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So the ER is a magical place, from gunshot and traumas, to housefires and explosive vomiting. And the thing everyone hates, the toothpain and toe pain calls. Ignore your personal feelings or the shortcomings of american healthcare here because yes american healthcare sucks in all ways, but come on, don't call an ambulance because you toe hurts unless you live in a nursing home and they don't give you any care. Or are a child that stole the phone from mom because that is funny and silly. So we have a fun general fun stories on that front for absurd EMS calls to the hospital. Everyone's favorite is always the 25 year old that smacked their toe and needs to come in lights and sirens because its 10/10 pain and they can't function (as they text and talk on their phone). But can you beat the guy that called EMS for wisdom tooth pain? That's been ongoing for 4 years? That hasn't changed he just got tired of it but didn't want to see a dentists? Please note an ER does not typically have dental services, its outside our scope. We also had a frequant flier for a good while, 19 year old with a colostomy, in laymens terms he pooped in a bag because his bunghole was bypassed due to something. He knew proper care and proper methods to change his bags, but had decided that he shouldn't have to take care of it it was the doctors responsibility. So he would call for an ambulance roughly every 2-3 days to take him to the ER for issues to his bag, predominantly it was full. Then claim ignorance on how to change it, oh that was after the first few times where he just tore it off and then used towels because he thought the bag was stupid. He did this so much that EMS flatout told him he would get charged by the police for abusing EMS resources if he called for anything that was deemed nonermgancy again. Which is what happened to another frequent flier we had, who would call in because he would get mucus draining down his throat. He said he felt like he was choking because there was SO MUCH MUCUS DOCTOR, literally would call constantly some days to the ER asking for medical advice as he states that hes choking and can't breath, with no distress in his voice as he relays it. Literally in a span of a month he called EMS 25 times for transport whereupon the police got involved because of the misuse of EMS resources. My favorite though, this one walked in the front doors. 19 Year old female walks in with a young man and says she needs to be seen. We need to get a basic complaint before triage so the person in triage asks the reason for being seen. Patient says she has a bruise on her neck that seems fairly serious. Ok not a big deal it happens let your imagination roll here. Gets back to triage and takes her scarf off. Whereupon the doctor gets a call and the patient is put in a waiting room and discharged five minutes later. the bruise? SHE CAME IN FOR A HICKIE A LITERAL HICKIE ON HER NECK I have never seen a doc swear as much as that woman did that night after seeing that triage. oh and the young man wasn't the boyfirend, she said it was her brother
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Apr 20, 2020 12:11
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ok but going to the ER accompanied by your brother for a hickie your boyfriend gave you is still much different than going to the ER accompanied by your brother for a hickie your brother gave you please clean up your PHRASING! 
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Apr 20, 2020 14:09
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we didn't know or find out how she got it!
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Apr 20, 2020 14:45
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Christ alive the corpse teeth vomit explosion story got me feeling sick to my stomach. This is a magical thread
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Apr 20, 2020 15:12
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For a combination of about 7 years, I worked on and off as a biomed tech. I fixed, calibrated, tested, etc... medical equipment. One of the more "fun" experiences I had was fixing a Dornoch machine:  These "safety stations" take the aforementioned buckets of blood, piss, puss, and whatever other fluid that's drained out of you, empties them, cleans them, and sanitizes them for reuse. If you thought to yourself, "Hmm...big buckets of body fluids, subjected to harsh chemicals and hot water? Doesn't that cause them to basically just clot and make a giant loving clog?" them congratulations, you put more thought into designing that piece of crap than the people who actually did. It DESPERATELY lacks (at least the model I worked on) any sort of macerator, so clogs were common. In theory, one of the chemicals used was supposed to prevent giant clots, but it never seemed to work as well as they said it should. I came up one time to fix a clogged machine in the OR that was mistakenly run through TWO cycles. A nurse or OR tech didn't noticed it didn't correctly finish its first run, because of a clog and inability to drain, and so just started up another cycle rather than inspecting it. By the time I got to it, it was VERY full. Nearly a foot deep of pure, standing HORROR. I'm seeing blood clots the size of small babies bobbing up and down in this thing, a smell so foul even the gastro-intestinal surgeons were a little putt off by the stink. I called the support line and their official stance was to remove the front panel, and then grab the drain hose at the bottom and just wiggle it around and squeeze it till the "blockage" passes through. Then they asked me if I was able to just put on some gloves, reach in, and remove the clog from the topside. I ended up just dumping almost an entire gallon of the "anti-clot" chemical into the thing and waiting 20 minutes or so, and then it finally was able to drain.
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Apr 20, 2020 20:17
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I highly suggest if you are interested in ems to look online for your counties local safety radio. Many people will put it online at broadcastify and you can listen to them anywhere. Sometimes you can even get the police scanner and hear the officers on duty to hear some real fun stuff. And hear the tones go off for people that drink cleaning fluid thinking it was grape juice.
