CaptainPsyko posted:

fishing with the fam posted:

No, not really. It's just you.

This one is so evil on its face it reads like satire, but unfortunately it's probably legit.

DemonDarkhorse posted:

from my college campus: "Unfortunately, given state rules and the financial exigencies created by this situation, we cannot pay our student hourly employees who are not working, and COVID-19 leave will only be provided to employees who otherwise receive paid leave benefits."

sorry kids, youre SOL

DemonDarkhorse posted:

from my college campus: "Unfortunately, given state rules and the financial exigencies created by this situation, we cannot pay our student hourly employees who are not working, and COVID-19 leave will only be provided to employees who otherwise receive paid leave benefits."

sorry kids, youre SOL

EasilyConfused posted:

What lovely state is this?

CaptainPsyko posted:

Who is running their what

DemonDarkhorse posted:

wisconsin

CJacobs posted:

We really value customer safety and are following all of the recommended protocols. Except for closing our stores, we won't do that, that's just ridiculous ha ha ha ha *continues to be a disease vector*

DemonDarkhorse posted:

wisconsin

Gamestop posted:

“Due to the products we carry that enable and enhance our customers’ experience in working from home,” reads the memo, “we believe GameStop is classified as essential retail and therefore is able to remain open during this time. We have received reports of local authorities visiting stores in an attempt to enforce closure despite our classification. Store managers are approved to provide the document linked below to law enforcement as needed.”

Zvahl posted:

thank you, overpriced but pleasingly comfortable fetish wear site, that actually did help a lot

Brute Hole Force posted:

I had to leave my phone at home to charge and couldn't get a picture unfortunately, but the local Von's grocery store had "All Sales Final" plastered every few feet of the store front, a nice "gently caress you" to everyone that hoarded $500-700 bucks in groceries last week and now these buttknockers can't afford rent and utilities.

Platystemon posted:

https://twitter.com/crampell/status/1240411395025448964

Inceltown posted:

That's a big thing that is happening here too. They're specifically making it for stuff that people are hoarding as the extra gently caress you. Wanted to try buying it all up and flipping it for a markup and that isn't working because the supply chain isn't hosed? Suck it chucklefuck you have 25 years of tp now, poo poo more.

CaptainPsyko posted:

“Due to the products we carry that enable and enhance our customers’ experience in working from home,” reads the memo, “we believe GameStop is classified as essential retail and therefore is able to remain open during this time. We have received reports of local authorities visiting stores in an attempt to enforce closure despite our classification. Store managers are approved to provide the document linked below to law enforcement as needed.”

quote:

To Our Valued Customers,
I wanted to take a moment to personally reach out to you, our valued customer, and let you know of the enhanced protocols that have been put into place at each dealership in the Cooper Autogroup. We are closely monitoring new developments regarding COVID-19 (coronavirus) and we assure you that the health and safety of our customers and employees is our #1 priority. We are vigilantly analyzing developments from local, national and international health agencies, and we are taking actions to comply with their directives as needed.

Our dealership is thoroughly cleaned each night, and we've taken extra measures to raise our usual standards of cleanliness and health safety. Maintaining the status quo has never been good enough for the Joe Cooper Family…and it shouldn’t be for you either. Please know that our intention is to be a leader in meeting the challenge of the coronavirus.

What We Are Doing Differently:

We have implemented several new policies and procedures, which follow recommendations from the U.S.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Oklahoma State Department of Health (OSDH).
Our teams are actively wiping down high traffic areas throughout the day. We encourage you to utilize the hand sanitizers that are conveniently located throughout the dealership. We are temporarily discontinuing our regularly offered food services in our customer lounges as an added safety measure.
We have specialized crew coming in nightly and thoroughly disinfecting the dealership with professional sanitizing equipment.
We are following all CDC guidelines for businesses and employers. We are asking any employees to stay home if they feel ill and we ask clients to exercise good judgement if they have traveled to high-impact areas, been exposed to a COVID-19 patient or feel ill.
Based on these proactive actions that have been implemented, we are confident that our dealerships will continue to be a safe place to conduct business and we will remain open to best serve your automotive needs. The health and safety of our loyal customers and employees will always be our most important consideration, especially in these challenging circumstances. We appreciate your business and loyalty to the Joe Cooper Family. We ask you to contact our team if you are in need of assistance, have questions or concerns. We have been serving Oklahoma since 1946, and we are proud to continue that tradition today.

Best Regards,

Joe Cooper

quote:

Hi Dirk,
At Twilio, we know firsthand the critical—even life-saving—role communications play in times of crisis.
We support thousands of organizations, like yours and others across countless industries, to engage their customers, deepen meaningful relationships, and build trusted communications efforts that support business growth.
Continued availability and delivery for our customers is something we take very seriously, and our support of you remains steadfast.
As our CEO Jeff said in his recent message, we have full confidence in our ability to support our customers as this situation evolves, and encourage you to reach out to your Twilio account executive if there’s anything we can do to assist you further, including thinking through new ideas and ways of using Twilio technologies to reach your end users in this difficult time.
As an organization, we have shifted to a fully remote workforce; we’ve strengthened our support systems to ensure we’re ready for spikes in usage and unusual workload.
We’ve heard from many of you that further guidance would help you navigate these uncertain waters.
I’d like to share some insight we’ve gathered, related to three key issues: crisis communications, elastic comms and infrastructure, and business continuity.
Please contact us here or reach out to your account executive directly to talk more about this dynamic and sometimes frightening situation. We’re closely monitoring the situation, and look forward to continuing to support you through and beyond this time of crisis.
Best,
Glenn Weinstein
Chief Customer Officer
Twilio

quote:

Dear LEGO® Fan,

The health and safety of children and communities worldwide is our top priority.

That’s why we are temporarily closing the LEGO® Brand Retail stores we own and operate until at least March 27th in all countries except China. We are pleased to hear that for our stores in Shanghai and Beijing, life is slowly starting to return to normal.

Our online store on LEGO.com remains open, and you can find our latest updates at LEGO.com/service/help.

This is a constantly changing situation. However, one thing we do know for sure is that our fans remain as awesome as ever. It’s inspiring to see so many of you around the world looking after one another, and we take strength from the fact that play and learning can bring families together for moments of joy, even at the most uncertain times.

Stay safe, stay strong and stay awesome!

Your friends at the LEGO Group

CaptainPsyko posted:

https://twitter.com/kendallybrown/status/1241519413486129156?s=20

Resting Lich Face posted:

Resting Lich Face posted:

CaptainPsyko posted:

https://twitter.com/kendallybrown/status/1241519413486129156?s=20

Zvahl posted:

thank you, overpriced but pleasingly comfortable fetish wear site, that actually did help a lot

CaptainPsyko posted:

https://twitter.com/kendallybrown/status/1241519413486129156?s=20

biracial bear for uncut posted:

The fact that those fuckers aren't languishing in a prison for stealing artifacts from Iraq back in 2009 for their bullshit bible museum is unforgiveable.

GWBBQ posted:

During these trying times, the New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene would like you to jerk off instead of eating rear end

https://twitter.com/nycHealthy/status/1242462479134982145