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 Pokemon Edge Rising is a silly game. It was made in RPG Maker XP and is emphatically taking the piss out of edgy Pokemon fangames. It cranks the edge up to 11 now and then, but it's actually genuinely funny at times. It has a bunch of silly fanmade Pokemon that are ridiculous and stupid. It's great! Granted some times its jokes don't work, or land. Sometimes it even forgets to include the punchline and its just awkward, but mostly it's pretty good. It's also relatively short for a Pokemon game, never mind a Pokemon fangame. It does not do the dumb thing of having 18 gyms. It emphatically does not do the dumb Reborn thing of padding it further, by making some of them just straight up not count. This is mostly because it was made in 10 days by a very small team of around about seven people as part of a Gamejam in August 2017. A lot of its stuff that comes off lazy or low-effort is a lot more understandable in that light. There has been a few adjustments to it since, but just for bugfixing, no actual content updates. Oh and also it's Pokemon. I don't really have much else I need to say here, do I? I am going to make the hopefully reasonable presumption that if you're reading this, you know stuff about Pokemon. Table of Contents Crimson Town Hollow City Leader Iwatodai What Trubbish Route 667 Sharfeeto Blackheart City Leader Bill Edge Rising XP Bidoom Team Blade's Leader Magizard Leader Asshat Gnaf's Final Badventure Hate Rising The End of a Ledgend Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 00:08 on May 20, 2020 |
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Feb 9, 2020 13:59
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Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 21:57 on May 2, 2020 |
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 Simon and Garfunkel - The Sounds of Silence   Hello, darkness, my old friend...  Please support the official release! twenty one pilots - Stressed Out   Welcome to this horrible, awful world... My name is Kao. People call me the Pokemon Professor. Yeah, most of the intro is... well, what you would expect from a game like this, really. It takes itself about as seriously as you would expect from a thing that is also explicitly a parody as well. Obviously not all of the jokes work, or anything. Kao being "what if Oak was a complete coward, scared of his own shadow" is one that... really doesn't. B-but I like to think that they call me the "Pokemon Professor". I-if you need help, I can, uh, give it to you. Controls are the default for RMXP Pokemon Essentials stuff. Which is entirely my problem to deal with, because it does arcanely weird and stupid stuff like remapping confirm from Z to C. Because... uh, reasons? Adventure is a bit more useful though.  Please, stay away from people wherever you go, be it in towns, roads or caves. B-but... challenge people when you have to... A-and... if you're careful, you'll be able to stay away form people in need, stay safe, and stay ignorant... A-at times, you may be held at gunpoint... At other times, wild creatures may try to hurt you... S-so... just give people your money... H-however, maybe don't give people your money... J-just stay safe, okay?Thanks Kao, I know so much more now! That wasn't wafflingly self-contradictory at all! (this is one of the times his new characterisation works)  People and Pokemon tend to, uh, try to kill each other, but... Sometimes, people e-enslave and force them to fight one another. It's... uh, it's really messed up. Uh... don't know everythng about Pokemon. That's where I come in. I, uh, enslave Pokemon myself, o-out of curiosity... Er, this is awkward... let me change the topic of conversation. Let's be honest, here. I know you people, so there's really only one choi--  Oh, well then! Oh, uh, oh geez, uh, you're a boy. Yep. Y-you have to be a boy. Uh, so... wow. Anyway, what's your name? This one, we can change. Fang is the default, though, and we're leaving it as is.  And Pokemon also exist. I'd tell you the world sucks, but you already know that. S-sorry if you wanted to sit down and have fun in a fantasy world for a few hours. This world is serious business, and you need to take it seriously. Silence Ohey, it's Toronbo Shores from Link's Awakening! I've been playing the Switch remake of that lately. It's pretty good, honestly, even if the new gimmick of custom-made dungeons is kinda lacking. ...Huh? What was I doing again? Oh, right!  Ever since my dad left our family, twelve years ago... Life just... slowly began to lose purpose... And I began to think... Sports... movies... Pokemon battles... food... socialization... What point could there possibly be to... any of it? We merely do, to continue doing, pretending everything lasts forever, until, inevitably... We die, knowing that we'd lived an ignoble and purposeless life...Why, yes, Fang IS incredibly, absurdly melodramatic. All the time. Somehow it never gets old or grating.  Mostly because right off the bat, we meet The Best Character. Is there meaning in a world like this, filled with cruelty and injustice, every step of the way? Rocky road, then, got it. As I ponder these things, I realize... No matter how much I think about it, I am incapable of changing anything. So, perhaps... I should just continue my pitiful life, and... accept whatever fate of mine lies up north. Attack on Titan - Call of Silence  Alright. Alright. Now that we can see his dialogue portrait properly, I have to say: I love Fang's garbage cap. Among many other things, it has its flap on the side making it actively useless. It'd look garbage and stupid in reality, but on this edgelord, it really helps a lot.  So, I called Bro the best character before. I sure hope this prologue scene will make it obvious why. ...I'm thinking of our missing father. Wow, cool stuff. Want to order some pizza? Every single day, I think of where he could be. Why he abandoned us... None of it makes any sense. Cool, cool. Oh, yeah, the new Iron Quilava movie is on Redbox. Want me to pick it up? Maybe one day, I'll be able to meet him... You really are having a conversation with yourself, huh, bro? I will... become something great...!  I'll show him for running off on us! I mean, why do you even care? He's been so irrelevant to our growing up that you really shouldn't put so much effort into thinking about him. ...Because. Without a father, I... I...  It's as if something profound is missing from my heart. That makes no sense, bro. Based on modern psychology, you shouldn't have any problems, considering mom raised you with love and poo poo, y'know?Yeah, so, Fang takes the edginess too seriously. Bro, on the other hand, takes it exactly as seriously as it deserves: not at all. He is absolutely meant to be closer to the audience insert than Fang is, but the problem there is, well, the kinda people who want edgy grimdark Pokemon games absolutely would think Bro "ruins" it. They're wrong, of course, but that's not the point. ...Please, let me grieve. That's cool and all, but, like, could we just hang out every once in a while? Seriously, it's almost like you're I'm over it. probably have better things to worry about. What?! Yeah, man, look up there. Attack on Titan - Vogel im Kafig yeah its not the full track; just the last ~2 minutes  Oh, drat. We're gonna be orphans, bro. Impossible! This can't be! There must be some way to save her! Yeah, you're right, bro, we can do W-w-what do we do...?!   Wow. This is messed up. We need to stop this! Brother, can't we do anything?!I love the lowkey implication that he's called "Bro" because his name literally is "Brother."  