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In with a flash and a (3 years late)  .
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Jan 8, 2020 23:53
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Flash: Research chimpanzee 875 words Exit... Cage Left Deep in the forest, out of sight and out of mind from civilization, lies a great white fortress hidden by the towering canopies of an ancient forest. Inside, the halls are filled with the snorts, barks, squeaks and howls from numerous animals; pigs, rats, hounds, hares, birds as well as apes of all kinds are found inside the walls, including an orangutan by the name of Bobo, who has been here the longest. Yet this is not a home as much as it is a prison; each animal is confined to a cage. From time to time, the humans in the white coats take one out and make them perform a task or conduct some form of test, but they are always returned to their cage at the end of the day. Every day this cycle repeats itself. --- Today is Milo's turn. The chimpanzee is seated and tested. The blocks go here, the patterns fit there. Again today, the tests prove no match. ”This is too easy,” he thinks. ”When will something challenge me?” The humans with their white coats observe him and nod. They write down everything and watch him thoroughly. Test after test, their eyes are on him, patiently waiting to see how he'll perform. The humans are cold and distant, except for one; his caretaker, the young woman Anne. ”She's not like the rest,” he thinks; ”she's friendly and warm, but she's still a human, so she can't be trusted.” Back in his cage, Milo sits and ponders while staring at a window outside. It's raining. His thoughts turn to home. A futile desire. ”What's it like out there?” asks Dora, the chimpanzee next door. ”Well... it's nice, and you get to be free,” Milo starts, scratching his head. ”But it's also a dangerous and unforgiving world. At least, we have food and shelter here.” Dora, like so many of the other animals in here, has lived her whole life in here. Of the ones Milo knows, only Bobo and himself have come from the wild. Still, what she's saying is right, and he knows it. But she is young and she is naïve, and he would hate to give her false hope. ”It can't be all bad,” she replies. ”After all, don't we belong out there?” ”We do, but...” he looks back out the window. ”It might not be all what you hope for.” ”I think it is.” She looks out the window, too. ”It has to be.” ”For her sake”, he thinks, ”I hope that's true.” --- The usual afternoon quiet is interrupted by a shouting contest across the room. The humans in white seem to be fighting. Milo notices one of them is Anne, the young assistant. Her face is red as she and one of the ones in white argue back and forth. She points to the side. There's a pig with a rainbow of colors streaked across its face. A group of capuchins burst into laughter at the sight, pointing and hollering in excitement. Milo doesn't laugh. A harrumph is heard. ”Curious,” says Bobo, ”I've never seen the humans do this before.” ”What does it mean?” Milo asks. ”Who's to know?” The great orangutan gently tucks his beard. The strands are long and brittle. ”Maybe we can soon except more than puzzles from them.” ”Say, Bobo,” the chimpanzee says, ”you've been here so long. Do you miss home, still?” The orangutan pulls back a little, still fondling his chin hairs. ”Hm...” He continues: ”There are times I do. The food here is good, my bed is warm, and the humans here seem to care more for us than the ones I knew from my youth. Still, I long for the freedom of the tree tops and to travel between them. I miss the feeling of the branches between my fingers.” ”That was a long time ago,” Bobo finishes with a faint smile. Milo mulls over the words for some time. If the great orangutan can long for home after all these years, maybe he can, too. --- At nighttime, the usual snores and snoozing is interrupted by the sound of broken glass. In an instant, the halls fill with nervous chatter as hooded figures begin roaming around. ”Who is it?” ”What are they doing here?” ”What's going on?” Chatter turns to chaos as metallic rustling starts echoing in tune to the cages being opened. Milo looks around the room. Windows and doors are all open, and everyone is rushing for the exits. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a figure fiddling with something. Not long after, Dora's hatch opens, then his own. Dora is quick to leave, yet Milo pauses. Is this what he wants? Then, the figure comes closer. It's Anne. By this point, the only ones left in the building are Milo and her. She gestures a hand towards him, smiling faintly. Outside, Milo takes in his surroundings. Anne is gone. Dora is dancing. The trees rise as high as he can see. Bobo is swinging between the branches, howling jubilantly. A sense of calm begins to fill Milo. He starts walking, soon disappearing behind the trees.
