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Damo
Nov 8, 2002

The second-generation Pontiac Sunbird, introduced by the automaker for the 1982 model year as the J2000, was built to be an inexpensive and fuel-efficient front-wheel-drive commuter car capable of seating five.

Offensive Clock

Chained Kong: A Gorilla Denied His Homeland

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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Dreylad posted:

I really need to do some more research about all the crops government programs have produced, I know in Canada our federal experimental farms have developed a lot of cold-resistant cereal crops. I'm guessing that most of the poo poo we rely on to sustain ourselves were spun out of government research because capital would never be willing to take on that kind of risk, go figure

The University of Saskatchewan has a good fruit program, which started in an interesting way.

quote:

As director of the Dominion of Canada’s Forestry Farm in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Les Kerr’s primary job was to develop ornamental and disease-free trees and shrubs to be used as bird habitat and wind breaks. But in 1944, Les Kerr got sidetracked by cherries.

“He was supposed to be working on shelterbelt trees and not edible fruits, but he had crossed Mongolian sour cherries (Prunus fruticosa) to some northern varieties, and to hide his breeding program from the government, he would have farmers who were growing his shelterbelt plants also grow his cherry seedlings,” said Bob Bors, head of the U of S fruit program.

He would visit his trees, select the cream of the crop and cross-pollinate them. Presumably, he continued working with breeding these after his retirement in 1965, but the project remained a secret.

By 1983, Kerr’s clandestine work had led to some interesting cherries, but his health was failing and his program was in jeopardy of being lost forever. “He was dying in the hospital when one of his nursery friends (George Krahn) told him he should inform the university about his secret cherry program,” Bors said. Kerr agreed. He met with University of Saskatchewan fruit expert Cecil Stushnoff, mapped out which farms had his best material, and bequeathed the trees to the university. Kerr died about two weeks later.

Stushnoff and U of S technician Rick Sawatzky picked up where Kerr left off and began crossing his trees to northern European and Minnesota varieties, most of which were obtained from the Vineland Research Station in Ontario. That work yielded the 1999 release of the U of S’s first dwarf tart cherry cultivar, a cold-hardy dwarf cherry called SK Carmine Jewel. Since then, the university has released five others and is continuing to develop new varieties.

Their haskap program is also the envy of the world, as far as those things go.

They’re not going to solve world hunger, but I it’s good that someone is working on crops like these. It’s not good if monoculture fruits grown in epic scale strangle everything else. Even in Japan, which has relatively strong agricultural protectionism, American imports are pushing out Japanese citrus.



Haskap



This has been described as “like someone asked Georgia O'Keeffe to paint a blueberry bush”.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Some Guy TT posted:

did a mod sticky this or did someone pay money for that privilege

not really sure how many banana related posts we can make here is it cultural appropriation for the minions to say banana in a funny voice

I'm p sure saying banana in a funny voice is a universal cultural staple

It's a funny word

commie kong
Mar 7, 2019

post

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.


A truly beautiful post.

Banana question: I've done some cursory looking into plant factories and other climate-independent growing methods. How can or should we grow bananas locally or in post-climate change hell world?

Follow-up question: can you make exploding bananas like in SS13

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

T-man posted:

Banana question: I've done some cursory looking into plant factories and other climate-independent growing methods. How can or should we grow bananas locally or in post-climate change hell world?

The good news is that bananas aren’t too picky about climate.

As long as it doesn’t get too cold, they’re O.K.. They’re not like some other plants that are overly sensitive to heat or require particular humidity or seasonal variation*. They’ll just keep growing.

It’s already possible to fruit bananas outdoors in places as strange as San Francisco. With climate change, bananas will grow a little farther north.



Climate destabilisation will of course cause a net loss of productivity, but many other crops will fare worse.

*There’s an exception in fe‘i bananas. Pacific islanders domesticated an entirely different species of banana than the one that spread everywhere else. Fe‘i bananas grow well in the tropical highlands and nowhere else. Colonialism hit them hard and now climate change threatens. The banana belt will be pushed farther up the mountains, possibly disappearing entirely.

T-man posted:

Follow-up question: can you make exploding bananas like in SS13

We’ll be stretching the words “exploding bananas”, but yeah.

Gram for gram, dried bananas have three times the energy of TNT.

It is, however, more difficult to quickly release the energy in a banana.

What it would take to make an explosion is grinding dried bananas into a fine powder, suspended that powder in the air, and lighting it.

Such explosions have happened in facilities where flammable powders are present, including sugar, starch, coal, sawdust, and metals.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg7mLSG-Yws

Thermobaric weapons are a packaged version of the same phenomenon, delivering a flammable powder to the target, dispersing it into the air, and igniting the cloud.

