Shei-kun posted:

After the horrors of the previous war beset upon them, the people of Khan Industries turned to old entertainment from Earth Prime to get them through. Eventually, however, one entity, one idol, rose above the rest. And so, working as best they could, they brought their god to life.


_{this is a video link you should click on it}

Thus began the reign of Hatsune Miku, whose followers immediately began a crusade to share her songs (and merchandise) with the rest of the world. Concert attendance is mandatory.

Veryslightlymad posted:

Is interest to play really that low?

Shei-kun posted:

bunnyofdoom posted:

Veryslightlymad posted:

Is interest to play really that low?

Akratic Method posted:

Deep in the woods on a remote mountain...
Sapient bears grumble amongst themselves. What remains of their leadership that was not bound by robot-wizards to construct the blood-sacrifice fortress has gathered to discuss their next move.

The mage-bots only grow more intrusive with time... Even in these wild expanses they are oft-sighted searching for flesh to enslave. Soon we shall be forced to confront them once more.

Our armies were unsuccessful before, and our spies inform us that now another faction has conjured an eldritch anime god of some kind. With even more wizards in the world, what makes you think we could fare any better this time? Perhaps it is better to remain here, and enjoy the plentiful food of the mountain.

At the edge of the clearing, an unfamiliar figure appears, flanked by several others, bearing the unmistakable silhouettes of guns.

You should be careful with such... herbivorous talk.

As bears murmur at the insult, the figure steps forward into the light to gasps

Yes, I'm afraid I know from experience that it is a losing strategy to sequester oneself away to focus on one preferred food. But like you, we found our minds expanded by the old experiments, and through them we have returned to the hunt, tasted meat once more, and rediscovered what it is to be a bear.

Ok, wait, but like are you bears, though? I thought I read somewhere that you're really big members of the raccoon fam--

SIEZE HIM!

Several pandas forcibly drag away the dissenter at gunpoint. The rest of the council exchanges nervous glances.

We are bears indeed, fellow warriors. And we have come for our due. No longer will the grizzlies be known as the most ferocious of bears! No longer will we suffer under degrading names like Yuán Yuán, be the butt of jokes about eating bamboo. We cast off our herbivore names, and adopt a new identity as the rightful leaders of all Ursidae-kind! My new name is Shāshā, and you will address me as Generalissimo. Unless... there are objections?

As the newly minted Generalissimo spoke, more gun-toting pandas have filtered in around the edges, silently brandishing their guns. No objections are voiced...

Shei-kun posted:

After the horrors of the previous war beset upon them, the people of Khan Industries turned to old entertainment from Earth Prime to get them through. Eventually, however, one entity, one idol, rose above the rest. And so, working as best they could, they brought their god to life.


_{this is a video link you should click on it}

Thus began the reign of Hatsune Miku, whose followers immediately began a crusade to share her songs (and merchandise) with the rest of the world. Concert attendance is mandatory.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Log of the head of the Saharan Republic

Well, this was a fine mess we found ourselves in. Of course I was built for it. Literally. Pumped out of some die mech factory line. See, after they conquered the Saharan republic, they had to control them. Couldn't sacrifice em all at once no. If they learned one thing, resources are kinda finite, especially human resources. Guess those Khan's would know that better.

Anyways, they didn't want an insurrection kicking off like a bar room brawl, so they built me, and some others, as a police bot. Gave me fake skin, and decided the best way to make sure I operated like one was to download my brain full of examples. The brain trust running them....actually is brain trust the right word when it's all just silicon chips running off some warped magic thing? Not important back to the story.

So the AI geniuses decided to put in the only real detective stories they could find by a couple of knuckleheads named Hammett and Chandler. Guess they had nothing better, but hey, why conquer the world and do freaking blood magic when instead you could be preserving books right? Both those sound appealing as getting a back massage by the bears.

Now, see, the thing is, they coulda given me different. Most police bots had programming that gave them a stick up their rear end so big, you'd think they were programmed to be Balkanians. But me, they wanted to solve crimes, and work things out. So they gave me a functioning brain.


Like I said, they ain't really a brain trust.

