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D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Number go down today?

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D1E
Nov 25, 2001


I heard drinking 100% concentrated bleach kills the WUHANVIRUS. Confirm/deny?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Dolphin posted:

we are hosed

Hahahaha YES!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


WELP

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


poeticoddity posted:

This is US centric since that's where I live, and I don't drink the same kool-aid as most people I've seen posting here appear to, but before anyone screeches at this, know that I'm not advocating for or excited about most of what's on this list, but it's how I see things going:

  • Under the second Trump administration we'll get some sort of "medicare for all" lite (with different branding, naturally). It'll be an opt-in set-up and doesn't have to be solvent because they'll fund it with debt. It will be designed to slowly phase out insurance companies and will eventually become an opt-out system followed by being mandatory at some point after he's out. The legislation that pushes it through will be enormously complex so they can hide poo poo in it (like how online sales over a few hundred per year became automatically taxed income under the ACA and they started taxing medical devices). I have no predictions on what they'll hide, but it'll be nasty.

  • There will be some people who become more convinced that socialism is a panacea to all of the woes of the U.S., but overall people around the world will shift toward xenophobia and nationalism. Countries that locked down their borders early will be pointed to as an example of how that needs to be controllable at the national level, and this will ultimately catalyze the dissolution of the EU. Countries will only need a hard-right shift once to leave permanently, so it'll get chipped away over decades.

  • Most politicians will advocate for moving at least some essential manufacturing back to within their borders, and ones who are ultimately most successful at that will typically be unconcerned with whether or not it produces any jobs as long as it produces needed materials and goods.

  • Stronger push for UBI and for national digital currency. The former as way to deal with people who are unable to work due to government mandates and the latter nominally as a way to reduce fomites but really just to increase centralized control.

  • Dramatic long-term reduction in "mass culture". Cruise ships will be a rarity. Fewer people will fly. Movie theaters, concert venues, spectator sports, shopping malls, festivals, parades, large schools, etc. will become increasingly unpopular as a lingering sense of danger sticks around for at least a generation and digital options make most of these less and less relevant.

  • Supply disruptions in contraceptives will lead to a spike in abortions and a small baby boom.

  • Organized religious attendance will finally become less popular than non-attendance in the US. Old and middle aged people will become increasingly concerned with health risks from crowds and younger people will experience less pressure to attend throughout their entire lives.

  • An increasing number of people will look at cities as being intrinsically unsafe and there will be a stronger back-to-the-land push. The urban/suburban/rural divide will continue to increase in political vitriol.

  • The world not exploding when schools close combined with an increasing number of people teleworking and performing non-time-sensitive tasks will lead to an acceleration in the decline of public schooling in the U.S. and more working stay-at-home parents who are involved in home schooling or some sort of hybrid schooling for K-12 kids.

  • There will be an uptick in civilian interest in "civil preparedness" efforts (especially at the local level and in smaller countries) and "prepping" as well as homesteading. When telework makes it easier to leave the city, cost of living and a sense of security will draw people away from major urban centers if they have the means to do so. Somewhere in the U.S. will become the next Detroit, and you'll see municipal bankruptcies of larger cities become more common.

  • Food culture will change due to supply chain disruptions and a need to either harshly treat or quarantine imported produce and other perishables. Seasonality will impact availability where it's recently only impacted price, and as people become more accustomed to more culinary austerity, we'll fetishize presentation (and documentation for social media) less and focus more on nutritional content, storage capability, etc.

  • Antibiotic resistant superbugs galore and a spike in anti-viral-resistant viruses.

  • Tourism will not rebound until population growth becomes the primary driver. The cruise industry will not recover

  • Online degree programs will have decreasing stigmas and will financially out-compete on-campus analogs in most fields. There will be universities that close their doors and never open them again, or use this as an opportunity to shutter buildings and consolidate departments. The cost of higher education will actually decrease due to market forces and the value of a degree from an accredited university will decrease relative to both its current general standing and other online educational systems.

  • Chest freezers, dehydrators, freeze dryers, canning equipment, vacuum sealers, and anything related to food preservation will become more popular at the consumer level.

  • The children who watch this pass over them will never even consider taking up cigarettes. Nicotine may still be popular, but tobacco as a product people consume before chemical extraction will become a rarity. Withdraw issues and health risk will push current smokers away from it, too.

  • Quarantined alcoholics will bring light to the extent of how commonplace alcoholism is today.

  • No matter how bad this is, there will still be people (some of them reading this thread) who will be completely convinced that absolutely no part of any suffering they experienced was their own fault and that absolutely nothing but governmental action will impact any of this. Someone reading this right now can access food, can afford food, has room to store food, still believes you have to be a nut job to "horde" more than week of food, will suffer miserably when their access to food is restricted, and will be absolutely convinced that there was nothing they could have possibly done individually to have suffered less. If you come across someone like this, understand that literally everything about them is essentially poison until something rips that world-view away from them.

