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my 3 yr old told me I’m the king of humans and I replied we should abolish royalty and we are to be equal she’s too young for this book probably https://archive.org/details/StoriesAboutLenin
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Sep 20, 2020 17:29
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Taking every opportunity to poo poo on royals and nobles is probably a necessity given Disney
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Sep 21, 2020 03:08
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Found out we are having a girl, felt her move for the first time last week Utterly terrified and yet so excited
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Sep 21, 2020 03:14
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i played green jellos three little pigs for my daughter today and her response was "this is terrible, only horrible parents would play this for their kids" and i had a moment of reflection
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Sep 21, 2020 04:15
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hell yeah whats up terrible metal parent bro
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Sep 21, 2020 04:50
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My kid's been demanding I play LazyTown's "You Are A Pirate" song/video every time we go to the playground and, honestly, I think she may have found a viable career at three.
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Sep 21, 2020 11:29
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Good soup! posted:Found out we are having a girl, felt her move for the first time last week Congrats! Aa the dad of a two-month-old, my advice is to read whatever baby books you can to cut down on surprises (there will still be plenty). That's basic advice everyone will give you, so here's the real secret: as you read, remember all this advice is being dispensed by someone who only has to deal with individual kids for a few hours at a time and doesn't have to decipher why that child is screaming bloody murder at 2am in real time. So feel free to ignore anything that seems stupid - in my case, this was every book I read treating pacifiers like a gateway to alcoholism.
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Sep 21, 2020 11:39
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Spoondick posted:i played green jellos three little pigs for my daughter today and her response was "this is terrible, only horrible parents would play this for their kids" and i had a moment of reflection lmao she didn't even want to do the not by the hair on my chinnie-chin-chin part?
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Sep 21, 2020 13:20
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Ninety percent of the time my almost three year old forces us to listen to lion king or frozen soundtracks over and over. The only time she doesn't is when I take her downstairs to workout and I play RATM or something like that and she insists I put her in a dress so she can dance to it.
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Sep 21, 2020 13:35
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Good soup! posted:Found out we are having a girl, felt her move for the first time last week
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Sep 21, 2020 14:25
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Word to the wise: in the age of Covid, don't blow out your voice doing a lovely Christian Bale impression while reading 5-Minute Batman Stories to your kid.
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Sep 21, 2020 14:56
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quote:Kid: Dad, your hair looks like Jon. This just happened. Also my 10 yr old did a fist pump when I told her Donald Trump was in hospital with covid I'm buying them both accounts lol
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Oct 4, 2020 23:36
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ahahaha my daughter was having a really tough time getting out of bed friday morning and i told her trump has covid she kind of processed it for a few seconds and then said, very calmly, "that doesn't make me any less tired"
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Oct 5, 2020 06:30
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"dad, can you open this bag of cheese sticks for me? it's dummy thicc."
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Oct 11, 2020 00:06
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i was looking through my photos from earlier this year and found some from the beginning of february. my 8-year-old had asked me about primaries and i tried to give her a good rundown of how the process worked. an hour later she had built a polling location from magnet blocks and legos i told her i was impressed by how much interest she was showing in the political process but i was also a bit confused about this guy:  when i asked why there's a guy in a spacesuit knocking on the door, she replied: "oh he's trying to blow up the building because he thinks they're voting for the wrong person"  she later added police to arrest the bomber. also featured: another dude getting disenfranchised because he arrived too late 
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Oct 13, 2020 23:01
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whoa that's awesome i just find things like this 
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Oct 13, 2020 23:16
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Flavius Aetass posted:whoa that's awesome
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Oct 14, 2020 00:12
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Flavius Aetass posted:whoa that's awesome i fail to see whats wrong with this
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Oct 14, 2020 01:23
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I want to go to a blue room
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Oct 24, 2020 23:05
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Flavius Aetass posted:whoa that's awesome is that.... dickbutt??
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Oct 25, 2020 00:44
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i believe that is a centaur
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Oct 25, 2020 02:24
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"dad, what is cock?" jesus take the wheel
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Oct 27, 2020 17:36
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Flavius Aetass posted:"dad, what is cock?" lol, these kinds of parenting moments are great i was reading a children's book on telling time, and my 3-year-old told me she likes japanese cocks. pretty sure she meant 'clocks', but every time i try to correct her she insists on her pronunciation, saying it a bit louder each time. all i can do is pray they avoid talking about clocks during her distance learning classes  e: a few days ago my 8-year-old told me about typing in 80085 on a calculator. i played dumb, and it was so fun watching her struggle to keep herself from laughing as she whispered the joke to me (she didn't want her innocent younger siblings to overhear).
