Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna
:nws: ancient nudity below:nws:

There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.



Memnon says that Klearchus was the first to attempt to make himself Tyrant of the kingdom, originally seated in Herakleia "Pontike". Klearchus had received an education in philosophy; he was one of the pupils of Plato, and for four years he had been a pupil of the rhetorician Isocrates. But he turned out to be truly savage and bloodthirsty towards his subjects, and reached the peak of arrogance, so that he called himself the son of Zeus, and tinged his face with unnatural dyes, adorning it in all kinds of different ways to make it appears glistening or ruddy to those who saw him; and varied his clothing to appear fearsome or elegant.


This was not his only vice; he showed no gratitude to his benefactors, was extremely violent, and ventured to carry out the most appalling deeds. He ruthlessly destroyed those he attacked, not only amongst his own people but whenever he perceived a threat elsewhere. However he was the first of those who were called tyrants to establish a library.


Because of his murderous, cruel and arrogant character many plots were formed against him, but he escaped them all until eventually Chion, the son of Matris, a high-minded man who was a blood relation of Klearchus, formed a conspiracy with Leon, Euxenon, and many others. They gave Klearchus a fatal blow, and he died miserably from his wound. When the tyrant was making a public sacrifice, Chion and his associates thought that this would be an opportunity for action, and Chion plunged a sword into the side of their common enemy. Klearchus was wracked by a great and piercing pain, and he was tormented by horrible visions (these visions were the ghosts of those he had cruelly murdered). Two days later he expired, after living for 58 years, of which he was tyrant for 12 years. At that time Artaxerxes was king of Persia, and after him his son Ochus. Klearchus sent many embassies to them during his lifetime. However almost all the tyrant's assassins were killed. Some were cut down by the bodyguard at the time of the attack, fighting bravely. Others were captured later and subjected to terrible tortures.


Satyrus the brother of Klearchus took over the government, acting as guardian of the tyrant's sons, Timotheus and Dionysius. Satyrus exceeded not only Klearchus but all the other tyrants in his cruelty. Not only did he take vengeance on those who had plotted against his brother, but he inflicted equally intolerable harm on their children, who had taken no part in what their parents had done, and he punished many innocent people as if they were criminals. He was completely uninterested in learning, philosophy and all the other liberal arts. His only passion was for murder, and he did not want to learn about or practice anything which was humane or civilized.


He was evil in every way, even if time lessened his desire to sate himself with murders and the blood of his countrymen; but he did show a conspicuous affection towards his brother. He kept the leadership of the state safe for the children of his brother, and valued the welfare of the boys so highly that, although he had a wife and loved her dearly, he was determined not to have a child, and used every possible device to render himself childless, in order that he should not leave behind anyone who could be a rival to his nephews.


While he was still alive, but weighed down by old age, Satyrus passed on control of the state to Timotheus, the elder son of his brother, and shortly afterwards he was afflicted by a severe and untreatable illness. A cancerous growth spread underneath between his groin and his scrotum, and irrupted painfully towards his inwards. An opening formed in his flesh and discharges ran out with a foul and unbearable smell, so that his retinue and his doctors could no longer conceal the all-pervading stench of the putrefaction. Continual sharp pains racked his whole body, consigning him to sleeplessness and convulsions, until eventually the disease spread to his internal organs, and deprived him of his life. Like Klearchus, Satyrus gave to those who saw him when he was dying the impression that he was paying the penalty for his savage and lawless abuse of the citizens. They say that often during his illness he would vainly pray for death, and after he had been consumed by this harsh and grievous affliction for many days, he finally paid his due. He had lived for 65 years, and was tyrant for seven years, while Archidamus was king of Sparta.


Timotheus took over the government and reformed it to a milder and more democratic regime, so that his subjects no longer called him a Tyrant, but a benefactor and saviour. He paid off their debts to the moneylenders from his own resources, and gave interest-free loans to the needy for their trade and for the rest of their living expenses. He released innocent men, and even the guilty, from the prisons. He was a strict but humane judge, and in other respects he had a good and trustworthy nature. So he cared for his brother Dionysius like a father in every way, making him joint ruler at the start, and then appointing him to be his successor. He also showed a brave spirit in matters of war. He was magnanimous and noble in body and in mind, and he was fair and gracious in the settlement of wars. He was skilful at grasping an opportunity, and vigorous in achieving what he contemplated; he was merciful and just in character, and relentless in his boldness; he was moderate, kind and compassionate. Therefore in his lifetime he was an object of great fear to his enemies, who all dreaded and hated him; but to his subjects he was agreeable and gentle, so that when he died he was much missed, and his death aroused grief mixed with longing. His brother Dionysius cremated his body magnificently, pouring out tears from his eyes and groans from his heart. He held horse races in his honour; and not only horse races, but theatrical and choral and gymnastic contests. He held some of the contests immediately and others, yet more splendid, later on.


