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jokes are when someone says something unexpected, when you expected something else |
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Feb 8, 2020 05:28
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 15:16 |
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a hot dog is a baby sausage
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Feb 8, 2020 05:47
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I wonder what a cold dog is like 
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Feb 8, 2020 05:59
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It's got chili on it. |
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Feb 8, 2020 06:00
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prepuce repurposed posted:I wonder what a cold dog is like in canada we call them husky, but not to their faces cause they are sensitive
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Feb 8, 2020 06:00
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Raw doggin' is when you use beef tartare as the main protein. |
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Feb 8, 2020 06:05
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football is like tag where whoever has the ball is it, and they try to get as far forward as they can without getting tagged, but just being touched doesn't count you have to basically kill the fuckin guy to tag him you can throw the ball to make the other guy it but if someone on the other team catches it then their team becomes it and their forward is the other direction if you go forward enough to go off the field then you get points, or you can kick the ball off the field to get less points but then you have to get it between the tongs of the big tuning fork you get four tries but if you can't run off the field in four tries the other team gets to be it and then they get four tries, and the game takes like three hours to play and you get bored watching it in like ten minutes |
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Feb 8, 2020 06:56
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Limes are just unripe lemons and pineapples are old apples. All fruit evolves, grapes evolve into spiders.
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Feb 8, 2020 15:58
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pixaal posted:Limes are just unripe lemons and pineapples are old apples. All fruit evolves, grapes evolve into spiders. similarly, baby deer progress through 4 basic stages of life after hatching. each winter they shed their antlers and form a cocoon, emerging in spring as a larger and tastier animal. if it does not fall victim to predation or starvation, the larval deer will appear next as a caribou, then elk then moose. some researchers say that antelope are actually the first stage in this cycle, but they have never been able to provide a solid answer as to why deer hatch from eggs rather than emerging from cocoons like all the other forms. deer hatches are a well-documented phenomenon, while no one actually knows where antelope come from
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Feb 8, 2020 16:48
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if you cook a vegetable it makes it taste good because you're showing it who's boss with the one thing plants fear - fire |
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Feb 8, 2020 18:47
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Radians are a measure of angles. Now the next bit is a bit hazy but I'm pretty sure that the point of radians is so that you can be smug to people who use degrees because radians have no unit symbol and are therefore somehow more pure maths. Radians were probably invented by some maths professor who got tenure for making up radians. |
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Feb 9, 2020 02:37
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pixaal posted:Limes are just unripe lemons and pineapples are old apples. All fruit evolves, grapes evolve into spiders. Bananas evolve into fruitflies, which is unfortunate But if you have enough grapes, the spiders will eat the fruitflies, because spiders are our friends |
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Feb 11, 2020 17:31
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Raw meat is like an evee, naturally it evolves into maggots, but in the presence of heat will evolve into cooked meat, or smoked meat depending on the method. If consumed it evolves into muscles a very powerful form.
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Feb 11, 2020 17:42
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ToxicFrog posted:Bananas evolve into fruitflies, which is unfortunate bananas and some other fruits give off a thing that's visible in the infrared spectrum, so bats can see them. this means bats lives are like a little video game where you see your power-ups glowing and stuff. this also means that if you see a bat disappear, they are just loading a different save |
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Feb 11, 2020 17:57
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Hugh Malone posted:bananas and some other fruits give off a thing that's visible in the infrared spectrum, so bats can see them. this means bats lives are like a little video game where you see your power-ups glowing and stuff. this also means that if you see a bat disappear, they are just loading a different save Is this why them sometimes turn into vampires?
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Feb 11, 2020 18:01
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yes and if a bat only eats part of a nana than its a vampire nana |
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Feb 11, 2020 23:09
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Chemistry is neat, you work with chemicals but also you are responsible for responsibly working with chemicals that might be dangerous or unhealthy to handle (you should read the material safety data sheet is what I'm saying)
WarMonger fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Feb 13, 2020 |
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Feb 13, 2020 10:01
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Cats, I don't get em. I have a stray that I trained to tolerate being petted, but sometimes it grabs my hand and initiates a licking procedure. It's not aggressive but at the same time I think the cat is putting me on notice. |
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Feb 13, 2020 10:20
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economics is simple look at this graphs. |
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Feb 13, 2020 15:45
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WarMonger posted:Cats, I don't get em. I have a stray that I trained to tolerate being petted, but sometimes it grabs my hand and initiates a licking procedure. It's not aggressive but at the same time I think the cat is putting me on notice. the cat is like "thank you for grooming me here it's your turn". it is a sign of love ans respect
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Feb 13, 2020 17:36
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Gravity- alright, you know what? gently caress dark matter. gently caress dark energy, too. It's stupid. it's magic mumbo-jumbo because saying "welp, we just don't know what the gently caress it is  " is too difficult to wrap your mind around when your mind in this case is the size of the universe now get over yourselves and quench your egos like one of those weapon smiths on Forged in Fire, but the ones that do it right and don't get yelled at out loud by the judges because they clearly did it the wrong way, screwed up the quench and now their blade won't keel because it BROKE like Isildur's sword and gather around kids, that's right- get sucked down into my gravity well and get comfortable and orbit for a bit because I'm gonna make it real easy for all the eggheads out there with their slide rules and their star charts and letters next to their education and explain to you what gravity is.Space/time is what happens when there's an area out there **waves hands out into the sky, but pretty far out there** that has virtually no matter present in it. When you add matter to an area of space/time that's pretty much empty **makes air quotes**, space is pushed out of the way by matter, like a grape in the middle of a jello mold, and time remains; that's why objects in space spin. Time. It matters now, because matter is there, but not space, and it has no clue at ALL what to do. So it just spins. Sure, sure- you're thinking "but, but- what about conservation of angular momentum?" and you'd have a point, but you should still shut the hell up about it because it's not the full story. Space doesn't like it when you push it around. None the less mass shoves it out of the way, because density and atoms and electrons and valence shells and molecular bonds; you know the drill. All that garbage tells space to piss off, and it does. But it can't do poo poo about it- so it just sits there and waits, it sulks- until some other mass comes near it. If the mass is small, then what happens is the shoved out of the way or, to save me some key strokes, the warped space entices the smaller object in with promises of sex and drugs and illicit music renderings, forcing it to smack into the larger body or burn up in it's atmosphere if it has one, to the amusement of space. It IS warped. If the object is a great deal larger though space is all like, "sweet- that old German guy was right, all that M is gonna turn into a metric fuckton of E and I'll be out of here at the speed of C because gently caress matter when it gets vaporized and me and time can be best buds again!" But you won't find any of THAT in a science book. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 13, 2020 19:35
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slowm posted:economics is simple look at this graphs. All you need to know is that, devoid of government regulation, the Free Market will invariably do the best thing for all.
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Feb 14, 2020 02:57
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An electric guitar is a device that uses magnetic induction pickups to 'pick up' girls and 'induce' them to go to bed with you, counteracting the natural field of repulsion generated by many guitar players. However, the earth's Electro-shredular field has been inverting since 1973, and since the death of Prince in 2016, has been so weak that there have been no observed instances of anyone getting lucky by playing 'Wonderwall'. |
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Feb 14, 2020 22:14
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 15:16 |
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Harry Potter was the original cast for Scar Face...
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Feb 15, 2020 00:38
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<3 
<3 Vanisher