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Jan 12, 2020 14:27
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BAD CRITS FOR BAD WORDS WEEK 416 EDITION  They Only Take A Tenth (GrandmaParty) The story starts out ok. The fantasy setting is established in the second paragraph and the 2nd person narration is an interesting choice, but it works for the most part. Some lines seem a little out of place; lines like “... much needed, because it turned out God did like the other guy best,” kind of stick out, they don’t really seem to add anything and they’re a little ambiguous. The action segment is fine, although the magic seems kind of hamfisted into the story just to drive home the sword and SORCERY genre. Why would this seemingly random farmer know magic? Is this commonplace? I think maybe you could’ve done without. Overall the action is good. I think that the last half of the story is a letdown, however. The dialogue feels really off, and the main character feels mischaracterized. I’d expect the wife to be more panicked, given the implications in the story, but she just comes off as mildly displeased in some lines. I also think the protagonist is a let-down. You establish that he’s returning from a six-year long war, and he seems more amused having slain a band of sworn enemies, but he should be jaded, gruff, serious. War is hell etc. I think I would have liked the story better if you had made the dialogue more dramatic, but I did like the idea of ending, even if it maybe could have been executed with a bit more emotion. Overall a solid first entry. Way better than my first. Going Back (Chopstick Dystopia) Ok, a lot of things to unwind here. The opening is good, sets up the genre pretty quickly and well. For some reason I’m entertained by the Australianisms in the story, as an aside. The story has a lot of issues, however. You establish a lot of characters, none of which really have any depth to them. Mack’s fine being (and should be) a blank sheet, but both Blake and Mel could have used a little more exposition or at least something unique about them. The detail with Mel and Chuck is good, and I think it was a nice touch, but in general I think the characters need to be a little more fleshed out. The story feels unintentionally minimalistic at times. Also: the sex scene. It’s not much, but feels unnecessary, and the whole act is a lot of text just for a small payoff/foreshadowing at the very last paragraph. It doesn’t flow very well, I think, and I think you would’ve been better off getting to the last line with a completely different setup. Likewise Mack could’ve been cut down severely and still served the same purpose with just a couple lines of introduction. Lastly, the story doesn’t read a lot like “noir”, to me. Noir is supposed to invoke moral ambiguity and flawed characters, but the story doesn’t feel very morally gray. At the end Blake just seems fine with revenge killings, even though he was totally innocent, and he doesn’t seem at all bothered by his actions, other than the incident with Mel. I think Blake’s missing some internal conflict to really have the noir come together. Still a decent first showing, though!  Homeland Improvement (rat-born cock)Honestly, I got nothing. I don’t know what I could have expected from this prompt, but this is the sort of stupid, satirical stuff that I adore. Pretty much everything about it is hilarious, and the story also deconstructs sitcoms perfectly (speaking as a fan of Married… with Children). You literally made my day with this one. Silver Screen Classics (MockingQuantum) My first thought when I think “pulp literature” is “1950s or earlier”, but your modern (or within a decade or two of it) take on the genre works here. The choice of a drive-in theater is a pretty unique choice of setting for the genre. The intro was a little confusing on a first read; a disproportionate amount of time is given to Leather Jacket, who’s really just a redshirt, and it makes him seem to be a little more important than he is. Once the opening is over, though, the story works for the most part. The character dialogue is well written, nothing really overstays its welcome, and the buildup to the horror is both subtle. Reggie’s non-reaction to the carnage makes sense in the context of a movie/drive-in theater. I think you did a good job describing the slasher elements graphically, but in my opinion the ending in particular is the reason for your DM. I’m fine with the killer being somehow from inside the film reel (a la The Ring), but the ending is written a bit chaotically and unrealistically. Somehow Reggie has spent 2 weeks in the theater in a literal bloodbath, and nobody has bothered to check up on the venue? Has he been sent to the Shadow Realm? I think the ending would’ve worked a LOT better if you had ended it on the same day as it takes place, and kept the suspense going with neither Reggie nor the audience knowing for how long he could keep resetting the reel, or if anyone would come to save him. Horror is in the unease and suspense of the situation, and the ending fails in this regard from the logical inconsistencies at play here. Open Book (sparksbloom) I’m a big fan of sci-fi, so just the choice of genre puts me in a biased position, but I really like this story. It’s a little closer to real life technology than most sci-fi stories I’ve read, where the elements are taken to their logical extremes, but I think it’s a solid exploration of a tangible development that I think everybody can relate to (and worry about) in one way or another. The writing itself is very well done, and Annabeth is a well-developed and believable main character with a lot of nuances and (justified) grievances. I think the relationship between Annabeth and Madeline is a bit of a weak point in the story, but this might more stem from me not really knowing how they are supposed to interact with each other, given their situations, rather than their dialogue being poorly written. I suppose I would expect some of Madeline’s expressions early in the story from a teenager rather than an adult woman. That said, the ending does have a nice, emotional resolution, even though it looks like you forgot to write a word on the last line..  