Dionysius became the next ruler of Herakleia and increased its power; Alexander's victory over the Persians at the river Granicus had opened the way for those who wanted to increase their power, by cutting down the strength of the Persians, which had previously been an obstacle to them all. But later he experienced many dangers, especially when the exiles from Herakleia sent an embassy to Alexander, who had by then completely conquered Asia, asking him to grant their return and to restore the city to its traditional democracy. Because of this Dionysius was almost removed from power, and he would have been removed if he had not been very clever and quick-witted, earning the goodwill of his subjects and courting the favour of Cleopatra. And so he resisted the enemies who threatened him; sometimes he yielded to their demands, mollifying their anger and putting them off with delays, and at other times he took measures against them.


When Alexander died at Babylon from venom or disease, Dionysius set up a statue of Euthymia, Goddess of Joy, after hearing the news. In his great delight when the message first arrived, he suffered the same effect which extreme grief might produce: he almost collapsed with the shock, and seemed to have become senseless. The exiles from Herakleia urged Perdiccas, who had taken over the government, to follow the same policy they submit to Alexander, but Dionysius, though on a knife's edge, by similar methods escaped all the dangers which were facing him. Perdiccas was a poor leader and was killed by his men; the hopes of the exiles were extinguished, and Dionysius enjoyed prosperity in all his undertakings.


The greatest good fortune came to him from his second marriage. He married Amastris, the daughter of Oxathres; this Oxathres was the brother of Darius, whose daughter Stateira Alexander took as his wife after killing her father. So the two women were cousins, and also they had been brought up together, which gave them a special affection for each other. When he married Stateira, Alexander gave this child Amastris to Kraterus, one of his closest friends. After Alexander departed from this world, Kraterus turned to Phila the daughter of Antipater, and with the agreement of her former husband Amastris went to live with Dionysius. From this time onwards, his realm flourished greatly, because of the wealth which the marriage brought to him and his own love of display. He decided to buy the entire royal equipment of another Dionysius, the tyrant of Syrakousai, who had been removed from power. It was not only this that strengthened his power, but also the success and goodwill of his subjects, including many who had not previously been under his control. He gave outstanding aid to Antigonus the ruler of Asia when he was besieging Cyprus, and as a reward received Antigonus' nephew Ptolemaeus, the general of the forces by the Hellespont, to be his daughter's husband; this was his daughter from his previous marriage. After achieving such distinction, he disdained the title of tyrant and called himself a king.


Now that he was free from all fear and worry, he gave himself up to a life of continual luxury, so that he grew fat and unnaturally bloated. As a result, not only did he pay less attention to governing the state, but also when he went to sleep he was only with difficulty roused from his soporific state by being pierced with large needles, which was the only remaining way of reviving him from his unconscious torpor. He had three children by Amastris: Klearchus, Oxathres, and a daughter with the same name as her mother. For most of this marriage, he left Amastris in charge of the government, acting as guardian along with some others for the children, who were still quite young. He had lived for 55 years, out of which he was ruler for about 30 years. He was, it was said, a very mild ruler and earned the epithet "the Good" from his character; his subjects were deeply saddened by his death.


Even after his departure from this world, the city still flourished, while Antigonus carefully protected the interests of the children of Dionysius and their citizens. But when Antigonus' interest turned elsewhere, Lysimachus again took charge of Herakleia and the children, and even made Amastris his wife. To start with, he was very much in love with her, but when the pressure of events demanded it, he left her at Herakleia and went off to deal with urgent business. When he was free from his many troubles, he soon sent for her to join him at Sardis, where he showed her equal affection. But later he transferred his affection to the daughter of Ptolemy Philadelphus, who was called Arsinoe, and this caused Amastris to part from him. After leaving him, she took control of Herakleia; she revived the city by her presence, and created the new city of Amastris.


Lysimachus, upon hearing of his ex-wife's deeds took it upon himself to see her accomplishment. When he arrived there, he was full of praise for Amastris; he marveled at her character and the way she ruled, how she had built up her realm in size and importance and strength. He exalted Herakleia, and included praise for Tius and Amastris, the city which she had founded in her name. By saying all this, he aroused in Arsinoe a furious jealousy and a desire to be mistress of the places which he was praising, and she demanded he grant her wish. To begin with he refused, saying that it was too much to give, an act of violent treachery. But later as she continued to entreat him, he acceded; for Arsinoe was not easily put off and old age had made Lysimachus more malleable. For the fourth time the Diadochi mobilized for war.


Amastris, having numerous spies within the Thracian court, was forwarned of Lysimachus treachery and moved her palace and much of the Herakleian population to the city she had built. This is how the Pontic city-state of Herakleia became the kingdom of Amastria, and Amastris it's capital. Desperate for aid against the Diadochi's vast armies, Amastris send out embassies to her surviving countrymen and friends in foreign courts. Amastris invoked her nations innocence, the Diadochi's ceaseless violence, and for the first (but not the last) time her own Divinity. A paltry number of her countrymen actually made the pilgrimage to Bithynia to fight under her banner. But her proclamation, and the war that followed, would have a great deal of influence on all peoples who suffered beneath the Macedonian Yoke...

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna
Welcome to Seed of Anshan: A Paradox LP! In this LP we'll follow the trials and tribulations of the last branch of the Achaimenid dynasty. Historically Amastris is murdered by her oafish sons, and Lysimachus annexes the kingdom at the behest of Arsinoe, the Lagid homewrecker. Herakleia the city falls into obscurity, and Amastris the city does well enough for a time that it's designated a Metropolis by the Roman Empire, and Constantinople names a district after it, before the city falls into sparsely populated obscurity. Let's see if we can do better.

