Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

is there a particular type of beans to get? I figured as a Texan I'd go with these:

but I didn't want to commit a faux pas.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 22:24

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 04:13

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Dolphin posted:

you don't stock up on cans lmao, you buy a sack of dry beans. black or pinto

but the can doubles as a handy reheating container. drag some flaming post apocalyptic debris into a pile, put can on top, enjoy beans.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 22:40

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

# ¿ Feb 26, 2020 22:57

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Admiral Ray posted:

These are so fuckin good

when I got them the first time after marrying Mrs pony she thought that the "ranch" was like ranch-dressing and that she had made a gigantic mistake.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 00:02

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Apraxin posted:

coronavirus 'in some ways easier than the flu', good to know

easier to transmit at least

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 01:16

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

apparently insufficient beans in South Korea

too bad for them, our strategic bean supply stays here.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 02:14

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Crusader posted:

japan closing schools seems like an odd decision given it doesn�t seem to impact the young much at all; e.g. sounds like panic

kids are basically little plague rats. keeping them from congregating and snotting all over each other probably is a good call.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 14:50

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Limerick posted:

not enough traditional family manliness christian gender etc etc dragon of chaos *puts video of an "SJW" meme like Trigglypuff or some poo poo from 2012 behind me while I'm talking to underscore my point*

Real answer: Capitalism does not allow for anything other than bare utilitarianism for the masses, and the ruling class have terrible taste.

yeah design for the masses and you get boring poo poo (details cost money!) with fuckoff huge logos on everything.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2020 16:33

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

I went grocery shopping today (chicken thighs and roasted brussels sprouts for dinner woo!)

plenty of hand sanitizer, soap, and cleaning supplies but the bean section was nearly bare.

I'm proud of my fellow Texans.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2020 01:07

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

capitalism is the prisoner's dilemma with the Betray button glued down. "Everything is on fire" gets better ratings and viewer retention than "everything is fine" so that's what most media outlets will go with. there are too many people involved in your average US hospital and nobody gossips like medical staff so we'll learn about every diagnosis. the only bit I don't expect much coverage of is the crushing bills that affected people have because that's boring old news in our current distopia.

Fox News being the exception of course. their bronze god has given them their talking points and they'll run with that even if it ends up bleeding viewers.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2020 19:04

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

GABA ghoul posted:

It's just a rumor. No beans here. Not even a single one. Maybe ask in gbs or D&D? *cocks revolver behind back*

psst... hey... maybe they are asking because they want to add their beans to the pile. we should hear them out maybe?

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 15:12

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

NSFW:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BON-7_lB2o

(Not safe for Wuhan-virus that is)

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 16:14

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

SKULL.GIF posted:

If you told me that I would have believed you.

same.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 16:49

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

5000 years ago, in the before times: "There's no way the president of the US would call the well documented spread of a disease with an identified viral cause a media hoax."

Trumptime: "Yeah that sounds about right."

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 16:52

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Dolphin posted:

can we start referring to the time before Trump as "the elder age" and the people back then "the ancients"

considering that soon a good chunk of the people that remember that time will die from COVID... sure.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 16:56

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Bushido Brown posted:

Trying to plan for my honeymoon this fall and I legit don't know what to do with all of this going on.

just be sure to get travel insurance I guess.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 18:41

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

lol search twitter for Costco and check out the photos

https://twitter.com/jillreports/status/1233870486670495745

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 23:03

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

I highly recommend having an instant pot. they are really versatile and ours pretty much never leaves our countertop.

it was also really handy when we had a week long boil water notice for the whole city. we could just fill up the pot, set it to 3 minutes, then do whatever since it would turn off automatically once it had boiled for that long. it didn't heat the house up like the stove would and also hit a higher temperature.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 15:24

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

I keep reading COVID-19 as CORVID-19 and tbqh it would be pretty rad if the virus made you break out in crows.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 22:40

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

everything is going to be canceled. im waiting for sxsw to be canceled and austin freak out because while everyone hates it its a huge part of the economy

lol the freak out from the "investors" that bought up easy side houses to list on Airbnb is gonna be amazing

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 22:47

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

he's gonna find it is tough to breathe when you have a crow in your throat

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 22:51

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

doctor... my wife.. is she going to be ok?

we're doing all we can, but I'll be honest... I've never seen anyone with jackdaws recover. Ravens we can treat, but the 'daws is a terrible sign. I'm sorry.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 22:56

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Rectal Death Adept posted:

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 23:39

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Ebola Roulette posted:

Lol I just realized that if this actually does manage to infect as many as the flu thanks to it's mortality it would probably be the #2 if not #1 leading cause of death for 2020

now consider that we have an effective flu vaccine which severely reduces the ability of the flu to infect people.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 18:35

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Dustcat posted:

https://twitter.com/lauraolin/status/1234544718152970243

i'm gonna kickstarter a face-touching rod and make two million dollars

I've been noticing this too dammit. you don't realize how much your drat face itches until you try not to touch it as often.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 20:22