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Apr 21, 2020 02:28
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In 2012, when I was 26, I was on vacation with my family at the lake when I noticed a small red spot on my shin. It didn't hurt or itch, so I just ignored it. That night, though, I woke up with such bad abdominal pain that I had to get out of bed and curl up on the floor in a fetal position. The pain continued for three days. It was like a cross of gas, menstrual cramps, and the day after ab day. I could barely stand up straight and spent most of my time curled up miserably. Finally, my parents forced me to go to the ER. They did a scan of some sort (CT? I have the records somewhere) and my intestines were swollen, so they admitted me. I got some steroids, got put on bowel rest, and they said it was probably Crohn's because I have a strong family history. So I was in the hospital for three days while various family members took turns keeping me company while the others went and did fun vacation stuff. They wanted to keep me longer, but I had to go home. While I was in the hospital, the red dots on my legs had multiplied and now my ankles were covered. No one took any notice of that. I got discharged from the hospital and flew home. When I got off the first flight, the red dots had spread up to my knees. When I got off the second flight, they'd spread up to my hips. I took off my shoes in the car and screamed because my feet were almost entirely red.   It was a lot worse than this picture shows. The next morning, I saw a gastroenterologist and had a long discussion about Crohn's. Then I said, "By the way, check out these spots on my legs." He said, "Oh, you don't have Crohn's! You have Henoch-Schonlein Purpura!" (warning, there's a picture of a butt in that link  )So HSP is a fairly rare autoimmune disease that causes your blood vessels to leak into the surrounding tissue. It's most common in little boys. For me it ended up being about three months of abdominal pain, joint pain, swollen feet and legs, vomiting, peeing blood, having to get blood drawn and pee in a cup weekly to monitor my kidneys, and lots and lots of spots. It was horrible. I was so sick. Then I got a biopsy to confirm the diagnosis (yep!) and it got infected with staph and I had to be on antibiotics for six weeks while it healed up. I never puked so much in my life. And then this happened...  My best friend, who I had not seen in months and who lives a completely different lifestyle, had this same rare disease at the same time as I did. It was wild. I ended up recovering completely with just a couple little scars on my legs. I still get a little freaked out when I find a red spot on my leg, though.
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Apr 21, 2020 04:48
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That's pretty interesting, I had a bout about 8 years ago during a (edit: unrelated, but also extremely related) tough time in life with something that looked almost the same. Won't share the pictures (think: inner thigh, danger close) but it was essentially the same-looking for a couple weeks, until it flaked off. Then just itchy for the next month after that. It was terrifying me because it was diagnosed as everything between a fungal infection (fine, okay, but annoying) to some kind of unidentified VD. As it progressed, it spread down my legs and uh, back behind there. Had a biopsy, and a couple different skin tests for previously undiagnosed allergies, etc. Nothing came back conclusive. As a result, I got the works. Took antifungals, antibiotics and several types of topical treatments and nothing seemed to have an effect. Then it disappeared within a matter of days after about a month and a half. The aftermath was gross just in the volume of shed but nothing really super gnarly or anything. The follow up appointment the doc told me it was probably some weird form of idiopathic psoriasis, which being an autoimmune disorder was impossible to confirm after it had already cleared up. The best explanation given to me was that prolonged chronic stress just makes your skin's natural defenses shut down (histamine yay) which caused the skin--or rather the natural bacteria present on the skin--to just start... eating itself.  Long story short, I learned that just working out, not eating much and drinking a LOT of alcohol can gently caress my body up in ways I previously was unaware of. Yes, I went back to therapy that year. This was the Fall I Did Not Know My Body Was Eating Itself From Stress. HiroProtagonist has a new favorite as of 06:18 on Apr 21, 2020 |
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Apr 21, 2020 06:06
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Malachite_Dragon posted:IV anesthetic worked just fine though! Watch them push the needle in the IV line, "Count down from 10 for me, okay?" (this was before the infection actually took my hearing) I was given propofol (IV anesthetic) twice. Once for upper/lower endoscopy (they put a camera tube down your throat, then up your butt; hopefully in that order), and once for getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I knew ahead of time what they were using and googled the effects. Was curious if it was as strong as people said. Both times, I barely managed to say "wow, that's fast..." before blacking out completely. It is amazingly fast acting, even if you are expecting it. When I woke up from surgery I did not feel groggy, really. I could understand people talking to me, and respond by nodding yes or no. They made me take a wheelchair instead of walking out. I was thinking to myself "I'm fine, I don't need this!" By the time I reached the car and had tried to speak to my family, I realized that I was still extremely hosed up and absolutely needed to be wheeled out to the parking lot. I didn't say anything funny or weird, I could formulate a response (in my head) to someone talking to me, but my mouth (really, my whole meat-body) was still on vacation from the anesthesia. That poo poo is a wonder of modern medicine. WITCHCRAFT has a new favorite as of 06:43 on Apr 21, 2020 |
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Apr 21, 2020 06:14
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UCS Hellmaker posted:I highly suggest if you are interested in ems to look online for your counties local safety radio. Many people will put it online at broadcastify and you can listen to them anywhere. Sometimes you can even get the police scanner and hear the officers on duty to hear some real fun stuff. Or who called 911 because they took a sleeping pill and now they feel tired. We transported that one, we’re not allowed to tell patients we won’t take them.
