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lol https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/1272880811327524866?s=20 https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/953407956451815424?s=20 https://twitter.com/JoshuaChavers/status/865998928424181760?s=20
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Jun 16, 2020 14:35
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"The task force noted that it could not determine the precise size of the breach because the CIA hacking team did not require monitoring of who used its network, but concluded that the employee stole as much as 34 terabytes of information, or about 2.2 billion pages."
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Jun 16, 2020 14:50
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lol the CIA moved their Afghanistan team into China thinking they were hot poo poo and the operation was immediately compromised while China sat in their kitchen and catalogued every report and transmission they made
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Jun 16, 2020 15:04
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good thread
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Jun 16, 2020 15:21
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Jose posted:lol Still not close to Robert Hanssen - can't even outdo the FBI - pathetic.
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Jun 16, 2020 15:23
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Francis_Buckleywiki posted:On 8 March 1985, a car bomb exploded between 9[1] and 45 metres[2] from the house of Islamic cleric Sayyed Mohammad Hussein Fadlallah in Beirut, Lebanon, in a failed assassination attempt organized by the American CIA. The bombing killed more than 80 people and injured 200, almost all civilians, mostly women and children. wiki posted:According to the biographical information distributed by the CIA, Buckley was "a collector and builder of miniature soldiers." wiki posted:Buckley was close to a gibbering wretch. His words were often incoherent; he slobbered and drooled and, most unnerving of all, he would suddenly scream in terror, his eyes rolling helplessly and his body shaking. The CIA consensus was that he would be blindfolded and chained at the ankles and wrists and kept in a cell little bigger than a coffin.
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Jun 16, 2020 15:44
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wasnt the china thing because they just told them to upload documents to something like spies.cia.gov/china_spy_portal
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Jun 16, 2020 15:48
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i dont have wikipedia quotes for it, but the cia also got their beirut team wiped out because they kept meeting in the same pizza restaurant even after they knew their code word for it (literally just a silly pizza pun) had been compromised, with the justification of "well who would scope out every pizza restaurant in Beirut?" hezbollah. hezbollah would scope out every pizza restaurant in bierut. also the CIA keeps some weird freak who converted to 12er shiisim around and plan things because they think his conversion lets him "see into the mind of the enemy". he once vetted a man he recruited as an agent, letting him into a cia operations room without being checked for weapons, whereupon the man activated his suicide vest. this weirdo is still allowed to be in charge of things
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Jun 16, 2020 15:54
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Jose posted:lol So how do the alphabet boys torture and kill their whistleblowers?
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Jun 22, 2020 20:48
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Zas posted:good thread
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Jun 22, 2020 21:55
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CIA history is basically an unending chain of sucking at HUMINT and doubling down on SIGINT, and then getting sloppy after only applying that SIGINT against illiterate goatherders, and now its trying to apply their "can beat illiterate goatherders" sigint against sophisticated states.
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Jun 23, 2020 00:24
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cia? you see i ain't kiddin'
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Jun 23, 2020 00:26
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the cia usually fails and sometimes succeeds, but either way they make the world a worse place with every operation.
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Jun 23, 2020 00:42
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lol James Jesus Angleton was the sixth member of the Cambridge Five
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Jun 23, 2020 01:01
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Love the thread concept the failing C LIE A is a pack of LOSERS and PERVERTS
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Jun 23, 2020 01:08
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I like all the wacky pink panther schemes the CIA tried to discredit or kill fidel Castro -Exploding Cigars -LSD before a speech -Make Fidel's beard fall off to destroy his powerful Chad Energy -Hiring assassins to kill Fidel that were easily caught
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Jun 23, 2020 01:15
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Zedhe Khoja posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Francis_Buckley lmao at how easy it was to kidnap since he never changed his daily work routine or even where he lived. quote:On March 16, 1984, Buckley was kidnapped by Hezbollah from his apartment building when he was leaving for work.
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Jun 23, 2020 01:30
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the CIA hired Bing Crosby and his brother to make a porno (using a random latino in a bald-cap lol classic CIA racism) of Sukarno, the first president of Indonesia, in an attempt to humiliate him but they didn't have the foresight to know that most Indonesians already knew him as "this dude fucks" link1  link2  since this failed they went with what will be the CIA staple arming right-wing death squads 
yellowcar has issued a correction as of 06:09 on Jun 23, 2020 |
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Jun 23, 2020 06:00
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VaultDog7: loading hacking tools...
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Jun 23, 2020 07:08
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yellowcar posted:the CIA hired Bing Crosby and his brother to make a porno (using a random latino in a bald-cap lol classic CIA racism) of Sukarno, the first president of Indonesia, in an attempt to humiliate him but they didn't have the foresight to know that most Indonesians already knew him as "this dude fucks" the cia started a private war in indonesia in the late 50s trying to overthrow sukarno which predictably ended in a shambolic and embarrassing failure because the secret anti-sukarno army they were convinced just had to be out there failed to materialize
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Jun 23, 2020 07:13
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informants aren't CIA employees, they're responsible for their own safety 
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Jun 23, 2020 07:20
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Jun 23, 2020 07:35
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It amazes me how a nation can be so incompetent at the spy game yet become, defend, and remain the hegemon of the entire world. And even the nations imminent collapse is for reasons unrelated to spying.