N-no...! W-what am I going to do without mom?!?! I dunno, probably grieve more or something. ...You probably jokingly called this thing a Magizard. Or maybe a Charikarp if you were feeling generous. No, yeah, that's literally its name. And that is unironically great.   Time to go back to my home planet. Silence Oh, poo poo, man, did you see that? Mom, like, totally just died. ........ I mean, isn't that funny? Before that, we were talking about how you weren't a tortured soul and poo poo. And now you have an actual reason to be a tortured soul. Weird how things work, huh? Hahahahaha. I.. mother... I... I.. I will destroy... I... Linked Horizon - Guren no Yumiya  Silence Like all good anime, we've got a timeskip. This one skips us to when Fang is 17. This doesn't actually matter much at all, but it's fun to keep in mind. Yet my anger only grows greater... Except a supportive brother... A kind adoptive mother... And a charming friend... Also Tiffany. Every night I would cry myself to sleep... My blood boiling with hatred toward the monster that took mother away from me. Finally, after all these years, I will be able to get a Pokemon... With it, I will be able to hunt down all big Pokemon and SLAUGHTER THEM! I won't let them take another life. I will hunt them to my last breath! ... I mean, I guess this is a nice wall. The very thought of killing them has occupied my mind for an eternity. The idea delights me. All Pokemon that are big will die. Look, do you want revenge, or not? REVENGE! X Ambassadors - Torches  So, we've finally got proper control and are done with the prologue! We could've skipped most of that, but... why would we? Anyway, we need to get ready for our quest to But first, let's talk to Bro!  Yep, that's right. Five years. Fiiiiiiiiiive whole years. Whew. Sure feels like it's been a long time, eh? Just look at you, bro, you've changed so much. You don't at all look like the guy that was there just a scene ago.Thanks Bro. We know that he wasn't on about the fourth wall before, now, but... it's a believable enough idea. It totally fits him, though. Let's talk to him again.  The Arbok eats the Rattata. Anti-jokes are the best, aren't they? Hahaha. Yeah, I don't get it.Same. Let's just see what else Bro has to say.  on Redbox. You'd think there'd be a little variety in people's entertainment choices, but it doesn't seem like it. They just want to experience the same kinds of stories, over and over again, never wanting to try something new. Just like how, for example, a video will happen. Just an arbitrary comparison of mine. Hahaha....Y'know what, I'm gonna keep doing this now. Just because.  It's really exhausting to just constantly talk at you, hoping you say something back. Huh? What? What have you been saying? ... Have you been ignoring me this entire time? Let's just get our Pokemon already.And now we're done with Bro. Fang doesn't even answer his last question there. The jerk. Before we head downstairs, there's two more folks up here to chat with.   One day, I'm going to be a responsible adult. Hahaha, classic Tiffany.Unlike Bro, Tiffany here only has this one bit of dialogue. What about your man in the corner?   It's called Pokemon Hope Rising. Ew. Sounds cheerful. Well, duh. It's meant to be a parody. Oooooooooh. Okay.Mako also doesn't have anything else to say just yet. But if you guessed the dude with heterochromia, a portrait, a name and a fedora would be important...  prestined champion, Mako. Yeah, you saw this coming. Nice of it to tell us in flavour text right off the bat like this, though. He's always loyal, even when he's swarmed with attractice (sic) women. And men. He gets a lot of dates too, and stays loyal. What a great guy he was, able to defeat the Elite 4 with one move. Not the trainers, the building. And when he knocked it down, he built  Ghetsis came, hard. So Mako killed him with only a beautiful look. But not before causing all of Ghetsis's Pokemon to faint with his rock-hard abs. Arceus tried to challenge him, and, well, one look at that fedora, and Arceus begged him to be his master. Most Pokemon hate being captured. But if it's by Mako... They beg for it. Arceus had to lock himself in the void to keep his desires under control. Yeah, uh, so if this was any other game, this'd be a bit much. Fortunately, in-context, it's an obvious pisstake of fangames that add in OCs that are meant to be "cool" and "badass".  ...Also, there's little bits of text for a bunch of things, but most of them are just kinda irrelevant. Nice to see Fang knows what's up. Is this character development?   Glad to see you around! Usually, it seems like you're too busy contemplating life to talk to me, dear. You're not my mom. Don't talk like you are. Ohohohoh, yes, yes, I understand. It was very hard for you to lose your mother. You got very, very depressed when it happened, and it seemed as if the spark in your eyes just vanished. Could you please try not to force me to relive that? Hahahah, oh, you. Anyhoo, feel free to give me a visit and I'll heal your Pokemon for you. You may be able to heal my Pokemon... ...Yeah, uh, okay. Let's just leave NotMom be for now. We don't have any Pokemon to heal, after all.  blood ~ So, our first town here is very fitting in that its named after a shade of red. There's a few folks around to talk to, but not too many. Thankfully. This IS the starting town, of course.   Man, game mechanics are incredible!It's a very small thing, but (as far as I remember) every actual Pokemon game has a guy in the starter town that talks about how good and cool tech is. Edge Rising cares enough to include that detail. Sometimes it's the little things that let you know you're in for a good time.  Yes. It.. was sketchy, but it seems that perhaps there is good in this world yet.We could talk to the Old Man again, but we're good. He's out of candy, after all. What about the house next to him...?   I left the door open specifically for you, my love. Are you ready to have the time of your life?...I need an adult..? quote:
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..Yeah, so, if we talk to him, we just get thrown out and the door gets locked.  There's nothing else of note in here, but we can find something nonspecific on his computer upstairs. I say "nonspecific," but you know what it is from context. MOVING ON   Killing makes me feel good. My friends all told me that it's not good for me to kill. So I killed them. Last, we have... this excessively anime lady over by our abandoned and ruined old home. Also her name is typo'd here. It should be Yahn Deer.  T-too shy... t-too shy to talk......Yep. What's that thing over in the corner?  Ah, it's our mother's grave. Unlike at least one other Pokemon fangame, that wants to be taken seriously no less, we don't even get an achievement for this. What a ripoff!  Nothing left to do but get this free Potion hidden in a rock.  Also there's this shady guy. He sure exists. Mozart - Lacrimosa (Requiem in D Minor)  I was worried that weird guy outside was going to try to steal a Pokemon again... Says he's my assistant or something... You know what I want. Today, I get to become a Pokemon Trainer! I will be able... To DESTROY all of the big Pokemon! I-I had to get them legally approved for you, sorry... Unacceptable! Revenge does not wait, old man! Any longer, and you shall be punished! Oh, dear... P-please don't hurt me, young man...   ...But, Fang, you are an orphan. You love to wallow in the deep, edgy misery your depressing backstory gives you! O-Oh dear, I'm sorry! Just... uh... Bitch, you wanna fight me? I'd break YOUR legs, too, but I don't waste my time on bit characters. Mmmmm. got somebody in a corner. That's a new record, bro. I'm proud of you. To be honest, I wouldn't be getting a Pokemon under normal circumstances. Problem is, being stuck in a town with Still, I'm going to treat my Pokemon with the respect I treat my brother. And just like my brother, I doubt it'll even listen to me. Yeah, about that. I'm not giving him a Pokemon. Excuse me? You better change your  I, uh, I think that's not helping by proving Eulb to be exactly correct. Also, yes, Eulb. You probably saw that coming considering we have Professor Kao and all. D-do what he says, Eulb! I don't wanna die! ... Wow. Classic Fang. You know, pal, at least you can get Fang to have a conversation with you. Huh? What are you saying? I'm sorry, I was paying attention to your brother's disgusting face. I'd say their face is pretty alright, but, hey, it's all a matter of taste. Wow, the atmosphere in here is friendly. Since we're not in any particular hurry, I think I'll take a few minutes to admire the lab. Just chill, and take your time picking out your Pokemon. Everything's gonna be fine.So before we look over our options, we'll take a quick second to talk to everyone. Starting with Bro, of course.  I would know. You've kept me around for so many years, after all. Kao is thoroughly useless, so I don't know why we even bothered. Oh well.  door. If you say another word, I'm going to turn you into a pile of bones. Better a pile of bones than a shell of a man, like you. ...! O-oh my god, please stop, Eulb. I don't want to die today! ...Tch.Okay, so now we'll look over our three options. Yes, just three. Like a normal pokemon game. We only have three options!  Riolu is a Riolu. Pure Fighting, evolves into Lucario via Friendship because it's a baby. You know the deal with it, probably better than I do. Can't say I like Lucario much, personally.  Zorua is also a Zorua. Pure Dark, evolves into Zoroark at some point or another. You know what its deal is too, probably. I doubt anyone reading this doesn't know anything about Pokemon.  Rattastic is a pretty common ol' Rattastic. Psychic type, evolves into a Psychic/Dragon later. All very standard. Honestly, the only subtle twist here is that all three of our starter choices cap after evolving once.  Obviously, we're taking this completely normal rat. You know its deal, really. I probably shouldn't be allowed to nickname things, but I have unlimited power and no-one can stop me!  best. With this Pokemon... I can finally avenge my mother! I can use it to slaughter every big Pokemon! Eh, I guess I'll take one, then. I've always wanted a cool looking magical fox. My character arc is now complete. You two aren't the only ones getting a Pokemon today. I'll be taking one for myself, as well.So, we got Rattastic, Bro got Zorua and Eulb got Riolu. This is probably the closest to an easy orientation here as we can get, thinking about it. Yeah, the balance doesn't work because Dark nulls Psychic and all, but I doubt we'll be fighting Bro much so it's not as big a deal as it could be. Although, considering everything else, we do have to contend with the good odds that there'll be Approximately One Million Dark Types between now and the end. So there's that too.  ...But, we do have one last thing to do in here. Of course we do.  If you think you can walk away so easily, I don't think you understand how this world works. Now that I have a Pokemon of my own, we can can actually fight. So what? I don't need a three-eyed rat to punch you in the face. Hahahahahaha. I don't think you understand. Is that a thing? That's what we're going with, here? I mean, even with morality and junk completely ignored, it still makes no sense. Economicall speaking, it's better for there to be more trainers to buy Pokeballs and Potions. If you kill every trainer off after beating them, isn't that a big kick in the nuts to the economy? ...Achem. As I was saying... If I win- which I will- I can kill you. OH GOD THEY'RE KILLING EACH OTHER PLEASE ARCEUS SAVE ME I'VE BEEN A GOOD BOY I PROMISE AHHHH Don't you worry, gramps. It'll alllll be over soon. drat, this is some messed up poo poo. You know, we could all just chill and watch Iron Quilava together. There doesn't have to be any killing or junk around here. Let's get along, children. Prepare yourself, Fang! Your first and final battle has begun! Evanescence - Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) lets be real here: it was a question of "when" not "if"  Ah, it took perhaps too long to get to this point, but we've finally got our first battle. Seriously, one of this game's major flaws its that its script is in dire need of an editor. Just like every other Pokemon fangame, really!  Anyway, we start at level 10 instead of 5. This matters since it means we get to start with Confusion (which, as you know, is normally learned at level 9) instead of just Quick Attack. How nice.  Since we have both STAB and a type advantage, this is... very uneventful and easy. Bad RNG meant Eulb's Riolu lasted on like her last hit point but a Quick Attack deals with that.  If only he was smart enough to not let Bro pick second. He could've avoided this.   We get money for winning like normal. I see Eulb uses 16*Level for his formula. Lacrimosa Wow. What a surprise. I won. Y-you've got to be loving kidding me... Here... t-to... him?! We could not, sure, but let's be real here. This is a non-choice.  There's no animation or anything. Eulb just becomes a skull on the floor, and we snag another $200 from his corpse. So, we get paid twice for winning. Not too shabby, that.  No mercy. Y'know, so much for having a rival character, am I right? You probably totally just hosed up the professor's life, just saying. aaAAAaaAaaAAAAaaa... Fun stuff. I SHALL... DESTROY ALL OF THE BIG POKEMON! Torches A real good cause and stuff. Not at all selfish, or bigoted. Totally motivated by a genuine desire to help people in trouble. Not by some ridiculous, convoluted desire to get revenge for what happened to mom. This is going to be a morally reasonable adventure. ...Yes. Anyways, adventure. Neat. You go do your fun revenge thing. I might follow you around or something. You go on ahead. I'll catch up in a second.Sounds like a plan to me. So, next time we'll leave this tiny town with literally four buildings in it. One of which is ruined and dilapidated, so its more like three. What happy, morally responsible things await us in our cheery future? Only one way to find out! Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Mar 20, 2020 |
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Feb 9, 2020 13:59
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Finally, someone is doing something OFS doesn't have the scrotum to do 
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Feb 9, 2020 14:12
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...Wow. Just... wow. Strapping in for this one, folks. 
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Feb 9, 2020 14:30
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Finally, a Pokemon game for adults
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Feb 9, 2020 14:49
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Ah, a good game
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Feb 9, 2020 15:07
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Devote your hearts?
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Feb 9, 2020 18:57
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Bro is amazing, so far. I hope he sticks around forever.
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Feb 10, 2020 13:21
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i have so many questions that will never be answered
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Feb 10, 2020 13:49
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I am both thoroughly entertained and massively horrified so far tbh.
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Feb 10, 2020 15:36
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...oh dear.
