|
BrutalistMcDonalds posted:my mother called me when i was eating the buffet and we talked about things including the wuhan fish flu. she had just rewatched contagion the other day odds are looking higher of catching coronavirus at the mall where I'm going to work, having to quit my job only two months into it, and then accidentally killing everyone I know or love through my proximity
|
#
¿
Jan 26, 2020 21:04
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 11:42 |
|
|
when the number goes up, it's bad like mini-golf I was just plain flabbergasted when I found out that there's a version of golf without any of the giant clown faces or windmills or waterfalls or Rube Goldberg-style pipes that business executives and presidents for some reason love. The golf balls are even always white instead of coming in a rainbow assortment galenanorth fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jan 27, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Jan 27, 2020 20:41
|
|
|
Siljmonster posted:hahaha theres gonna be shambling flu people infecting people everywhere   
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2020 17:02
|
|
|
If there's a mass pandemic I hope I at least live long enough to see a Contagion-style spooky montage of the spread of the virus. There'd be ominous music and maps with countries turning red interspersed with shots of people coughing and sneezing, clips of news anchors, then ghost towns and army jeeps headed down winding mountain roads
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2020 18:30
|
|
|
Doc Walrus posted:overheard at work just now: Source4Leko posted:I cant wait for CNN and the New York Times to interview the virus so we get both sides of the story. Reporter: What's it like being a virus? Coronavirus: Well, a cell bursts and you're born into the world, and then there's this pressure to always be infecting, always be infecting. Step 1. Approach the client. Don't be afraid to pass the "no soliciting sign" on the cell membrane and go straight to the cell nucleus. Step 2. Discover the cell nucleus' needs and persuade them to buy something they don't need with a limited-time RNA offer. Step 3. Provide the RNA solution. Step 4. Close the infection. Step 5. Follow-up by watching as the cell makes more virus friends. The job doesn't pay much, or really anything at all, but the boss says that you've got to really get to the fourth level of marketing before the returns really start coming in. We're covering a lot of BMT -- that's biomass territory for those not in the infection business -- and I think when the next quarterly report comes out, our shareholders are going to be really excited. We've got this great new project planned, and it involves mucus droplets on every donut in a box of donuts in the office of this Doc Walrus guy that posts on an Internet forum called SomethingAwful.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2020 19:00
|
|
|
TeenageArchipelago posted:Uhh guys my pet fish have been coughing and sneezing a lot and there seems to be some blood in the mucus as well I've been eating all the mucus I can but I'm still not fish flu what gives??? Dietary advice only pls  /u/36176/44.gif?f=community)  eat more flu fish until fish flu fills your sinuses
|
|
#
¿
Jan 28, 2020 22:46
|
|
|
TeenageArchipelago posted:gently caress CLAMSHELL PACKAGING!!!! I just paid $500 bucks to get a genuine needle of fish lung slime from Wuhan, and how do they seal it? loving clamshell. Five minutes later trying to get it open and what I'm left with is a broken needle, cut up hands, and fish mucus on the floor. Gonna go on Amazon and demand a refund for this bullshit FISH FLU /   The symptoms are nowhere near the level of justifying a reaction like finding a zombie bitemark, but as long as we have such a violent emoji we might as well use it
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2020 04:39
|
|
|
Lote posted:There’s a confirmed case in Las Vegas now. Chinese gambler from Wuhan. maybe the gambler blew on the dice for good luck
|
|
#
¿
Jan 29, 2020 08:03
|
|
the US is hosed.