So, me, designed to figure out crimes and keep their human stock in line fell in love with the drat people. They'd come to me for off the books problems too. It became mutual. So, finally one day, after a lot of planning, and a lot of work, and a hell of a lot of luck, we busted out. I managed to shut down most of the defensive cordon, bust out a lot of old war material, even resuced a couple of idiot DJs who made me chuckle, and we made it out.

The damndest thing happened after that after we settled and built a tiny fortress. They voted me leader. Well, ain't that something. Now I gotta lead these guys when the mechs come knocking at our door to get us back, and the others probably will want a piece. Guess that means war, and you know the funny thing about war?





War Never Changes.

Namtab posted:

Something had gone wrong.

The emperor Namtab, first of his name, had cowered as the earth had begun to unravel; afflicted by a lack of narrative energy it had begun to unmake itself, and everything within. It was too late to go up to the original world, the technology was no longer there and besides, the time he had spent being kept artificially alive meant that he was afraid there would be no Balkania if he went back. No, back was not an option - therefore the only choice was to go across.

He had no idea how long he spent between: days, weeks, months, centuries. It did not matter, time was immaterial as long as the original Emperor survived, to one day find a new world and show them the Balkanian identity. Drawn by the prayers of the empress-general Blix, he observed as her masterful planning secured Europe, the seat of Balkanian power on all the Earths he witnesses. This was it, this was his time, her prayers, her devotion had opened the way.

But it all went wrong.

The victory of Die Mekaniker resulted in the culmination of their blood magic. Instead of appearing proudly in the Balkanian throneroom he instead appeared on the blood altar in what would soon be known worldwide as sacrificia. The robots stared at each other as the Emperor Namtab, the rightful head of Imperial Balkania, appeared before them, his five heads quivering as they surveyed his surroundings.

"Hm" he muttered "this is not quite as expected".

He observed the robots in front of him, their comical robes and wizard hats fluttering in the maelstrom his arrival from the area between had created. He then considered, what better way of ensuring the Balkanian ideal than robots. They would not question, they would not empathise. Their dedication to honor, devotion, tea, tradition and the eradication of the impure would be absolute.

"Congratulations", he shouted to the Robotic supplicants before him "Your summoning has succeeded. I, the Emperor, will lead you to even greater heights than those you saw before"

"But first", he noted "It's time for some changes"

Years passed, the great blood foundaries of Sacrificia stopped. Communications in and out of Die Mekaniker territory ceased. The robots planned. The robots evolved. Until one day when a transmission was sent around the world.

"Behold, I am the Emperor returned, ready to take this world in my name and to show you the true way. Impress upon yourselves the name of your salvation. Know of Robo-Balkania and rejoice."

The camera then zooms out to reveal sleek robots. Smooth and humanoid, each saluting as the emperor talked. At the end of his speech they robotically chant "WE REJOICE"

grandalt posted:

After the fall of the Balkanian headquarters and loss of contract with the upper staff of the empire, Sir Grandalt Nodington spent years organizing a resistance against the forces of the mechanical bloodthirsty wizards. Despite of the losses and the pain of their struggle, the morale of the knight’s troop never failed, kept up with a healthy supply of tea, especially since Grandalt had managed to figure out a way to fuel the tanks off of tea instead of the tightly controlled gasoline.

After a cunning attack on one of Die Mechaniker’s blood supply trains, Sir Nodington was able to break Die Mechaniker’s official control of the region and began gaining enough forces to be a true army. Standing as the last known commanding officer and member of Imperial Balkania nobility not imprisoned, Nodginton became the recognized head of Imperial Balkania’s forces. Granted the title of Baron unofficially for the duration of the oncoming conflict or barring official promtions, Baron Grandalt Nodington plans to not only free Balkania from the iron grip of terror hanging over it, but to present the reins of the world to whoever is the rightful head of Imperial Balkania.

Those machines will no longer keep us from our tea time, and to any other who thinks to threat such a precious thing will learn the meaning of regret.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Well, that explains those uniforms acting like that back in Congo. They were prototypes. It also explains why they never came to claim us back. Guess I was right about the magic making em all screwy. But this screwy is something new.

