Burn Zone posted:

I have a friend from back home who lives in Wuhan teaching English. he said it’s like the flu

A Gnarlacious Bro posted:

i heard they're grinding people up and serving the meat at one of their open air sewage pits

SpaceCadetBob posted:

Woo reading this thread while playing Plague Inc is one hell of a trip.

lord funk posted:

Hey everyone I'm chilling in my apartment in Wuhan right now. Lemme know if you have any questions.

SKULL.GIF posted:

lol

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1221649697850437632

Charlz Guybon posted:

Missed the most important part
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30183-5/fulltext

fart simpson posted:

we got a real debbie downer over here

SKULL.GIF posted:

Viral genome has been sequenced

code:

    1 attaaaggtt tataccttcc caggtaacaa accaaccaac tttcgatctc ttgtagatct
   61 gttctctaaa cgaactttaa aatctgtgtg gctgtcactc ggctgcatgc ttagtgcact
  121 cacgcagtat aattaataac taattactgt cgttgacagg acacgagtaa ctcgtctatc
  ...
29761 acagtgaaca atgctaggga gagctgccta tatggaagag ccctaatgtg taaaattaat
29821 tttagtagtg ctatccccat gtgattttaa tagcttctta ggagaatgac aaaaaaaaaa
29881 aaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa aaa

https://bioinformatics.stackexchange.com/questions/11227/why-does-the-wuhan-coronavirus-genome-end-in-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa/

nikosoft posted:

Friends, at work today I overheard that not only is this virus most certainly engineered by the government, but that the newly-created Space Force holds the patent to it.

This is from the same guy two cubicles down from me that also thinks that the Rothschilds started the PG&E wildfires last year so, you know, he definitely has well-connected sources.

RandomBlue posted:

It's RNA and that sequence is standard.

OhFunny posted:

https://www.unionleader.com/news/health/two-in-nh-being-tested-for-coronavirus/article_34a32773-2bee-5973-8758-0d0fcfa9d79e.html

Two being tested in New Hampshire for coronavirus. The two had been in Wuhan and are experiencing mild respiratory issues. If positive they'll be the sixth and seventh US cases.

gradenko_2000 posted:

the Black Death literally raised wages for workers in Europe

20 Blunts posted:

Kinda spoopy seeing 3M and name brand respirators sold out on Amazon!

galenanorth posted:

Reporter: What's it like being a virus?
Coronavirus: Well, a cell bursts and you're born into the world, and then there's this pressure to always be infecting, always be infecting.

Step 1. Approach the client. Don't be afraid to pass the "no soliciting sign" on the cell membrane and go straight to the cell nucleus.
Step 2. Discover the cell nucleus' needs and persuade them to buy something they don't need with a limited-time RNA offer.
Step 3. Provide the RNA solution.
Step 4. Close the infection.
Step 5. Follow-up by watching as the cell makes more virus friends.

The job doesn't pay much, or really anything at all, but the boss says that you've got to really get to the fourth level of marketing before the returns really start coming in. We're covering a lot of BMT -- that's biomass territory for those not in the infection business -- and I think when the next quarterly report comes out, our shareholders are going to be really excited. We've got this great new project planned, and it involves mucus droplets on every donut in a box of donuts in the office of this Doc Walrus guy that posts on an Internet forum called SomethingAwful.

upgunned shitpost posted:

slowly dying of plague on your twitch stream for likes

A Russian troll farm posted:

loving amateur poo poo that it evolved pneumonia before extreme bioaerosol

snoo posted:

from the gbs thread


me, on day 5 of feeling like i 'just have a cold':

etalian posted:

Don't forget to make loud coughing sounds at work if you have a open office space and tell your co-workers you went on vacation to China.

Lote posted:

There’s a confirmed case in Las Vegas now. Chinese gambler from Wuhan. the US is hosed.

Bullfrog posted:

WHO announces Wuhan flu has become electronically transmissible. If you have been involved in discussion of the virus online, please self-quarantine immediately.

Seek medical attention immediately upon the following symptoms:
- browsing forum threads related to the disease while at work
- increased consumption of alcohol
- feels like you have to use too much toilet paper to wipe your rear end, how the gently caress did the guy in the stall next to you just now wipe a single time and leave, is there something wrong with you?
- experience intrusive thoughts including the phrase "this owns"

pancake rabbit posted:

https://twitter.com/AFP/status/1222604759615582208

https://twitter.com/verge/status/1222607248305934341

huh, weird

vyelkin posted:

lmao that japan quickly announced no one on the plane had coronavirus, then had to rush several passengers to hospital as soon as the plane landed, now say three of the passengers had coronavirus and infected all the rest, wow just wow

Polo-Rican posted:

oh fffuck... Valentine's Day is coming up... a worldwide orgy of bodily fluids.... i don't see any way the human race survives the Suck And gently caress Fest known as Valentine's Day, 2020

triple sulk posted:

SKULL.GIF posted:

ok you get the special treatment of Seriousposting

crack ping is a trump thread joke about the constant barrage of serious and/or bizarre news overwhelming people's minds

you can check my post history in this thread, it's 90% posting news updates and telling smug dismissive idiots that this is going to be worse than they're writing it off as. in literally none of these posts am I actually cheering for people to die, this poo poo is awful, even getting hit by this poo poo and surviving is going to be awful, pneumonia is horrible to deal with, and this has a good chance of leaving survivors with permanent respiratory damage, which is probably even worse than dying (look up a documentary or two on people living in iron lungs)

please chill out and quit harshing the buzz. it's a lot healthier for people to laugh at this poo poo than work themselves up into panicked paralysis. especially given that this thing spreads from presymptomatic hosts there's not really much we can actually do about not/catching it, particularly at the individual peasant level which is what every single one of us posting here is. if you find a director of medical policy here or a mayor or state governor or something then let us know so we can tell them to take this really seriously!!!

BoldFace posted:

Not to sound too tinfoily, but do we yet have a confirmation of any ethnically non-asian contracting the virus?

Zotix posted:

Isn't that what kind of happens throughout nature in insect colonies and poo poo? The sick are ostracized and forced out. I'm not arguing that it's right, but it is natural.

Chuka Umana posted:

https://twitter.com/ARanganathan72/...D547%23lastpost


DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUU

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

ok, in the last week the number of cases increased by approx 15 times, from 639 to approx 9,700. if this continues at the same rate, there will be 150,000 confirmed cases by next week, 2,250,000 by the week after that, 33 million the week after that, 500 million the week after that, 7.5 billion the week after that, 113 billion the week after that, 1.7 trillion the week after that, etc

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5KoNOJm2zU

Vlex posted:

For gently caress's sake I just spent a week in the Canaries.