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Apr 21, 2020 15:29
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WITCHCRAFT posted:I was given propofol (IV anesthetic) twice. Once for upper/lower endoscopy (they put a camera tube down your throat, then up your butt; hopefully in that order), and once for getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I knew ahead of time what they were using and googled the effects. Was curious if it was as strong as people said. Both times, I barely managed to say "wow, that's fast..." before blacking out completely. It is amazingly fast acting, even if you are expecting it. I had surgery to remove a lymph node on my neck 25 years ago and I still recall the seconds before I went under as being the most pleasurable of my life. What was that? I had time to say, "Maaan this feels great," or smth like that before lights out.
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Apr 21, 2020 18:49
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When I was three, I had surgery to correct a hammer toe. They set me up with a plastic mask over my face which was uncomfortable and smelled weird, so I complained to the doctor. He told me, "it's ok, just count backward from 10 and I'll take it off." So I counted tennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwoone and then asked him to take off the mask and he refused! That man had lied to me! Then he bet me that I didn't know my numbers well enough to count back from 100, and I got to about 97 and suddenly it was tomorrow. Well that's my anaesthesia story thanks for listening. Any of you medical professionals know what type of inhaled anaesthesia they'd have been giving me? In the late 70s in the US if that's relevant.
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Apr 22, 2020 00:31
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wheatpuppy posted:When I was three, I had surgery to correct a hammer toe. They set me up with a plastic mask over my face which was uncomfortable and smelled weird, so I complained to the doctor. He told me, "it's ok, just count backward from 10 and I'll take it off." So I counted tennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwoone and then asked him to take off the mask and he refused! That man had lied to me! I've only been put under twice - once for the previously mentioned heel surgery. They'd given me a nerve block on that leg and told me the doctor would be there in about ten minutes. Next thing I knew I was being wheeled to my room four hours later. The doctor told me he had asked me some questions and I answered them, but I have zero memory of it. About 18 years ago, I had a wisdom tooth removed and it went like this: Doctor: Something, something, something, tooth, Something, something, something. Doctor: Okay, Mr. Kingdom, we're all done. And I was lead out to the car. That is some scary, but amazing poo poo.
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Apr 22, 2020 00:43
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wheatpuppy posted:
My specialty as a biomed tech was anesthesia machines. To my recollection, even though that was 30 years before I was in the field, enflurane and halothane were the most commonly used inhaled halogenated gasses, though it could have been nitrous. Neither are in use anymore, at least on humans in first world countries. Some veterinary surgical centers and developing countries might still use them. Isoflurane, sevoflurane, and desothane are the anesthetic gasses used today, along with nitrous. Here's a fun fact related to scary medical experiences... We still have no idea how anesthesia works. We know that it does, and we know enough about the compounds that work to formulate newer, more effective and safer ones, but really they're a giant mystery and that's kind of scary, at least to me. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inhalational_anesthetic#Neurological_theories_of_action quote:The full mechanism of action of volatile anaesthetic agents is unknown and has been the subject of intense debate. "Anesthetics have been used for 160 years, and how they work is one of the great mysteries of neuroscience," says anaesthesiologist James Sonner of the University of California, San Francisco. Anaesthesia research "has been for a long time a science of untestable hypotheses," notes Neil L. Harrison of Cornell University.[5] DrBouvenstein has a new favorite as of 01:01 on Apr 22, 2020 |
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Apr 22, 2020 00:57
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Spinz posted:I had surgery to remove a lymph node on my neck 25 years ago and I still recall the seconds before I went under as being the most pleasurable of my life. What was that? I had time to say, "Maaan this feels great," or smth like that before lights out. Dude, I wish I had your experience when I went under general for my ACL reconstruction 15 years ago. I got the shot into my IV, told to count backwards, and as a sensation that was both cold and burning spread through my veins and the room started to swim, I thought “This must be what dying feels like OH poo poo DOC HANG ON JUST A SEC-“ I woke up after my surgery, shaking violently because of what my doctors told me was a reaction to pain even though I couldn’t feel anything. I went home, had a cheeseburger, watched the first Lord of the Rings movie with my dad, took a Percocet and had a wonderful dream of chasing brightly colored octopuses through a tropical reef. I’ll post the darker side of my post-surgery opiate prescription, which entails an episode of sleep paralysis and a vivid nightmare involving my surgical leg!
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Apr 22, 2020 01:19
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Oh here's a fun one for you. You know that you can get a catheter in your pee hole. That's pleasent and fun as the garden hose goes in and all. Did you know that you can get a catheter that goes in your rear end? I've seen it for c diff mainly, and even then it's rate because it's fairly unpleasant to have a tube shoved in your rear end. As Elise can attest you can have tubes in every hole and new holes made for new tubes! Don't get the rear end tube.