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Feb 10, 2020 17:23
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You're right, Bro is the best character. Also, I must say that I love happy, upbeat stories like these. This looks like a real gem of a game. This thing is going to be a massive train wreck, isn't it?
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Feb 10, 2020 17:43
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Can an image be made into a thread title?
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Feb 13, 2020 19:19
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 seems very appropriate.
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Feb 13, 2020 19:58
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Yeah okay, I'm game.
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Feb 13, 2020 20:37
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Torches We're pretty much done with Crimson Town now. There's a couple small things left to do before we move on for good, though.  First, we have this guy.  The gently caress do you mean, he said I wasn't his assistant? You little bitch, don't gently caress with me. I've killed so many people in my life, some know me as Kingpin. What are you gonna do now, huh, punk? You gonna kill me, eh, you little baby?Honestly, not much of a Daredevil fan. Or comics in general for that matter.   Anyway, we never did a Pokemon battle with this guy so that means we just committed murder. Illegal murder. I'm sure it'll be fine. Lacrimosa Before we leave, we'll take one last little look inside the lab. Purely because Kao was kind enough to move Eulb's skull out of the way. These are the only two things in the world that bring me happiness. P-please, just leave me alone! Oh, right. We could've seen this before, but it would've made no sense. ..Actually, hm, I wonder. Let's head back to the house we started in for a second then.  Fang gets a sneak peek at Hope Rising, but we sure don't. Rude. Okay, now we're done with Crimson Town for the time being. Let's just head on ou--   "Tee-hee!" "I'll do anything for you, senpai." ...Right, okay. I see she's living up to her name already. But this was definitely a bad target. He was a nice man! He gave me candy!  Also our rat is very fast. And, of course, good at Special stuff. Just can't let her get punched. Even though she resists punches. ...The colour-coding is backwards to what I keep thinking it is, because this is Speed up and Defense down. Yeah.  And now we can at least try to leave, before Bro stops us. We're so close! I can see the route from here!  If you're going to have a dark, vengeful adventure... Don't forget to wear the right kind of shoes! ...! These shoes...! With these shoes as my catalyst, I will be able to destroy everything within my path. NOTHING will stand in my way! Yes, brother...! Thank you! Now I can truly begin my quest! Cool.Okay, finally, NOW we can continue on! Maroon 5 - This Love  Oh, of course, our first route is 666. Of course it i--  oh my god are you serious right now  Also, that Eulb tried to kill you. That weirdo? Don't worry. I killed him instead. Nice. Sometimes, you just have to kill. That's how it works in this world. I've done a bit of killing in my days. After all, how else would I have become champion? Regardless, I came to congratulate you and your brother on your first Pokemon! But I can see Bro isn't here. That's a shame.Eh, it's fine. You must've passed him about 10 steps ago. Still, it's great that you will finally be able to avenge your mother's death, now that you have a Pokemon of your own. I can see that you have potential. How do those two things correlate? Don't ask questions, I'm a badass. Since you're such a promising trainer, I figured I'd get you something special. Ah, how nice. Got five of 'em, as per usual. Anyways, I have to go on a date. As the champion, I get a lot of dates. But don't you worry, I'm loyal, no matter how often I'm swarmed by attractive women. And men....Yes, well aware. I read your book. It was poo poo! I read it anyway!  Dammit Fang, he was leaving! We were free! Hm? How about a battle? Sorry, buddy, but we all know that I Besides, the unwinnable battle trope is totally overrated. Ok. Bye. How sensible. And, yeah, normally I'd groan about the whole "team of level 100s" thing if it wasn't so blatantly knocking on the fourth wall in-context. Anyway, yes, we're finally free to explore Route 666 some.  It is, uh, incredibly short and linear. There's three whole patches of grass here, at least. And a free (albeit hidden) Great Ball! We'll save this for something later.  Also we'll talk to this kid. He's clearly our tradtional Ledge Kid, in that he explains how ledges work. No one cares about ledges. But- gently caress off with the ledges. B-but... what else am I supposed to do with my life? I... my purpose... you just took all of it away... ... ...nobody... cares... ...about the ledges...Poor random Ledge Kid. Fang's kind of an intolerable dick when left to his own devices, huh. Final Fantasy VII Advent Children - Those Who Fight  So, before we finish up on this route, we'll take a quick look at all the many things we can encounter around here. Like this Wurmple. It's a perfectly normal Wurmple. If I had to guess, it's evolution will be locked into being Beautifly, since that is (by far) the edgier of the two.  Nice surprise is that this game is generous enough to do EXP on capture.  As a general rule, unless I specify otherwise, nicknames come entirely from me. You can tell because they're stuff that I find funny or dumb references to other things. Sometimes, if you're really lucky, both!  Mankey being available immediately is one of the reasons why I didn't bother taking Riolu by the way. But mostly it's just because I don't like Lucario.  She has one job, later, and that is to kick things very hard. That's because she's too low a level to know how to hit things without kicking them.  Of all the first route trash rodents, we get the one that I like the least. Figures.  I'll still catch it, though. Just on principal, if nothing else. I cannot guarantee I will ever use him, mind.  Ah, here we go. Another early game rodent. Squirro's pretty weak, all told, and doesn't even evolve.  But she's a completely normal squirrel, so that makes sense. Nothing fancy or unusual. Just a normal squirrel.  Also the requisite bird. And this time it's the best one!  ...I may have accidentally knocked out the first one, but that's not the point. The name'll maybe make sense later. Possibly.  And lastly we have an emo monkey. Much like with Yuri, I, uh, accidentally knocked one out and then spent far too long trying to encounter another.  They're not even that rare, as far as I can tell, but this game has a very strong desire sensor effect. There's one last thing available on this route, but it's in the water so we'll be back for it later. This Love So we'll just carry on towards the next area now, I think. That means we have to get past this small child.  My mommy's dead, and I have nothing to eat... My mother's dead, too, you little ingrate. I bet she's been dead longer. I'm so sorry, mister, I know how that feels. Misery is a contest, you know, and you're going to pay for trying to compete with me. W-what? Hope you have a Pokemon slave ready. I... h-huh...? Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) ...Yeah, uh, so. Remember how I said that sometimes it just forgets to have a punchline? How about times like this, where there IS a punchline but it's "Fang is a dick to an orphan." Yep. It's... not good, that one.  