Platystemon fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Feb 17, 2020

Barnum Brown Shoes
Jan 29, 2013

Bananas kind of suck, imo

Frumply
Dec 7, 2004








Barnum Brown Shoes posted:

Bananas kind of suck, imo

what the eff...

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I'm p sure saying banana in a funny voice is a universal cultural staple

It's a funny word

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8WvSGNEV24

Jewel Repetition
Dec 24, 2012

Ask me about Briar Rose and Chicken Chaser.

Barnum Brown Shoes posted:

Bananas kind of suck, imo

Mods?

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


this is the best thread I have ever read :hai:

Drunkboxer
Jun 30, 2007
he has no style
he has no grace

this kong
has a funny face

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Bernie the Snow Clown

Platystemon posted:

The idea that companies will develope fungus‐resistant bananas is fiction, but not for the reason you think.

First let’s talk about banana genetics. The joke about bananas is that they haven’t had sex for ten thousand years. There is a kernel (that’s a pun) of truth to that. Edible cultivars are sterile, almost by definition.

‘Gros Michel’ could not be bred with ‘Cavendish’ to get something that’s resistant to Panama disease.

However, the forebears of edible bananas were not sterile. We can go to the wild relatives of the domestic banana, breed within each species for fungus resistance, cross two species to get a seedless hybrid, and see how it performs. We’re not modifying a known tasty variety to be resistant to fungus; we’re pulling a slot machine handle and hoping to get something that tastes good and grows well.

Sexual reproduction is great, but there is another way. Clones can diverge through mutations. This can be accelerated with the atomic gardening that gave us the ruby red grapefruit (no, really), but it happens through the centuries regardless.

At around the time the (western) Roman Empire was a going concern, someone in the area of the African Great Lakes obtained a single banana plant. In the centuries since, bananas have flourished in the region. There are now some two hundred cultivars. The majority are picked green and prepared somewhat like a potato, steamed and mashed. There are at least a dozen cultivars that are specialised for beer‐making, the banana equivalent of cider apples. Ugandans eat a quarter tonne of bananas per person per year.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sK2MStmxWM

Here is what it looks like to make banana beer the traditional way. It’s more fun.

Despite the great culinary diversity displayed by East African highland bananas (EAHB), they remain extremely close genetically. Threats to the West’s favourite snack the Cavendish get all the press, but an epidemic in East African highland bananas could be this century’s potato famine.

Scientists in Uganda are working on diversifying EAHBs by finding fertile mutants.


To be clear, a “bunch” of bananas is the entire crop of one plant, not the “hand” they’re broken into at retail. So it’s like finding a needle in a haystack even with the best candidates.



Uganda isn’t the only nation reliant on bananas. Nigeria, Cameroon, Côte d’Ivoire, China, India, Indonesia, the United States, France (in Guadeloupe), Brazil, and Honduras also have breeding programmes.

So why did I say that companies weren’t going to create fungus‐resistant bananas?

Simple: these are all national efforts.

Let’s ask the big fruit companies what they think about research and development.

David McLaughlin, Chiquita’s senior director for environmental affairs said in 2003, “We supported a breeding program for forty years, but it wasn’t able to develop an alternative to Cavendish. It was very expensive and we got nothing back.” concluding “We concentrate on research into fungicides now.”

Oh dear.

Since then, they’ve backpedaled a little.


Chiquita may say they “never left traditional breeding” but they did sell their program to the government of Honduras. It has since had success.

Their first public release was FHIA‐01 ‘Goldfinger’. Some people think this will be the heir to Cavendish.



There are several contenders. FHIA‐17 has ‘Gros Michel’ for a parent.

Another way forward is genetic modification. This is faster than breeding and produces more consistent results, but like the Chiquita guy said, it spooks Western consumers. There is still a way to use modern biotech in a limited way by breeding bananas the old fashioned way, then looking at their genes and seeing how they turned out in important areas. This saves a lot of time over putting seeds in the ground and waiting till they mature.

It was incredibly stupid for the big fruit companies to shutter their breeding programmes.

Ugandans cannot afford to be so precious about their food. They’re genetically modifying bananas to be a better source of vitamin A.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUUpi7LHBbc

There is western‐funded opposition to GMOs, but it’s tough to argue against “not going blind”.

Here’s a trial of a fungus‐resistant strain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1TvpXKplns

They are using genetic modification to protect the crop they need to survive.

The great threats to the West’s favourite fruit are, in the final sense, ignorance and greed.

I want to read a detailed history of the banana now

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
Bananas are bad. Trash tier fruit

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

Platystemon posted:





This has been described as “like someone asked Georgia O'Keeffe to paint a blueberry bush”.

