Namtab posted:

Unless something very specific happened

Akratic Method posted:

Same; I had exactly one if-then in my orders where the “then” was a mad charge at an HQ.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Huh. My orders were pretty loving straightforward.



I am so hosed

Akratic Method posted:

I suspect that most of them are like mine and involved particular borders being crossed. Hell, even if mine triggered it just means that already on turn 2 I have discarded "trying to win" and entered the Spite Zone.

Shei-kun posted:

Oh, I'm quite likely jumping headlong into the Spite Zone given everyone's starting positions.

The real question is, how deep into the Spite Zone am I going to go?

grandalt posted:

I had more of a preventive measure in place, which given what one of my neighbors is saying, seems to be needed.

Shei-kun posted:

Oh, I'm quite likely jumping headlong into the Spite Zone given everyone's starting positions.

The real question is, how deep into the Spite Zone am I going to go?

bunnyofdoom posted:

I figured the safest place for us to set up camp would be right under their drat noses. I knew from experience the robots didn't usually think of double bluffs, and taking over an old facility of theirs and repurposing some of their old equipment.


Course I knew that maybe we should give em a little puzzle, so I has some small groups make tracks towards Europe and Australia and send em on a wild goose chase.


I think it worked a hell of a lot better than planned. They pulled up stakes and moved all their crazy bots to Europe and took it over.

I'm thinking they may left a fair bit of loot around so maybe it's time to move out and see what we can find.

Double May Care posted:

... And we're back! Thought you could get rid of us, eh? ... This is where Monitor Tom would play a buzzer. Couldn't find Tom. Might still be lost out there, trying to get sandstone to transmit radio signals. They all said the pyramids were built to commune with aliens, but good luck sending a telegram with those relics. Why do we still have pyramids there anyway? Thought this Earth was supposed to be fresh!
Anyway, anyway, we're here in scenic Undisclosed, plotting and planning for a brand new war--that's right, a war so nice we're doing it twice! But the General's AWOL as well after the robots came and torched the old studio. They were all *BEEP BOOP. MAGIC MISSILE. MAGIC MISSILE. ERROR. OUT OF MANA.* Hhhaaah! Ha-hahaha! Tom always was better with voices. But the beat goes on, the beat of the boots on the roads paved with our fallen. And our new commander perks his ears to the sound of the golden oldies of Earth Prime, so I'm told. But what do I care? I don't want to set the world on fire.
... (DING) There it is! We're going practical this time around; got a whole rig here from whatever I could find. Might spike the levels a bit more, but all your ears are probably ringing anyway so who gives a gently caress? Oh, oops. I said who gives a f(beeeeep)? There we go, I'll work on it. Have a good war everybody! New world, new order! Is that still our slogan? How the hell sh(beep)d I know?

Shei-kun posted:

From her fortress of music, the One True Princess prepared to issue her first orders to her troops.

"First, Australia, and then, the world!"

As one, her (literal) army of fans cheered and grabbed their glowstick missiles and tanks fitted with t-shirt cannons and fully automatic leek guns. Come the morning, they would ride forth. They had been "running simulations" with Girls und Panzer and Valkyria Chronicles for just this very moment. Surely, nothing was lacking from their training. Nothing.

grandalt posted:

Journal of Baron Grandalt Nodington

Forced out of Europe by the machines, some of the ranks felt a bit of despair by that. Not everyone did, rage filled others. For myself, I don't feel either, a war takes a focused mind to obtain victory. For example, listening to advisors, such as Ser Waldof Dorain who suggested using the Congo as our staging ground. Sure, part of his suggestion was clearly to help fuel his hunting habit, but it is a good location especially with the remains of the Saharan's radio station here. Lot of ability to keep up our commutations. I have tea with him soon, so I will finish this entry here.


The Baron puts down his pen and steps out into his solar, his guest waiting for him.

Sorry for the wait, Ser Dorain.

Not a problem, old chap. I'm happy that our commander took the time to see me, what with all the preparation for the war and all.

With all the work you have done with restoring our tea supply, I'm pleased to have this chance to enjoy it.

Namtab posted:

A great man once said "anime was a mistake". Miku's armies will one day learn why...

Akratic Method posted:

: Of course, as an adorable panda who poses no threat to anyone, I plan to remain quietly in Alaska delighting children and adults alike with my rotund antics! Accordingly you do not need to waste defensive forces on the North American front. It is simply my humble pleasure to assist you in the most efficient dispatch of your armies.

kicks a book marked Cliffs Notes: Sun Tzu's Art of War under a nearby chair.

Namtab posted:

Noble panda friend. I highly encourage you to seek the land of your ancestors. America probably doesn't even have enough bamboo to satisfy your glorious appetite.

Akratic Method posted:

Oh yes. As a normal panda, who does not in any way at all hunger for flesh, we would require... (shudders) grasses...

to...

eat.

Of course.

Shei-kun posted:

We'll leave you alone if you just let us take Japan.

Besides, I like pandas and will not stand this grievous insult.

NGDBSS posted:

Guerrilla journalism in Semarang and other Indonesian cities suggested that there were not one, but rather two, Hatsune Miku's. Which begs the question...which is 01?

