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staring into a painting at the Guggenheim for hours. The colors. The motion. I am moved by the beauty of the piece. So moved I rob a convenience store.
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Feb 13, 2020 05:18
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Masturbating onto your secretaries office chair Masturbating into your secretaries coffee mug Just jizzing wherever
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Feb 13, 2020 05:24
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Jizzing all over the painting in the Guggenheim after you've robbed a convenience store, so the cops chasing you can catch you in the act of jizzing on a painting which makes you jizz even more.
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Feb 13, 2020 05:26
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Listening to Glenn Gould play some crazy fugue and getting so swept away that I shoplift headphones from the wal-mart.
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Feb 13, 2020 05:58
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Busting a nut all over the salad bar at Pizza Hut
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Feb 13, 2020 06:03
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Passionately embezzling hundreds of millions of dollars from the company to pay for romantic private island getaways. Stealing a helping from the salad bar at Pizza Hut as a surprise for the lady.
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Feb 13, 2020 06:13
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fuckin on meth ...what? we've all done it
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Feb 13, 2020 07:15
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i miss roboshit and his videos where he was reading the forums and listening to techno's "greatest tracks to get fisted to" all the while shattering beer bottles on his floor
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Feb 13, 2020 07:16
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illicitly eating rear end
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Feb 13, 2020 07:20
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when someone is like, no don't eat my rear end, but then you hold them down and eat their rear end, and eventually they are like keep eating my rear end.
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Feb 13, 2020 07:24
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Hell Yeah posted:when someone is like, no don't eat my rear end, but then you hold them down and eat their rear end, and eventually they are like keep eating my rear end. Princess gets what princess wants. 
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Feb 13, 2020 09:12
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drilling gloryholes in various public bathrooms because the world needs more gloryholes also applying tape around the edges because no one wants spinters in their dick or lips... unless
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Feb 13, 2020 09:27
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Booty Pageant posted:drilling gloryholes in various public bathrooms because the world needs more gloryholes You have to respect drill bit kits that come with a glory hole attachment lol. 
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Feb 13, 2020 10:08
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Spitting on my hand and rubbing it over every elevator button
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Feb 13, 2020 10:14
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Having my manhood questioned online to the point I get so mad I buy some Truck Nutz for my Skoda.
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Feb 13, 2020 10:19
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evilmiera posted:Having my manhood questioned online to the point I get so mad I buy some Truck Nutz for my Skoda. I just listened to a dollop on the subject, and...wtf.
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Feb 13, 2020 10:21
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putting TWO dashes of hot sauce on my slice of pizza
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Feb 13, 2020 14:20
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There's a lot of boners and semen in crime.
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Feb 13, 2020 14:24
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Not holding the door for someone walking closely behind you
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Feb 13, 2020 14:40
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The Management posted:Not holding the door for someone walking closely behind you  Most of what's been said here is forgivable. But you're a monster.
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Feb 13, 2020 15:03
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Supreme Allah posted:Masturbating onto your secretaries office chair ah man i was on a call and idly clicked this thread to make some sort of poop or penis joke and this one made me laugh into an open mic E: by which i mean lol if you only have a single secretary
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Feb 13, 2020 15:18
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pretending to leave the cinema after another viewing of the amazing, transcendent experience 'Rise of Skywalker' but secretly going back in to see the next showing
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Feb 13, 2020 15:20
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So there's someone meaningful involved. Perhaps she's something of a powderkeg. A turbocharged hellcat, if you will. And maybe she's often a disaster perched on a precipice. But as I look upon her, morphine faded, her spirit possibly damaged worse than her surgically reconstructed mandible...something ike determination fills me. Paul Atraides giving water to the dead. She'll rise from this hospital bed. But him? The subterranean degenerate...who never did anything but kindness to me? Better watch ya back. Cause I'm about to put that neck on a fulltime swivel.
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Feb 13, 2020 15:22
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Gross Negligence
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Feb 16, 2020 01:27
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Finding a rich person and killing them.
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Feb 16, 2020 01:31
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Eating your wife's side dudes rear end against his will
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Feb 16, 2020 01:35
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Isaac posted:Gross Negligence Ew.
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Feb 16, 2020 01:36
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Chomp8645 posted:Finding a rich person and killing them. 
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Feb 16, 2020 01:43
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Jaywalking with a printer
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Feb 16, 2020 01:46
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lol imagine carrying the printer back home
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Feb 16, 2020 11:47
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mass shooting at a david geffen pool party
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Feb 16, 2020 12:00
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Adultery with Burt's wife
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Feb 16, 2020 12:18
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Jose posted:Adultery with Burt's wife that would be rude
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Feb 16, 2020 12:30
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writing a brutal steam review. really letting the devs know.
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Feb 16, 2020 14:25
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I loved myself so much I went to MeFest 2.0 but all the people there from 1.0 hated it. 
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Feb 16, 2020 15:02
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OJ Simpson committed the best crime of passion of all time... Stealing back his sports collectibles from a fan who bought them.
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Feb 16, 2020 15:19
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Passionately masturbating my penis and I'm into it so much I fart.
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Feb 16, 2020 15:22
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When you think it’s you car but you actually tried to get into someone else’s car
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Feb 16, 2020 15:27
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When you mean to do a pee pee but you do a toot toot.
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Feb 16, 2020 15:32
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| # ? May 12, 2024 16:29 |
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:When you think it’s you car but you actually tried to get into someone else’s car Holy gently caress dude I did this the other day and there was someone IN THE CAR and I was even scared on her behalf like “Jesus I look like hell, that was probably pretty tense!”
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Feb 16, 2020 15:49
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