Let's Nuzlocke Pokemon Ultra Moon

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Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Pokemon needs no introduction, it�s been with us for over 20 years and shows no sign of stopping any time soon. This is Ultra Moon, the re-release of Sun and Moon in a similar vein to Crystal, Emerald, and so on. I�m given to understand there are some changes to the story, most people I�ve asked say they�re for the better, but I�m here to determine that for myself.

But this is no ordinary Pokemon Let�s Play. If you�re interested in that, see Crosspiece�s ongoing highly informative LP of the whole series, he should reach this game in a couple years, or see Seyser Koze�s blind LP of the Gen 3 remake Fire Red.

I�m here to offer up something a little different.

This is a Pokemon Ultra Moon Nuzlocke run.

Update 1: As Close to the Orange Islands as We're Getting
Update 2: I Wanna be a Meowcho Man
Update 3: Press Down+B to Choke Professor Kukui
Update 4: Pokemon Fight! Ready? GO!
Update 5: Please Stop Helping Me
Update 6: I Don't Need No Education
Update 7: Good Ol� City Life
Update 8: The Trial of Captain Ilima
Update 9: Pokeball Z
Update 10: Pokevolution Hour
Update 11: VS. Kahuna Halla!
Update 12: Big Wednesday
Update 13: Meanwhile, Back on the Ranch
Update 14: Gone Fishin'

The Nuzlocke challenge run is fairly simple to explain. In any given area I may capture one (1) Pokemon, only the first wild Pokemon I encounter. If I knock it out or otherwise fail to capture it, too loving bad, no Pokemon from that area for me (static encounters don�t count against this). Every Pokemon I catch must be nicknamed (I rely entirely on you guys for this, I�m terrible at naming Pokemon). Any of my own Pokemon that are knocked out are permanently retired, given their own special PC box (the original rules called for releasing them, but the point is the same). I�m playing a lighter variant of the rules for my sanity. Firstly, I may retrieve a Pokemon from the retired box at the cost of a revive or max revive, but I can�t purchase any, I�m limited only to the ones given to you in-game. I can only use them after boxing a fainted �mon, no reviving in-battle or between battles. Any given area may give up two Pokemon, one from the land (grass, caves, shaking grass, etc.) and one from the water (surfing/fishing).

EDIT: Removed the revive clause, it really is too easy, considering how many revives this game throws at you.

It almost sounds easy, given those allowances. Almost. But my journey has only just begun.

Wipes
You see that previous paragraph? You see how it specifically doesn't mention anything about game overs? There's no official Nuzlocke rule for that. Once I have more than 6 mons I'll be retiring teams lost to wipes, but until then wipes will result in restarting from the last save (which I do frequently, because 3DS emulation is an unstable beast). Wipes will be tracked here for your reference and schadenfreude.

1. Trainer's School, Vs. Teacher Emily, no mons retired
2. Trainer's School, also Vs. Teacher Emily, no mons retired

Please, no spoilers for anything unique to Ultra Sun/Moon, regular Sun/Moon and all other games are fine.

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Nov 15, 2022

# ¿ Jun 20, 2020 09:42

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 20:49

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

As Close to the Orange Islands as We're Getting

I suppose playing in Korean would be its own kind of hard mode.

Like all the Pokemon professors, Kukui is named after a tree, the Hawaiian name for the candlenut tree.

Unlike all the other professors, he�s under the impression that shirts are optional.

So the day has finally come that you're moving to Alola! Alola is a region made up of several islands.

There's no shortage of cool Pokemon out here in Alola, either!

He�s not wrong, Gen 7 does have some of my favorite new Pokemon in a while. Lot of duds too, but that�ll happen in every game.

Such mysterious creatures! You find 'em all over. In the grass, in the caves, in the sky and sea... Here in Alola we love our Pokemon, and we depend on them heaps, too. Some of us even battle with 'em, if we call ourselves Pokemon Trainers!

I�m fairly certain that the people who don�t engage in organized cockfighting are still called trainers, it�s just that nobody cares about them.

All right, I gotta ask you some questions about yourself so I can introduce you to everybody!

Gen 7 has the most face options available at its release, a whole 8 faces. Gen 8 isn�t much better. This isn�t meant to be Skyrim.

None of these look anything like me, given that I�m a 34 year old nerd and not an 11 year old Pokemon trainer, so I let a D8 decide this.

Followed by naming my character. There aren�t a lot of games with name inputs long enough for Truthkeeper, credit where it�s due.

Who exactly is �everybody�, and why are you all so excited about an 11 year old girl moving in?

Truthkeeper! Yeah, that�s a name that hits you like a Trop Kick to the head! Woo!

I�m sure Kukui�s been kicked in the head enough times to be an expert in the field.

And with that, young Truthkeeper went to help her mother pack.

BUT MEANWHILE!

Something is� a-foot�

These people don�t look familiar, though the snazzy spacesuits fit Aether�s aesthetic a lot better than the generic white jumpsuits. Does Aether have executives now like the other various evil teams?

My first time playing through Sun I�d actually walked away while this scene ran and no idea about any of this, so I ended up a little confused later on.

And so Lillie and Nebbie exploded, the end.

Wait, so Truthkeeper and her mother were packing stuff in boxes three months before they even moved?

I actually kind of like the island structure of Alola, although there�s a lot of problems that I�ll get into later.