Game Policys:
Amastria is an Autocracy. And is currently in a war of intrigue with it's former democratic government-in-exile. There is no official parliament for the average or even above average citizen to make their voice heard in. There is, however, a useless upper crust of nobles and bureaucrats who the Achaimenids can't merely throw down a well for annoying them. IE the posters of this forum. I'm gonna take a page out of a better LP runners book and let you all make courtiers, and among the courtiers factions. Who can influence and force the hand of your megalomaniacal god-kings, and partake in GM created missions and events.
I will also be making heavy use of the console to enforce the outcomes of these events on Imperator: Romes somewhat bland and inflexible world.
Example: Furius Manlius(aka poster Weedlord6969) is a senatorial refugee from Rome, and is sent on an ambassadorial mission to Scythia to request aid. While there he bangs the local Khans daughter triggering an invasion instead.

This sort of intervention is necessary because more than any other paradox game, I:R is a blobbing simulator and most games end with the largest blobs at the beginning owning the entire map and the entire planet speaking greek and latin. I've also modded the game a bit to make there be a bit more difficulty baked into the system.

Discord: https://discord.gg/SUYrnsM
:getin:

Zedhe Khoja fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Apr 28, 2020

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna
Current State of the Kingdom

Year: 304 BC

Current Ruler: Banbisn, Amastris I Achaimenid Aphrodite


Great Families: Achaimenid, Dionysos

Religion: Syncretic Zoroastrian

Culture: Parsi

Royal Pantheon:
War- The Hellenic Hero-God, Herakles

Culture- The Cybelene Moon-God, Men

Fertility- The Zoroastrian God-Queen, Amastris Aphrodite

Prosperity The Zoroastrian Vashta, Asha Vahishta


Minor Gods and Prophets:
Zoroastrian Pantheon
Hellenic Pantheon
The Chaldean War-Godess, Ishtar

Great Laws:


Lesser Laws:

Allies: none lol

Enemies:


Our monarchs jilted exlover and the dumb brat who ruined everything.

Our western neighbor who hates us.
Foreign Notables:
The other Diadochi




Independent Aryans



Minor Hellenic Powers




Diplomatic Missions:

Zedhe Khoja fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Apr 28, 2020

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

Is that Kars

Sinner Sandwich
Oct 13, 2012

Rody One Half posted:

Is that Kars

As it should be. Fitness is a facet of culture.

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna

Sinner Sandwich posted:

As it should be. Fitness is a facet of culture.

Amastris takes the worship of Men very seriously. Unfortunately no one else in the kingdom does, and his omens do literally nothing. He'll probably be the first god replaced.
But the coinage Amastris minted had Men on the front and Aphrodite (likely representing her own self) on the back holding out Eros (the god of sexual love) to mankind.

The mint continued to run after the kingdom was conquered and just made generically Hellenistic coins.

Zedhe Khoja fucked around with this message at 12:39 on Apr 28, 2020

NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
Wow, I can't even see us on that map. We're doomed!

KOGAHAZAN!!
Apr 29, 2013

a miserable failure as a person

an incredible success as a magical murder spider

Zedhe Khoja posted:

Royal Pantheon:
War- The Hellenic Hero-God, Herakles

Culture- The Cybelene Moon-God, Men

Fertility- The Zoroastrian God-Queen, Amastris Aphrodite

Prosperity The Zoroastrian Vashta, Asha Vahishta


Where the heck are these from?

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna

KOGAHAZAN!! posted:

Where the heck are these from?


The borders are from a big folder someone posted on a Discord ages ago (about 170 of em) and the images inside largely come from me typing things like "sexy male moon god art" into pinterest.

Like this one I made of Amun-Ra just now.
Post incoming-like a couple hours.
Also: https://discord.gg/SUYrnsM

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

Ground floor for the first (?) Imperator lp, and with such a neat start too. This should be fun

Chatrapati
Nov 6, 2012
This is cool. I don't think I've seen this Paradox game before.

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna


So now that the history of the foundation of the kingdom is out of the way, and our impending doom has been announced, where does that leave us? What's the situation? And what are our options? And who is this Persian heiress who's poor choices in her love life are now getting us all killed?


Lets start with the geography, political and physical. Our kingdom is nestled between the Pontus Euxinus and several largely impassable mountain ranges. To our immediate east are numerous Anatolian tribal kingdoms and Pontic Greek cities, foremost among them Paphlagonia, Pontus, and Sinope. We've avoided expanding east and have friendly trading relations with them. While they would make good allies in the short term, they remain one of the more likely avenues for military expansion once our survival is assured.
To our west are the Bithynians and their ambitious King, Zipoetes. We've been expanding at his expense for some time, and he's thrown his lot in with Lysimachos with the ambition of ruling as his regent in Asia Minor. Beyond are the wealthy cities of Byzantion and Chalkedon, who control the straits that separate us from certain death. While we hope they're willing to die on our behalf for no real benefit, this is decidedly unlikely.