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Apr 22, 2020 02:05
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Spinz posted:I had surgery to remove a lymph node on my neck 25 years ago and I still recall the seconds before I went under as being the most pleasurable of my life. What was that? I had time to say, "Maaan this feels great," or smth like that before lights out. This reminds me of a dental surgery I had a few years ago, where they gave me a benzo to take a while before surgery to curb anxiety. It kicked in when I was in the waiting room, and my first thought was "aw, yeah, I can see why people do this poo poo recreationally; this is pretty nice." My only other distinct memory of that surgery is afterward, when I was in a wheelchair getting wheeled out to the car, and I made a half- joke to the nurse about how they shouldn't have paved the wheelchair ramp with cobblestones. We weren't on the wheelchair ramp at the time. (We were, to my credit, on cobblestones, and I'm still not sure I'd pave any of the walkways in front of a medical office with those things, but still. Post-twilight-sedation humor: not great!)
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Apr 22, 2020 02:38
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wheatpuppy posted:When I was three, I had surgery to correct a hammer toe. They set me up with a plastic mask over my face which was uncomfortable and smelled weird, so I complained to the doctor. He told me, "it's ok, just count backward from 10 and I'll take it off." So I counted tennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwoone and then asked him to take off the mask and he refused! That man had lied to me! Hey I do this all the time! I also tell kids to try and pop the balloon (my anesthesia machine’s resevoir bag). I’m not sure about the 70’s, but they probably used nitrous oxide and then whatever the inhalation always agent of choice was then. Halothane? Currently we use sevoflurane to get people off to sleep with a mask. It is the least likely to piss off your airway and cause everything to spasm and slam shut. Nitrous is frequently used as well, but if the child is super upset or combative we just blast the sevo while nitrous and oxygen run in the background. Once the kid is off to sleep we usually run sevo and oxygen, some people run nitrous as well depending on the case. For a thread material: A was putting this super sweet kid to sleep for dental procedures. He had the nastiest respiratory infection and kept coughing all kinds of snotty green poo poo at me. Respiratory infections put children at a much higher risk of airway spasm and “oh poo poo everything has slammed shut we can’t get any air into his lungs” situations. He was terrified of everyone else and wouldn’t let them near him. I sat him in my lap to put him off to sleep, everything is going well, his airway hasn’t told me to gently caress off, he isn’t fighting, and he’s finally falling asleep so we can tube him. As I slowly stood up and lifted him up to see him on the OR bed, I felt my own body becoming warm and tingly. That was the first time I had been peed on in a few years.
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Apr 22, 2020 03:59
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Willingly? Or otherwise? Av posting combo 
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Apr 22, 2020 04:33
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My first trip to ICU had them put in a catheter which stayed in after I moved back to High Dependence. I developed a gut bleed so I was put on TPN while being nil by mouth for a few days (and then clear fluids and then <5g of fat because I had a chyle leak going into my right lung). TPN sure makes you seem to piss a lot, to the point where I woke up with a real start and a horrible odd feeling as the tube fell out and I wet myself. Turns out the balloon exploded in there, which none of the nurses had ever seen before.
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Apr 22, 2020 11:31
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HiroProtagonist posted:Lmao. I love the stories that are just two pictures and zero commentary, because none is necessary. This is a classic:   https://people.well.com/user/cynsa/cement.html in case you're wondering
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Apr 23, 2020 07:59
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So heres one making the rounds right now that is pretty amazing on the sheer fact the patient made it out of the ER to ICU, I only have hearsay on what happened from nurses because it was during day shift. So the patient came into the ER for numbness in his leg. This plus swelling indicates a DVT or deep vein thrombus, basically he has a big clot in his leg that is backing blood there. So standard practice in an ER is we take the patient to ultrasound and based on the findings we can start blood thinners admit or release with followup depending on what is seen. Except that the thrombus broke a clot off from him walking in on it apparently and 30 minutes after getting settled and waiting for US to get to him he had a stroke. So the ER goes straight from worrying about the leg and DVT to getting TPA started to save his brain tissue and dissolve the clot. However the :ironycat: came back with yet another twist. Guy's BP had spiked during all this, and his heart finally said that it was tired and done, and the guys EKG showed he was in a STEMI or better known as he was having a heart attack. So to recap, came in with DVT, progressed to a stroke, then added a heart attack. Someone put a curse on this guy and wanted him dead. Somehow the guy was able to be stabilized without ever entering cardiac arrest and be transported to our sister hospital with the cath lab and cardiac ICU, probably made possible because every nurse doctor and PA could focus on his treatment while the ER was near empty that day. But it was surely one of the most insane sequence of events I have heard of so far and the fact he made it out was amazing.