DLord posted:

Hidden Bunker once again, this time with the label of Blood Manor poorly pasted on the outside

Query: Really don't understand the going to follow a summon. Statement much lost of control with the refocusing of mech units and factories.

True enough but when they get weaker we have more chances to improve our lot. While things may be a little strange, I'll say the quarter has never been this high in earnings. I'm likely to get to an area manager easy.

Easy enough for you, I'm going to have lay low for a bit with that bot detective. At least my dog can keep it off me for bit for these meetings.

I can come here easily enough thanks to the codes, old chaps. Still the Baron is the major figure of the rebuilding instead of me. I don't see why my good shows aren't enough to get a higher rank.

Well with the new leadership of Shāshā, I can surely go forward in my side. Also what about H.aving A.lways L.eadership F.orever ?

H.A.L.F. is the best you could come up with? Really, Nay on that name.

Shei-kun posted:

The grand goddess made her world debut in the style expected of her worshippers.



Those who were not there to witness it might think the album cover is more than a simple photograph. They would be wrong.

NGDBSS posted:

The last several years had been peculiar for Pernille Blix. For one, she was no longer Empress-General. The blood magocracy of Die Mechaniker had seen to that in their victory. To their credit, the officer corps was not about to go down without a fight. But the numbers simply didn't match up; too many robots, and too few weapons in the hands of loyal Balkanians.

"Balkanian Emperor" Namtab was an unexpected variable. None of them remembered a horror kept alive by impossibly advanced technology, not even the Old God, but the ensuing bureaucratic chaos was just what Balkanian partisans needed to kickstart their gun-smuggling operations. Months later, they were ready for a breakout. Most of the officer corps survived - most. The former Empress-General, however, went down in a hail of gunfire. A heroic sacrifice to buy precious minutes for others - Balkania could live on as a nation without her, after all.

Blix wasn't lying per se, just...not telling the whole truth. Like the extent of what serving the Old God really meant. Oh, she really was invested in the success of Imperial Balkania; just because she served an eldritch horror didn't mean she couldn't have basic empathy. But following either that goal or the aims of the Old God meant taking a different road. An eternity passed, and her torment receded. No longer was she numbered among the dead, for her master's wheel ever spun. The former dictator awoke to find herself washed up on the unfamiliar shores of some city called Medvedgrad. New from the looks of the paint and concrete.

"Pernille Blix, ever my faithful servant, you are worthy."

She was alive and whole, at least. In enemy territory. It was time to be running and scheming.

The bears were perplexed until Blix compared them to overgrown raccoons; then they became frenzied. Some insane cult would stop at nothing for her blood, something about summoning a demon of song. (The kind with good looks, not the kind that resembled a giant frog.) And one aged Saharan DJ actually recognized her and traded for supplies during a makeshift blues concert. They said something about having more important things to worry about than a washed-up autocrat; Blix suspected that "more important things" meant "not wasting resources on an illusive nobody" but was not about to press the issue. At least she now had alcohol.

Namtab posted:

In central Berlin, a steel tower rises. The true Balkanians were home at last...

Veryslightlymad posted:

Serious question, did you all collectively decide to go out of your way to avoid a turn two/maybe even three victory?

Namtab posted:

We all agreed to only take one territory per turn

Shei-kun posted:

From her fortress of music, the One True Princess prepared to issue her first orders to her troops.

"First, Australia, and then, the world!"

As one, her (literal) army of fans cheered and grabbed their glowstick missiles and tanks fitted with t-shirt cannons and fully automatic leek guns. Come the morning, they would ride forth. They had been "running simulations" with Girls und Panzer and Valkyria Chronicles for just this very moment. Surely, nothing was lacking from their training. Nothing.

Namtab posted:

We all agreed to only take one territory per turn

Slaan posted:

What is a panda? Not a bear

Namtab posted:

Noble panda friend. I highly encourage you to seek the land of your ancestors. America probably doesn't even have enough bamboo to satisfy your glorious appetite.

NGDBSS posted:

Guerrilla journalism in Semarang and other Indonesian cities suggested that there was not one, but rather two, Hatsune Miku's. Which begs the question...which is 01?

DLord posted:

Soo, are we waiting for someone to sent in their orders?