy Landfill posted:
Pipping sounds like such a good little guy, and he was so lucky to have you in his life to love him and care for him not just when it was easy, but when it got hard. As painful as it is, I try to remind myself that the reason it's so overwhelming is that it's love. When you love them throughout their life you do it a bit at a time, but when they leave us you love them all at once. It smashes you to pieces because it's too much for your heart to even handle. But more and more you become able to. It doesn't get easier, but you get stronger. Feel better friend.
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# ¿ Apr 24, 2023 01:06 |