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Apr 23, 2020 08:53
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I wish this thread was still stickied, I don't have anything interesting to contribute but I wanna read it. Let's see... when I was a kid (preteen) I was playing around with my little brother, we were on holiday! We had bunk beds! He was on the top bunk, leaning over, flailing his arms to get me, upside down on my back on the bottom bunk, and he couldn't reach me. What he could reach was a really heavy mug on my bedside table which he knocked and it fell directly onto my face. I felt an odd pain in my eye. The game was over. I ran to the bathroom hearing my brother behind me: "You're BLEEDING!!" I was bleeding. There was enough blood that it wasn't clear where the injury to my eye was. My mum was there. It was actually fine, there was a cut on my lower eyelid at the outer corner. We drove 40 minutes to the nearest A+E. I got 3 stitches. Getting them taken out hurt more than any of the rest of it. Got a cool little scar! I realise this isn't as dramatic as I played it but I like this thread and want more of it! Oh, same brother story. My parents had turned the garage into a bedroom for them when my youngest brother was born. Had a new hardwood floor laid. It was really shiny. My brother and I were sliding around on this brand new floor in our socks like an ice rink. I fell over. This should have been fine, but then my brother decided to jump onto my back and slam my face into the brand new floor. Broke both my front teeth. I was nine. I'm 31 now. I've undergone multiple painful and expensive dental procedures attempting to make my front teeth look presentable. That kid owes me several thousand pounds for getting that poo poo fixed and I will never let him forget it
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Apr 28, 2020 00:43
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I have plenty of stories to share for this thread. Today, I’ll talk about garlic and broke dick. I haven’t shared these in awhile. Garlic is a pretty well known natural home remedy for yeast infections. A very proper older woman checked into the ER for a complaint of vaginal pain. This is an extremely common complaint, and at the time I was working in a city infamous for a proliferation of myriad STIs. While this was the expected cause, it was always good to do a pelvic exam just to be safe. Surprisingly, she did not have an STI, she’d had a yeast infection about a week ago. However, it never got better and she started to have horrible pain and slimy pink discharge. As the doc was performing the pelvic exam, suddenly he finds a whole head of garlic that had been deposited in her nethers, clove by clove. Raw garlic is absolutely a treatment for yeast infections, but you know what else it can do? Raw garlic causes chemical burns. There have been documented cases of garlic causing second degree burns. This was one of those cases. 2AM on a random Thursday night, a generic 50-something hobbles into the ER. His thinning hair a mess, his suit jacket wrinkled and clumsily pulled over his shoulders, half of his dress shirt crammed into his pants, the other side completely untucked and wrinkled. Dude looked like had seen some poo poo that night. He shuffled up to our registration desk, took the sign in forms and stared at them for a good 5 minutes before writing in his chief complaint. All he’d written for a chief compilation was “broke dick.” He was in the city in business, he lived several states away. That night at the hotel bar he’d tossed back a few drinks, and noticed a woman he took a liking to. They hit it off, they have a few more drinks, and next thing they know they’re up in his hotel room banging it out. Tale as old as time. However, he overestimates his length, undershot the target, and felt and exploding pop as his dick tried to penetrate a pubic symphysis. Back to the ER he shows us his absolutely destroyed penis that could probably void around corners at this point. As I’m walking him back to a treatment room and informing him that he’ll probably need surgery, our hotel room Romeo mutters “hmm, I’m not sure what I’m going to tell me wife.”
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Apr 28, 2020 06:42
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I have an anesthesia story. I went in for some spinal injections; C3 and C4. This was going to be outpatient, so I did some paperwork, changed into a gown and got led in back. They plunk me down on a gurney, and the doctor comes up and starts going over the procedure while putting an IV into the back of my right hand. They leave me there for a bit, and then a nurse gets me up and takes me back into a recovery area. I was thinking "if they aren't going to do the procedure, shouldn't someone say something ?" I lay there a while, watching the shadows dance and people drift back and forth. Then I thought, "if they aren't going to do the proc... oh !" Anesthesiologist put me down so easy I never noticed the gap.
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Apr 28, 2020 07:49
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These anesthesia stories kill me. Most people have zero idea what anesthesia providers do or what anesthesia does. Also not to get into a political argument, but a “physician anesthesiologist” probably didn’t do your anesthesia. It was most likely a CRNA. Here’s a few fun anesthesia stories. Anesthesia really fucks with your cognitive filter. Any thoughts or ideas that might embarrass you in public will come ROCKETING out of your mouth faster than we can be embarrassed for you. Extremely awkward middle aged guy undergoes general anesthesia and as I land him in the recovery room he is awake but feeling rather fuzzy. He is; however, awake enough to hear me report to the PACU nurse that I had intubate with succs (succinylcholine, a common muscle relaxant). Hearing this, he begins to scream “you didn’t suck me! No one sucked my dick. Why won’t you suck my dick, Please?” He then proceeded to yell and cry throughout this massive recovery unit begging for a blow job. My preceptor and I, side eyed eachother, gave another bump of dilaudid and rapidly snuck off to grab our next patient before someone could rope us into dealing with that mess. The number of times people will wake up after surgery and scream “Wait, I’m not asleep yet!” or argue that they haven’t had surgery yet is relatively high. Which probably just means anesthesia is doing their job correctly.
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Apr 28, 2020 21:43
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I have more stories but I doing my ems training and making GBS threads myself in the head from lack of sleep and oh I might be moving before nursing school starts and oh Lord I need to figure out squad time and yeah I'll post after I sleep. Got a good one about a guy that had his entire calf muscle exposed or the guy that literally coded in a wheelchair. And can probably do an explanation on why Tylenol od is super mega bad and don't od on Tylenol it's not quick or pleasant and will hurt. 
