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Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS




Culver's is a Wisconsin-based fast food chain that has over 600 locations, mostly in the middle of the country where all the cool people live. They serve butter burgers, frozen custard, and the usual fast food stuff like chicken fingers, fries, etc. Unlike other fast food places, you get a number for your table when you order, and they bring your food out to your table. That's one of the reasons why old people like them so much! (The other is because they serve pot roast sandwiches with mashed potatoes and green beans)



BUTTER BURGERS :burger:

The butter burgers are Culver's are smashburgs! That means they take some meat, slap it on the griddle, and use a big spatula to smash it into a thin patty. That results in a super crusty, brown and delicious piece of meat! A proper butter burg will have lovely lacy edges. Because they're pretty thin, a double burg is standard practice, but a single is good too.

But where's the butter?! It's on the bun! Butter burger does not mean that the meat is cooked in butter you silly gooses. The bun gets a swipe of butter before it's toasted on the griddle and that's what makes them butter burgers. Really, the smashing probably makes more a difference in the final product than the butter, but that might just be because as a Wisconsinite, I have too much butter flowing through my body to really notice.

Burger protip: Always get fried onions on your butter burger! They slap a slice of red onion on the griddle, and they're really good, also free.



SIDES :fry:

Fries are the standard side and they're fat crinkle cut here. I love them, because they stay crisp for a long time and they're great for ketchup dipping. But lots of people seem to poo poo on them for whatever reason, so try them yourself.



...Or NOT, because Culver's also has cheese curds! This is the well known side of choice. I think in most places, Culver's may be the only restaurant you can get deep fried curds (that's not the case in Wisconsin lol). The curds are a mix of white and yellow cheese, which is unusual. They're breaded, with a little bit of what seems like Italian seasoning, and then fried. Because they use actual curds and not just cut up cheese chunks, they have the unmistakable spongy, springy and squeaky texture. If you have never had curds before, get them.



CUSTARD

Frozen custard is NOT ice cream! Here's why:
1. Custard must include egg yolks and be at least 10% butterfat
2. Custard has much less overrun, which means way less air whipped into it while it's freezing
3. Custard is churned fresh continually, and served immediately at a higher temperature than hard pack ice cream

That all adds up to a product that is super smooth, velvety, dense and creamy. It's very different than ice cream in texture and appearance. It's available in chocolate, vanilla, and the flavor of the day (FOD) which runs the gamut and is schedule a month out so you can make sure to get your favorite flavors. There are also concretes, but those are actually stupid because they're just sundae toppings mixed into custard which is boring. ALWAYS get the FOD! If you do not like the FOD (you will), then get a shake or a sundae.

OTHER STUFF

There are other good things on the menu, like onion rings, regular and buffalo chicken tenders, and a rotating specialty burg that's usually pretty good. Also old people things like fried shrimp plates and pot roast. What's your standard order? Why do you love Culver's so much? CULVER'S!

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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
I've been a couple times and the burger was decent, as were the curds.

What's the optimal order to really get me on the Culver's train?

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

TheAardvark posted:

I've been a couple times and the burger was decent, as were the curds.

What's the optimal order to really get me on the Culver's train?

Deluxe Butterburger basket with cheese curds and root beer or custard.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


bradzilla posted:

Deluxe Butterburger basket with cheese curds and root beer or custard.

yes, always get the root beer because it's their own recipe and very good!

and since it's self serve make sure you fill up on the way out

mbt
Aug 13, 2012

i never go for their flavors of the day, plain vanilla or chocolate custard ftw

e: also, the kids meal is an insane deal. $5 gets you a single cheeseburger, fries, a drink, and a scoop of custard

a scoop of custard by itself is like $3

Pushy Cat
Jun 24, 2016

this place is pretty good

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


thread got me craving today because it's been a while, so I butterburged





Meyers-Briggs Testicle posted:

i never go for their flavors of the day, plain vanilla or chocolate custard ftw

e: also, the kids meal is an insane deal. $5 gets you a single cheeseburger, fries, a drink, and a scoop of custard

a scoop of custard by itself is like $3

oh yeah a coworker used to walk to Culver's for lunch every day and get a kid's meal and brag about how it was so cheap. good tip!

ASenileAnimal
Dec 21, 2017

ate at culvers on a road trip and made sure to stop by again when i came back. quality burgs.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
They had a special burger with a pretzel bun for oktoberfest and it was really good!