He just as a squirrel and a beaver, so he's appropriate to the "small child" trainer archetype but it's just... bleh. This Love Poor kid. We'll just... move further to the east, since I see a route gate over there.  Ah, also an evil Team member!  Why am I the bad guy? I don't know. I'm just a stock character. You aren't supposed to think about that stuff, brat. Now, I'm going to kill you! BlazBlue: Cross Tag Battle - SUSANOOH  ...Kel Maiselv. Not exactly subtle, but it's fine. Pretty sure Team Blade Members here are sprite edit of Team Plasma grunts? The Black/White 1 version, specifically.  Ah, his one thing is a level 10 Poochyena. Since I messed with chronology for the sake of combining all the wild Pokemon together, we don't have a monkey to one-shot it with a kick.  But it's okay, because we do have a Completely Normal Squirrel that can beat it without much effort all the same. This Love As a Team Blade member, I have no dignity left! I'll kill myself! ...Uh, that seems... abrupt. I mean, sure, if he didn't, Fang probably would've anyway but that's not the point.  I'm just gonna skip over these from now on, because it's pretty consistent about it. Oh, drat. He actually did it. Hm... Oh. Huh. That sure is an option.  And it gives us another $200 for good measure. That sure is something, I guess. Nothing else between us and the gate, though. Let's take a peek inside! Oneohtrix Point Never - Replica pitched down a bit in-game, which with how RMXP works means its running at ~50% speed  Oddly enough, this is something that does get explained. Kind of.  You wouldn't happen to have any... weapons, would you, little boy? I'm seventeen. That's very funny, young man.Once again, this is kinda relevant in its own way. Ties into the above, even. Yeah, I'm surprised too.  ourselves... But, now, people have gotten better at hiding them. What are we supposed to do? Go through our lives drug free? The very thought sends shivers down my spine.This one not-so-much. I think he's simply very thirsty and in need of a drink. Icon for Hire - Hollow music change #1 - normally the same track from the gatehouse keeps playing but i swapped this in instead  Because we're now in our second locale:  Hollow City!  ...Well, that's different.  Yeeeeah, man, I see that girl. And that pixie thing. You look like a talking dog. Wanna baaaaark with me, maaaaan? ...You're on drugs, aren't you?And that's just how the scene here ends. Yep. There's a lot of people to talk to here. Starting with this guy, even.  I said bark bark, I'm a shark.Also, yes, this city chugs awfully because of the perpetual rain because RMXP is quite bad. I kinda hope this isn't how it's supposed to be. I pray to God it's not normal.  Fortunately we can immediately dip inside this building, to have a real framerate and few someone's... financial records?    It's not my fault that other people can't act on their own base instincts. There's a reason I'm rich, and you're not.Ah, it was this guy's. Let's head upstairs an--   ...We were never here.  Because this game does bother to follow basic decency when it comes to area design, we have a Poke Center quite close to the entrance. Also there's this Trubbish sitting outside it. You mean Arceus? You know what I meant.Unless I'm forgetting something, this random throwaway line is the only time we get anything about Arceus being totally the Judeo-Christian God. More importantly, I can see an alley just opposite that house here so we'll head over there next.  Y-yes... I can feel reality escaping me... I'm entering a world filled with fun and adventure! Yes, YES! Heeyy man, I've got a buddy cop who probs needs his fix. Can you fetch him for me?That's not the dude in the guardhouse, by the by. We'll get to this later. First let's nip into the Poke Center since its right there and all.  I'm giving away free stuff, today! Would you like a free item? Yes. Ooh, this is very handy! We'll head back to Route 666 to give it some use once we're done here, don't worry. First, let's head next do-  Oh, Bro's here. And I think I see someone with pink hair over to the side as well. We'll go inside first.  So, uh, remember how sometimes there's just no joke at all? And it's simply just incredibly edgy?  I hurt my fingers cutting onions a while ago... It's okay, though, because I'm... I'm strong...  In exchange, they give me things I desire. If they ever stop doing what I want, I will kick them out. I could do the same for you, if you want. There uh...There is definitely at least one guy on the writing team who needed slapping upside the head once. Maybe twice. Ideally would have not been on the writing team at all. We'll ignore Bro and the other one for now. Up to the left of the Poke Center, we can find three more buildings. One of them is most useful indeed.   What is important is what it is I'm going to do. I'm selling ice cream. I'm sick and tired of the human worms that run our economy. So I'm going to run a business that's destined to fail and sell ice cream for half off. You better watch out for the storm, maggots. The storm that's to going (sic) wipe out the pathetic little thing you call your business. Would you like to buy some ice cream? Yes. According to its item description, this is basically just a Full Heal. Except it costs $100. I am very okay with that. Return when you're ready to help take down capitalism with me, by promoting capitalism.Not Important isn't the only one of his ilk here, though. No, he has a few friends inside this building so we'll see what's going on in here.  For years, we've been preyed upon by a society desperate or inequality and apathy. No longer. By selling ice cream for half off, we hope to show the world that all creatures are equal. Everything you want of mine, you can take. Everything I want of yours, I can take.That's... that's not how equality works.  All people are equal. There is no need for an economy, nor a need to own anything. From now on, you shall treat your Pokemon with the same level of respect it treats you. A few days from now, we're going to be selling hoodies. I hope that you will join us in the death of the economy... ...through your wallet.I'm really beginning to suspect whoever wrote these guys doesn't quite understand the concept they were attempting to badly mock. Call it a hunch.  I loving loathe capitalism. Every night as I sleep, I wake up, breathless, reminded that I live in a systematic economy. That's why I've decided to sell Awakenings for half off.Sorry dude, but you're kinda getting beaten hard on this front by Not Important.  There is a profound inequality that divides us creatures. An inequality that roots directly back to capitalism. All creatures must be treated equal. That's why I've decided to sell Pokemon capture devices for half off.$100 Pokeballs. Barring a need for anything else, I think I'll be getting all my balls from the communists. We can buy a lot, but it's annoyingly one at a time. Yeah. Bleh. The building to the immediate left here is thoroughly boring and irrelevant.  Next to it, we have the cop that kid in the alleyway was on about. He disappears in a fade to black...  Which lets us get another piece of candy.  Over to the other side, we have... the Meowth from the anime, I guess. Sure, whatever. That's a more relatively sane level of edgy joke than some of the other stuff we've seen.  