TLDR

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Serious question: if any goon gets a confirmed diagnosis for COVID-19 can they get a special gang tag?

I want to be on the CORONAVIRUS DEATH KREW.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001



OK now that's it official someone tell Lowtax to give everyone PANDEMIC SURVIVOR gang tags.

I mean, that's preliminary of course. But at least they can enjoy them before... you know.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Paul Revere 3000 posted:

A guy practically cleared his throat in my face as I was leaving the bathroom. RIP me and my family I guess

Time to draw up your will.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


I like Italy and Italians. Why didn't the coronavirus target France and French people instead?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Why hasn't Pence prayed away the virus yet?

Also, I have an idea for a FOOLPROOF Goon Project: let's all chip in and buy a funeral home chain together! I mean, profits are literally guaranteed to be high in the near term.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


err posted:

Some fucker just sneezed right next to me and didnt even attempt to cover their mouth.

Sue them for $100,000.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Imagine if this actually WAS Captain Tripps.

poo poo would be getting real up in here.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


dex_sda posted:

i have a doctor friend and she claims once dementia starts claiming you you have about a year where you realise it's happening. i think i might euthanise myself at that point

I think it's called suicide when you do it to yourself?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


snoo posted:

I have a fucky feeling in my throat...

This actually perfectly describes the feeling. I traveled on company business last week and flew throw two international airports, multiple flights, and hours-long layovers. Last night I had a sore throat, and this morning I have the weirdest feeling in my upper chest and dry coughing. Barely a fever at all and no difficulty breathing but I'm actually not obese (at least not by goon standards). I called the city health department and they told me to stop being a pussy until I can't breathe on my own and refused to test me.

Do I have COVID-19? For once in my life I'm being loving serious.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas are a couple now.

I think really it's a perfect time for human society to end.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001



The best consumers! Coronavirus will go away because we have the best consumers!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Admiral Ray posted:

700,000 dead. not great, not terrible.

LOL, goon.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Can I admit that I'm curious what everyone's gonna be posting on Instagram in like three weeks?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Does Sudafed mitigate coronavirus symptoms?

Trump actually *is* a genius.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


MysteriousStranger posted:

copper and silver kill things which is one of the reasons they are used in PC water cooling and other applications to inhibit growth

Nerd goon alert!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Can't believe they haven't called San Diego Comic Con yet. It will *have* to be cancelled.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


I, for one, welcome our new coronavirus overlords.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


What's this going to do to the sex worker industry??

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Starks posted:

not to set off a panic but has anyone heard if his disease will in any way affect the development of cyber punk? I’m thinking worst case scenario here

gently caress. YOU.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Plague, Inc. was a documentary!

Am I first?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Well, I guess if I do already have it that's actually good news.

While everyone is is stuck at home later I'm gonna be going on all the cheap-rear end cruises and eating Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet like a motherfucker!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


I mean, assuming I live or whatever.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Pead posted:

chicks dig Ben Affleck's back tat

LOL he got a "phoenix rising from the ashes" tat.

What a punk bitch.

Ana: you would be so much better off with me!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Delthalaz posted:

Where do you think is the least hygienic buffet location as far as catching the Wuhan Obamavirus goes? A cruise ship? Vegas?

Strip club.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Shifty Pony posted:

For those that will have to work from home allow me to give some actual non-joke advice from someone who has done it for six-ish years full time:

Make drat sure that everyone else in your living space and life knows you are working, and not to bother you unless they would normally do so when you are at usual work.

I have CATS, man. They will never understand the concept of "working".

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Hillary 2020 posted:

Better hoard some gas now before the rest of the populace thinks of it.



Has anyone in the United States been shot over toilet paper yet?

If not, I'm honestly loving amazed.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


How are the countries who actually care about their citizens and are locking poo poo down/testing the population exhaustively going to stop all the infected Americans from loving their country up when travel starts back up again?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


I want Trump to look straight at the camera tonight and say "Conoravirus: you're fired!" and give a thumbs-down gesture.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


D1Sergo posted:

Hey I just realized, all those people who had lung issues from bad vape carts? prolly dead

tobacco industry does it again, folks

LOL there go the olds AND the millenials.

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Pollyanna posted:

so we’re all gonna die, right?

gently caress yeah, and the sooner the better!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Schnorkles posted:

look at that lethality chart

just fuckin look at it holy poo poo

So... we really shouldn't bother wasting any time or resources on anyone over 60 then, right?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


TheHoosier posted:

A cesarean is pretty much required for her so I think we have to go to a hospital unless there's something I'm missing

I mean, I'm pretty sure Julius Caesar didn't go to the hospital?

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


snoo posted:

what happened in the last two hours to make five hundred posts

PANDEMIC PARTY!

D1E
Nov 25, 2001


IS AMERICA hosed?

Simple YES/NO please.

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D1E
Nov 25, 2001


Doorknob Slobber posted:

its going to be sad when some people never post in this thread again, mourn me if I die comrades

Lurk more.

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