:perfect:

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Crane Fist posted:

Bananas are bad. Trash tier fruit

typical tankie opinion ergo wrong

fabergay egg
Mar 1, 2012

it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'


are there a relatively well known suite of mutations responsible for the desirable traits of domestic bananas? reduced/no seeds, larger size, more numerous bunches, whatever? some work has been done into de novo domestication of wild tomato species. if people were willing to stomach gmos then hardy and resistant wild species could be domesticated within a few years time, potentially.

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

T-man posted:

typical tankie opinion ergo wrong

Bananas are counter-revolutionary, while we attempt to bring humanity to it's noble destiny among the uncorrupted stars the banana-likers are content to squat among the apes, consuming their relics of our brutish forebears

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Crane Fist posted:

Bananas are counter-revolutionary, while we attempt to bring humanity to it's noble destiny among the uncorrupted stars the banana-likers are content to squat among the apes, consuming their relics of our brutish forebears

Yeah! Bananas are nature's turds. Not even a fruit just a giant deformed bean.

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 239 days!

Crane Fist posted:

Bananas are counter-revolutionary, while we attempt to bring humanity to it's noble destiny among the uncorrupted stars the banana-likers are content to squat among the apes, consuming their relics of our brutish forebears

If you read the thread you might have caught on that bananas are not, in fact, actually something monkies ate in trees. They're the result of humans cultivating nearly inedible plants. They're no more a natural thing than your phone or computer, and the only one content to squat in ignorance is you.

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
::greatgift:

Gareth Gobulcoque
Jan 10, 2008



This thread is bananas.

B - A - N - A - N - A - S

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnsBpIJbXzE

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
Fond memories of the Vicas LP of DK64 where you can hear him slowly going insane as he 100% completes it

Then follows it up playing Super Mario 64 with his feet and showing obvious relief

World War Mammories
Aug 25, 2006


Crane Fist posted:

Bananas are bad. Trash tier fruit

MODS???????

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
To solve the banana crises facing the world we need to look beyond the simple breeding schemes we have in the past. It's time to bring the power of machine learning to tame the mighty banana. My fruit-based neural net will analyze all data that exists about bananas and create the ultimate treat, one finally able to stand and fight King K Rule on its own instead of waiting to be saved by Donkey Kong yet again.

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Hodgepodge posted:

If you read the thread

I will never do the homework

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

AOC joins a DK64 stream

https://youtu.be/_mvYUaZYtJk

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

Hodgepodge posted:

If you read the thread you might have caught on that bananas are not, in fact, actually something monkies ate in trees. They're the result of humans cultivating nearly inedible plants. They're no more a natural thing than your phone or computer, and the only one content to squat in ignorance is you.

Yeah well then why do they fit so great in my hand, like they are meant to be there?



Follow-up question for the wider thread, could we breed bananas that have grooves on the outside of the peel that fit my fingers even more perfectly, so I don't lose my grip when I hold them while running?

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012


Jasus Christ posted:

Yeah well then why do they fit so great in my hand, like they are meant to be there?



Follow-up question for the wider thread, could we breed bananas that have grooves on the outside of the peel that fit my fingers even more perfectly, so I don't lose my grip when I hold them while running?

i read this as bread bananas and now I wanna make banana bread

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 239 days!

Jasus Christ posted:

Yeah well then why do they fit so great in my hand, like they are meant to be there?

just got off the phone with Him and that part was actually God

Rand alPaul
Feb 3, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo
Banana bread is amazing.

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019


I can't overstate how much this made me laugh

Marx Headroom
May 10, 2007

AT LAST! A show with nonono commercials!
Fallen Rib
didnt think id learn this much about bananas today

Rand alPaul
Feb 3, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo
Someone please try to make your own banana beer and report back to us. I don't know where to get sorghum.

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 239 days!

Jasus Christ posted:

I can't overstate how much this made me laugh

the avatar of humanity, taking the fight to the reptilian mind of reactionary capital

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Jasus Christ posted:

Follow-up question for the wider thread, could we breed bananas that have grooves on the outside of the peel that fit my fingers even more perfectly, so I don't lose my grip when I hold them while running?

I don’t know of any fluted or chequered bananas, but there some weird shapes out there.





‘Pitogo’ has little spherical fruits.





Fruits of the ‘Praying Hands’ cultivar have their peels all fused together.

HashtagGirlboss
Jan 4, 2005

Rand alPaul posted:

Banana bread is amazing.

They should rename it banana flavored walnut bread. I know it’s longer but that would hopefully make idiots stop making it without the walnuts. Too many people do this

Rauros
Aug 25, 2004

wanna go grub thumping?

Rand alPaul posted:

Someone please try to make your own banana beer and report back to us. I don't know where to get sorghum.

Bob has you covered

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Edmund Sparkler
Jul 4, 2003
For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

gently caress walnuts.

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