A Most Unsavory Brood (AstronautCharlie) Okay wow. So this one is a lot to unpack. Before I cut to the bad (and there’s a lot to cover), I wanna say that you at least have some good (if safe) *ideas* for a whodunit. You bring a cast of unlikeable characters and a murder victim that everybody has some sort of motive to kill in a classic setting, but other than that, there’s not a lot going for it. You’ve got a bunch of consistent grammar errors (punctuation goes INSIDE the quotation marks), and you seem to rely a little too often on adverbs that don’t really tell anything meaningful in some lines, but these pale in comparison to the real problems with the story: The writing isn’t good, and it’s REALLY immature. Sorry, but the whole thing reads like a bad parody of a Scary Movie, and the ending reminds me of *holds up spork* for some reason. In terms of structure, you don’t appear to have a main character, there’s practically no narration, and what little narration there is covers a single paragraph near the end with the lawyer, not to mention that there are just way too many characters in the story. You don’t need to name every character, especially if they’re not important. The children (except maybe Aurora, who is actually relevant) don’t need to be named or have any dialogue. On that note, the dialogue is pretty bad, too. A lot of it doesn’t add anything at all (for example, the bickering between characters), and even the lines that are relevant just aren’t written very well. The story needs more consistent narration, a character POV, some exposition, anything to break up the monotony and make it more interesting. It just reads like it’s on a conveyor belt. You’ve used the entire word limit, but you could have expressed the same in like half the wordcount the way it’s written now. This is definitely an exercise in “less is more”. Also, the actual *murder* in a *murder mystery* doesn’t even happen until almost TWO THIRDS into the story, and from here on it’s just madness. All the characters are written to be sociopaths; Edmund is somehow the least unlikeable character by the end of the story, and he’s meant to be a dick. All the deaths after his just feel like a cop-out to have a stupid twist ending, and somehow this adolescent girl is a Mary Sue of Machiavellian proportions. It’s not a good story as a whole, but that ending really tanked it. Sorry bud. michyeosseo (Tyrannosaurus) I think this one was very good. It reads very well, the main character is a bit of an archetype, but a well-written one, and I like the contrast between her and the sister. It feels a bit like an inversion of the genre (per a quick skim of Wikipedia), but it works and the sister’s craziness is pretty subtle. I also liked the choice of a Korean setting and characters, but it does backfire a bit with all the Korean terminology that I’m not familiar with. Takes me a bit out of the story having to Google things every now and then. That said, I appreciated the change from the norm, and I think it also plays well into the elements of the story, the Chinese Zodiacs and the metaphors used. However, the ending feels a bit rushed, to me, and I guess it feels like it’s missing something? For example, the driver is just calmly sitting there while a tiger is squishing an old lady right next to him. If you’d shown him to be panicking or at least have some kind of emotional response it might have sold the scene more, but that’s about the only problem I have with the story. All in all, I really liked this one. 15 ways to process your trauma following an extraterrestrial abduction in your early teens (Ceighk) This one makes me sad. I REALLY liked this story. The title makes it out to be an edgy “how to”, while in reality it’s an exploration of the victimhood and vulnerability of a traumatized person. It resonated with me a lot and it’s a very good representation of the psychology of trauma victims. It feels very inspired by “How to Lose Weight in 4 Easy Steps”, which is great, although this is obviously a lot more serious in tone. HOWEVER, as you already know, you included a lot of banned words, but more importantly (I think), this story isn’t a horror. Yes, there are aliens, but it’s more like a drama (albeit a good one), not horror. I think it’s a great story; the writing is very good, it’s relatable and it would have deserved an HM under normal circumstances, but unfortunately you completely missed the prompt. The Three Lies of the Imperium (UraniumPhoenix) Oh boy, more sci-fi. Good stuff. The opening is pretty cool; the concept of symbiosis-based mycosynths is a clever break from the standard tech-glorifying sci-fi you normally see, and the story sets up a space opera conflict that’s easy to get into and suits the story well. Said conflict is also a little more nuanced than just “empire bad” once you realize that the protagonist is a literal terrorist, albeit one fighting for his people, homeland and