In the rest of Greece is Great Makedon itself, allied with Lysimachos, and numerous semi-independent cities underneath the sway of one Diadochi or another, with the exception of the diminished Spartans. Fortunately our fledgling kingdom has maintained good relations with the lacedaemonians due to a mutual hatred of Alexander and his successors, and the proximity of our mother city, Megara, long since eclipsed. Could make valuable allies on the Diadochi's southern flank? On the Aegean coast is Epirus, ruled by a strapping young lad by the name of Pyrrhos.


To the south is the realm of the aging Cyclops, Antigonos. While not an ally, we've avoided alienating him and have even fought under his banner years past, and his nephew still serves in our court. Distressingly he controls the mountain pass of Bithynion into our kingdom. He's on the brink of war with the other Diadochi already and might find our independence a valuable excuse to preempt the four-on-one Diadochi dogpile he expects (and historically resulted in the demise of both his kingdom and himself) The Ionic greeks and almost everyone else on this map are all vassals of Antigonos. Any interference in that state of affairs means death-by-cyclops.


Farther away is Lagid Egypt. Unlikely allies to say the least due to Lysimachos marriage to Arsinoe, a Lagid. Seleukas has eyes only for the annexation of Syria. An alliance with him would mean death-by-cyclops.


Beyond Seleukas (and too far for diplomacy atm) the former Eastern Frontier of the Achaimenids is held in bondage to swamp-dwelling barbarians from distant Bangli, and the great Citadel-city of Balkh is ruled by yet more Macedonian tyrants. The humiliation never ends.


In the mountains of the Caucasus and Zagros are independent Satraps, who have no love for the Greeks and a deep respect for the Achaimenid name.


And to the north are the Bosporan greeks and the unbroken Saka nomads who bedeviled the Persian Empire throughout it's entire existence.

And now for the domestic situation. First off is the Big A herself:

Easily the kingdoms greatest asset and Antiquity's most eligible bachelorette, Amastris is a diplomatic powerhouse and expert administrator. Bringing not only her vast personal connections, ancient name, and personal skills, Amastris is probably the richest person west of the Indos thanks to decades of constant large scale conflict and civilization level looting. Historically this is the real reason Amastris was so desired. Everyone was broke as hell and she had enough money to. finance her kingdom out of pocket. This personal wealth is, sad to say, largely unavailable to the state but can be used for myriad purposes by Amastris herself.
Along with Amastris are her children Clearchus, Oxyathres, and Amastris "Peitho".

What a smug little brat Peitho is. Her sons openly hate her for not passing on rule of the kingdom to her and are likely plotting her demise. This is to be expected.


The only other three notable people in the kingdom are Ptolemaeus, nephew of Antigonus, and his wife Satyria Dionysos; Amastris stepdaughter. Extremely trustworthy faces those two.


And the leader of the Persian refugees Kyrus Tomyrid, a dispossessed noble of Margiana and one of the only hereditary caste-spies to escape Alexanders purges, bringing with him his personal retinue of one thousand Margian horse archers.

Which brings us to the military. A combination of native iron resources and the self-indulgent buying of Sicilys panoply stockpiles years ago have given you a native army of heavy infantry 4000 strong, with Kyrus' retinue bringing the total to 5000. Due to troop composition this army punches waaay above it's weight, but is still bound to get crushed by the Thracian legions sheer numbers. Currently Amastris commands this force in person due to a lack of trustworthy nobles. Kyrus has petitioned to have himself placed in total command of the armed forces, and to have his family be elevated to one of the three prominent families of the Kingdom. The Dionysoss and Achaimenids already occupy two of the slots (which will increase as we grow), and if Kyrus is not elevated we will likely choose a suitable alternative at random from among the Persian refugees. Amastris is uncertain which course to take, and puts it to the vote of the innumerable 'noble' rabble currently squatting in her palace.

1. Do we pass command of the military to Kyrus(A) or maintain a personal presence in the field(B)?
2. Do we elevate Kyrus(A), or a less ambitious patsy(B)?

Along with this vote Amastris asks for volunteers to personally travel to surround kingdoms to request aid from the local notables. Any takers?

Zedhe Khoja fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Apr 28, 2020

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

I would not trust any mere mercenary with the protection of our lady and Her cities, but it is clear enough that Kyrus is no cheap thug- a lord of the Empire passed (and to come again, should we trust in our Queen). One thousand trained men he has brought to us, and what lord here could do him better? It is a simple reality that he is one of our kingdom's most influential through his command alone! Elevate him! But there is such as a thing as doing too much too soon, yes? I would trust our divine Queen to command our armies until this crisis is past or a separate candidate can be found.

1. B
2. A


And who has barged into the royal court to say all this?

Name: Zoilus Zoilid

Background: Cynic philosopher in the vein of the real Zoilus, driven from Ionia recently for annoying everyone with his hot takes about Homer. The idea of Alexander sleeping with a copy of the Iliad under his pillow has so incensed him that the Persian court seems like the only option.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

Seems a good idea to keep the whole divine family thing a presence on the battlefield, so
1. B

BUT It's also best that we make sure to bring the guy that controls 1/5 of the military anyway on-side so
2. A


And yeah I'll head out and about.

