|
please play this thread theme music as you read the thread. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3nnFkRlA40 hello everyone. welcome to the Royal Rumble Roulette. i'm sure all of you are very excited to see which team you're on this year, who your new friends are, and also, your new enemies. you will have only a handful of new friends, but over 130 new enemies. keep your enemies closer than your friends, so everyone should crowd together and snuggle up next to each other. this list was generated on random.org. one person had to be moved due to not wanting to be on team 1, they were randomly swapped with someone else. some people either explicitly stated or heavily implied that they were not my friend. being my friend was one of the rules of participation, and these people have been noted on the list. i have graciously allowed them places on teams, but if their team wins, they will not be recorded as winners, and they will not be allowed to celebrate with their teammates. MJeff may choose to either be recorded as a winner or celebrate, but not both. because this is a politics year, and politics is just like freakin' pro-wrestling sometimes, am i right, this year, the team names are gonna get a little political in 2020. this year's theme: Unsuccessful Major Party Candidates for President of the United States. you get bonus points for picking someone who never held the office, but are not required to do so. this includes major third party candidates such as Ross Perot.  friends and lovers of 2020 1 - George McGovern A Salty Affair uncurable mlady Big Coffin Hunter schwein11 John Dudebro 2 - Rufus King UltimoDragonQuest Faarky Dias Punch McLightning Erebus 3 - William Henry Harrison Dell-Zincht Quantum of Phallus NULL_SIGNAL Astro7x 4 - Charles Evans Hughes Biscats n Gravy StarkRavingMad Ragnarok the Red Red is Dead The Lord of Hats 5 - Hillary Clinton is pepsi ok Zeta Acosta Jerusalem Insertnamehere31 Bizarro Kanyon 6 - Al Gore Pinche Rudo ThePariah Dr.Smasher ArmyOfMidgets 7 - Horace Greeley Custard Undies TV Zombie Abroham Lincoln the escape goat SalTheBard 8 - Walter Mondale nonrev IcePhoenix Shinjobi flashy_mcflash Namtab 9 - Thomas Dewey GenericMartini (not my friend) MJeff (acquaintance only) Kevino07 CBJSprague24 10 - Michael Dukakis PUNKS DIET SODA (not my friend) oldskool Supreme Allah Flight Bisque alpha_destroy 11 - Winfield Scott Hancock Ishin WrasslorMonkey Push El Burrito Blaise330 achillesforever6 12 - Mitt Romney Maigius delfin Luigi Thirty HidaO-Win 13 - George Wallace Evil Badman Cavauro RealFoxy NienNunb TheRico 14 - John Kerry SatansOnion ShakeZula gdriley42 extradite THIS! Riotgrrill 15 - Jesse Jackson try the new taco place yea ok pen0r Woodchip 16 - Robert La Folette Artelier illcendiary Shawn Cotureier Rick Infidel Castro 17 - William Howard Taft SamuraiFoochs Little Mac Armitage Fentry eric ciaramella 18 - Adlai Stevenson II a new study bible! YourHumbleMessiah Sanguinia Venomous 19 - Jimmy Carter stab IllegallySober Molestationary Store Fluffy Bunnies RHX 20 - Bob Dole Incessant Excess Spikegal Codependent Poster BodyMassageMachine Eat My Fuc 21 - Ross Perot Dacap Brokenogre GLOSS Procrastinator 22 - Richard Nixon Hopkins FBI Shoehead Bard Maddox HOT! New Memes TTBF 23 - Barry Goldwater Blasmeister InsensitiveSeaBass OFFICER LIGER TriffTshngo Spiderdrake 24 - the extremely illegal choice of Stephen Colbert, which disqualifies the team from winning Senerio Dango Bango Sky Shadowing Mekchu 25 - Gen. George B. McClellan surf rock Karmine Petit Gregory Hirez Evil Canadian 26 - Alf Landon No Irish Need Imply PASS THE MASH KungFu Grip (not my friend) CarlCX The Bee 27 - William Jennings Bryan Drew McIntyre MotU BTF fit em all up in there 28 - Theodore Roosevelt NowonSa Rarity werty420 Zanael ShadowedFlames 29 - Gerald Ford Hockles Netsky Manic_Misanthrope Accident Underwater thatguyclint 30 - Martin van Buren Visual Basic Bitch Do not even ask (not my friend) 21 Hoot Salute Gumball Gumption my pick for my team, 27, is William Jennings Bryan who was famously anti-evolution and acted as prosecutor in the Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925. Bryan ran for President as a Democrat three times, losing to William McKinley twice, and William Howard Taft once. in this time in American history, everyone was named William. in this cartoon he is depicted as a populist snake devouring the democratic party whole, much like a certain popular democratic candidate is doing today.  i hope you all have a good time during this year's rumble, and that you make some new friends that last you a lifetime. Somebody fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Jan 26, 2020 |
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 3, 2024 00:37 |
|
|
team hillary clinton
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:31
|
|
|
Team 24, we are Stephen Colbert. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Colbert_2008_presidential_campaign
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:35
|
|
|
Team Horatio Seymour
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:35
|
|
|
Senerio posted:Team 24, we are Stephen Colbert. major party candidates only
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:38
|
|
|
Drew McIntyre posted:major party candidates only He may not, in fact, be a major party candidate, but I feel with my heart that he's a major party candidate, and according to Stephen Colbert, that's enough.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:39
|
|
|
13 is a very unlucky number. because of this, all of the members of team 13 have their team named george wallace even though they don't want to. he was the governor of alabama a lot. he was both a democratic and independent candidate. he famously said it is tyranny to not have segregation. he ran for president four times and was not successful at all in any of them. after he thought it would hinder him more than help him, he pretended that he became "born once again" through the God of christianity, and said that he didn't believe in being racist any longer, even though that was a lie. someone tried to kill him before then but it didn't take. he was in constant pain in the final weeks of his life.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:42
|
|
|
Team 10 TEAM DUKAKIS Edit: I'll celebrate anyways
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:43
|
|
|
please stop undermining my authority so early in my thread's life
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:44
|
|
|
i don't like being stuck with number 13 and george wallace. i probably won't even enjoy WWE this weekend
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:48
|
|
|
I like my team and I like this thread and I like your choice of fish.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:48
|
|
|
If you do not feel, in your heart, that Stephen Colbert was a major unsuccessful candidate for president, then I unfortunately cannot be your friend (and thus cannot celebrate with the rest of Team Stephen Colbert). It's heartbreaking but it is what it is.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:49
|
|
|
Does Team 8 want to be the Romnailures?