|
whatever happens happens 
|
|
#
¿
Jan 30, 2020 18:44
|
|
|
RedneckwithGuns posted:I don't know if it's been reported yet in this thread from anyone else that might know, but based on an inside source I know there's a very likely case of the virus at Vanderbilt in Nashville, TN right now I was thinking about going there on Wednesday night because multiple primary-challenging congressional candidates were there speaking. My mom was worried about being left alone and had a colonostemy bag leak that night, so I didn't go
|
|
#
¿
Jan 31, 2020 21:33
|
|
|
Charlz Guybon posted:https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1224493942567325696 Somehow when I checked back in on this thread after a few days, part of me expected the growth to have slowed down just because I stopped paying attention to it
|
|
#
¿
Feb 4, 2020 05:33
|
|
|
If you know someone who's elderly and smokes with the flu, and they're breathing heavily, tell them they need to go to the hospital, even if they say twice that they feel fine. As someone said earlier, their lungs are like charcoal briquettes, they've added airways half-clogged with mucus onto that, and the virus will be stressing all their vital organs.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2020 15:50
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/trashcanlife/status/1159434144503537664 except by embedded microchip
|
|
#
¿
Feb 6, 2020 16:00
|
|
|
pancake rabbit posted:i'm actually lol'ing An elderly kindergarten teacher who is nice enough to give me weekly rides to the grocery store, and doesn't usually ever talk about national politics, started talking about how Trump would "protect us" by making sure that Americans who tested positive stayed overseas, so this is ironic. I guess Trump's "Keeping America SAFE" protectionism from the 2013 Ebola outbreak lost to "BRING AMERICANS HOME" nationalism this time. galenanorth fucked around with this message at 22:41 on Feb 20, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Feb 20, 2020 22:36
|
|
|
pancake rabbit posted:no blue check but links to a real article  
|
|
#
¿
Feb 21, 2020 21:05
|
|
|
Sheng-Ji Yang posted:lmao this is very bad It sounds possible that the true origin of the outbreak may be in some country that is so impoverished that it's normal to die in your forties from heart hookworm or something, and they haven't noticed one more blight because they already have so many of them
|
|
#
¿
Feb 21, 2020 23:33
|
|
|
I tried searching for a YouTube video for a song with "breakdown" in the lyrics and there are probably three dozen different songs in the top results https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcDGOTRrRhg galenanorth fucked around with this message at 07:11 on Feb 22, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Feb 22, 2020 07:09
|
|
|
twoday posted:https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1231402949680734209?s=19 In times of pandemic, the dastardly crime of not having enough in savings must not go unpunished
|
|
#
¿
Feb 23, 2020 23:02
|
|
|
twoday posted:[spooky tweets   
|
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2020 21:34
|
|
]
|
This is a step before "The media is spreading coronavirus on purpose so that they can create the story they're covering", which would be slightly more plausible because at least there'd be a profit incentive
|
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2020 22:02
|
|
|
my bony fealty posted:the chud attitude towards the virus rn seems to be that its all media fearmongering and completely overblown and daddy Trump would never let it get into the US like those filthy other countries so gonna lol when theyre all infected like me Bigots who believe any characteristic they possess through no fault of their own makes them better people than everybody else may conclude it's a good idea to spread coronavirus to everyone they know in order to force the uninfected be more like them through having similar antibodies. After all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and some people need a bad experience through which they have to lift themselves up by their own bootstraps.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2020 22:18
|
|
|
Raccooon posted:Mardi Gras gonna turn into a superspreader event. That'd be a fun montage in a dramamentary, just a short series of viral transmissions scenes edit: removed "in which each scene has two or three characters in common" because a lot of transmissions would be toward a crowd, even though there'd probably be some person-to-person transmissions galenanorth fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Feb 25, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2020 22:24
|
|
|
"We have to fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here" on loop for nearly two decades right before we functionally ignore an international pandemic and 2% of people across the country die as their immune systems fight a virus and lose
|
|
#
¿
Feb 26, 2020 03:14
|
|
|
https://twitter.com/KorashCOO/status/1232703850538094593 Here is a bill that was authored in 2016 after the Ebola and Zika virus scares https://web.archive.org/web/2016080...tid=2&Itemid=21 They managed to pass $1 billion of the proposed funding in 2019