Saagonsa
Dec 29, 2012

Culver's is extremely good. Me and my boyfriend always get it at least once when we visit each other.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
Great OP thank you!

Peachfart
Jan 21, 2017

I had Culver's when I visited Arizona and it was pretty good, none here in Washington though.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Peachfart posted:

I had Culver's when I visited Arizona and it was pretty good, none here in Washington though.

fun fact: there are a ton of former Wisconsinites who live in Arizona now, so that's why there's so many Culver's down there!

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.
We just got these in my part of FL recently and they are a nice change of pace from other burg places

Might swing by after work tomorrow now that I'm thinking about it

Zorak of Michigan
Jun 10, 2006

Culver's has good fries, decent curds, and edible gravy, yet inexplicably, no poutine.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Zorak of Michigan posted:

Culver's has good fries, decent curds, and edible gravy, yet inexplicably, no poutine.

probably because curds on poutine shouldn't be fried

EightFlyingCars
Jun 30, 2008


I used to work at a Culver's and god I got so fat

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


EightFlyingCars posted:

I used to work at a Culver's and god I got so fat

what neat secrets can you tell us? how much of that pot roast do you go through, like 3 sandwiches a day? did anyone eat custard directly off the chute? what's the most popular FOD?

pwn
May 27, 2004

This Christmas get "Shoes"









:pwn: :pwn: :pwn: :pwn: :pwn:
If you get a concrete mixer, i’d suggest having them skip the actual mixing.

First they fold your toppings into the custard, a la Cold Stone. Then they put that in a cup and put it in a machine that blends and pulverizes everything into an homogenous slurry. I like having my ingredients discrete and identifiable, each bite a treat, etc. Skip the machine

Also use BOGO coupons and then ask for a couple of empty pint containers to store your leftovers at home (you should have leftovers. Nobody should eat a pint of this stuff in one sitting, let alone two pints.)

ANUSTART
Jun 26, 2013


ur jiri3-pax(PAD)-ra2 al-tukur2?-re
gu-du-ni an-na-ab-be2
a-ra-/ab-gig-ga\-[(X)]-e-ce


- Wisdom of the ages.
trauma at the culvers


but its very good food and if i wasnt always an hour+ away from one id rocket into morbid obesity

EightFlyingCars
Jun 30, 2008


Crusty Nutsack posted:

what neat secrets can you tell us? how much of that pot roast do you go through, like 3 sandwiches a day? did anyone eat custard directly off the chute? what's the most popular FOD?

Dunno about the pot roast but yeah we absolutely dug into the custard while it was chuting out (with clean spoons of course!). That's when it was best! Turtle was probably the most popular flavour of the day while I was there and that was during high school but it's probably not any different now

The mashed potatoes were really disappointing since they're all scooped out ahead of time and just microwaved to order, but it doesn't really matter because why wouldn't you just get the cheese curds anyway

EightFlyingCars
Jun 30, 2008


Culver's pork cutlet sandwich was fuckin S-tier

`Nemesis
Dec 30, 2000

railroad graffiti
The fish fry is pretty decent for a fast food place. Culver's is my go-to for most fast food cravings.

death cob for cutie
Dec 30, 2006

dwarves won't delve no more
too much splatting down on Zot:4
Culver's will do a marshmallow shake, which fuckin slaps

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
I've only been to Culver's maybe 3 times ever. When I had it as a teenager I didn't like it. It may have been because they burned the burger or I just didn't like the c(k)rusty burg at the time. But I've had it twice in the past year or two though. It's growing on me. I really want to get the custard but I'm always watching what I eat (yeah yeah I know culver's) and that's just another extra thing I could have a small meal of with the calories. However, I love frozen custard. Probably the best type of frozen whatever; be it ice cream, frozen yogurt, sherbet, etc.

I hate crinkle cut fries. For some reason I've never had crinkle cut fries that salt sticks to them. They're always dry and overdone. Probably because of the higher surface area. The best fry is a whole potato and one of those fry cutters like a garbage can crusher. Par fry them then fry them again at a higher temperature to finish them. Couldn't be easier.

I prefer regular cheese curds (just finished off a bag last night) but fried is the Wisconsin staple. You can get them at any bar although I doubt most of the ones I've had were actually made there. I want to try the Culver's ones though because gently caress it, cheese curds are the best.

drat now I want to go there. My stomach is hosed up right now though and I probably can't eat that much food or that type. I have to have a super bland diet atm. :smith:

quick edit: maybe I can just go there and get some custard. That'd probably be good for my stomach! I'll just use that as an excuse.