Shei-kun posted:

Get your own personal pocket Miku! Limited-time only offer, get one before it is too late! Picked from only the finest of bowl-grown chibis. No risk of them growing up into full-sized Mikus bent on world domination.

Veryslightlymad posted:

What the hell?

Well, I gotta say, being allowed to take Europe as IB is one thing, being allowed to take it as Die Mechaniker when Iceland is already fortified is quite another.

Rooting for the Robots for the second consecutive game. Also cheering on Sahara, because their initial placement was the only aggressive move taken so far. They're pretty hosed by the thread's concession to simultaneous orders. If they're not one of the last people to move, they're at a severe disadvantage.

Shei-kun posted:

Initial goal achieved! We have taken Japan!

Next, the entire world will hear my songs! Mecha-Miku, deploy!

From the depths of the digital world, a song made manifest materialized on the front lines.


_{Behold another video}

Ashsaber posted:

I was, uh, I was expecting another Miku-Robo vidoe instead there

Ashsaber posted:

I was, uh, I was expecting another Miku-Robo vidoe instead there

Veryslightlymad posted:

What the hell?

Well, I gotta say, being allowed to take Europe as IB is one thing, being allowed to take it as Die Mechaniker when Iceland is already fortified is quite another.

PMush Perfect posted:

Gumi's English is better than Miku's.

Ashsaber posted:

I was, uh, I was expecting another Miku-Robo vidoe instead there

Shei-kun posted:

Shei-kun posted:

Initial goal achieved! We have taken Japan!

Next, the entire world will hear my songs! Mecha-Miku, deploy!

From the depths of the digital world, a song made manifest materialized on the front lines.


_{Behold another video}

DLord posted:

Once again in the Hidden bunker

Well with the peaceful expansion the detective is much too busy to pay attention to me. So I got a few things planed but we'll see how it goes.

Statement: Luckily Namtab existence doesn't look too close at units in factory roles so unlikely deviancy noticed.

Well everything is going swimmingly for me chaps. I got myself very close to the heart of Balkanian.

Good, good. So far everything is going great. I'm pleased to say I managed to put 10,000 Khan credits into the common funds.

You do know that most factions don't take those. I still I could really do with a smackeral of honey right now.

bunnyofdoom posted:

After we had caught our breath, we decide to slowly push out, see if we could recover some more tech, and build up our forces. Went fine for the most part, til we showed up at the gates of Sacrificia. drat name gives me chills still. Our forward scouts reached it, and we lost too many good men and women to the automated defenses left behind.

Fortunately, in my misfiring computer I call a brain, I remembered a backdoor into the place. We were able to send a squad in, who shut down the defenses, and before you knew it, we jimmied open the gates, like we were a safe cracker working on his big score.

What we found in there sends chills up my spine, which is impressive cause I didn't think it was possible. I ain't gonna talk about it much, because I just don't want to. The good news is that the people there, after our medics took care of who they could, are grateful for the liberation, including many of the people who were captured last war. Lotta happy reunions, and a good party was had by all. Next step is to see what lays outside of South America, and more importantly, who.

grandalt posted:

Journal of Baron Grandalt Nodington

We have control of the continent, and from the north the smoke continues to rise smelling of oil and oddly tea. From the reports of my scouts, the machines are being led by some five-head emperor that claims to be the ruler of Imperial Balkania. I suspect the magic of the machines and the fact this is an alternative world is behind this.

While I make the plans needed to deal with this so-called emperor, I am also testing the usage of tea in powering some of the machines from the Saharan’s. I’m starting to get some ideas on how to use these machines to get improvements in our tanks.

Namtab posted:

Now youmay be wondering what powers the true balkanian war machine. Well we did a lot of experomenting and found that the best and most efficient source of power is a bio-core. We build the robot shell around the bio-core and the issue of power is a concern of the past.

As for what the bio-cores are made of, thats a closely guarded secret. Rest assured though that they are fully green, renewable resources and we process them efficiently in the factories of robotropolis. The best thing is that in the unlikely event of a balkanian robot being destroyed the biocore is released, allowing it to be collected and placed in a new robot.

Rejoice at the efforts balkania goes through to protect the planet.

MagusofStars posted:

Interesting set of moves.
-I have to imagine Sahara's plans would have been far more aggressive if they weren't first to move. Striking hard when you move first would have been incredibly risky, so holding tight for a turn seems fairly reasonable.
-Balkania's next turn is going to really rely on the turn order. Notably, I think they're probably best off if they go in the middle of the turn - after either Khan or DM made some moves and lost some troops, but not at the very end when Balkania has been worn down by attacks from others.
-Khan in particular could be an interesting linchpin - they have three red stars, a bunch of reinforcements coming, and are within striking distance of any other HQ...but they'll probably need to pick their target in the reinforcement stage and go for it come hell or high water, because the HQ's they could claim are all separated enough that it seems unlikely they'll be able to flexibly attack two at once. But given that they're kind of away from the action, they also probably can't afford to be too passive, lest the game end before they get a chance to mix it up.
-If the Bears and DM are smart, they'll make a rock solid alliance here, because they're both on the verge of getting picked apart in their home continents and can't afford to fight over Iceland/Greenland.
-Long-term, Europe looks like it's going to be a tough nut to crack with two of the four entrances already protected by bunkers.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Keep in mind, Khan only has two stars, because they got the legacy of DM.