Just gonna take a quick second to deposit some stuff into the PC. This Love Nipping back to Route 666 for a second, we're gonna do a bit of light fishing. The Old Rod only lets us catch one thing, but it's not what you might be expecting! Those Who Fight It's just a simple little fish is all. We, uh, we fail to catch this one.  But a second one? That goes just fine. Not bothering with a nickname though. Now we can head back to Hollow Ci-- Replica GET 'EM BOYS! I can't believe they beat me up and stole my fish! Guess we'll have to get a bit more creative about this then.  Oh my God! It's hideous!  (nickname this time comes from OtakuHackerSA (he tells me its a Digimon Cyber Sleuth reference)) I still caught it though, of course. We have an awful, bright red fish that is also a gun. We need to keep him...  Under Ghlock and quay. Hollow  She says... "block"...! In the name of our deity, we shall block this gate until She decides otherwise!Back in Hollow City, we can try to leave via the only other exit but... that's blocked off for now. In another move that's just like a real Pokemon game, it's a silly arbitrary block.  ...H-has anyone ever... ...H-has anyone ever told you that you look beautiful? Oh, I-I'm so embarrased! P-please ignore me...!Yahn is, well, Yahn. She's still just kinda here.  And that leaves us with Bro. Clearly the most important part of the city. Catch any good Pokemon on the way to the city? Remember, it's always okay to enslave defenseless creatures so long as it's for a good cause. Y'know, like, hurting other creatures. Speaking of which, I figured you've probably been traiing your Pokemon pretty well, so you might want to see how mine's doing. Oh, hello brother. ... Also, found this lying in a dumpster for whatever reason. Oh nice! The dex here is fairly small, so I'm gonna keep track of it in the second post. Now that that's out of the way, you wanna have a friendly Pokemon battle? This is completely optional, but we're doing it anyway. Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) ...Wow, Bro's battle sprite is... it's really bad. Jeez.  Aww, he caught a Bidoof. At least he level grinded it up to 10. But it's just a Bidoof, so we're not exactly in any danger here.  His Zorua might seem like a bit more of a threat, but here's the thing about that:  It's still at its base level. Our perfectly normal squirrel can very easily take it. Hollow Now that you've defeated the one Pokemon I had, that I didn't even really train... You're basically guaranteed to be  Speaking of killing... Aren't you, like, legally allowed to murder me now? Yikes. Well, it's not like you'd kill me. I'm your brother, after all. Well, I normally wouldn't... but he did just basically dare us to do it... So we will!  Did your brain fail to process the last five things I said? Eh, whatever. The less you remember about this exchange, the better. Anyways, I'm just gonna admire the city for a little while longer. Even though it's not as impressive as your ability to completely ignore everything around you.Ah, that's our Bro! He wouldn't die, even if we killed him!  We still can't leave the city via the north exit though, so that means we have to check out this place.  ...Oh, it's... it's the first gym. Well then! I think we should probably care about this just a tiny bit more than we have been so far? Pretty sure I know how fangames work. And there is quite a lot of red on the floor here... Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Feb 15, 2020 |
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Feb 15, 2020 15:55
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I found a Trubbish telling you that you need Jesus funnier than it probably actually is. I can see what you mean, definitely, about the varying quality between jokes and 'jokes'. Some stuff gets a chuckle, like Bro always, Fang's reaction to that Grunt actually killing himself, etc. But some just land incredibly poorly.
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Feb 15, 2020 16:25
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Trying to parody politics you don't understand is... uh, fresh. Now the real question here is whether the decision to parody is intended to be portrayed as stupid, or whether the stupidity lies within someone on the writing team. In this game, I really, really can't tell.
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Feb 15, 2020 16:50
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I found a Trubbish telling you that you need Jesus funnier than it probably actually is. Yeah, there's some stuff worth a laugh in parody here, but some of it really does go too far. Is some of it supposed to be straight satire? anilEhilated posted:Trying to parody politics you don't understand is... uh, fresh. Now the real question here is whether the decision to parody is intended to be portrayed as stupid, or whether the stupidity lies within someone on the writing team. I'm really not sure on this either. I'd really hope it's just for parody, but I'm questioning that being the case at this point.
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Feb 15, 2020 17:11
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A good parody, it's been said, is also a good example of the thing it's parodying. Where that leaves this game is kind of an interesting question.
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Feb 15, 2020 18:44
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I very much enjoyed the "ghlock and quay" pun.
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Feb 15, 2020 19:46
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The seller guys are a pretty direct parody reference to Hatred, specifically their speech is word-for-word taken from the main character's opening monologue, complete with calling themselves Not Important. Given that Hatred is literally the most edgey game to ever exist and has it's own weird not-quite-politics rambling from the main character, I think that's the main thrust of the joke there.
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Feb 15, 2020 19:55
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I repeat, oh dear. Most of this is just... not very good. Some of it is genuinely funny, which is enough to keep me reading for at least the next update or two, and I do quite like the look of the new pokemon including the completely normal squirrel, but most of it is one long yawning eye-roll for me at the moment.
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Feb 15, 2020 21:07
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I think you're taking some of the jokes a little too seriously, though some (Like most of the socialism jokes) just aren't funny.
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Feb 15, 2020 22:36
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Bro owns
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Feb 15, 2020 22:51
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The seller thing would be a lot better if it was just the one guy outside. Whether it's supposed to be absurdist satire or parody of something specific, it just drags on for too long. Taken in isolation, a blatant Hatred parody whose edgy plan is "I'll stick it to the elites by selling ice cream at half price! Checkmate, capitalists!" is not a half bad idea. But yeah, a lot of this game's humour seems to consist in depicting edgy situations and expecting the player to already be in the right frame of mind to laugh about excessive edge.