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Apr 29, 2020 00:01
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UCS Hellmaker posted:I have more stories but I doing my ems training and making GBS threads myself in the head from lack of sleep and oh I might be moving before nursing school starts and oh Lord I need to figure out squad time and yeah I'll post after I sleep. Got a good one about a guy that had his entire calf muscle exposed or the guy that literally coded in a wheelchair. If you have any questions about EMS stuff, feel free to PM me, ive been doing 911 EMS for 6 years now. There’s also a good thread in The Goon Doctor!
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Apr 29, 2020 00:07
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This isn’t a super crazy one but thought I’d share because I found it funny. Last year I had a vasectomy, and I don’t know how common this is, but the doctor who did it schedules all of his vasectomies on one day per month, when he and his team just bang out like 25 of them back to back. I can’t imagine that’s a fun day for them, just ball sacks all day as far as the eye can see. So I was one of the earlier appointments of the day, and during the whole procedure (which only takes like 15-20 minutes) the doctor and nurses had this thing to keep them sane during this day where they would do movie quotes and see if the patient could identify them. Apparently I’m the only one who’s ever gotten every one right, though I’m not sure I believe it since they weren’t that hard. The doctor was particularly impressed I got a specific one from Reservoir Dogs right. Again, not that odd, though I have to say answering movie trivia while...on display like that is one of the more surreal experiences of my life.
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Apr 29, 2020 00:51
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UCS Hellmaker posted:I have more stories but I doing my ems training and making GBS threads myself in the head from lack of sleep and oh I might be moving before nursing school starts and oh Lord I need to figure out squad time and yeah I'll post after I sleep. Got a good one about a guy that had his entire calf muscle exposed or the guy that literally coded in a wheelchair. Good luck dude! I feel your pain I’m studying for my boards right now. When I get a chance I need to talk about gonorrhea and ghosts, plus a few deglovings.
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Apr 29, 2020 01:51
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A little over a year and a half ago, my dad got shot with an arrow in a freak accident. He and my mom were fishing at a the public pond in the rural town they live in. He had showed her a broken fishing pole piece he found in the bushes, and then went off to the other side of the pond to fish. A bit later he came staggering towards her, clutching at his abdomen telling her he'd been shot. She thought he had decided to do a gag with the fishing pole piece, but he was absolutely serious. At about the same time, a teenage kid came running over from a house across the street from the pond. He had been doing a little 'archery practice' in his grandparent's yard, with broadheads. He lost control and the arrow flew across the road, skipped on the ground and got my dad. There were a couple other people at the pond so between them and my mom, someone managed to call 911. Mom also managed to call me and tell me Dad got shot while they were fishing, which was VERY confusing to me. I was thinking gun, so arrow was a bit of an improvement! Dad got life-flighted to the hospital in my city and I made it to the hospital as the helicopter was landing. Fortunately for them, they buy life flight insurance every year. They took him right into surgery and removed about a foot of small his small bowel. The surgeon said it was skewered on the arrow shaft like a shish kabob. He really wanted her to give him the arrowhead so he could make a plaque but I'm pretty sure she couldn't accommodate requests for souvenirs.  He only lost a liter of blood, and they let him out of the hospital after 5 days, but there were some complications with his heart (afib) as well as an abscess and then a hernia that kept him going back to various doctors and surgery centers for several months afterward. He was able to go on a family vacation to the beach last summer, and he's pretty much back to doing normal rural active stuff (fishing, wood cutting, machinery operation, etc) this year.
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Apr 29, 2020 04:39
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HiroProtagonist posted:That's pretty interesting, I had a bout about 8 years ago during a (edit: unrelated, but also extremely related) tough time in life with something that looked almost the same. Hey, I had this in my mid-teens! My brother had just broken his leg so badly we thought it would have to be amputated and he had to stay in a hospital bed in the front room of the house and basically couldn't move. I had this god-awful scabby layer all over my thighs and entire torso and even up my neck that itched so bad I would sometimes take my shirt off and rub my body on the carpet to scratch all of it at once. I never went to the doctor or anything and eventually it just went away  I'm immunocompromised so I just figured it was something like that. I have psoriasis on my scalp now, wonder if that's related.