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:53
|
|
|
Team 6 is Team Al Gore.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:57
|
|
|
On behalf of Team 20, 20 years on from his biggest moment (or lack thereof), it’s the Inventor of the Internet himself, AL GORE! (GORE! GORE!) Edit: ^gently caress! BOB DOLE then. 
BodyMassageMachine fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Jan 24, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 21:58
|
|
|
Cavauro posted:i don't like being stuck with number 13 and george wallace. i probably won't even enjoy WWE this weekend i'm sorry. i'm sorry this thread is going so badly, everyone. it will be better next year.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:01
|
|
|
we're going to make it work. i've been thinking about how to turn this team around and decided that we're going to pretend to be named after the rather unfunny but well-respected by his peers comedian George Wallace instead of who the team is really named after. everyone on George Wallace, pretend like it's the other george wallace, and try your best to come in and ask someone to tell you who number 13 was in the royal rumble thread on sunday, and say "thanks" to them if they tell you, and then go back to doing what you were doing before.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:06
|
|
|
gently caress yeah! 18 will be Adlai Stevenson II, the Democratic candidate who came to the American people with a vision of social democracy and lost twice to Eisenhower in 1952 and 1956. Of course, entrant number 18 will win.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:07
|
|
|
Can we get Vermin Supreme for team 30?
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:08
|
|
|
flashy_mcflash posted:Does Team 8 want to be the Romnailures? no I nominate Walter Mondale, who lost every state except his home state (and DC) in the 1984 election
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:09
|
|
|
Oh does it need to be from that Wikipedia page? Martin Van Buren if we can't be Vermin.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:10
|
|
|
Team 23 deserve neither respect nor admiration, so we are team Barry Goldwater
Blasmeister fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Jan 24, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:18
|
|
|
#24: Team Stephen Colbert  Team 24 has had its ups and downs, with a list that has its main eventers, past and future, as well as jobbers. We've only had three repeats in the 21 entries into the rumble. Of those, one was a future winner ("The Ringmaster" Steve Austin, who won his second parlay into #24), one had a combined time equal to The Honky Tonk Man's time as #24 in 1990, and the final was KANE who is, as we all know, a goon on these very forums. Team 24 has had three winners from the spot, all of whom are main eventers. In 1991 Hulk Hogan won, in 1998 Steve Austin won, and in 2000 The Rock won. The wrestler who spent the least amount of time as #24 was Jack Swagger in 2016, at 15 seconds, and the one who spent the most amount of time as #24 is Steve Austin, totalling 26:55 between his two appearances. The longest single run of a character at #24 was The Big Show in 2004, who spent 24:38 as #24. Additional fun fact: Last year, both participants at #24 lasted exactly 7:55 before getting eliminated. 1989: Brutus Beefcake (13:56) 1990: Honky Tonk Man (04:01) 1991: Hulk Hogan (WINNER!!! in 21:00) 1992: Colonel Mustafa (02:36) 1993: Carlos Colón (7:25) 1994: Genichiro Tenryu (17:21) 1995: Bart Gunn (06:19) 1996: The Ringmaster (10:57) 1997: Terry Funk (15:18) 1998: Steve Austin (WINNER!!! in 15:58) 1999: Val Venis (12:41) 2000: The Rock (WINNER!!! in 14:47) 2001: Crash Holly (02:31) 2002: Farooq (00:39) 2003: Booker T (06:20) 2004: Big Show (22:38) 2005: Paul London (03:15) 2006: Super Crazy (07:40) 2007: Chris Masters (03:32) 2008: Big Daddy V (07:49) 2009: R-Truth (12:06) 2010: Chris Masters (00:29) 2011: Tyson Kidd (00:53) 2012: Jey Uso (07:05) 2013: Kane (01:46) 2014: John "Bradshaw" Layfield (00:49) 2015: Kane (17:13) 2016: Jack Swagger (00:15) 2017: Dolph Ziggler (04:21) 2018: Randy Orton (13:55), Beth Phoenix (02:22) 2019: Rhea Ripley (07:55), Jeff Hardy (07:55)
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:19
|
|
|
Blasmeister posted:Team 23 deserve neither respect nor admiration, so we are team Barry Goldwater quote:Despite his loss of the 1964 presidential election in a landslide, Goldwater is the politician most often credited with having sparked the resurgence of the American conservative political movement in the 1960s. He also had a substantial impact on the libertarian movement. so he's the stinkiest loser ugh if ziggler or corbin comes out at 23 you will have selected perfectly though
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:30
|
|
|
Aww i missed signups for this for the first time in years.