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Feb 16, 2020 11:02
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One-Punch Man - BATTLE!!  So, before we do the gym proper I'm gonna take a moment to get most of our team up to level 10. Purely so they're at the baseline, yeah. This means Tina here gets to evolve, of course, but unlike normal she only has one evolution path available.  I genuinely think this has managed to look less edgy than Cascoon. Though this also confirms that it's not gonna be a Beautifly, which is a shame. We'll deal with it, I suppose.  Just gonna push her up to her final form already, though. I don't really get the name here, since she's supposedly a locust. Pretty sure locusts don't exactly buzz. Cicada totally do, though. ...Anyway, we're not gonna be using her at all for the rest of this. I'm instead gonna be boring but effective, because I can.  Persona 3 - When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars (it runs at 50% speed here)   The gym leader is pretty lit. Don't even bother trying to reach him. You'll die. Also, I'd save if I were you.Hmm, nah, we're fine. We don't need to worry about that.  So, this is our first gym and it's pretty straight forward. That door to our right is an impenetrable wall right now, so we'll go left.   Soon enough, you'll find out. Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) Ah, I see she's a recolour of the Lass sprite. Complete with dodgy anatomy and a definitely-not-broken right leg. At least That Girl is a good Trainer Class name.  The actual fight here is really uninteresting though. She has 3 Poochyena. And that's it. When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars There must be some sort of mistake. Not gonna have too many problems with the fights here judging from this one.  It mightn't have been super easy to see, but there's a little button on the floor here.  This has opened the door over to the right, so we can go further in. Yeah, for a first gym this is a bit more involved than a normal game. Not to say that it's involved or anything, though; just relatively moreso than a regular first gym.  Also apparently the interior design is over a bottomless chasm? That's definitely a new one.  There's another door to the left this time, but first we have to deal with a couple more battles I see. Every day, morons like you try to come and defeat the leader. You don't understand the sort of pain he has to endure. Emotionally. That's why, I will end YOUR suffering right now. Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) Ah, That Guy is a Youngster recolour. His 69 shirt is very simplistic and that makes it quite Nice.  Unlike Nightshade, he doesn't just have two Poochyena. Though he does have one and it's pretty much nothing.  His second one is a Sneasel though! That's pretty cool, but it is quad-weak to getting kicked... When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars Emotionally. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to recover from this. How did that feel, emotionally? Go ahead, tell me.Nothing past this guy right now, so we'll take that path upwards first.  Gee, that sure looks like it'd be a happier place than where I am now. Would you like me to send you there? Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) Just the one this time, huh? Since he's Shadow, you might expect a gun...  But we get a rad little dog instead! This isn't really all that difficult a fight either, but it is quite annoying.  Little fella really likes to spam Roar. Just makes things take longer than they should, really. When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars needed... So, please... treat me with the same degree of respect. It's not as fun when they want it. Only thing beyond Shadow is another button on the floor. This lets us get past that door to the left here.  Probably didn't expect Team Blade in here, huh? I risked my life climbing over these walls and hising rom the other trainers specifically to wait here for you. Now, it's time for your life to end! SUSANOOH Harakiri here only has one thing as well, it turns out.  Unfortunately for him, it's a Pawniard. Which means he's quad-weak to getting kicked by a monkey. Ah well. He tried so hard and came so far. But in the end, it didn't even matter. When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars As a Team Blade member, I have no dignity left! I'll kill myself! Man, I love it when they do that. Just beyond there, we come to this very conspicuous room filled with so many skulls. Also this lady, I guess.  I just think Pokemon battles are fun! C'mon, let's battle! Bring Me To Life (Nightcore) Ah, an Ace Trainer. Who's an... Ace Trainer... huh. I can't even pretend this is normal, because this IS normal. Maybe not for the first gym, but still!  Oh, and she has a powerful locust.  Since it's Bug/Dark, we can't do a ton of damage to it in oneshot right now, but it doesn't hurt us much either. No, it didn't do 14 damage here.  As an ol' fashioned slugmatch, we have a bit of an edge. And it gives Very Nice EXP since he was a third stage and all. When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars Let's do that again sometime! The button here is in this very room; it's just to our left, even. You can see it there between the skull piles. It's right next to Fang's fantasically dumb hat in his portrait. And what's behind door number 3?  Ah, our gym leader. ...Iwatodai...?  That's quite the feat. I'm always hoping I never have to see anybody walk through that door. As a gym leader, I am require to end the life of those who challenge me and lose. And, if I lose, I have no choice but to die, myself. Which is different from every other fight so far, because those deaths were all optional! Wow, I sure am glad we waited until the very last second to learn this bit of information. I'm emotionally invested, now. I could delay this battle through more chit-chat, but I like to cut to the chase. Today, for one of us, this is the end. En garde! Maximum The Hormone - What's Up, People!   Houndour's the opener, eh? Rather notably, it's even a lower level than the one we already beat in here.  Unless something goes tragically wrong, Laffite has this though. She can solo this entire fight.  Her first Low Kick here doesn't quite get a oneshot, but it's super close.  9 damage from an Ember is not even remotely threatening. At least it's not Roar.  Second hit takes it down and... wait, hang on. It was in red HP. Iwatodai didn't use an item to heal it...?  ...Oh. He... he has no items. In fact, off the top of my head no enemy trainers have items! That's probably a result of the lack of time to fully complete everything, but I'm gonna enjoy it all the same.  Laffite levels up and is finally smart enough to know how to properly hurt stuff without kicking their shins. Since I don't plan on using her much, or even possibly at all, beyond this, I drop Focus Energy.  Iwatodai's second/last is the evolved form of our own edgy monkey. The, uh, the other one. I wonder where he got the Dawn Stone for this, though.  Ah, it's fast enough to go first. Punishment is a gimmicky move that apparently does more damage the more you're buffed. That's pretty neat, but we have no unconditional buffs yet so it's quite weak.  Relatively. 12 damage while resisted isn't that great for us. If he gets through Laffite, that could be actually dangerous!  Of course, we can bring it down to roughly 1/3rd its max HP in one hit.  Its second move rolled slightly lower so it only did 11. Which means we kick it really hard and win.  Pretty good EXP too, of course.  Which mean we've got our first gym leader beaten!   Nice money for once, too. Hang on, something about this doesn't seem right. Weren't we supposed to be doing something else...? When The Moon's Reaching Out Stars That... that didn't just happen... How?! I've been training with these creatures for YEARS! You just got yours about an hour ago! Well, if you took the time to actually train with them... ...you'd probably be in better shape then you were. ... ...NO! I CAN'T die! Martha NEEDS me! You... ...So, this was made and released in 2017. A little over a year after Batman v Superman. Let's beat that already dead horse some. ...huh?! ... Silence Don't swear, mom. Where is father...? Call of Silence    I haven't even seen Batman v Superman and this scene had already been memed to death, memed even harder into a state of being double dead and then some more for good measure long, long before I saw this. It wasn't funny the first time, it wasn't funny the next eight billion times and it still wasn't funny here. F-gently caress the rules... I'm not gonna die yet...! ...Yes, that is a gun he's holding to the side of his head. I know that's for visual clarity, but he's doing it all wrong. It goes to the forehead, jeez. You.. You're gonna be in a WORLD of pain..!Fang really is a FOOL!   Yeah, you probably saw that coming. A very obvious joke that had been made repeatedly for a decade before this game. Including being alluded to in Persona 3 itself.  ...Martha...  Life is nothing without our father... Silence Good night, sweet prince.So, that's our first gym done. And instead of a badge or TM, we got a couple of superfluous flashbacks and a pair of jokes that had already aged like milk before the game was even in development. Ayup.  Everybody in here will hate you for as long as you live. I hope you're proud of yourself.Eh, it's fine. They're already all dead. Hollow I heard that the gym leader died. That's probably because you beat them, right? Good job. I mean, your ability to beat a gym ...but at least you're getting something done!  And I was like, "oh, cool, our mom's name was Martha, too." Anyways, I just wanted to tell you to be careful, since these people are basically killing and stuff in the name of their deity... You should probably watch out for them, 'aight? I've got your back. Hm, so that was kind of an irrelevant waste of our time. Not sure why we did it other than because it was there. It did kill some time, though, so hopefully those weird guys over by the north exit have wandered off by now. Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Mar 21, 2020 |
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Feb 29, 2020 20:53
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Even if some of the jokes are outdated I'm giggling like a moron at this LP.