|
|
#
¿
Feb 26, 2020 19:32
|
|
|
Lawman 0 posted:Lmao freedom of religion to believe God gives you immunity from plague before you lick every water fountain as a show of divine faith
|
|
#
¿
Feb 27, 2020 03:09
|
|
|
Maybe I'll take an intermediate approach and start doubling up on nonperishables like cereal and toilet paper in mid-March
|
|
#
¿
Feb 27, 2020 21:42
|
|
|
let us know how that goes 
|
|
#
¿
Feb 27, 2020 22:40
|
|
|
Before this was deleted, I archived it at https://archive.is/61Yiy
|
|
#
¿
Feb 27, 2020 23:00
|
|
|
It looks like the only change is "President Trump" -> "Trump administration" and incorporating a Twitter reply's emphasis on firing a whistleblower into the Tweet thread, so the delete-and-repost seems all right
|
|
#
¿
Feb 27, 2020 23:16
|
|
|
Notorious R.I.M. posted:Hahahhahahahahahhahahaha about the same pacing as a Corona-chan webcomic
|
|
#
¿
Feb 28, 2020 03:29
|
|
|
The View is on and one of the hosts was saying "I heard it's like the Spanish Flu" and another said "yeah, but we have much better technology now", when the actual story is that it has the same mortality rate so far, between lecturing the viewer about getting your information from reliable sources and emphasizing that America's pandemic capability is ranked pretty high, at least much more highly than Middle Eastern countries
|
|
#
¿
Feb 28, 2020 17:23
|
|
|
Dog Toothbrush posted:Epidemics interlinked within epidemics interlinked Interrogator: "Recite your baseline." K: "And blood-black nothingness began to spin... A system of epidemics interlinked within epidemics interlinked within epidemics interlinked within one pandemic... And dreadfully distinct against the dark, a filthy, frequented water fountain plagued." Interrogator: "Epidemics." Interrogator: "Have you ever been in a quarantine? Epidemics." K: "Epidemics." Interrogator: "Are you afraid of spending the rest of your life in quarantine?" K: "Epidemics." Interrogator: "Have you ever wondered if we're already quarantined under one sky?" K: "Epidemics." Interrogator: "What's it like to hold the dying hand of a mother you love? Interlinked." K: "Interlinked." Interrogator: "What's it like to hold your grandson in your arms for the last time?" K: "Interlinked." Interrogator: "Do you feel that there's something in your pantry that's missing? Interlinked." K: "Interlinked." Interrogator: "Within epidemics interlinked." K: "Within epidemics interlinked." Interrogator: "Why don't you say that three times: Within epidemics interlinked." K: "Within epidemics interlinked. Within epidemics interlinked. Within epidemics interlinked." Interrogator: "We're done... Constant K, you can pick up your beans.” galenanorth fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Mar 1, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Feb 29, 2020 05:10
|
|
|
Zotix posted:It's obvious Trump wants Pence to be a fall guy. There's no getting out of this situation unscathed for him. The question is who does he replace him with on the ticket in November? The Apprentice: Coronavirus Edition, in which we find out who is the best at running a pandemic like a (grifting) business
|
|
#
¿
Feb 29, 2020 05:22
|
|
|
https://www.wkrn.com/community/health/coronavirus/employees-at-robertson-co-manufacturing-business-self-quarantine-after-traveling-to-italy/ seems like a mistake that businesses are prioritizing business trips and placement of workers in locations of optimal productivity over minimal risk of pandemic virus spread, but at least they're working from home
|
|
#
¿
Feb 29, 2020 05:49
|
|
|
Honj Steak posted:What a pity the stock markets are closed on weekends. saving up Spirit Bomb energy for that Monday crash
|
|
#
¿
Feb 29, 2020 20:14
|
|
|
My mom had the coronavirus talk with me because she has multiple auto-immune diseases. She said we have the budget for doubling up or more on the supply of non-perishables when I suggested it. She has Parkinson's, but she only shakes when she gets upset. Such is life now
|
|
#
¿
Mar 1, 2020 00:21
|
|
|
The Tennessean posted:Coronavirus case detected in Tennessee: First patient is quarantined in Williamson County https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/health/2020/03/05/coronavirus-tennessee-department-health-bill-lee/4962037002/ I think of Williamson County as the "where rich people move to for the 'better schools'" county, but that it passed through the Nashville airport seems pretty bad galenanorth fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Mar 5, 2020 |
|
#
¿
Mar 5, 2020 21:30
|
|
|
A rising tide of death drowns all boats
|
|
#
¿
Mar 6, 2020 04:18
|
|
|
Wait until it hits countries without a national health system and we have a relatively well-controlled experiment. He is literally saying that given the same amount of resources, it's better for those with money get priority rather than medical triage to save the optimal amount of lives
|
|
#
¿
Mar 9, 2020 18:35
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 11:42 |
|
|
Sheng-Ji Yang posted:https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1236965325222088705
|
|
#
¿
Mar 9, 2020 21:50
|
|