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Oct 27, 2020 19:44
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tell her about 5318008
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Oct 27, 2020 19:59
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Flavius Aetass posted:"dad, what is cock?" my 4 yr old wanted to take my wife’s uterus and take an egg from her so she can have a baby biology talk with preschoolers is wild
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Oct 28, 2020 00:26
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i got an email from my son's 1st grade teacher apologizing for the inappropriate stuff in the class's Teams chat window. i chuckled and opened the chat, expecting to see kids spamming the word butt or something instead i got treated to someone claiming to be in their 60s hitting on the kids in the class, sending creepy pictures, and asking to talk about sex. there were also a bunch of audio files i didn't click on. thank loving god my son can't read. i am pretty shaken at the moment, what the gently caress distance learning loving sucks! e: edited a few of the details out U-DO Burger has issued a correction as of 01:40 on Oct 28, 2020 |
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Oct 28, 2020 01:16
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Welp guess I'll be homeschooling my kid for the next few years. That's horrifying. But seriously, I need leftist homeschool materials for Pre-K, or at least materials that aren't riddled with religious bullshit (liberation theology might be okay). Between the virus and the inevitable return of mass shootings and DeVos just chainsaw-loving the curriculum, I feel like it's insane to send a child to school. It's like sending them to loving Hogwarts now. Organic Lube User has issued a correction as of 04:00 on Oct 28, 2020 |
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Oct 28, 2020 03:56
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my 3-year-old was coloring a picture of baby shark and she came up to me and proudly showed me her work "look daddy, the baby shark is swimming with her family! they are happy, swimming together in the Blood Cave."  she really likes talking about blood Organic Lube User posted:Welp guess I'll be homeschooling my kid for the next few years. That's horrifying. please let us all know if you find something that works. i'd definitely be open to homeschooling if my wife and i didn't have work. who knows? maybe one of us will get fired soon, and we can try to take charge of their education. even discounting that super creepy incident, we've been having issues getting disconnected from class randomly. my son has taken advantage of this situation, and he's started ending the calls himself and claiming he got disconnected instead (and then asking to play video games lol). we can't hover over him the entire time class is going to ensure that he isn't doing that, and i don't like feeling suspicious of him every time he says he got disconnected. it's not fun!
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Oct 30, 2020 19:25
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Wife is feeling this kid kick and move, and I mean move Wife: hey she's kicking again Me: oh cool lemme see Kid:  and 
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Oct 31, 2020 03:57
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Good soup! posted:Wife is feeling this kid kick and move...
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Oct 31, 2020 04:06
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Remulak posted:My kids are now 18 & 21, and yeah, most parenting is just repeating the same frames with different backgrounds. It’s good you understand this now. lol
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Oct 31, 2020 04:07
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Remulak posted:My kids are now 18 & 21, and yeah, most parenting is just repeating the same frames with different backgrounds. It’s good you understand this now. lmao
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Oct 31, 2020 06:30
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can trump during a possible lame duck get rid of the time change? kids dgaf about it
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Nov 1, 2020 13:24
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my daughter had an assignment where you assign emojis to emotions and the one emoji she asked for help with was the thinking face emoji. i had no idea how to respond because all i can think of is  i dont think i've ever used that emoji the way it was intended lol
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Nov 15, 2020 00:22
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tfw U-DO Burger is helping with homework:
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Nov 15, 2020 00:47
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4 year old is currently obsessed with the Moomins, has declared her name is actually Little My and is refusing to respond to her actual name. She watched the episode with the park keeper and decided no one should be allowed to build fences, I'm raising either the next Gerald Winstanley or an ecofascist
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Nov 15, 2020 22:59
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I feel like kids enjoy YouTube shows more than regular cartoons and Disney movies
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Jan 17, 2021 18:26
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We took Minecradt away from our kids. They play an hour or two of video games a day, but for some reason Minecraft makes them act especially lovely afterwards. I've got them set up playing The Sims and Stardew Valley and everything is cool but throw an hour of Minecraft in the mix and spend the rest of the day acting like toddlers. Anyone else notice this poo poo?
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Jan 17, 2021 18:49
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It was Roblox for me e: it passed after a two month suspension tho
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Jan 17, 2021 20:22
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Fleetwood posted:I feel like kids enjoy YouTube shows more than regular cartoons and Disney movies mine does, for sure I try to get her to watch something with like, an actual story or something of value and she's become so resistant to it
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Jan 17, 2021 20:42
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