Name: Satura Boas
Background: Noblewoman from Paphlagonia, first learned Greek from a shipwrecked young man when she was a kid. Turned out pretty useful when the Greeks conquered the work.

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!
1. B
Gods should fight on the battlefield to show oftheir godly strength.

2. A
Never trust a patsy, as they will always be a patsy no matter their title. Eventually, they may find someone else to patsy for.

Name: Jason Mantzoukas

Background: Comedic Playwrite named after the great hero. Came over to Paphlagonia to see if their plays would be popular there, as the people of Athens "just didn't get it".

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013

Voting B & A for our situation. Dunno if the plan is to groom Kyrus into a husband, or pawn his people with gains.

Character coming soon...

idhrendur
Aug 20, 2016

B&A seems the good choice

Name: Stephanas Thargelion
Background: Formerly a merchant all over the Black Sea, now setting down roots and sending others to do the day to day trading.

Willing to travel and request aid.

NewMars
Mar 10, 2013
Not sure what to vote, but character?

Name: Arash Taadaki.

Background: A magos from central Iran, banished from Seleukid lands after an unfortunate incident involving the Adur Farnbag, a sacred ox and a set of ceremonial windchimes imported from Chīnī. Very vocal about spreading the good word and how that incident was most certainly not their fault.

RabidWeasel
Aug 4, 2007

Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!
B, A

I really like the tone of the LP and this is one of my favourite starts in Imperator for a ton of reasons, I'll be eagerly following (but I'll probably stay out of any legislative clusterfucks, I did Crete and that was enough for an entire lifetime)

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna
. . . though he consorts with man, woman and child, though he lays with beasts and makes a mockery of his seed, never shall he be as licentious as the philosopher, who lays with all things imaginable.

Looks like it's unanimous. Kyras Tomyrid is named a Great Lord of the realm, and also is kept as far away from the army as possible, replacing Oxyathres as the Artabid (Royal Steward ie Tax Collector) and various minor offices will also be distributed to members of his family. Amastris, in her divine wisdom, names four ambassadors to go out into the world and find whatever aid can be bought or bribed. Within a few weeks all leave on their missions and return.

quote:


Stephanas Thargelion (idhrendur) was named Master of the Euxine Consulate and went seeking aid from the Bosphoran Kingdom and Scythia. In Padikápeon Stephanas managed to secure a military alliance in exchange of a royal hostage (ie Klearchus) and the promise of future aid in his ambition of conquering Taurica. In Scythia, after being beaten mercilessly for the crime of being Greek, Stephanas secured an offer by the Scythian king to invade Lysimachos realm from the north, in exchange for a royal hostage (ie Oxyathres) and an acknowledgment that Scythia belongs to Scythians, and no aid shall ever be given to the Greek cities currently established there, and no future Greek colonies will ever be founded there. The boundaries of this treaty being marked below:

The so-called Agarian line.
Amastris will not be required to aid the Scythians in their conquest of these lands, as it is neither required or desired.


quote:


Zoilus Zoilid (Lord Cyrahzax), the beloved Homeric critic, was named Chief Liaison to the Hellenes and was sent to the independent hellenic power of Sparta and the Molossian kingdom of Epirus. Zoilus found the Spartans to be engaged in a brutal war of enslavement against the recently liberated Messenes, and the newly resurgent Spartans preparing to conquer all of the Peloponnese. Intuiting the wishes of his Queen he decline to meet or propose an alliance with Sparta's young, powerful, unmarried, and incredibly masculine king Areus. Instead he headed to Epirus where he found the kingdom and army to be under the sway of the distant Illyrian Glaukias, as it's king was merely 14. Despite this, Zoilus managed to secure the aid of the daring boy-king Pyrrhos and his "personal retinue" (ie the King and his friends) with a number of promises and innuendos including: Financial compensation, a royal marriage, the opportunity to share Basilissa Amastris' bed-chamber "if shes into it", an assurance that we are "on Antigonos side", and a future military alliance when he comes into his kingdom. This, friends, is how you do diplomacy!

quote:


Satura Boas (Rody One Half), of Paphlagonia, was named Ambassador of the Rising Sun and braved the mountain passes of Asia and all the vicious bandit tribes within to secure the aid of the rogue satraps: Orontes of Armenia, and Atropates of Media. Desiring to legitimize their rule through Amastris bloodline, they sent both a large sum of money to be deposited into the treasury and are now trading Steppe Horses to Amastria. allowing us to recruit Horse Archers. We'll have to recruit them with our own money and manpower, but it's an incredibly large boon regardless. In exchange Armenia lays claim to the regions of Capadoccia, Cilicia, and Sophene and demands our recognition of these claims now and forever, and the two powers also demand that Amastris marry Orontes (They were the same age at court, he was a fat stupid child), and her daughter marry one of Atropates sons. They consider this contract already agreed to by virtue of them having offered it, and any deviation from it an act of defiance and probably war. To be fair to Satura, these terms were dictated and not negotiated. The relevant forfeit territories are outlined below:


quote:


Jason Mantzoukas (Ralepozozaxe), famous Comedian, is named theroi monophthalmus Envoy to the Cyclops! Most important of ambassadorial offices! Making his way along the pleasant and easy route to Ikonion the observant playwright noticed that "there sure were a lot of Gallic types there". The Cyclops has swelled his already prodigous army with a barbarous horde of painted Gauls from europe! Likely the same ones that have been raiding greek lands ever since Alexander set off for Asia. Surely this can only mean a new understanding and cooperation between Greek and Gaul! Jason complained that when he met with the Diadochi, the aging giant had not only called him a "catamite poet" but kept forgetting details of not only Amastris, but his own history and life! Also he kept drooling and wandering off while Jason attempted to recite comedic poetry to him. And he kept telling Jason to "Listen, Jax" and that various dead enemies were "Bad dudes".