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Delthalaz posted:

Priester Jane was not right because she is predicting societal collapse whereas in fact we are being blessed by the sweet angel Coronae culling the boomer curse from the land and paving the way to medicare-for-all

didn't she also make claims that mass graves filled with thousands were already everywhere in China and the Chinese military was facing a breakdown in its ranks due to uncontrolled spreading in the command structure? I can't keep things straight.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2020 22:14

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Tei posted:

USA is massivelly underfunding this, or they don't want to work on the problem

the US health system is completely incapable of doing anything unless profit is involved.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 14:46

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Nocturtle posted:

Maybe this has been discussed already/is boring, but it's interesting how academic communities are responding to the outbreak in the US. For example this past weekend the American Physical Society (APS) cancelled one of the largest physics conferences in the world shortly after the first US community transmission was announced. It was scheduled to run this week in Denver Colorado, and so the cancellation came just days before the conference start and after many people had already flown in(!):

However other major US conferences for different academic fields scheduled to start in April and beyond are still going forward for now. It doesn't take a fortune-teller to look at the deteriorating containment in the US to predict that these conferences will likely also be cancelled, but the organizers don't want to bite the bullet and make that decision yet. As a result attendees have to decide for themselves whether to book travel and accommodation for events that might not occur. The point is that even in communities that are ostensibly focused on dispassionate evaluation of empirical evidence most don't want to make the hard decisions required to proactively deal with this outbreak.

Also it would be great if this pandemic can kill the super dumb academic conference model where everyone flies in from all over the world to give a single 15 minute talk. Reliable video conferencing exists already.

without the conference model then how will people who couldn't get published force audiences to listen to their fringe theories by disguising them as Q&A questions?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 15:39

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Acelerion posted:

this is triggering me

oh but sometimes it makes for fun, like when the person presenting recognizes the nutty theory being spouted because they were part of the peer review panel that rejected the questioner's paper.

the rollercoaster of smugness to excitement because a respected expect was familiar with their theory to horror at why they were familiar with it to resigned "oh..." from that questioner keeps me warm in dark times.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 15:51

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

D-Pad posted:

I guess it shouldn't surprise me C-Spam has a lot of Austin residents. Is one of you the guy that passed me on Mopac going 80 in a loving Yugo with a license plate that said Commie? Where do you even get parts for the loving thing?

even odds on uglycat being the thong cyclist.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 18:58

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

poeticoddity posted:

I'm in the under 40 side of that equation, dumbass.

Boomer is a state of mind.

But I agree save the OK Boomer for when they aren't your boss. They can be vindictive fuckers so best just to cough on them when you want them to leave.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 20:39

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

GABA ghoul posted:

Seriously, what up with that? Can some med goon chime in on this?

moisturize better. winter means dry irritated skin that wants scratching.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2020 21:42

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

I have an antique cast iron dutch oven but can't use it because my genes are faulty causing my guts to absorb too much iron.

it makes me sad that I can't cook my beans in it.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 04:45

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

my wife works at a hospital. they sent out an email saying are consolidating all masks and similar PPE in the location where it will be most accessible in the event of someone coming in with Covid symptoms, and saying people in other areas can sign out whatever they require for the day from that location.

lol they are putting all of them in one spot to stop people from stealing them.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 17:33

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Gearhead posted:

I think it's the person who was hauled of YET ANOTHER goddamn Princess Cruise.

A 10 day round trip between SanFran and Mexico, and they were sick when they got back to SanFran, so they were probably sick before they got on board.

boomer's obsession with cruises will be the end of them.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2020 21:16

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Dog Toothbrush posted:

Didn't that rushed SARS vaccine induce narcolepsy in a bunch of people it was tested on?

a risk with a lot of rushed vaccines is that they are too good at priming your immune system so when you do get the actual pathogen your immune system goes hog wild and melts your organs in fun ways.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 16:33

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Nocturtle posted:

Can you point to more info about this? That's both fascinating and horrifying, especially when the President is apparently personally asking the drug company CEOs to rush out a vaccine.

unfortunately anti-vax assclowns have latched onto the terms (cytokine storm or cytokine release syndrome) and shat out a billion junk articles which combined with the fact that the risks would usually be caught very early in development, before human trials start, makes searching for examples difficult.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 17:14

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

my wife's hospital is getting calls now from various physicians offices in the city asking if they can buy PPE from the hospital.

No.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 18:30

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

Ramadu posted:

https://twitter.com/0ddette/status/1235637804488486915

Fischer Scientific has been around forever. you'd have a hard time finding a science lab of any type anywhere in the country that doesn't have some sort of Fisher equipment in it.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 20:35

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 04:13

Shifty Pony: Dec 28, 2004; Up ta somethin'

gay picnic defence posted:

What�s the most effective way of spreading this thing? Spitting on your hands and wiping them on door handles at a Trump rally?

vaping mad clouds.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 15:24

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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