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 22:54
|
|
|
Natural 20 posted:Aww i missed signups for this for the first time in years. natural...1
|
|
#
?
Jan 24, 2020 23:31
|
|
|
Team 7 is Horace loving Greeley
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 00:32
|
|
|
Natural 20 posted:Aww i missed signups for this for the first time in years. I demand that nat 20 be given the chance to get put on a team!
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 00:32
|
|
|
Zeta Acosta posted:team hillary clinton Go team 5! Definitely going to make it to the end by backstabbing an ally then losing to a hated underdog due to technicalities
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 00:39
|
|
|
History of team #7 1988 - Jim Burnzell 12:06 1989 - Jake Roberts 2:08 1990 - The Warlord 8:16 1991 - Saba Simba 2:07 1992 - Tito Santana 13:55 1993 - Jerry Lawler 1:56 1994 - Diesel 17:41 1995 - Tom Prichard 5:30 1996 - Jake Roberts 14:39 1997 - Jake Roberts 1:10 1998 - 8-Ball 30:43 1999 - Steve Blackman 7:22 2000 - Steve Blackman 0:44 2001 - Raven 8:51 2002 - Billy 3:37 2003 - Chavo Guerrero 7:10 2004 - Matt Hardy 14:18 2005 - Edge 40:19 2006 - Jonathan Coachman 0:30 2007 - Sabu 5:28 2008 - Tommy Dreamer 2:09 2009 - HHH 50:00 2010 - Zack Ryder :32 2011 - John Morrison 13:24 2012 - Mick Foley 6:34 2013 - Titus O'Neil 7:30 2014 - Jack Swagger 12:24 2015 - The Boogeyman :47 2016 - Kane 19:07 2017 - Braun Strowman 13:11 2018 Men - Andrade "Cien" Almas 29:24 2018 Women - Tamina 1:34 2019 Men - Jinder Mahal :30 2019 Women - Billie Kay 9:25 Total Time for Men - 5:54:02 Average Time for #7 - 11:04 Winners from #7 - 0 Total time for Women - 10:59 Average Time for #7 - 5:30 Winners from #7 - 0 SalTheBard fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Jan 25, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 00:57
|
|
|
wait did I miss the signup thread? I can't find it. am I blind? I wanna be on a team.  e: oh it was sticky. i never read sticky threads. I guess that makes sense. e2: I went to random.org and was assigned number 9. so consider me #9's unofficial cheerleader on the side even if I forgot to get a number on time. The Berzerker fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Jan 25, 2020 |
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 01:00
|
|
|
The Berzerker posted:wait did I miss the signup thread? I can't find it. am I blind? I wanna be on a team. OP add this person to Team 19! We can all be pals in Team 19. Team 19 do we wanna be Team Jimmy Carter and try to necromancy Mr. Peanut? E: Okay be on team 9  see if we care
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 01:09
|
|
|
team 5 is great because team 5 is good
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 01:13
|
|
|
Fluffy Bunnies posted:OP add this person to Team 19! We can all be pals in Team 19. I will accept being drafted onto team 19 since it is a real team, if OP permits. 
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 01:14
|
|
|
21, well if i am coming back to wwe for the first time since pre survivor series i guess that the rumble is as good a time as any, lets hope i dont draw kevin nash...AGAIN
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 01:54
|
|
|
IcePhoenix posted:no Sure that works, I don't think I could possibly be less interested in this show so Mondale is perfect.
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 02:15
|
|
|
I'm so loving happy I'm on the same team as Cav, I probably will not watch the Royal Rumble but I hope numbah thirteen wins, baby!
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 02:23
|
|
|
Team 26 is Team Alf Landon, because much like the WWE we lived too long and accomplished nothing.
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 02:25
|
|
|
Zeta Acosta posted:team hillary clinton Yer a cruel goon, Zeta Acosta  Let's go Team 5, let's go Hil-Dogs!
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 02:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 3, 2024 00:37 |
|
|
Team 5 is going to Pokemon GO over the ropes and get eliminated.Drew McIntyre posted:Do not even ask (not my friend)
|
|
#
?
Jan 25, 2020 02:59
|
|
