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Stairmaster
Jun 8, 2012

slavery is good actually

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Yeowch!!! My Balls!!!
May 31, 2006

Typo posted:

Heavenly king Hong Xiuquan is right

we really need to give Douglass a chance, i'm sure the slavers will see reason

Kazzah
Jul 15, 2011

Formerly known as
Krazyface
Hair Elf
My cousin in the navy has brought back some wall-scrolls from Saipan. It's so much more vibrant and original than the crap people call art in America.

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



1860:
Lincoln: "Just let the inbred fucks secede who cares"

2001:
President Alfred Gore "I just cured cancer"

2012:
Chief Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg "Anime is weird as poo poo and I just got an abortion"

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008

by Athanatos
right now... in Paris France...this man Lew-ee Past-hyur

Bouillon Rube
Aug 6, 2009


everything changed the moment davis descended down the funicular

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

have you guys been noticing less passenger pigeons lately? i am normally able to kill 50 at a time with a single shotgun blast at a flock, but lately its only been like 20 at a time

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
i have two cows and one goat

Soup du Jour
Sep 8, 2011

I always knew I'd die with a headache.

one day we’ll travel the aether

IN MY rear end

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



The Cherokee really oughta just go back home

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



If you think about it slavery is good for wages because it incentives hard work

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



You guys think I would own this farm I inherited if I grew complacent with fair compensation with my work? The guys I own should be THANKING ME

vaginite
Feb 8, 2006

I'm comin' for you, colonel.



Can I take 179 or bonus depreciation on these negroes or do I need to depreciate them over their useful lives? Fuckin' IRS the federal government is anti-freedom

Feldegast42
Oct 29, 2011

COMMENCE THE RITE OF SHITPOSTING

Krazyface posted:

My cousin in the navy has brought back some wall-scrolls from Saipan. It's so much more vibrant and original than the crap people call art in America.

drat, doin' it with a squid

Feldegast42
Oct 29, 2011

COMMENCE THE RITE OF SHITPOSTING

A dangerous radical like Lincoln will tear our country apart. Instead, we should vote for John Bell as he is the only one who can bridge southern slaveholders with our constitutional institutions

1982 Subaru Brat
Feb 2, 2007

by Athanatos
SF is ruined by goddamn gold mining yuppies with their ironic facial hair, drinking overpriced liquor in some stupid basement saloon with a filament bulb overhead, still paying top dollar for claims that depleted years ago because :matters:

upgunned shitpost
Jan 21, 2015

I'm rubbing radium all over my balls to cure my gout, the mercury is for the syphilis. do you know nothing of science?

OhFunny
Jun 26, 2013

EXTREMELY PISSED AT THE DNC
I'm Lincoln or Bust.

Time to smash Southern Slave Power.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I sure love hunting Tasmanian Tigers! their meat is just delicious!

Samog
Dec 13, 2006
At least I'm not an 07.

Feldegast42 posted:

How long will it take to capture Washington? 2 days
Will Lincoln be killed? Yes
Total Union civillian casualties: 500 dead
Total military casualties Union: 3000 dead
Total military casualties Dixie: 15 dead
Will the Yankee army regulars hold the lines? No
Will the Marines fight to the end? No
Will plague weapons be used on invading troops?: Yes
Will Lincoln launch attacks on the Canadians? Yes
Will Lincoln launch attacks on the British? No
-If yes; will the British retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Lincoln sacrifice Washington (torch/burn it)? No
Will the Copperheads make a grab for independence? Yes
Will the indians do anything silly like try for land? Yes
Will Lincoln burn the oil fields? Yes
How long will the Confederacy be occupying the Union? ~15 years
Will the Civil War catalyze increased terrorism in America?No
In the long run, will this war be good or bad for the world? Good

Homeless Friend
Jul 16, 2007

Feldegast42 posted:

How long will it take to capture Washington? 2 days
Will Lincoln be killed? Yes
Total Union civillian casualties: 500 dead
Total military casualties Union: 3000 dead
Total military casualties Dixie: 15 dead
Will the Yankee army regulars hold the lines? No
Will the Marines fight to the end? No
Will plague weapons be used on invading troops?: Yes
Will Lincoln launch attacks on the Canadians? Yes
Will Lincoln launch attacks on the British? No
-If yes; will the British retaliate harshly? Yes
Will Lincoln sacrifice Washington (torch/burn it)? No
Will the Copperheads make a grab for independence? Yes
Will the indians do anything silly like try for land? Yes
Will Lincoln burn the oil fields? Yes
How long will the Confederacy be occupying the Union? ~15 years
Will the Civil War catalyze increased terrorism in America?No
In the long run, will this war be good or bad for the world? Good

Ansar Santa
Jul 12, 2012

i'm gay

i'm gay

i'm gay down south in dixie

Doccykins
Feb 21, 2006
Went to see the doctor to get my leg sawn off for an infection, didn't go bankrupt bc heath insurance won't be invented for another 23 years. US healthcare system better than 2020AD

gorgmatic
Apr 25, 2006

May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't
ALLAH IS ALL MERCIFUL
John C. Frémont '56: Kill your parents.

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

so railroads are just a fad right? i've invested heavily in canal company bonds and they've been taking a beating since everyone thinks those big smoke horses are the future.

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

gosh tom warren, you done killed a indian in cold blood over a can of bacon grease! how in heck you gonna get outta this jam?

gorgmatic
Apr 25, 2006

May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't
ALLAH IS ALL MERCIFUL
Polk lied, people died.

upgunned shitpost
Jan 21, 2015

they're letting in the irish and other papists! I'm whigging out!

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
That nude daguerreotype of Lucretia Garfield cant be real the feet are all wrong

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Bernie the Snow Clown

1982 Subaru Brat posted:

SF is ruined by goddamn gold mining yuppies with their ironic facial hair, drinking overpriced liquor in some stupid basement saloon with a filament bulb overhead, still paying top dollar for claims that depleted years ago because :matters:

Yeah, would love to see the emperor Norton issue a decree about them but he's been bought and paid for by the goldbros

gorgmatic
Apr 25, 2006

May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't
ALLAH IS ALL MERCIFUL
The King Obama post but King Jennings Bryant makes the prisoner a bimetalist instead of immune to rubella.

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

upgunned shitpost posted:

they're letting in the irish and other papists! I'm whigging out!

i hear there are some people who are going to do something about this but I don't know nothing about it really

Gringostar
Nov 12, 2016
Morbid Hound
who cares if you can rotate them, you can't just throw 2 cannons on a ship and call it a day

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Bernie the Snow Clown
Lol the us Navy has spent millions on a ship that can't even sail in the wind and rusts in the rain

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

You asked for thoughts, and after smoking a pipe of opium, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were Pinkerton agents that I wouldn't line up in front of the gallows if the second reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 22 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of aeronaut broness and randomly wearing a ballooning suit to work on Fridays despite his only loon time being the flight he poo poo his trousers or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you, and it's a good chance she'll be some dumb broad who's barely an Albany 5. But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 7-9 kids he demands you squeeze out while he's gone for 3 years infiltrating coal mining labor organizations.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, and he'll be pressuring you to attend revival meetings, and writing his own custom cartoons about the popish menace.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice opiate buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress hirstute Prussians, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with a dick from every outpost of the British Empire.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for syphillis, and your Pinkerton officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from sitting on a commode.

You didn't get it from the commode.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an Pinkerton wives meeting which is a Poe-like hell that makes my description of your future seem like a John Newberry volume.

Dixon Chisholm
Jan 2, 2020

Stairmaster posted:

slavery is good actually

Too 2020 of a take.

Homeless Friend
Jul 16, 2007

Mayor Dave posted:

Lol the us Navy has spent millions on a ship that can't even sail in the wind and rusts in the rain

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010

Mayor Dave posted:

Lol the us Navy has spent millions on a ship that can't even sail in the wind and rusts in the rain

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I don’t give a hot gay gently caress what the south thinks! abolish slavery, dude!

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Gringostar
Nov 12, 2016
Morbid Hound
look just because the president is single doesn't make him a homosexual, his relationship with william rufus king is purely gentlemanly

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