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come do a organized violence, goons!
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May 14, 2020 00:26
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 08:45 |
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forgot to mention that i will give weed and beer to new players biosterous in game, hit me up
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May 14, 2020 19:33
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if you're not burning down 20 warehouses a day you're not trying hard enough
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May 18, 2020 03:58
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after months of careful planning i have finally risen to the top of the medical field and become a brain surgeon, so my immediate next move was, naturally, to quit and become a receptionist at a local gym.
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May 20, 2020 21:36
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 haha yeah... beginning...
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May 20, 2020 22:55
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1. ned tp'd thatguy37, who demanded reparations 2. ned lol'd, thatguy37 cried to a friend in lake of lerna (not leadership) 3. that friend went and hosp'd all the goons 4. unoplank started paying goons to bounty all of lake of lerna 5. LoL leadership cleared things up re thatguy37 (they don't like him and are pretty dang pissed at him for getting people into this) 6. LoL also demanded 80 xan in reparations, crell lol'd 7. LoL has been disorganizedly hitting goons, and also paid for a 2500 chain hit on goons 8. goons spent hours organizing things so that all members were either flying, or in the hospital with revives turned off, in order to dodge the upcoming 5000 chain hit. it worked! a few people had to get booted temporarily though 9. goons are celebrating, which, fair, but seem to have lost sight of the fact that they should be loving with thatguy37 and his faction, and that lake of lerna is a costly distraction. accursed collective short attention span!
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Jul 25, 2020 15:06
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dsipal posted:but the dude with the nazi pfp doesnt get a ban yeah :/ on the plus side, dropping a few bounties on him with "has a nazi in profile pic" at least got him to change his pic within a day
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Aug 1, 2020 06:18
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okay, here it is time for the Ballad of Jay something like three months ago, jay joined torn and started hanging out in the discord. he was, by his own admission, kinda dumb, but he was friendly enough i guess? i found it pretty tedious talking to him tbh a few months ago, jay saw that kris and crappy had lots of bounties on them (bounties they'd got by doing things like "massive buymugs on idiots" and "disrupting the entire market for armour in the course of a week"), and decided he wanted bounties too. so what did he do? he went in general chat and started spamming, getting stupider and stupider, until he started posting furry erotica. so yeah, he got bounties, by basically making GBS threads his pants in public and rolling in the poo poo until people started hitting him with baseball bats. also he got warned by staff to not do things like "post furry erotica in general chat". it was incredibly baffling to see someone basically doing this in 2020 and thinking it would be lauded by goons. last month, jay did a buymug on someone (which is actually Proper Goon Behaviour), and the guy got mad and bountied him. (for reference, the pubbie's faction's initials are ThB) jay bountied him back and taunted him, and then also bountied the THB leader and taunted her too. this was dumb. instead of just being a slapfight between two individuals, jay went out of his way to pull in Big Angry Pubbies, the kind of people who have been playing this game for ten years and can kill all goons with basically no effort. why did jay do this? i can think of two possible reasons: 1) jay had seen discussion on how useful bounties were in previous faction war, and thought "all i need to do is put bounties on these big players and i will win" 2) jay is really loving stupid so people yelled at him to stop escalating, and for a few days he did, but then a few days later he decided to start again. now, when did he start to escalate again? why, in the midst of the faction trying not to get killed due to the drama from my previous post, of course! clearly the best thing to do during an unwinnable war is to turn it into a two-front war  goons scramble for damage control, a deal is eventually made with THB that's basically "your raid stops after 24 hours, we pay 50mil (half of which came from jay's account)**, and you can hit jay all you want for a month with no retaliation". jay pitched a small fit, but then the next day went along with things at least? fast forward to yesterday! at some point jay was found streaming with a Known Shithead Chud Nazi, and got called out on the discord. jay had mod powers for some reason, so he muted the person who called him out. and then, because jay is really loving stupid, he told said nazi about what happened, and invited them onto the discord. fortunately, since it was a known shithead nazi, mods banned him immediately and started investigating how he even got invited. oh look, an invite link that jay made, that has only been used once! by said nazi! so naturally kris confronted him and was like "jay, did you invite a nazi to the discord" and jay replied with "yes here is a screenshot of me sending the invite, also ~*~I dOn'T cArE aBoUt PoLiTiCs~*~" i lied at the top, it's actually the Ballad of Jay Who Turned Out To Be A Nazi Enabler At Best (gently caress You, Jay) so naturally he's been banned from the discord and kicked from the faction, because frankly if you hang out with nazis you're pretty much a nazi. also he's been bountied to hell in-game and is unlikely to spend very much time at all out of the hospital. bonus "jay is loving stupid" material! - months ago jay posted something like "i don't get why people are so upset about [trump]" - during the Great Lifeboating, when the discord was being flooded and jazz was asking what channels he should add, jay suggested fyad. it might have been a joke, but given jay, it might not have been a joke - jay is currently whining to the leadership of THB that goons didn't give him his money when he got kicked. 1) he never asked for it, and 2) lol he's not getting it, except maybe in the form of bounties. **i have been corrected on this - the money that was supposed to be paid by jay was actually paid by blackcats, and jay got kicked for being a massive gently caress before he paid it back. p.s. jay, if you read this, gently caress you and get off the forums, you are nazi-enabling trash, gently caress off forever biosterous fucked around with this message at 13:41 on Aug 3, 2020 |
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Aug 3, 2020 05:13
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time for another writeup, as i am the torn historian! the ballad of jestah one time jestah stole money and said a slur and got banned from the discord, the end. it's not a very interesting story.