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Apr 29, 2020 05:22
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letthereberock posted:This isn’t a super crazy one but thought I’d share because I found it funny. Last year I had a vasectomy, and I don’t know how common this is, but the doctor who did it schedules all of his vasectomies on one day per month, when he and his team just bang out like 25 of them back to back. I can’t imagine that’s a fun day for them, just ball sacks all day as far as the eye can see. This is both funny and relatable because when I got Valium'd the nurse said "what are you going to do now?" and apparently my response was a litany of action movie quotes. I don't know what I said at all now but I have no idea why I'd have just cut loose with them. I can only guess it was a blessing when I started snoring. Valium is a hilarious and often dangerous thing
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Apr 29, 2020 06:04
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packetmantis posted:Hey, I had this in my mid-teens! My brother had just broken his leg so badly we thought it would have to be amputated and he had to stay in a hospital bed in the front room of the house and basically couldn't move. I had this god-awful scabby layer all over my thighs and entire torso and even up my neck that itched so bad I would sometimes take my shirt off and rub my body on the carpet to scratch all of it at once. I never went to the doctor or anything and eventually it just went away Yo that sucks a lot!! For real though 
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Apr 29, 2020 06:14
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So this is one of my psych stories and involves a young woman with PTSD and probably one of the ones I feel the most about especially when she comes in for an attack. Patient is a known figure because she suffers from debilitating anxiety attacks when she gets a flare up. She is a rape survivor and is terrified of unknown men at normal times. I had dealt with her a few times last year and had some experiences with her. She has a flare up that causes her to start drinking, which many people with experience can tell you is a bad idea. Drinking makes her anxiety worse which makes her drink more. The cycle repeats until she ends up in the ER at a bac of above .35 and almost catatonic because shes so anxious and terrified. Typically we couldn't even have a male staff member in the room because she would tense up and hyperventilate even with other staff in the room. We usually had to wait for her to sober up and sleep off the worst of it so we could get her home safely, whereupon she was a sweet girl extremely apologetic to everyone about putting us through this again. She had gotten some help with her alcoholism early this year and was doing better but had a relapse a month or so ago and wound up back in the ER. Catatonic was the best way to put it, she was utterly terrified when our doctor went in to talk to her and mainly answered in stuttering one syllables if anything was asked. Because I knew her and saw the state she was in I tried to let the female nurse handle everything to help with her anxiety but I had to go in to help her at one point. I went in and could see her instantly tense up and start rapid breathing and knew I had to either back away or try and calm her down as best I could. Soft speech and eye level communication got her to slowly open up enough to try and talk to me, then reach out to grab my hand to steady herself. She kept me in the room for almost an hour (which thankfully was ok since covid had our census down!) but in that time I had her open up enough to me that she could talk and have a conversation with me and not stuck in the anxiety loop she had been in repeating the same sentence relieving her episode over and over in her head. I let her vent to me and talked with her as a person something that she noticed and commented on, because many of the times she came in she was just another patient, not a person. Sometimes in this job we look at patients as nothing more then their chief complaint and number, we stop looking at them as a person. This was a patient that should have been a psych admit but instead was safely allowed to go home because we looked at her as a whole. I didn't look at her as just another drunk and that was one reason she reached out to me. I took the time to treat her like a person and in doing so had her reach out to me to stabilize herself and steady herself from the demons that she had stuck in her head. Hearing her tell me that I was the first guy she ever felt calm around in years was  as hell and seeing how much better she was from my time with her made me remember some of why we do what we do. Those days when you have the patient hug you when they leave are important.I tell most of my psych patients I only want to see them again for medical reasons and honestly mean it. I want people to get better and not end up back with us because they are in a crisis.I kinda got all over and scatterbrained but sometimes in medical we do get that patient we care about past them being a patient. And going the extra mile sometimes is even more then what we typically think of, sometimes it basically is becoming a friend to someone that needs your help in a way that they cant have outside. My patient made a lasting impression on me on her last visit that I will hold close, and I know I made a lasting impression on her that hopefully she can use to get better and overcome her demons because she isnt worthless or a waste of a drunk. yeah I can be a sad sack sometimes sue me
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Apr 30, 2020 10:59
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Several years ago we took a prisoner in for medical clearance since he was high as poo poo on meth. He's in the security holding and the ER doc, whom I believe is Ethiopian (African, at any rate), comes in to check him. Suspect is being a major rear end, yelling racial epithets and obscenities at the doc (who is a very mild mannered, small older man) so the doc goes to administer meds (Ativan, I presume?) to quiet him down. Suspect looks at him and says "the gently caress are you doing to me, N-word?" and the doc says "I'm going to knock you out so we can cut off your penis" and injects him. The bug eyed look of horror on that guy's face keeps me warm on winter nights.
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May 1, 2020 02:42
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letthereberock posted:This isn’t a super crazy one but thought I’d share because I found it funny. Last year I had a vasectomy, and I don’t know how common this is, but the doctor who did it schedules all of his vasectomies on one day per month, when he and his team just bang out like 25 of them back to back. I can’t imagine that’s a fun day for them, just ball sacks all day as far as the eye can see. Sup, vasectomy buddy.  I think urologist are a specialty where you have to have a good sense of humor. When I went in for my consult, after introducing himself, he said, "Alright, let's drop those pants and have a look at the ol' twig and berries." Then a couple weeks later for the procedure, I wasn't numbed up enough, and REALLY felt that first cut into my sack. Turns out I'm resistant to lidocaine. Another couple shots made it numb, but dental procedures were the worst. When I had a root canal, even after as much lidocaine as the dentist dared give me, I was feeling that little scraper thing on that nerve and it was one of the most painful things in my life. Other contenders are cutting off a tip of my finger with a chunk of the nail, separating my shoulder, and breaking my ankle.