Nevertheless, the noble Mantzoukas assures the Basilissa that he has secured, and signed, a military alliance with Antigonos, and that the vital mountain pass of Bithynion has been transferred into her possession.
and so it has
Jason is vague on the details of what had to be offered in exchange for such a prize, and it's eventually pried out of Jason that he doesn't actually know what he agreed to as he was too focused on explaining the fine art of Comedy to Antigonos, and that the treaty was written by a court functionary without the input of Antigonos himself.
Amastris has the copy of the treaty brought before her and blanches when she reads it. The terms are as follows:
Antigonos is the rightful ruler of all Greece, Asia, Persia, Babylon, Bactria, Egypt, Syria, and Indos. Amastria is now a feudatory of Antigonos, and will aid him in all his wars. To secure his lines legitimacy, the Achaimenids will unite their house with his, and Amastris will marry Antigonos fifteen year old grandson, Antigonos "Gonadus", as her daughter is over a decade from marrying age. When Amastris "Peitho" is old enough, she will also marry into Antigonos family. Amastris will forswear the titles of Banbisn and Basilissa, and will be called "Satrapia" (a word that has never been used by anyone anywhere the Persians in the court agree) within her own kingdom. Uh...satrapy.

Naturally all of these treaties will be put to a vote. A is yes, B is no.

quote:

1. The Pyrrhic Victory Initiative - Motion to release treasury funds to pay the Molossion King, Pyrrhos, for his military services and comply with calls for military aid when he is, in fact, actually King of his Kingdom. And additionally commit to a future matrimonial union (party to be decided) when Pyrrhos comes of age.

2. The Pontic Alliance Enterprise - Motion to send the Royal Heir Clearchus to Padikápeon and invade Taurica on behalf of Spartakos Spartakid in exchange for immediate Naval and Military assistance.

3. The Saka Nonaggression Pact - Motion to forswear all military and colonial activity north of the Agarian line for perpetuity and send the Prince Oxyathres as hostage in exchange for a nomadic invasion of Thrace.

4. The Independent Satraps Recognition Act - Motion to recognize Armenia's rightful and honorable claim to the kingdoms of Sophene, Cillicia, and Capadoccia in perpetuity, and commit to future matrimonial unions with Kings Orontes III and Atropates.

5. The Cyclopean Submission Contract - Motion to recognize Antigonos Monophthalmus as rightful ruler of the known world and to wed "Satrapia" Amastris to his grandson, Antigonus Gonadus when he comes of age. In exchange the "Megas Basileus Antigonos" promises to utterly annihilate the false king Lysimachos and present both his and Arsinoe Lagids skulls before the gates of Herakleia.

6. The Ambassadorial Reward Proposal - Motion to name Jason Mantzoukas and Zoilus Zoilid as "Ministers of Public Entertainment", build a gladiatorial arena, and inaugurate the games with an exhibitionary fight featuring the two distinguished diplomats, provided a suitably ferocious opponent can be found to challenge these martial titans.

Please keep in mind that treaties are meant to be broken, there's nothing stopping us from making mutually exclusive promises of military aid and marriage and none of these (except 1, and that's just money which we're rolling in) come with immediate requirements. But going back on our word will make dire enemies out of the aggrieved parties. The consequences of accepting aid from Antigonos and then refusing to submit would likely be a war of conquest launched against us. Assuming he actually knows and remembers that this deal was actually made. It should also be noted for the purposes of item 3 that all pontic-greek states such as ours have missions and events that let us gain colonies and claims all over that area.

Zedhe Khoja fucked around with this message at 12:03 on May 7, 2020

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012



I feel the court herald is being unnecessarily harsh. Epirus is a rising power in the world, one without the baggage of Spartan tyranny and misrule. Young Pyrrhus already shows great potential, and believe an audience (and I say that quite sincerely) with our Queen will help put him on the right path, as our friend and ally long into the future.

1. A
2. A
3. A
4. A
5. B
6. B

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!

Look at the great success of my musings. I should write an epic to commemerate my Great duel of wits with the Cyclops, ending with our becoming friends. I hope to see that son of giants once more.

1. A.
2. A.
3. A.
4. A.
5. A
6. A

idhrendur
Aug 20, 2016



1. A
2. A
3. A
4. A
5. A
6. A

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011



1. A
2. B
3. A
4. A
5. A
6. B


Generally speaking, I would say we take whatever we can get right now and concern ourselves with contradictions and consequences later. Antigonus, the Satraps, and for that matter Seleucus are going to be more concerned with one another than us, and we can always prioritize our agreements as things advance on the eastern front. As for who we end up offending, What will they do, threaten to invade, annex, and execute us? Lysimachus is already doing that, and we need to do whatever we can to put that off before concerning ourselves with anything else. If those efforts backfire, we're no worse off than we would have been anyway.