family, and that’s pretty interesting. Everything feels really inspired and just about everything works for the purposes of storytelling. The aforementioned nuance only goes so far, though. The Imperium is a pretty standard “bad guy” entity that we’ve seen hundreds of times before, and I think it would’ve been more interesting if Pyrion had stayed sympathetic to Armillarius rather than just going all “rebel scum” on him towards the end. Instead the Imperium turns out to be another evil entity, and IMO it would’ve been more fitting if both sides had a moral ambiguity to them. Overall, though, I think it was a good story with an interesting take on sci-fi. Rowless Revolution (Yoruichi) This one kind of missed the mark for me. I don’t think it was bad, but I had a little trouble making sense of it, I guess? Like I knew what was going on, but something just didn’t click, and it all just felt weird and jumbled. The opening is pretty interesting, but after that, it all kind of blends together to me. I don’t know, maybe I’m dumb. Granted, it’s a super difficult prompt, so I can’t blame you. Sorry that I can’t offer anything more constructive. Research and Development (Something Else) I think the opening here is pretty strong. Fiona is a pretty strongly established character right off the bat and the entire first half of the story just works. The background, expositions, etc. make for a really good setup for something more. Unfortunately, I think it doesn’t hold up to the last act of the story. I’m having trouble discerning if there’s actually a conspiracy present or if it’s just a convenient plot man that’s come to ruin the MacGuffin, because there’s not any real followup to it. The interesting part of a conspiracy story is the conspiracy itself, but you just gloss over it entirely without explaining anything and cut straight to the ending. For that matter, why would Tony, a random security, need to be present for the ending? He’s already had some involvement in the story, but there he just looks completely out of place. I think the first half of the story is really good, and I wish you would have continued the mystery itself, maybe just left it on a cliffhanger after exploring the bird-dudes, because as it’s written, it all just seems very random and unconnected and not very satisfying. You have a strong base here, but you just completely abandon it after setting up the story, and I think that’s why we decided on your DM. The Most Lamentable Tragedy of Backwater Jacks (CaligulaKangaroo) I’d love to offer some meaningful critique of this, but I never really dug Shakespearean literature, and I find it a little hard to read (probably not uncommon). Obviously it’s not an easy prompt, but generally I find written theater hard to follow and not very interesting (since you lose a lot of the nuances an actor would bring to the scene). However, I did enjoy the idea of Anthony Fauci acting as the ghost of past, present and future disease control, and I think the ending was done well. As a European, the narrative was a little confusing, and I had to Google to actually understand the context behind the story, but I did end up appreciating it on some level. Enslaved and Enraptured: A Flesh-Man in Space (Antivehicular) I have to be honest. I can’t even hope to critique this thing. Any kind of joke at Mitch McConnell’s expense automatically triggers bonus points with me. I like Turtle McConnell jokes. That’s it. Also it all somehow works. Words Writ on Floodwater (Thranguy) This one felt off. There’s not a lot going on, and the connection between the characters aren’t really explained. Del is apparently this supernatural being that’s pretty much everywhere, so what’s her interest in the main character? What makes him special? What happened to London? If she did something to him, what was her motive? Don’t get me wrong, it’s an interesting character and I think it had potential, but in the end there are just too many unsolvable questions to really become invested in her. Overall, the story is a little confusing. There is a lot of exposition and narration in the text, but I’m having trouble discerning which lines are fluff and which lines are actually meant to progress the plot. It all blends together at times; some sentences are very jumbled and unclear, particularly the opening line, and I’m not really sure how the title relates to the body text. Red Eye (Idle Amalgam) I see what you’re trying with this story, and it’s a good effort, but unfortunately it doesn’t quite come together here. Horror stories especially need a consistent internal logic, and this story just seems random and unfocused in that regard, like you’re slapping together a bunch of unsettling images without really knowing what to do with them. It’s okay to be mysterious about the horror or have it unexplained, but the elements here just don’t make sense as a whole. Even something like a couple of thoughts on what’s going on by a main character or narrator would help a lot to tie this together, but as the story is, the horror elements just don’t add up. I feel the COVID backdrop is a little unnecessary, not that it makes the story worse, but it sort of feels like just an excuse to have a mostly empty plane when you can just as easily excuse it as being a last-minute flight. I also think that you didn’t have to title drop the story during the dialogue in this context. It’s a cool title, but I think it’s too much of a colloquialism for a helpdesk worker to say, and it would also be better for the reader to make the connection themself. This is mostly a nitpick, though!