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Feb 29, 2020 21:09
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So there is this person named Martha that people are killing in the name of. Our mother, however, is also named Martha. And her death is the reason for us to go around killing people, to get revenge for her death. Hmmm....
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Feb 29, 2020 21:55
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I can't believe she's everyone else in the game's mom too.
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Feb 29, 2020 22:07
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I'm assuming the trainer Shadow is a reference to FFVI, what with him having a dog Pokemon that looks suspiciously like a doberman.
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Feb 29, 2020 23:15
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I am getting some TGT vibes from this writing. I have no idea how to feel about this so far.
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Mar 1, 2020 00:16
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Dragonatrix posted:
Ah, this actually does make sense. Periodical cicada have been called locusts due to their swarming habits.
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Mar 1, 2020 01:54
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 Since we've got the chance here, let's take a little look through an alternative timeline or four. Just because; we'll collapse three of 'em right sharpish though. Also jeez, this is the Emerald font which is the default. I've gotten so used to the FRLG one that I kinda think it looks bad now. At least here; it looks fine in its own game though.  Nothing tells you this as far as I can tell, but there's a handy quicksave feature. Which is mapped to... V...? Sure. Sure, okay.  We have three starters to pick up, so we'll get through these quickly. Fang has nothing to say for Riolu, but Bro...  There's something very, very... Man, how do I say it? There's something original about this rat thing. Likewise, Fang doesn't have anything to say about Zorua either.  For no reason in particular, I think I'm going to grab this stiff looking bipedal dog. So... it can sense other people's emotions? In this world? ...Yikes.Eulb's stuck with the Rattastic this time around, though, and of course he's an rear end.  I-it's a special Pokemon, I... uh... made it myself. I'm not going to ask.But that just makes two. I promised three.  And over here we can find our fourth of three starters. It's a bit of a secret though, so of course it's...  An Eevee!  I, uh, put it there for a reason.Nah, it's great. Of course we're taking an...   Eevee...?  But you didn't listen... Now you have to keep it. Sorry. Yes. Wow.Since none of these are obviously effective against Trubbish, it's not exactly clear what Bro'll take.  But he's the smartest person in the room, so he takes the Original Pokemon, Do Not Steal. Eulb ends up taking Riolu, which does have a type advantage (of sorts) on us for once. Well, after it evolves anyway.  This one line is the only thing that meaningfully changes before the fight. "Meaningfully" in this case is being used very liberally.  Eevee...?'s default moveset makes it very easy to lose this fight on purpose. Which we're absolutely going to do.  I got bored of spamming Toxic Spikes when he refused to hit me for a bit.  poo poo. As was the expected outcome, of course. Now, regret the day you ever threatened me or gramps! Die, Fang! Hold on. Uh-uh. Do me a favor, pal. Usually this is all fun and games to me. But I guarantee you, if you do that, So, for my sake, just chill, okay? ... And why should I listen to you? Heh. You don't want to know why, pal. Trust me. ...Fine. Hey, captain psychopath. You're off the hook. But don't ever bother me, or y grandpa again. Understood? Brother, I just realized, where might I find the big Pokemon? ... Get out. See you later, butt face.So, even if we lose to Eulb, we don't get murdered by him. Ah well, was worth a shot to see if it'd work. But... I wonder...  One last little "what if" here. What if we beat Eulb and then let him live. Heck, what if in this alternative timeline, we kill no one?  you out of your misery. W-what?! No! Don't you dare! I didn't ask for your mercy! If you want me to change my mind, I'd be more than willing to. ... Get out. You don't have to tell me twice.There's one last little part of this scene that changes even. This bit occurs regardless of how the Eulb fight goes, but it ties into our starter choice...  A real good cause and stuff. Not at all selfish, or bigoted. Totally motivated by a genuine desire to help people in trouble. Not by some ridiculous, convoluted desire to get revenge for what happened to mom. It's a living trash bag. I sure hope so. No offense, bro, but the last time you seemed to notice somebody was alive, it was mom. Right before she died. Anyways, adventure.Can't think of many times off-hand where this comes up, but Trubbish does get a few bits of dialogue unique to it. That's why Alt-Fang will be using it.  Oh, there's.... there's Sacred Ash right by our dilapidated old house. Like, right there, next to Mom's grave. Well then! We'll just skip all the way ahead to Hollow City next. There's nothing interesting in the interim.  This is something I just straight up missed before, but if we talk to this guy in the alleyway like 5 times in a row...   He just sorta dies from an overdose. Fortunately for Alt-Fang here, this doesn't even count as a death we caused.  Three things to actually do here, though. First is in our fight with Bro.  We're just gonna... throw it. This one's harder to lose than the Eulb one; I just took a level 6 Wurmple into this fight and nothing else. Still took a bit though.  And when we lose... nothing happens. We even get a full heal for our current party out of this. Can retry whenever, even.  So, we're 2/2 for not getting any negative repercussions from losing. How about Iwatodai, then?  See, this is why I don't like battling trainers. Hold on. I'll make this quick. Ah, a bright red screen, complete with generic violence noises and a blunt Game Over text.  And sure enough, it kicks us back to the title screen.  Okay, one last thing. If we take our gun out of jail, put everything else in a box and then leave town...  replacement. You've gotta learn to spread the love, kid. Or else.Okay, so we just got... something. This is a good way to prevent the game from just bricking itself, which is nice. What did we get?  ...Oh. A, uh, a level 20 Luvdisc. Yes. Level 20 sounds high for here, but...  Still a Luvdisc, though, so she's cold garbage. Especially with the Special Attack stat being reduced by her nature. Oddly, this thing isn't even in the Pokedex normally. Even if you get it here, it's not added to the dex at all. There's no other way to get it, no-one uses it, and it feels like it's part of that whole "running out of time" thing. If you hack it into a random encounter and catch it, its dex ID is listed as 370. Which is its National Dex number. The highest for the actual regional is like somewhere in the mid 70s. Yeah. Bit of an oops, that! Lotus Aura fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Mar 2, 2020 |
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Mar 2, 2020 19:40
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Bro is still the absolute best.
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Mar 2, 2020 19:51
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Wow. Literally everything about the alt timeline is cleverer and funnier than the main game (low bar, but still). The best way to enjoy this fan game is to not play it properly, go figure.
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Mar 2, 2020 21:07
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He may be Alt-Fang, but Trubbish will forever be canon to me.
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Mar 2, 2020 21:43
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Okay, I think I like this game now.
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Mar 2, 2020 22:38
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Murder and vengeance? What Trubbish.
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Mar 2, 2020 22:57
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