Pennywise the Frown fucked around with this message at 13:44 on Feb 5, 2020

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
Love to Culver. Only thing for me is if I’m going to have it I have to plan it out since I easily eat 2000 calories.

Dalris Othaine
Oct 14, 2013

I think, therefore I am inevitable.
If you don't want to board the full grease train you can usually find a side of steamed veggies like green beans or broccoli, too. I never would myself, but it's nice they have the option!

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


EightFlyingCars posted:

Culver's pork cutlet sandwich was fuckin S-tier

oooh that is a sleeper item! I should try it sometime

`Nemesis posted:

The fish fry is pretty decent for a fast food place. Culver's is my go-to for most fast food cravings.

because Wisconsin :)

Pennywise the Frown posted:

quick edit: maybe I can just go there and get some custard. That'd probably be good for my stomach! I'll just use that as an excuse.

yay! and I hear you about the curds, I prefer them fresh too. I actually don't get curds much at Culver's because I can get better ones at like every bar if I really want them fried

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


everyone worried about calories, the kid's meal might be a good option! You get a regular sized burger or a few chicken tenders, plus a small (not regular like the basket) fry OR applesauce. The drink is a small too, or get milk. You get a certificate thing for the scoop of custard, so you don't even have to use it right away I don't think.

Also just noticed that entree options for the kids meal include grilled cheese and a corndog! :eyepop:

EightFlyingCars
Jun 30, 2008


Crusty Nutsack posted:

oooh that is a sleeper item! I should try it sometime

Remember to get some horseradish on it!

Yooper
Apr 30, 2012


One reason Culvers doesn't suck is they don't permit absentee ownership of the franchise. The owner must physically be present, work, and log a certain amount of hours actually being there. So the old guy who's ringing you up might not be an ex felon but the store owner. I used to work for the company that made the custard machines. They used to ship us pallets and pallets of mix and we'd test different machine stuff. I literally made so much custard that I couldn't eat it for 10 years. Like a 55 gallon drum of custard. They've got a test restaurant in Wisconsin called the Blue Spoon Cafe that is really cool too.

For awhile they had icelandic cod fish fry and it was loving amazing.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Yooper posted:

They've got a test restaurant in Wisconsin called the Blue Spoon Cafe that is really cool too.

For awhile they had icelandic cod fish fry and it was loving amazing.

whoaaaaa how did I not know about this

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

Wisconsin Swiss melt. Not only a great burg, but from an immaculately clean restaurant that cleans the shake machine every day.

TheBizzness
Oct 5, 2004

Reign on me.
Culver’s rules hard. Only thing they do that I don’t care for:

Blue cheese on every god drat salad.

Their non-buffalo chicken tenders suck butt.

WEH
Feb 22, 2009

I prefer Kopp’s OP but Culver’s is also very good

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


WEH posted:

I prefer Kopp’s OP but Culver’s is also very good

well yes I have eaten Kopp's regularly my entire life but they are not a big chain that everyone can partake in. what do you think of the NEW BUNS?!

ANUSTART
Jun 26, 2013


ur jiri3-pax(PAD)-ra2 al-tukur2?-re
gu-du-ni an-na-ab-be2
a-ra-/ab-gig-ga\-[(X)]-e-ce


- Wisdom of the ages.
thinkimg about culvers......

`Nemesis
Dec 30, 2000

railroad graffiti

Yooper posted:

One reason Culvers doesn't suck is they don't permit absentee ownership of the franchise. The owner must physically be present, work, and log a certain amount of hours actually being there. So the old guy who's ringing you up might not be an ex felon but the store owner. I used to work for the company that made the custard machines. They used to ship us pallets and pallets of mix and we'd test different machine stuff. I literally made so much custard that I couldn't eat it for 10 years. Like a 55 gallon drum of custard. They've got a test restaurant in Wisconsin called the Blue Spoon Cafe that is really cool too.

For awhile they had icelandic cod fish fry and it was loving amazing.

That's great to know, I can see the blocking of absentee ownership being a major influence in how consistently good my experiences are at any random Culver's restaurant.

I will say though, I know a few people that have had a prior felony conviction and they are great people. People gently caress up or get screwed over, they can still be great.

Mill Village
Jul 27, 2007

Culver’s used to have a great pulled pork sandwich.

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timn
Mar 16, 2010
Culver's blew away my expectations for fast food when I first tried them like what are the other chains even doing

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