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Jul 28, 2020 08:36
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Week 417 Crits: I Have no Idea What I'm Talking About Edition  No More Plucka (Chopstick Dystopia) This was a marked improvement over last week’s story! I think you have a really unique style, owing in part to your insistence on writing so much in Australian English that would make Saxton Hale proud, and it serves you well in this story; although keep in mind it’s a little heavy in terms of reading comprehension for people who aren’t familiar with the lingo. In terms of the story itself, I think it’s good, and the twist definitely works, although the opening is a little oddly worded? It’s a little over the top, even considering the mood of the story in general. Overall I like it, though.. Downup A Road (Mrenda) I’m very confused by this one. I’m guessing it was intentional on your part, but I can’t find a meaningful pattern in the story, and nothing really appears to be going on in it, even for an anti- or a non-story. Rat-born gave his reasons for the HM, but personally I didn’t see it. Sorry. Third Generation (GrandmaParty) It’s hard to gauge whether this is an improvement over your first entry, given the nature of the prompt, but I do think there’s less to critique here. It’s a pretty simple story, and there’s not really much to say here other than that the clock double entendre gave me a chuckle. Definitely keep up the good work! Black Lines (MockingQuantum) I think this story is fine, in fact I think it’s pretty tense. The cop-out on the monster also works perfectly for the prompt, so kudos there. One thing to note is that your second paragraph is written in present tense, while the rest of the story is in past tense, which is kind of a bummer, but other than that I don’t think there’s anything to note. >°))))彡 (Ceighk) Okay, so two things I noticed here. First, this needed an extra read or two. A lot of words are missing in sentences and some sentences are syntactically incorrect to the point that they’re not very clear, and it’s often. Second, I wasn’t really sure what was going on. It looks like you’re trying to make some sort of parallel or analog to the characters being fish in some sense, but it all feels very detached from reality? A lot of the imagery also seemed to miss me. All in all it was too disorienting to read. Slugger (Simply Simon) This feels a little verbose, and the story itself seems to meander a little over the place in terms of what it’s trying to say (initially, that is), but I feel the biggest shortcoming of this story is that it drags on a bit too long. Halfway through the story it becomes pretty clear what it’s leading to, but you end up going on about the same things for a few paragraphs too many, and that ends up outstaying its welcome. Speak Up (Tyrannosaurus) I don’t have too much to say here. I think it was a pretty funny idea, the humor is good, and the rabbi is great. I’m a little ambivalent on the ending, though; it’s like it’s teetering on the edge of having a payoff and not, so it doesn’t qualify as either. I did enjoy the characters and the ridiculous premise, however. Noise Cancellation (CaligulaKangaroo) I like this one a lot. I don’t really have anything worthwhile to critique here; it’s written very well, and the ending is very well executed. That’s it. In Which Miss Belinda Darlington Receives and Unexpected Proposal (Pththya-lyi) A solid story here. The setup to the anti-climax (that is, the body of the story) here is very good, but I think the ending is a little *too* random for my liking, even though it functionally works as an anti-climax. I think I would’ve liked it better if you had chosen to end it some other way, but really it’s a small issue. Frayed (Thranguy) So. This one’s very intimidating at a first glance (and it’s hell trying to read), but you clearly knew what you were doing when you wrote this, and it somehow works. I like the fact that you manage to finish the setup (the couch) and connect it to the end of the story, which adds some sorely needed cohesion to the story. The greatest strength of the story, as well as weakness, is obviously the formatting; I commend you for making a conscious effort that is surprisingly legible and coherent, but at the same time, it is really difficult to keep the train of thought going with the way it’s formatted. There’s a lot of novelty to this. Release, but no release (ZearothK) Gonna break from the other judges here: I liked this one a lot, actually. My only real critique is that the language might not be as colorful as some of the other entries, but it’s not a big problem in the grand scheme of things, as you’ve clearly got your own style as is. Hashbrowns (Sparksbloom) It’s a safe story, but I like it. There’s a lot of small things that add a lot here, and the opening dialogue with Jeremy is pretty