Now as for the north, here I come down firmly on one side only because I don't think getting into any long-term entanglements on the far side of the sea is in our interest. The Scythians don't want us to colonize? Fine, we shouldn't be doing that anyway, might as well get a flanking invasion to help us.

As for the arena, much as watching my esteemed coworkers kill each other or be beaten to death by strapping gladiators sounds like fun, it does seem like somewhat of a waste of time and resources.

idhrendur
Aug 20, 2016

Didn't read closely enough. Changing my vote for 6 from A to B

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010

quote:

Amastris takes the worship of Men very seriously. Unfortunately no one else in the kingdom does, and his omens do literally nothing. He'll probably be the first god replaced.

No if I can do something about it!

Name: Bubastis Heraclid
Background: Priestess of Men. Egyptian born, daughter of a Spartiate and a priestess of Bastet. Fascinated with the cult of Men, she traveled far and wide until she found Amastria and was initiated into the mysteries of Men

Hope is not too late for me to join

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna
You can join at any time, but generally I won't make an ingame courtier unless either requested to or I use your character for a GM mission.
I plan on beggining writing the next update here in about 7-8 hours or so, so make sure you vote!

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010
I understand and here are my votes

1. A
2. A
3. A
4. A
5. B
6. B

GunnerJ
Aug 1, 2005

Do you think this is funny?
1. B
2. B
3. B
4. B
5. B
6. A

Lynneth
Sep 13, 2011
A
A
A
A
B
B

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna
Sorry to those two late votes, I'd already progressed the game before your posts.

The Fourth War of the Diadochi, as it is known outside of Amastria (where it is called the War of Spite), began as a lovers quarrel. But through a series of escalations and cascading events would within a year come to encompass most of the known world, from Scythia in the north to Egypt in the South, and from the Illyrian shore to distant Pataliputra, a city more mythical than real to most of the participants. No conflict between men had ever encompassed such a vast area.


Lysimachos, spurred on by his jealous young queen, began the conflict by attempting to annex the fledgling realm of Amastris. Choosing to join the Thracian warlord rather than be annexed themselves, Chalcedon, Byzantion, and Bithynia not only guarantee safe passage to Lysimachos but commit their own small forces to the fight hoping to peel off territory for themselves. Shortly after, Antigonos, with the promise of future Amastrian submission, declares against Lysimachos. No sooner is this done than Antipater in Macedon declares against Amastris and Phrygia. Like dominos falling Scythia and Bosphorus are the next to declare against Thrace and Macedon, fearing further northward expansion by the Macedonians.


Back in Amastris, the young Pyrrhos of Epirus makes landing with his lightly armored companions. In the time it has taken him to reach Amastris several native cohorts of cavalry archers have been added to the ranks, and Amastris' large adult sons have been sent away as hostages across the Euxine. Few will miss them.

Completely unsustainable though. We were breaking even with just those four heavy infantry.


The combined numbers of the assembled host are still smaller than the army of Lysimachos alone, never mind Amastria's treacherous neighbors. But Amastria's armies were well armed and armored, and horse archers feared only heavily armored cataphracts in battle. And Amastris, contrary to the fears of many of her advisors, turned out to be more than capable in commanding her forces. Writing centuries later the historian Diodorus Siculus had this to say:

Diodorus Siculus posted:

As everything, therefore, because of the Queen's finesse was readied sooner than was expected, Amastris was regarded with alarm by the Thracians; for not only did the size of the her army and the number her horses which had been gathered stun them, but also the Queens's energy and ingenuity in conducting ambushes. 2 For, being exceedingly ready in speed and devising many strategies beyond the art of most generals, she was called Keraunós(lit; thunderbolt);9 and she displayed such superiority and force in her attacks that it seemed that no army was strong enough to furnish safety from her for the besieged. 3 Both in stature and in beauty she displayed the dignity of a hero, so that even those strangers who had come from a distance, when they beheld her comeliness arrayed in royal splendour, marvelled at her and followed her as she went abroad in order to gaze at her. 4 Furthermore, she was haughty in spirit and proud and looked down not only upon common men but also upon those of royal estate; and what was most peculiar to her, in time of peace she devoted her time to winebibbing and to drinking bouts accompanied by dancing and revels, and in general she emulated the conduct said by mythology to have been that of Aphrodite among men; but in her wars she was active and sober, so that beyond all others who practised this profession she devoted both body and mind to the task.
Backhanded slanderous comments about her drinking and partying habits aside, it's an unbiased appraisal.

Apprehending that it would unwise to allow her enemies to consolidate their forces, Amastris raids the Bithynian countryside to provoke a response. To her horror she finds that Lysimachos has crossed the strait without waiting to recruit more forces and is already bearing down on her with his lackeys not far behind. But by the grace of the Gods, her enemies get greedy. Had Lysimachos arrived with his cavalry and heavy infantry first, the enemy likely would have crushed the Amastrians. But the Chalkedonians, confident and eager for the slaughter they assumed was to come, ran in far ahead of their lecherous master.