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Aug 11, 2020 15:56
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yes we are all very triggered by your 2008-era trolling 
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Aug 11, 2020 23:28
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Aug 11, 2020 23:42
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Aug 31, 2020 22:05
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important news! torn goons are rebranding! out with the old*:  and in with the new:   *not actually, this image is still up and also wonderful
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Sep 26, 2020 05:28
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repent! goons have forsworn their drug-abusing ways and are now Gods Love Cr[e]w! time to spread the Word, the only way you can in Torn (violence, sending anonymous messages to pubbies, bounties)  also they were a pizza mafia before but i forgot to grab those images
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Oct 11, 2020 14:36
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Sab Sabbington posted:All of the bullshit has been worth it for this exchange, getting a pubbie to say he made his wife hold his lovely diaper so he could be 4th in line to throat gently caress someone named slippyslappy's mom is excellent. 
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Nov 29, 2020 16:34
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hi will! thanks for letting us know you're reading the thread. you should also come read some threads in BYOB, it's a great place to chill with friends
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Nov 29, 2020 22:33
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i sent a report requesting a title change, it would be perfect
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Nov 30, 2020 22:26
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ShallNoiseUpon posted:I can do that name change, sure. Enjoy! another byob success story. i'm claiming this for byob and you can't stop me!!
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Dec 1, 2020 05:44
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Fat and Useless posted:God I used to play this in the early 2000's. I'm up for generating pubbie tears by just existing. App sent as Fat_and_Useless. sorry i accused you of being an obvious spy! in my defense: i keep playing this game so i must be p dumb
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Dec 1, 2020 20:01
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Vizzerdrix posted:Nice raids you got going there. I'm already settled in a faction but just wanted to pop in and say hi (cz4r on Torn). hello j4g goon! i invite you to come post in the secret planning forum here! there's no way for people to read what we're planning there if they don't have an account
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Dec 2, 2020 14:30
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Vizzerdrix posted:wow you got me I'm a filthy lurker, just thought I'd post something that could potentially be useful since it'd be a shame to see the fac die okay but please come post on BYOB, lurkers must post also lmao we got "talking about sandwiches" banned in the torn thread, i'm so loving proud of this incredibly dumb accomplishment
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Dec 2, 2020 22:27
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pubbies got mad that we started talking about sandwiches instead of how hard goons were getting stomped, and even more mad that other pubbies were joining in with sandwich chat. now there's a separate thread for sandwich chat, though, and it wasn't even one of us that started it. we have made legit sandwich pals out of this, which is just such a delight. i'm so happy that we have found common ground with people by talking about delicious sandwiches.
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Dec 3, 2020 00:28
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unoplank posted:I know it was talked about during the War of Weed Aggression, but are we any closer to Order 69 going into effect? Or are we waiting on more ... "friends" in "high" "places"? friendly reminder to limit all tactical discussions to the secret forum. check the Nuthatch thread if you have trouble finding the latest strategy!
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Dec 8, 2020 15:01
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EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A DRUG INTO MY MOUTH. ITS XANAX AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I GO TO CHURCH AND START PRAYING ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, FATHER WILLIAMS. I SAY EVERY PRAYER AND I SAY EVERY PRAYER HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I REPENT FOR SOME SINS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP LITURGY. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY MAXED OUT TORN CITY'S HIDDEN LUCK BAR. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY FACTION AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN FACTION CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE SCRIPTURES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING COOLDOWN EVERY MORNIng
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Dec 10, 2020 04:17
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  sometimes this game is good (also lol the chin diaper doesn't count as a mask for game-mechanics purposes, that's a great touch)
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Dec 20, 2020 14:42
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nippythefish posted:bit of an update: we've settled in with HT-O and it's going well. oSEB, the leader of HT-O, has developed a serious dislike of Willroc-a-fella (who has renamed to "The-Bad-Guy") and we've been expending all our milestone hits on Hooligans during chains. Each milestone hit takes away huge chunks of respect from said faction, and ol' Will has been complaining to oSEB. It's been a complete reversal of fortune for the guy and he's sad. 
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Jan 17, 2021 19:28
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periodic reminder that all secret planning should be posted at http://chillinternet.club/ for maximum security
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Jan 28, 2021 05:13
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esto es malo posted:i have been bamboozled and yet i did not see you post????
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Mar 1, 2021 00:17
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the tutorial npc
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May 18, 2021 23:27
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sometimes in torn you make a friend  so like two days i made an incredibly basic shitpost on the torn forums  two days later the guy apparently decides that this is important enough to chat with me about?  uh oh he's Very Smart!!   i should befriend him he seems to have it together   (seriously i can't stop imagining it as a super-dramatic "REFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN from friending me!!", chewing all of the scenary)   then he logged off  i hope he comes back soon so we can talk more 
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Jun 12, 2021 20:15
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nippythefish posted:Furthermore is one word you absolute loving idiot. that mistake is in the part where i'm mocking him by posting like him, so, e: don't forget to check on the latest secret goon strategy here biosterous fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Jul 14, 2021 |
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Jul 8, 2021 22:20
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unoplank posted:please reset my password for the site, current one is hunter2 oh okay, there is now a new password, enjoy!
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Aug 25, 2021 16:44
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| # ¿ May 12, 2024 08:45 |
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game still bad, dev good though
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Mar 23, 2022 17:16
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