funny. I’m very bothered by the fact that “the real story” is never elaborated, but that’s in the spirit of the prompt, so in this case it’s really a bonus. Uncoping (Yoruichi) Mixed opinions on this one. It’s a gloomy story, but I think it’s grounded and relatable to a lot of people. I also like the way you handled the flash rule, even if it wasn’t immediately obvious to me how it factored into the story. That said, the story didn’t capture me as much as I feel like it should have, though not through any fault of your writing ability. I think it might just be too dark for the prompt, which mostly encourages whimsical stories. Calculated (a friendly penguin) I liked the payoff of the joke here (hehe boobs), but something about the story didn’t vibe with me. I think it’s a good story, I like that the character is exploring the world as much as the reader is, but I think the focus on the letter is throwing me off, somehow? I’m not sure, but I didn’t find that part as interesting as the general exploration of the world. A Rich Tapestry (AstronautCharlie) This one was a pleasant surprise after last week! There’s still a lot to work on, but it’s a big improvement. That said, I’m curious about your choice for the opening. It’s pretty much a series of non-sequiturs that only tangentially relate to the story, and I also think it’s a little too verbose. All in all the “establishing shots” are completely unnecessary, and I don’t think you would’ve really lost anything by cutting them. The story itself isn’t terrible, but it still feels a little off. The dad makes an apparent complete 180 in the span of a couple lines, and I think you also missed the prompt here. You’re kind of allowing a resolution here, and you’re not playing with the rules of storytelling or attempting some kind of joke here. It has the potential to be a feel-good story, but this week wasn’t the time to write this one. Random Encounters (Hawklad) This one kind of blew me away. Not immediately; the first half on itself isn’t immediately noteworthy, but the way you intertwined the two narratives in the second half was really creative and it works so well! None of the parallels between each narrative feel out of place, and I think you handled the prompt perfectly. I have nothing bad to say here, everything just falls so neatly into place. Unflappable (M. Propagandalf) I like this one, but it has a few issues. I can’t really tell to which extent the setting is supposed to be fictional, and that kind of threw me off trying to read it, but it’s a minor complaint overall. I also think you missed the prompt here, as the ending provides a resolution to the conflict in the story. Like I said, I did like this, and I found it quite funny, but it just didn’t live up to the prompt. A Story in Which Our Hero, Brian, Most Certainly Does Not Jerk Off (Saucy_Rodent) I want to say this is an innocent little story, but given the nature of its contents, that would be a lie. It’s a pretty ridiculous premise, and the world presented is equally so; overall I liked this one. it’s definitely on the shorter side but it’s funny and the characters are quirky, although at times the dialogue feels a bit stilted (for lack of a better word), and I think the ending kind of ruins it. I’m not saying you should’ve gone a different direction, but the ending feels undercooked as it is. I think you would have been better off focusing on the bottle once he’s in the house, teasing the reader before the actual anticlimax; you’re got a great setup for a final joke, and that’s what I feel is really missing for this story to come together. A Pathless Way (sebmojo) I like this one, but I’m not sure what to make of it. It’s more of a non-story, really, and I honestly don’t know what there is to critique here. It’s well-written, but it’s hard to get invested in a story where there is so little that stands out, I suppose. My Week With The Maple Poofy Puffs (Antivehicular) This one was grounded and relatable to me. I don’t have a lot to say, but if there is one thing, it’s that snacks aren’t a particularly impressive object to build hype around. Granted, it’s what the prompt specified, but I feel that it hampers the story a little, even considering the premise of the prompt.. And it was just a stupid cup (Dr. Klocktopussy) You wrote this on a Sunday? Wow, ok. I like this a lot. It’s a fun, slightly nonsensical vignette that doesn’t really go anywhere. I think it has a little too much of a resolution at the end to fully fit the prompt, but it’s still very much in the spirit of a shaggy dog story. It’s just a shame you arrived so late.
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Aug 4, 2020 22:47
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Hello I would like in(gredient).
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Aug 11, 2020 11:25
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