Sending Pyrrhos ahead at the head of her infantry, she allowed the Chalkdonians to continue believing that infantry was all the army she had while she circled her cavalry around behind them.

No survivors to warn the Thracians.
It still might have been a struggle against Lysimachos larger and more experienced army. Probably a loss if we're being honest.

But a small contingent of heavy infantry and cavalry from Phrygia swung the battle into Amastria's favor, sending Lysimachos back to Europe with his tail between his legs and a quarter of his army dead. The Byzantines and Bithynians, desperate to reinforce the Thracians, poured into the province mere hours after the main army was routed.

crunch

The Bithynians might have survived for now, but Amastris immediately besieges the mud-walled village that passes for their capital. With a combination of luck, and timely investment in key military technologies, the Bithynian capital falls before any new army arrives in Asia.

With the entirety of his land and family in Amastris possession, the Zipoetid 'king' submits himself to her mercies. He and his entire family are clapped in chains and sent back to the capital to be dealt with later. The entirety of Bithynia is annexed, and Amastris moves on to the next fool who thought they would be looting her realm: the Archon of Chalkedon

But as the siege camp around Chalkedon is being set up, word comes to Amastris of a disastrous development in the war.

And suddenly a conflict that seemed all but decided, has swung wildly again in her enemies favor.

So we have three things to decide.

quote:

1: What do we do with the families of these minor countries we're about to annex here. You can specifiy if you want each country to be treated differently.
A. Assimilate them. Show that we aren't barbarians, and that we are capable of mercy.
B. Kill them in new and interesting ways!
C. Sell them into slavery and put the profits towards improving infrastructure!

2: Do we want to take European territory in the form of Byzantion. This will compromise us defensively, and puts as at risk for barbarian invasions from the Balkans.
A. gently caress Yes! Conquer everything, no matter the strategic considerations.
B. gently caress No! Let the Europeans murder each other forever. Ahura Mazda put a strait there for a reason.
C. Vassalize the Byzantines as a buffer state.

3. How far do we take this war, without our intervention Antigonos is likely doomed. Probably doomed WITH us.
A. All the way baby. Send the army all the way to Indos if thats what it takes to save the Cyclops!
B. Check out as soon as a white peace is possible. We've made our point to the Queens lovely ex, and we don't owe the Cyclops anything.
C. Leave the Cyclops to his fate but the invaders must die. Lysimachos and Arsinoe must pay for all this.

Ralepozozaxe
Sep 6, 2010

A Veritable Smorgasbord!

Jason is crying, the tears are obviously fake.

No my friend and our greatest ally, the Cyclops, is in trouble! We must help him, as he loves my art as much as he loves our land!

1. C. These people are not our friends, and they didn't like my speech to them as they entered our city in chains. Just sell them off so we can get some sort of value from these tasteless fools.

2: B. I heard there are man eating horses on the other side of the strait, and I want nothing to do with them.

3. A. When I looked inot the eye of the Cyclops, I knew we had a bond, one that would follow us for the rest of our lives. We musn't abadnon our savior, we must save the Cyclops! What's his name? It's the Cyclops of course. What other name could he have?

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013

Voting CAB for these three initiatives.

Also introducing some random operating in the background:

Name: Malqart Malqartid

Background: Zurvanite Mithraic cultist and Persian refugee. Here to keep his private worship the great god that allows the Twin Spirits of Zoroaster to be, and mate find some greater understanding in these changing times.

AnAnonymousIdiot fucked around with this message at 00:48 on May 4, 2020

Zedhe Khoja
Nov 10, 2017

sürgünden selamlar
yıkıcılar ulusuna

AnAnonymousIdiot posted:

Voting CAB for these three initiatives.

Also introducing some random operating in the background:

Name: Malqart Malqartid

Background: Zurvanite cultist and Persian refugee. Here to keep his private worship the great god that allows the Twin Spirits of Zoroaster to be, and mate find some greater understanding in these changing times.

Zurvanism is a long way off, but the Medes religion was kinda similar. Monotheistic, reverence of fire, etc.

GunnerJ
Aug 1, 2005

Do you think this is funny?

A
C
C

Pacho
Jun 9, 2010
ABA

Even our enemies shall bask in the splendor of our Queen
Let them bleed on Europe
The cyclops is our shield and we must keep that shield in the best condition

idhrendur
Aug 20, 2016

1. C - they sided with our enemies and must suffer the consequences. Plus, we need the money.
2. C - I desire to punish them more, but a buffer state seems strategically best.
3. C or A - Focus on our immediate enemies and destroy them. Then we can evaluate. I'd suggest peace, but maybe it'll make sense to continue.

idhrendur fucked around with this message at 01:12 on May 5, 2020

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

ACC

We have no particular reason to purge the minors of lifes, or to fight Ptolemy and Seleucus at the same time, but a nice mini buffer is good to have and we're not going to get a better shot at breaking Lys than right now. Run that fucker down while he's still routing.

Lynneth
Sep 13, 2011
C
B
B
for me.
We need that money, I don't give a drat about anything beyond the strait, and the cyclops can crash and burn for all I care.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012

C
C
B

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply