[Parents] lerned 2 be very cautious with how deep my finger goes into the tankie pamp

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Parents] lerned 2 be very cautious with how deep my finger goes into the tankie pamp

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Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

lobster shirt posted:

man i do not know how people manage without a support network,

the right is targeting parents for radicalization too.

like it should be a no brainer for dems to help parents even more right now... but nope.

so instead some percentage of them are going to get pulled into being CHUDs as they fail to get help or support.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2021 22:14

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 16:50

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

my first kid didn�t really sleep through the night until like 6. the second kids was like oh this is how it�s supposed to be.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2021 06:38

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

we had to rock my first son. had a big old lazy boy. we wore the springs out twice. probably 3-4 hours in two segments a night for the first year. set him down and pop eyes would open right up.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2021 18:00

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

there is at least one dropper supplement for iron you can add to a bottle or just give them straight from the dropper.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2021 20:56

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Tzen posted:

lol head on over to the cspam covid thread and you'll get thorough answers. bottom line is lifetime boosters 2 times a year to prevent serious hospitalization and/or death. you can still catch it when vaccinated due to breakthroughs, variants, and everything else, it's all a matter of how many times you roll the dice

plenty of vaccines are a three dose course, I�m not saying you�re wrong. but it�s still a bit too early to know even in the Israel stuff.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2021 02:49

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Loucks posted:

Are you saying you think the mRNA vaccines will magically turn into sterilizing vaccines for people who get boosters?

no of course not.

I�m saying we don�t know what happens to effectiveness six months after a third shot booster. it might fall off in the same manner as after the second shot. it might not fall off as sharply. many current vaccines follow a shot, month second shot, six months final shot pattern. we could end up with anything in between those two outcomes. so a range from hey three worked to shot every six months until you die. we will have an idea in a few months once Israel gets 6-8 months out from third shots.

I mean I don�t care either way. give my kids the jab as often as it takes.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2021 03:21

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Good soup! posted:

Daycare colds suck

yeah it�s a crazy amount of stress right now and knocks out having childcare for a solid week. wait till the really lovely stuff like croup comes back.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 17:54

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Benagain posted:

oh hey we just got notified about a croup case in our kids toddler room at daycare

that one will gently caress you up when it happens it�s like boom 104+ fever out of nowhere. and always in the middle of the night.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2021 20:42

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

spicy doesn�t necessarily mean spicy hot. my kids slam Creole seasoning on everything. but we still get �this is too spicy�. it mean there is too much of a particular taste, not just hot. this is too spicy = this has too many parsnips yesterday.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 03:29

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

baby gates, do access control.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 03:34

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

also hope you got all you�re baby proofing done. that�s basically the deadline.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2021 03:44

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Subjunctive posted:

no parent of a newborn has ever had enough blankets or frozen meals

this good swaddle blankets and frozen homemade meals.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2021 16:44

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

yeah and you want it before you need it while cursing about the goddamn bulbs being worthless.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2021 07:29

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

it�s not sci fi but I had good luck with the phantom tollbooth

# ¿ Dec 23, 2021 00:13

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

rocking recliner like a lazy boy
more milk
possibly supplementing if breastfeeding

that didn�t go away for us until he was eating solids. banana was a godsend.

then he still got up at 4:30 until he was five.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2021 01:07

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

if you have a family history of learning differences, autism spectrum, or gifted, yeah lol no sleep for you for a couple years. that�s a thing too.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2021 01:10

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

my wife just never had quite enough production at it was really really awful.

listen to Another Bill even if you think you are doing well. I didn�t know how little my wife was sleeping. and there is no shame in switching to formula. there is huge amount of pressure to breastfeed. it�s good to do but can be really just terrible on the breast feeder.

also try fenugreek pills we found it always worked up milk production, if it was dropping off.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2021 01:58

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

brugroffil posted:

The nursing staff for our second kid was a little apoplectic when we flatly said no to breast feeding

depending on where you are support can be... spotty. in some regions lactation consultations are basically only able to help people with no production and a total inability to feed/latch. in other places they can help with stuff like this. it really dramatically differs depending on where you are.

also the birth in general is affected by it.

our first child was in the south it was a horror show at the good hospital. my second kid was in the Seattle area, if we had the second one in GA I�m pretty sure we would have ended up with Cerebral Palsy or my wife would have died. it literally changed the trajectory of our lives that the hospitals are so much better here.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2021 02:23

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

The Nastier Nate posted:

any other parents struggled with this issue?

yep so pissed about it.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2021 00:39

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

it�s definitely an outside toy. also I have worries (but no evidence or anything) about the dust a lot of the minerals you�d make that out often are present with asbestos, sort of like how talc powder has issues with that.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2021 19:13

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

lol they just abruptly closed the ferry to vashon from pt defiance covid got the crew.

# ¿ Dec 30, 2021 23:34

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3 posted:

, which is all you can expect eight year olds to wear.

I find the kids are way better than adults

# ¿ Dec 31, 2021 18:10

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Vishass posted:

My kids always wanted to hear like a few staples (twinkle twinkle, etc) and then some weird poo poo like Allstar or Bumble Bee Tune because I sang them once.

I sing bastardized song lyrics for just about everything my kids do. my older son never liked it. my younger one sings along now. my dad used to do it with me.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2022 07:38

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

sonatinas posted:

hope you got all the baby proofing up! if you can I�d recommend anchoring furniture.

especially cabinets and dressers. they�ll open drawers and try to climb up then. I�d recommend heavy duty anchors. Home Depot will sell screw in hard plastic wall anchors rated to 65 pounds. similar vinyl ones at like a ace ones are good for 35. the vinyl ones occasional breaking during install.

we still have basically everything secured that way even curtains.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2022 21:42

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

yeah remote for a year outright killed kids my older child�s love of school .

# ¿ Jan 6, 2022 23:45

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

there are hard framed up to toddler backpacks too if hiking is one�s thing.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2022 07:32

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Are you Scandinavian? don�t do that in the states if you ever visit.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2022 08:16

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

i am harry posted:

doorknobs with locks on the bedroom doors...thats great when your 3yo figures out how to turn that after storming off to their bedroom and slamming the door first.

get gud at unlocking them through the little hole.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2022 07:24

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

even if you do all the introducing early there�s a point where they just refuse to eat like anything anyway.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2022 21:38

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

in December we had a bunch of urgent cares tell us they had no staff cause they all had covid.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2022 22:51

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

head stuff just bleeds bleeds bleeds. I�ve done that same ER location late night for my kids before.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2022 04:08

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

we did baby led weaning with our first and intentionally introduced a huge variety of foods early....

they still get picky in that 5-8 range even if you do all the early introductions. they get weird too because they drop parts of things. when he was a little kid we would do sweet potatoes and avocados and salmon, like a jacket potato. now he�ll only eat the salmon packets of a particular brand with a specific amount of creole season sprinkled on and would never touch guacamole and snubs sweets potatoes.

great all we did was make you weird and you didn�t need help there.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2022 23:11

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

BonHair posted:

He does have some weird preferences. He loves pickles for some reason, but something as boring as mashed potatoes is completely out of the question.

my youngest did that. so I homemade some fermented Giardiniera so I had some control
over the salt content

# ¿ Feb 20, 2022 17:06

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

did you all see the Texas thing? they�re going to send CPS after the parents of trans kids.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2022 21:38

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

yeah they often need other people to make jumps.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2022 21:55

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

DR FRASIER KRANG posted:

we are finally putting our youngest back into day care and due to covid they now have hours of 8am-5pm which loving sucks.

I mean that�s way better than it could be. out here preschool is like we have tues/thur 930 to 1230 only that be 1000 dollars a month.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2022 01:24

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

NeatHeteroDude posted:

I'd like to do a survey of middle and high school students to see when all this poo poo really sets in. At what age do kids start to be scared of the abstract concept of being shot to death by a peer? Probably younger than we think

it�s a developmental thing that happens at a around specific age but I do not know what age it�s supposed to happen.

