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have you heard of quibi, the mobile-only video streaming service that has been brought into the world by this pair of corporate liches, jeffrey katzenberg and meg whitman (you might recall thjat whitman was the ceo of HP and she fuckin sucked at it. the only good thing she did was axe webOS): it launched in april or whatever and i just started paying attention to it now so if more funny things have happened since then tell me quibi is some hilarious bullshit that could only have arisen from a c-suite hotbox. they somehow raised 1 billion earth dollars for what might be the dumbest idea for a streaming platform ever (except for crunchyroll, the streaming platform for pedophiles). imagine this: you get to pay $5 to watch E X C L U S I V E tiktok videos on your phone with a bunch of ads. BUT you can pay $8 a month to not see the ads. lets hear the visionary leaders explain quiburp!!! when asked why the gently caress anyone cares about his dumbass dead end platform, katzenberg explains: quote:“They’re all battling for this,” he says as he thrusts his arm toward a TV in the room. “We’re going for this,” he says, gesturing toward his phone. “Don’t tell them!” ya ok sounds like you're either lying or oblivious but either way go on quote:Everything on Quibi is designed for viewing on a phone, on the go, in 10 minutes or less. These chunks of video are called “quick bites” — hence, “Quibi.” When Quibi arrives on April 6th of this year, it’ll cost $5 a month for an ad-supported version or $8 a month for an ad-free experience. uhhh maybe theres a really good value proposition quote:Instagram and YouTube are happy to let people watch user-generated content for free, but Katzenberg, as always, is bullish on star power. The social media companies don’t actually understand how to make quality content, he says. “They don’t know how to do what we do, with all due respect,” he says. what is it that hollywood knows how to do? oh its this: quote:“THEY’RE MAKING CONTENT AT $100 A MINUTE — WE’RE MAKING CONTENT AT $100,000 A MINUTE.” lmbo but wait they have some hot-as-fire streaming tech that its gonna knock ur fuckin dick off: portrait AND landscape support quote:the video feed you’re not watching arrives as a lower-res “sidecar” stream that jumps to full quality when you switch to it — means that Turnstyle video uses only 20 percent more data than a standard video. anyway if youre concerned this platform might not take off have i got some news for you quote:“Sorry. I’ve been doing this — I get to say this — I’ve been doing this before you all were loving born.” 
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May 26, 2020 23:53
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 14:37 |
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why not just post the entire article bitch
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May 26, 2020 23:53
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where’s the lie
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May 27, 2020 01:56
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President Beep posted:things it might be: Quibi brings together the best of Hollywood and Silicon Valley.
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May 28, 2020 16:40
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Every morning I wake up and slam the What's New button in quibi. It's Quibi's Big Bang Theory spinoff and right then and there I start saying the jokes alongside with the main character, Sheldon Cooper. I recite every pop-culture reference they can cram into 5 minutes. Making math jokes and computer sound effects with my mouth. Not many can say they can watch videos cropped perfectly for both portrait and landscape mode. I can. I say it and I say it out loud every day to people on my favorite computer forum and all they do is prove people on yospos can still be immature jerks. And I've seen all the quibi content and I've learned how to make myself and my apartment less lonely by rewatching all of it every day. 2 hours including wind down every morning. Then I post.
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May 28, 2020 18:28
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Quibi Will Close Down in One of Hollywood’s Biggest Flops lol Among the names being floated for possible Biden Cabinet posts are Meg Whitman, the CEO of Quibi lmao
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Oct 22, 2020 02:34
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 14:37 |
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~Coxy posted:What is it with these CEOs that fail every venture, even taking over big companies and leaving them as small companies, and still getting their next gig as though nothing ever happened? i have failed upward my entire life because i'm a tall white person. it fukcing rules quote:kirk are you still in edmonton yeah i never stopped being a moron
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Oct 22, 2020 18:50
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