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have you heard of quibi, the mobile-only video streaming service that has been brought into the world by this pair of corporate liches, jeffrey katzenberg and meg whitman (you might recall thjat whitman was the ceo of HP and she fuckin sucked at it. the only good thing she did was axe webOS): it launched in april or whatever and i just started paying attention to it now so if more funny things have happened since then tell me quibi is some hilarious bullshit that could only have arisen from a c-suite hotbox. they somehow raised 1 billion earth dollars for what might be the dumbest idea for a streaming platform ever (except for crunchyroll, the streaming platform for pedophiles). imagine this: you get to pay $5 to watch E X C L U S I V E tiktok videos on your phone with a bunch of ads. BUT you can pay $8 a month to not see the ads. lets hear the visionary leaders explain quiburp!!! when asked why the gently caress anyone cares about his dumbass dead end platform, katzenberg explains: quote:“They’re all battling for this,” he says as he thrusts his arm toward a TV in the room. “We’re going for this,” he says, gesturing toward his phone. “Don’t tell them!” ya ok sounds like you're either lying or oblivious but either way go on quote:Everything on Quibi is designed for viewing on a phone, on the go, in 10 minutes or less. These chunks of video are called “quick bites” — hence, “Quibi.” When Quibi arrives on April 6th of this year, it’ll cost $5 a month for an ad-supported version or $8 a month for an ad-free experience. uhhh maybe theres a really good value proposition quote:Instagram and YouTube are happy to let people watch user-generated content for free, but Katzenberg, as always, is bullish on star power. The social media companies don’t actually understand how to make quality content, he says. “They don’t know how to do what we do, with all due respect,” he says. what is it that hollywood knows how to do? oh its this: quote:“THEY’RE MAKING CONTENT AT $100 A MINUTE — WE’RE MAKING CONTENT AT $100,000 A MINUTE.” lmbo but wait they have some hot-as-fire streaming tech that its gonna knock ur fuckin dick off: portrait AND landscape support quote:the video feed you’re not watching arrives as a lower-res “sidecar” stream that jumps to full quality when you switch to it — means that Turnstyle video uses only 20 percent more data than a standard video. anyway if youre concerned this platform might not take off have i got some news for you quote:“Sorry. I’ve been doing this — I get to say this — I’ve been doing this before you all were loving born.” 
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May 26, 2020 23:53
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why not just post the entire article bitch
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May 26, 2020 23:53
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Kirk posted:the only good thing she did was axe webOS gas thread, permaban op
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May 27, 2020 00:11
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HI KIRK! HOW ARE YOU? I AM FINE.
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May 27, 2020 00:31
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Kirk posted:the only good thing she did was axe webOS you know what? gently caress you
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May 27, 2020 00:32
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i mean what the gently caress
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May 27, 2020 00:32
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Hi 👋
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May 27, 2020 01:00
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world quibitch cup
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May 27, 2020 01:02
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great thread, voted 5
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May 27, 2020 01:18
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is it an app
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May 27, 2020 01:22
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it’s like yeah phones are digital opioids and companies like this are unashamedly trying to make the next oxycodone
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May 27, 2020 01:23
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Little bit of anime hate in the op. Not a fan. Keep up with the times old man
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May 27, 2020 01:38
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where’s the lie
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May 27, 2020 01:56
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rotor posted:HI KIRK! HOW ARE YOU? I AM FINE. rotor posted:you know what? gently caress you rotor posted:i mean what the gently caress this storytelling is probably well beyond anything you would find on quibi
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May 27, 2020 02:10
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anime hate is racism qtiyd
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May 27, 2020 02:12
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aha! but what if the anime is about the klan! or nazis! what then jonny 290? hmm? i’ll wait. (i won’t wait)
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May 27, 2020 02:21
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enough quibbling
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May 27, 2020 02:30
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quibiling
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May 27, 2020 02:30
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troubles with quibbles
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May 27, 2020 02:31
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Kirk posted:Everything on Quibi is designed for viewing on a phone, on the go, in 10 minutes or less. These chunks of video are called “quick bites” — hence, “Quibi.” some years ago the hot tech marketing term was "snackable content" and it always made me grind my teeth whenever i heard it
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May 27, 2020 02:38
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it's just such a business person thing to look at the market and go "there's not much premium short content, this is an opportunity" without even thinking for a second there might be a reason why
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May 27, 2020 02:40
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lmao, let me just pay for youtubs and tiktites.Kirk posted:where’s the lie
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May 27, 2020 02:47
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Jonny 290 posted:anime hate is racism qtiyd I don’t necessarily hate anime, I hate people who like anime.
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May 27, 2020 02:48
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The Management posted:I don’t necessarily hate anime, I hate people who like anime. please stop being so hard on yourself
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May 27, 2020 02:55
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am I racist because I don’t like black metal
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May 27, 2020 03:11
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echinopsis posted:am I racist because I don’t like black metal no, that's not why you're racist
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May 27, 2020 03:35
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qirex posted:it's just such a business person thing to look at the market and go "there's not much premium short content, this is an opportunity" without even thinking for a second there might be a reason why I was just thinking it's a very Boomer thing to look at kids engrossed in their smartphones for hours on end, watching something incredibly mundane like a guy playing Minecraft in real time, and conclude "they have no attention span."
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May 27, 2020 03:42
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didint they promise that turntable means you could get DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES like dvds promised and blue rays promised and then never did because its a stupid idea anyway they will never get to the point where they silently forget about the idea because the moment they launched everyone got locked in side amd started watching hours of full movies and tv series lmao this golden arm itches
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May 27, 2020 03:50
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someone post the golden arm tweet
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May 27, 2020 04:01
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iirc the only things that used the dvd different camera angles thing is porn. idk because i just steal my smut but
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May 27, 2020 04:02
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Jonny 290 posted:iirc the only things that used the dvd different camera angles thing is porn. idk because i just steal my smut but i had a copy of shaolin soccer that had them i think
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May 27, 2020 04:09
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god drat thats a good film
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May 27, 2020 04:12
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i mean "good" but still
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May 27, 2020 04:13
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if shaolin soccer isn't about ghostface keepah i don't care
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May 27, 2020 04:28
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i haven't watched that in ages but now i want to. and kung fu hustle.
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May 27, 2020 04:33
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Sagebrush posted:I was just thinking it's a very Boomer thing to look at kids engrossed in their smartphones for hours on end, watching something incredibly mundane like a guy playing Minecraft in real time, and conclude "they have no attention span." in reality of course the kidzzz today binge watch whole seasons of premium tv shows in one sitting, listen to a twelve hour podcast about a single true crime murder case, and spend a whole day watching someone stream themselves playing a video game
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May 27, 2020 05:35
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also wb kirk
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May 27, 2020 05:36
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Kirk posted:have you heard of quibi, the mobile-only video streaming service that has been brought into the world by this pair of corporate liches, jeffrey katzenberg and meg whitman no.
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May 27, 2020 05:53
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FMguru posted:its 100% boomers making GBS threads on millenials and zoomers, whose they believe have stupid brains that are so rotted out that they can only absorb information in five minute chunks it makes no sense to think that humans are worse than they used to be, and if you do believe that? whose fault is it? it’s yours fucker
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May 27, 2020 06:40
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lol katzenberg looks like a real life judge doom
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May 27, 2020 07:04
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