NFL N/V June: c4mNeWToNs1gnsW1THthePATR1oTS

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL N/V June: c4mNeWToNs1gnsW1THthePATR1oTS

«‹›56 »

Do you ______ the things that are going on This poll is closed.
recognize	17	18.89%
acknowledge	33	36.67%
see	15	16.67%
view	25	27.78%
Total:	90 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

The Dave: Sep 9, 2003

Hahahaha.

Black Bortles is the name of my indie mumble rap side project plz don�t doxx.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 03:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 05:39

Penisaurus Sex: Feb 3, 2009; asdfghjklpoiuyt

I thought you shouldn�t put up monuments to Jesus.

Didn�t a war get fought over that where thousands of people got slaughtered?

# ? Jul 1, 2020 03:44

Cat Hassler: Feb 7, 2006; Slippery Tilde

He forgot about Fred Rogers

# ? Jul 1, 2020 03:47

The Wild Man of YOLO: Apr 20, 2004; A little cross-country, gentlemen?

What if Black Bortles was Blake

# ? Jul 1, 2020 04:07

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

In a car with Blake when suddenly the road is blocked ahead of us:

Brake, Bortles!

# ? Jul 1, 2020 04:36

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Coming soon to the Food Network: Bake Bortles

# ? Jul 1, 2020 04:41

Rooster Brooster: Mar 30, 2001; Maybe it doesn't really matter anymore.

Rocky locks eyes with the big Russian in the center of the ring. The ref commands them to touch gloves.

"I must Bort you."

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:00

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

sharknado slashfic posted:

https://twitter.com/BirkMatt/status/1278033408095072256

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXn3r5plloI

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:01

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

Whoa

The Dave posted:

Black Bortles

Bam-ba-lam

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:27

Cat Hassler: Feb 7, 2006; Slippery Tilde

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:34

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Keith Atherton posted:

Mirror Universe Blake Bortles

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:37

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

The Dave posted:

Black Bortles

Won't you come
And wash away the rain

The Dave posted:

Black Bortles

Won't you come
Won't you come

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:53

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Alaois posted:

Whoa

Bam-ba-lam
Whoa

Bam-ba-lam

I get this reference

# ? Jul 1, 2020 06:05

AndrewP: Apr 21, 2010

sharknado slashfic posted:

https://twitter.com/BirkMatt/status/1278033408095072256

reminder that Matt Birk is a Harvard graduate

# ? Jul 1, 2020 06:20

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Excuse me, my son is also named Bortles.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 06:31

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

AndrewP posted:

reminder that Matt Birk is a piece of poo poo

# ? Jul 1, 2020 06:59

Blowjob Overtime: Apr 6, 2008; Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Better Than You posted:

https://www.startribune.com/nfl-s-matt-birk-let-s-protect-marriage-and-speech/171850721/

Matt Birk posted:

Same-sex unions may not affect my marriage specifically, but it will affect my children.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 14:16

Rectal Placenta: Feb 25, 2011

Blowjob Overtime posted:

https://www.startribune.com/nfl-s-matt-birk-let-s-protect-marriage-and-speech/171850721/

Well, we have to be concerned about the gay particle clouds emmiting from their bodies mutating pets and children and trees and stuff.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 14:51

Sour Diesel: Jan 30, 2010

unrelated to any convo going on i would like to post my hot take that larry fitz is better than TO was

discuss

# ? Jul 1, 2020 15:32

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

For God�s sake it�s July let�s not keep stewing in June�s juices any longer.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3931030

Silly Burrito fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Jul 1, 2020

# ? Jul 1, 2020 15:35

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

Sour Diesel posted:

unrelated to any convo going on i would like to post my hot take that larry fitz is better than TO was

discuss

Fitz paid CBs to go for his upper body instead of his knees while TO actively tried to get people to hate him enough to go for his knees

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:50

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

Sour Diesel posted:

unrelated to any convo going on i would like to post my hot take that larry fitz is better than TO was

discuss

I am interested in your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:59

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

i can see why you feel the way you do. even though TO was better on the field and not just a frank gore, larry fitz beat up his gf and had everyone side with him while TO was kind of mentally ill and had everyone want him to die.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:59

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Sour Diesel posted:

unrelated to any convo going on i would like to post my hot take that larry fitz is better than TO was

discuss

That's not a particularly hot take. Fitz was way better than TO imo

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:59

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

Cavauro posted:

i can see why you feel the way you do. even though TO was better on the field and not just a frank gore, larry fitz beat up his gf and had everyone side with him while TO was kind of mentally ill and had everyone want him to die.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:10

nerve: Jan 2, 2011; SKA SUCKS

How can you manage to make Fitz > TO make any sense?