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Jun 23, 2020 07:38
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galagazombie posted:It amazes me how a nation can be so incompetent at the spy game yet become, defend, and remain the hegemon of the entire world. If you've got enough money you don't actually have to be good at anything
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Jun 23, 2020 07:55
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etalian posted:I like all the wacky pink panther schemes the CIA tried to discredit or kill fidel Castro Don't forget the honeypot who abandoned the plot because of Fidels excellent dicking.
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Jun 23, 2020 08:08
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I've been mainlining Gerard de Villiers books and the most recent one I read has an absolute gem of a CIA op where they exfiltrate a PLA general source by literally putting her on the slow train to Hong Kong and hoping for the best. They also outsource the second half of it to the triads and they have her smuggle a Ming vase as well because why not
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Jun 23, 2020 08:25
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OP says these were all former employees? International relations follows games industry rules
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Jun 23, 2020 08:30
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Crane Fist posted:If you've got enough money you don't actually have to be good at anything It's this. The CIA's earliest "success" was handing over literal briefcases stuffed with money to the Christian Democratic party to swing the '48 election against the Italian Communist party. With the Marshall Plan recapitalizing lots of countries around the world, the nascent CIA could basically get a foothold anywhere outside the Soviet bloc. Plus 5% of the Marshall Plan went directly to the CIA's budget - an ungodly amount of money.
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Jun 23, 2020 12:53
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 Can you believe that this CIA agent turned out to be a Russian spy
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Jun 23, 2020 14:35
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MeatwadIsGod posted:It's this. The CIA's earliest "success" was handing over literal briefcases stuffed with money to the Christian Democratic party to swing the '48 election against the Italian Communist party. With the Marshall Plan recapitalizing lots of countries around the world, the nascent CIA could basically get a foothold anywhere outside the Soviet bloc. Plus 5% of the Marshall Plan went directly to the CIA's budget - an ungodly amount of money. the Philosopher's Legacy 
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Jun 23, 2020 14:56
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hopefully whatever cia employee has to read this thread because they monitor SA feels bullied by it
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Jun 23, 2020 15:25
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lol
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Jun 23, 2020 15:26
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Zedhe Khoja posted:Don't forget the honeypot who abandoned the plot because of Fidels excellent dicking. Hahaha what
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Jun 23, 2020 15:27
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Jose posted:hopefully whatever cia employee has to read this thread because they monitor SA feels bullied by it i'm pretty sure the goon watcher is actually stuck with goon watching for the rest of his career because he ended up doing it when it mattered and now he's stuck doing it until the lowtax machine runs out of replacement sprockets if you're reading this now is the time to submit a request for that new chair but don't fold to the pressure for the standing desk those are bullshit and everyone knows it
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Jun 23, 2020 15:36
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Victory Position posted:the Philosopher's Legacy MGS3 jumpstarted my interest in the Cold War. It rules so hard. When I was like 15 and I found out that the Davy Crockett missile launcher was actually real I was so  that I had to know how it all came about. I see the Cold War and Civil War in a similar light in that you cannot begin to understand America without knowing that history, but it's intentionally under-taught in schools so you have to seek out that information on your own.
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Jun 23, 2020 15:39
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Lawman 0 posted:Hahaha what its honestly not that outlandish. while alot of attention is given to recruited nazi tibetan wizards and african hating poison gnomes, most cia recruits who aren't office drones signed on either for money or because they're losers desperate for meaning. it's why there were so many more anti-cia double agents. once whatever wreck of a human being they manipulated into doing their dirty work came into contact with some sort of idealogical project that wasn't "more money for trillionaires" or "destroy the browns" they usually threw their lot in pretty quickly. two times the cia discovered that their entire anti-communist networks consisted entirely of traitors.
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Jun 23, 2020 18:11
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yellowcar posted:the CIA hired Bing Crosby and his brother to make a porno lmao, this is a beautiful sentence
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Jun 23, 2020 18:34
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Zedhe Khoja posted:i dont have wikipedia quotes for it, but the cia also got their beirut team wiped out because they kept meeting in the same pizza restaurant even after they knew their code word for it (literally just a silly pizza pun) had been compromised, with the justification of "well who would scope out every pizza restaurant in Beirut?" 🤔 a pizza parlor you say? 🤔
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Jun 23, 2020 20:11
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There was an episode of House MD where he's brought in to Langley to diagnose some spy that's been dying of something that they're convinced was the result of a deliberate poisoning. The final reveal turns out that he's been suffering from selenium poisoning as a result of eating too many Brazil nuts, which they wouldn't ever have thought of because his case officer told House that the agent was posted in Bolivia - they didn't tell House the truth because they were trying to obfuscate where he was and what he was doing and figured that the climate, people, diseases, parasites, etc., were close enough, but weren't counting on the languages being just barely different enough that "Brazil nuts" turned into "chestnuts", which is why they never suspected anything. I thought it was kind of a cool slam on the CIA for their OpSec poo poo sabotaging themselves as they try to be too clever by half.
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Jun 28, 2020 16:42
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I do not lol at the CIA, I only feel hatred worth of AM.
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Jun 28, 2020 17:03
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