I do know it can happen as early as six or seven though (but that�s extremely early for it to happen).

edit: by it I mean existential fears in general.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2022 02:29

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

grill it with oil and salt.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2022 22:31

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I'll be sure to look in to that! She's had speech delays and we're getting her evaluated soon to see if she's on the spectrum, dunno if that'll complicate things there

immensely so. gifted + learning disability is a ride.

if you can afford it go the private route. most gifted programs have been co-opted to more be geared towards high achievers who want the label.

read up on asymmetrical development, and emotional intensity in the gifted and talented. Kazimierz Dąbrowski and overexcitabilities and positive disintegration are also worth reading about.

this is a really good paper for a few years from now.

https://gifted.uconn.edu/schoolwide-enrichment-model/gifted_underachievers/

expect no one to believe you at any point. get help ASAP if you can and have a community your child will be supported by as soon as possible.

here�s a gif that can give you an idea of what bad days can be like with emotional intensity

https://imgur.com/3s5qCcU

gunna cross post an op I wrote years ago for you in a second.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2022 03:41

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 16:50

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

Bar Ran Dun posted:

Why is this in D&D? In threads over the years here it�s become apparent that there is an abnormal concentration of us here. However, I�m not going to repeat anyone I�ve seen mention it. It also may be explanative for other posters. Also bunch of you are ignorant of the repercussions of learning differences, beyond the one discussed in this thread. I also am less looking for an ask/tell and more for a discussion. Understanding some of the ways our brains are different have larger repercussions to a wide variety of conversations, and I think that is very much an on topic discussion to have.

Something to immediately get out of the way, gifted doesn�t mean better. The longitudinal studies I�ve seen have basically found that we have the same outcomes and wide variety of lives as everyone else, with one exception we tend to make about a 20% higher income at whatever we do.

First some ground rules:
1) This is not a thread for: �I took this test on the internet. It says my IQ is 175.� gently caress you, get out.
2) It�s ok to have intensity and anger in this thread. Wait what? One of the things that often defines the gifted is rather extreme emotional intensity. There are a couple of ways to talk about it, Dąbrowski�s language (hyperexcitability, etc), the more recent language of �emotional intensity in the gifted and talented�, or alternate language like Gladwells �The rage to master�.
3) It�s okay to be exhausted. Parenting someone with the emotional intensity of the gifted is beyond tiring. Do you feel like you are drowning, that you need help desperately, if you need to say that. It�s ok to say that. I�m exhausted, my wife is exhausted.

So what do we mean by Gifted and Talented:

I like this definition:

"Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally."

Practically a child has meet the criteria of their state�s or district�s program. Usually this involves intelligence testing. Now for anyone familiar with the messiness of IQ testing obviously that means problems. There are inherent biases in the tests (more on that later). But generally most states or school districts recognized giftedness as being a particular number of standard deviations from the mean as expressed by the district or states chosen tests. In general the floor starts at the top 2.5% of children, in other words two standard deviations. A some states / districts define it as children at least two grade levels above their age group. But some states break down the gifted into categories. Gifted at two standard deviations, Highly Gifted at up to three, Exceptionally gifted up to four and profoundly gifted for anything higher. To be quite honest once one starts getting up Exceptional and Profound range, testing doesn�t mean much. Many of these tests have �test ceilings� and stop effectively differentiating somewhere between the highly and exceptional range. Generally the test alone is not adequate and an assessment by a child physiologist is usually necessary too. Some general information on Testing http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/highly_profoundly.htm I can comment on what I remember by my own experiences if anyone has questions of what it�s like for a child. I am gearing up for the experience as a parent.

At the low end gifted scale moderately gifted or gifted, the biases inherent in intelligence testing can disadvantage children of color, the bilingual, those with additional learning disabilities, and the poor. To make matters worse schools and teachers can prejudge children in these categories (esp. colored, bilingual, poor) and will often press for another diagnosis (ADHD, Aspergers, OCD, etc) because they are failing to recognize what is really going on with the child. Again one of the characteristics of gifted children can be very strong emotional intensity and very high energy (more on that later and why). They can be exhausting to deal with. Early on they can often do very poorly in school because frankly, they are bored out of their minds. The easy road out for a teacher, is to jam them into another category to be medicated or removed from the class. This is a particularly cruel mistake. Even in the case of Profound and Exceptionally gifted children parent generally have to strongly advocate for their children. With the exception of the wealthy, this necessary advocacy on the part of the parents of these children is a pretty universal experience and many of the resources for parents are centered around it. At some point later I�ll probably share my personal experiences and link to it in this post.