Is the entire argument just a list of Cardinals QBs

# ? Jul 1, 2020 19:52

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

nerve posted:

How can you manage to make Fitz > TO make any sense?

Is the entire argument just a list of Cardinals QBs

That list would make a strong argument.

John Skelton!
Kevin Kolb!
Ryan Lindley (Sorry, Ross)!
Brian Hoyer (He was a Cardinal?!)!
Max Hall!
Derek Anderson!

:randstare:

EDIT: Also it�s July.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 19:57

hifi: Jul 25, 2012

larry/TO are completely different players imo, if you're asking what hall of famer you want to complete your superbowl run on one of the stacked SF/dallas teams of the 90s then sure, TO. If you want a hall of fame WR to drag your garbage rear end team to 8 wins then it's probably larry. just look at drop rate, y/r, and receptions per game. larry was basically a tight end from 2011 until 2018.

for completeness,

Quarterbacks who have thrown touchdown passes to Larry Fitzgerald:

Kurt Warner - 39
Carson Palmer - 28
Josh McCown - 12
John Skelton - 7
Kevin Kolb - 5
Matt Leinart - 5
Josh Rosen - 5
Kyler Murray - 4
Derek Anderson - 4
Drew Stanton - 3
Blaine Gabbert - 2
Max Hall - 1
Richard Bartel - 1
John Navarre - 1
Shaun King - 1
Brian St. Pierre - 1

# ? Jul 1, 2020 20:09

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

https://twitter.com/KaplanSportsBiz/status/1278401096407547904

lol ok

# ? Jul 1, 2020 20:12

CyberPingu: Sep 15, 2013; If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

loving hell America.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 20:20

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

https://twitter.com/MrPie93/status/1278346772381872128?s=19

# ? Jul 1, 2020 20:59

TheBizzness: Oct 5, 2004; Reign on me.

TO > Fitz but it�s pretty close.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:07

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

OxySnake posted:

https://twitter.com/MrPie93/status/1278346772381872128?s=19

How long was THAT Chad Pennington run?

# ? Jul 1, 2020 23:16

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Silly Burrito posted:

How long was THAT Chad Pennington run?

Technically one yard, since I think it was a bootleg or a play action. His longest career run was 16.

# ? Jul 2, 2020 00:40

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

OxySnake posted:

https://twitter.com/MrPie93/status/1278346772381872128?s=19

https://youtu.be/_okhg0nc7AM

Even the announcers are laughing

# ? Jul 2, 2020 00:47

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

What�s Brady�s longest run?

# ? Jul 2, 2020 00:54

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

What�s Brady�s longest run?

18-1

Real answer is 22 yards in 2006

# ? Jul 2, 2020 00:56

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Yeah, against the Bengals, and I can't find any footage of it

He had 2 17 yard runs recently, against the Chiefs and Dolphins if you want to see what happens when absolutely zero care or respect is given to an old man's legs.

# ? Jul 2, 2020 01:03

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Kalli posted:

Yeah, against the Bengals, and I can't find any footage of it

He had 2 17 yard runs recently, against the Chiefs and Dolphins if you want to see what happens when absolutely zero care or respect is given to an old man's legs.

Behold, the longest run of Philip Rivers' career

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44vM_GqiSqs

# ? Jul 2, 2020 01:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 05:39

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

This is the best Peyton run.

https://youtu.be/MIboLtRtx9E

The frantic pointing and waving everyone to the right then rolling out left is what makes it. :manning:

# ? Jul 2, 2020 01:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL N/V June: c4mNeWToNs1gnsW1THthePATR1oTS

«‹›56 »