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May 1, 2020 23:35
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Hi five lidocaine buddy. Any of the novacaine lidocaine meds don't affect me so I have to grin and bare it. Sliced my hand pretty bad one day and the suturing hurt worse then the cut. And by god is it an amazing sight when you see smoke rising from your balls during the vasect, Its an experience. They gave me Xanax for an antianxiety and numbed me up, then as soon as they did the first cut I told them to give me the second pill because oh boy you could feel it. Took like 20 minutes all said and done? And I'm 8 years out and no kiddos so he did great. You do walk like you have tickets afterwards and my balls hurt for the next few days. My wife laughed at me everytime I complained
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May 2, 2020 00:28
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Vasectomy : I had my vasectomy during part of my paternity leave when my twins were born. My wife and I were sitting in the waiting room when they called my name. I walked back and met the doctor. He asked me a few basic questions and then asked if I had as someone to take me home. I told him, "yes, my wife is in the waiting room." He then told me, "She doesn't have to sit our there" and sent the nurse to fetch her. So he has her come in and has a chair by him for her to sit in. I had this apron type thing that blocked my view of what was going on, but she watched the whole thing and asked all kinds of questions and joked with the doctor and I. When done, I walked to the desk, paid $1.68 for the procedure and walked to the car. I got in, sat down and suddenly had the worst nosebleed of my life. Like, I had to get out of the car to not ruin the upholstery bad. It finally got better and we drove home. I kept cold packs on my scrote off/on the first day. I never had any pain or other issues. However, my balls are more sensitive than they used to be or it may just be that I have twin boys (now 6) who jump onto my lap or otherwise knee, elbow, run into, headbutt my balls multiple times a day and it just seems that way. 3-Day Hospital Stay: It was a few days before Christmas 2018 that I noticed this bump under my right nostril. Felt like a pimple that hadn't come to a head yet and didn't think much about it. Christmas Eve rolls around and my mom and dad and the in-laws came to our house. By that time, it was swollen bad enough my upper lip looked funny. We had lunch and opened presents with my kids. Just in that short time it had gotten worse and I went to the Med Check down the road. The doctor looked at it and told me I definitely had some sort of infection. He asked me about allergies and I told him that I was allergic to penicillin. He gives me a prescription for Keflex and assures me that only 5-10% of people allergic to penicillin have reactions to it. About 6 hours later, I was at the emergency room with a big, swollen head. They kept me for a couple hours and once the swelling started going down, they sent me home around 2am with a recommendation for a doctor nearby for a follow up. I ended up at the big family Christmas on Christmas day and felt better, but the original swelling was still there and getting worse. By that night, I looked like a who (of the Dr Seuss variety). went to the follow up appointment on the 27th. The doctor took a look and offered to lance it in the office. It hurt and I wanted it to stop so I agreed. That lasted about 30 seconds after he did a quick stab and I about flew out of the chair. He made a couple phone calls and I was in the emergency room at the hospital where his office was located. One of the ER docs took a better look at it and after some probing decided to lance it from inside my mouth instead of from outside below my nose. After some numbing, he lanced it and almost immediately it felt better. I then got to stay that night and two full days getting pumped full of antibiotics while I poo poo posted and played Pubg mobile. Kirk Vikernes has a new favorite as of 02:26 on May 2, 2020 |
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May 2, 2020 02:19
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Ohhh vasectomy stories, I've got one of those too! Well, not me, but my husband. I had to make the appointment, because he was worried I'd have a stroke and die from birth control pills, but also was a big procrastinator about the whole thing. So I went with the clinic with the cute dog on the website, and hoped I'd get to pet the dog at the consult. We both went to the consult, and the Dr is going over the pros and cons of the procedure, but staring only at me when talking about how "THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT TO REVERSE ARE YOU SURE?" several times, while I answer "gently caress yeah, no babies please" several times. I think he repeated that about four times, which looking back is understandable because my husband is older then I am. Then the oldest, most terrifyingly threadbare dachshund slowly ambles in and I try crossing my legs on my chair because I do not want that dog touching my bare legs. How old was that photo on the website? What is wrong with this dog's fur? Dog wanders into another room, all is OK with the world again. Time for the physical exam, Dr needs hubs to take off his pants and show him the scrotum to see if it can physically be done and I don't remember what exactly the Dr said but it was something along the lines of saying how easy the procedure will be due to the apparent large size of husband's sack. We make the appointment for the actual procedure and leave, and on the drive home it hits me and I say "hey wait a second, did the guy who's job it is to look at balls all day compliment your balls?" I later found out this Dr is gay, so I'm extra proud a gay ball Dr complimented my husband's balls. I wasn't allowed in the room for the actual procedure but I'm told it was a little punch, then some tugging sensations and a smell of burning flesh, then a prescription for 10 Tylenol #3's that he only took 1 of that I will forever be bitter about because when I got an IUD installed all I got was told to take 600 mg ibuprofen.
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May 2, 2020 05:25
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