Asynchronous, More (Mommy and Daddy are so very exhausted )

A good place to start : http://www.davidsongifted.org/Search-Database/entry/A10172
One of these most common traits of the gifted and talent is emotional intensity. We can be more empathetic, more angry, more certain, incredibly stubborn about what we think ought to be, etc. There is greater need for self emotional and impulse regulation. When confronted by teacher and individuals without understanding of these characteristics this can make the gifted child particular vulnerable. These traits also eventually open up the gifted and talents to problems like addiction (especially in adolescence) or depression. Mishandling of the gifted can lead to problematic outcomes for everyone. An example, to attend the public county level congregated gifted only school, I had a multi hour bus ride with about 30 other students. At some point we (a group ranging from second graders to high school seniors) collectively decided that the bus was disgusting for the long time each day we spent on it. A large group brought cleaning supplies and organized a cleaning party. This was squashed by the driver and we were forbidden from cleaning. The response by about 10% of the riders was to bring tools. They began dissembling the bus covertly over a period of about two weeks. Removing bolts and nuts, separating rivets, drilling holes in the floor, taking fishing line and bouncing the bolts off the roadway. Eventually the driver found many seats in the back half of the bus detached at the end of a ride and the wheels exposed to the interior as the covers had been pried up. The bus had to be removed from service for maintenance.

In many of the developmental disorders part of the brains function is exaggerated or depressed. A good way to think of the gifted is exaggerated but across the board, just more of everything. Other learning differences might have parts of the brain depressed or exaggerated singly or in combination. This is one of the reasons we can often be misdiagnosed as developmentally disordered. And again think of the particular cruelty of that situation! But this also confronts a parent with a child that can be as (or more) difficult to care for properly than a developmentally disable child! Mistakes can spiral out of hand quickly. Because of the rapidity with which the gifted learn, behaviors become entrenched rapidly. Habituation and implicit concepts form more rapidly and are as hard to unlearn or modify as they are for anyone else. As a parent sometime you get only once chance with a particular issue and the subsequent un-learning or behavior modifying can be quite rough.

From Living with Intensity:

"Their excitement is viewed as excessive, their high energy as hyperactivity, their persistence as nagging, their questioning as undermining authority, their imagination as not paying attention, their passion as being disruptive, their strong emotions and sensitivity as immaturity, their creativity and self-directedness as oppositional. They stand out from the norm. But then, what is normal?"

Not mentioned in that quote but worth mentioning is also sensitivity. Both emotional and physical sensitivity can be exaggerated in the gifted. Again �qualitatively different from the norm� is a good phrase to remember, the experiences of gifted child can be rather radically different from other children the same age this is good example:

From: http://www.davidsongifted.org

�Ten-year-old Greg Barnes was acknowledged by school personnel as highly gifted. His scholastic achievement test scores placed him in the 99.9th percentile, as did his score on the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale. On this particular day, when he returned home from school, Mrs. Barnes knew immediately from his despondent expression that the day had been less than ideal."Something wrong?" she probed gently. "Yeah," he said in a tone of thorough disgust, "I got into trouble. We'll have to see the principal tomorrow." "What for?" "I got into a fight with Joe and beat him up." Mrs. Barnes was shocked. Greg was not an aggressive child. He had never reported such an incident before. In fact, he was an extraordinarily sensitive boy who genuinely cared about other people. "What happened?" she inquired further.
Greg explained that he and Joe had exchanged insults during music class. Both boys, Greg insisted, were at fault. Later, Joe had cornered Greg by the lockers, taunting him, threatening to beat him up, and egging Greg on to fight. Greg responded by punching Joe, who punched Greg back. When the teacher came onto the scene, Joe was crying while Greg continued to rain punches upon him."Well, it sounds like you stood up for yourself�" began Mrs. Barnes. She was surprised at Greg's immediate and heated denial. "No, Mom - it wasn't that simple." "But wasn't he threatening to beat you up?""No, Mom! You don't understand!"
Greg was getting visibly more upset as Mrs. Barnes attempted to convey that she was not being judgmental. Unable to comprehend why her efforts to convey caring and understanding were being met with mounting frustration, Mrs. Barnes decided to defuse the issue.
"OK. Why don't you write down what happened and explain how you feel about it. Obviously you were there and you know why it happened better than I do."
Greg willingly took a seat at the typewriter and laboriously typed out his story and explanation. An hour and a half later, he handed the pages to his mother: "It all began in third grade..." started the first paragraph. Greg went on to describe in careful detail how he and Joe had met and embarked upon a rocky friendship. At certain times, Joe seemed to want to be friends. At other times, Joe refused to allow Greg to participate in ongoing playground activities. Greg admitted to sometimes levelling "insults" at Joe in retaliation for these playground rejections.
Greg listed incidents from 3rd and 4th grades as well as the 5th grade incident that precipitated the immediate problem. For each incident, he detailed each child's behaviours with painful accuracy in an effort to render an objective view of what had happened. Greg's outburst was, according to him, not only a response to the day's happenings, but a reaction to the entire pattern of incidents composing their relationship over the past two years. The argument of the day was simply "the straw that broke the camel's back".
The next day, Joe, too, wrote out his version of the fight. He wrote simply, "Greg hit me and then I hit him back and he kept hitting me."

Many of you reading this are going to be familiar with the issue of emotional regulation in the learning disabled. You probably have encountered some descriptions of this online ranging from the rather derogatory to mildly offensive. Essentially learning differences interact with and alter the standard emotional responses because emotions responses derive from learned concepts. Again the gifted learn concepts more quickly and make those learned connections habitual and stronger more quickly.

Here�s a rough and simplified description of the more recent thought regarding how emotions work in the brain (invisibilia is doing a great series on this, it�s worth listening to). Basically we have four things we feel, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, arousal and depressed activity. The various combinations of those things interacting are what we experience as emotions, but the emotions are learned concepts and can result from learned concepts. When understood this way, why learning differences interact strongly with ones emotional inner life becomes immediately apparent. Personally one of the ways I�ve been dealing with it as a parent is to use techniques for addressing systematic biases. Identify the feeling, describe the response, describe an alternative response that would be more socially acceptable.

Understanding these things, the problems with confrontational approaches or power dynamics that the child might encounter outside of the home becomes readily apparent. An adult (say a child care provider) realizing they have been successfully emotionally manipulated and outwitted by a three year old can react confrontationally. It doesn�t go well this is good metaphor for what it can look like:

http://imgur.com/3s5qCcU

My parents primarily prevented this by carefully controlling which adults I interacted with. After my diagnosis I entered a congregated class room situation (which I think is the preferable way of dealing with the highly and above categories). I stayed in variations of a congregated classrooms until my sophomore year of high school. I wanted to be a swim team captain and to play other sports. Sports were not available at the congregated public school I had been attending.

Anyway I think I�ve gotten a good start here with a couple of jumping off points for discussion. Relevant post will be amended to the OP and links to external sites or good posts in the thread will be added as they come up. Eventually I�m going to write another decently long post about predation, the gifted often have a experience of being targeted. That one is going to be less based in facts and research and more personal. It might be a while before I�m comfortable doing it. But I can put you onto the tone. The author of the Miss Peregrines both was a gifted and talented kid in a congregated public school. His metaphor of the hollows looking to eat the children�s eyes, that a good idea of the places that post is going to go when I get it written.

Links to websites and good posts possible to continue in reserved post:
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3824035&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post473503557 - excellent post addressing why g&t is special education
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3824035&pagenumber=2&perpage=40#post473512059 - excellent post describing a dual diagnosis

of course D&D shat up my thread on it. biggest thing I learned from the thread...

nearly every public gifted program in the country is terrible.

good luck. even literally knowing what you�re getting into, it�s still really really hard.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2022 03:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Parents] lerned 2 be very cautious with how deep my finger goes into the tankie pamp

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