The developers had way too much fun with the 3d animation here.

On the 3DS, Moon and Ultra Moon had a schtick where the game time would be 12 hours later than your system time, reversing the day/night cycle. That doesn�t seem to be a thing while emulating the game, maybe Citrix has it�s own internal clock I need to set.

Ahhh! Could anything be more soothing? The first evening spent under Alola�s clam moon! I feel like I could stay out here all night. But that�s enough of that! Time to unpack all these boxes!

You spent three months packing them, and you plan to unpack them your first night in? Learn to move, noob.

Meowth then proceeded to vomit on her shoes and run off to chase flying-types. Because cats don�t do instructions.

A cat�s-eye view of Truthkeeper�s room.

A wake-up call most cat owners are familiar with, loosely translated as �get the hell off that bed, I want to sit there and I need the whole space!�.

Developers are still showing off their nifty 3D stuff.

And just look! It�s already night here! It�s completely the opposite of Kanto. But then we are so far away here in Alola.

I�d managed to miss that this protagonist is from Kanto. I wonder where in the timeline this falls compared to Red/Blue. Is there even a set Pokemon timeline?

drat right I am! You could limit me to just new Alolan Pokemon and Alolan variants and I�d probably be content.

Still rather not have to use that goofy-rear end Alolan Persian if I have any choice.

That�s right! I want to hrry up and meet some too! We�re living in the Alola region now! The beautiful islands everyone wants to visit! I�m sure the Pokemon living in a place like this must be friendly, right? It might not be a bad idea to go out and see for yourself just how friendly Pokemon here are.

Go out. By myself. To see how �friendly� the local wild Pokemon are.

Mother of the year right here folks!

Right, Truthkeeper? Go and get ready for a bit of exploring! Your Bag and hat and things should be hanging on the coat stand in your room. And didn�t you leave a copy of Adventure Rules on your desk too?

Yeah, I�ve been playing this series for decades, but I might have forgotten how menus work.

Another bit of showing off from the animators (and an uncomfortably lingering pause on my 11 year old rear end that I don't think was in Sun/Moon) as I put on hat and bag. The hat is also different from the hat you started with in the originals.

Now you look ready for anything! Oh, but even so, Truthkeeper� Try to be careful walking through the tall grass.

You literally just told me to go out and meet the wild Pokemon. Where do you think they live, if not in tall grass?

Still, I have to admit that I�d love to have a new Pokemon around� Why don�t you head up toward Iki Town and see what you discover in Alola?

Here that Meowth? She�s gearing up to replace you with one of those Alolan Meowths.

You said it. Though I�d trade it in a heartbeat for a Galarian Meowth.

No Mew hidden under the truck. Gotta check, just in case.

Wait, so I own the house? This raises questions. Or maybe Truthkeeper is my last name and nobody is polite enough to ask what my first name is.

There are tutorial peeps scattered around, but of course, the important place to go is the dreaded TALL GRASS.

But I can�t go in this tall grass, because this kid is playing with his dog.

And I can�t go down this street.

Broken bridges are a staple of Pokemon, but it feels like the developers were especially lazy about it with this gen.

You can enjoy a Festival with people from around the world without taking a step. Every day is a festival when you can do that!

I don�t care for the festival plaza, it�s a stupid and unnecessary gimmick that makes me angry every time I�m forced to do it�s tutorial. On the other hand, Poke Pelago was great.

TALL GRASS. The non-trainer�s most dangerous adversary. You�d think they would keep this stuff trimmed back so non-trainers could safely travel.

I kid, of course. Nobody cares about non-trainers.

Mom, you�ve gotten me killed by an angry weasel. Just like the old gypsy woman said.

This sequence is actually really well done and is a good example of what the new engine can do compared to its predecessors, compared to all the earlier meaningless showing off.

But yeah, Truthkeeper gon� die. Unless�

I was too slow on the draw to catch shots of them running in. But behold! Starters have arrived to save me! This vicious weasel will be fought off by�

A fat owl!

A kitten!

And a seal dressed like a clown!

Look, they can�t all be Gen 4 starters. At least two of them are cool by the time they fully evolve.

And then brave Sir Yungoos ran away.

This is the colloquial friendly greeting �cousin� Lilo and Stitch assured me is used constantly by Hawaiians, Kukui is not actually a member of the powerful Truthkeeper clan.

Yes, you personally Skyped me a few months ago and asked for a picture and some personal information, I�m not sure I should be around you, especially when you�re not wearing a shirt.

Had some help from the starters, whereas the adult here did gently caress all.

Looks like you did! Though I sure didn�t expect that, yeah� I didn�t think these little fellows would dash out on their own to help save a stranger! But I guess I�m getting ahead of myself. Welcome to Alola, the Pokemon paradise, that�s what I�m supposed to be saying. I�m Kukui, yeah. The Pokemon Professor.

Is this where you ask if I�m a boy or a girl?

Don�t you ever forget� You can go anywhere, yeah, as long as you�ve got Pokemon in your corner!

As long as you�ve done whatever meaningless bullshit the plot requires for me to go somewhere, you mean.

Wild Pokemon could be lurking in the tall grass, yeah, just waiting to leap out and bite you, but you�ll be fine if you�ve got a partner of your own! Hey there! Here, let me introduce the Pokemon that helped you just now.

This is the Grass-type Pokemon, Rowlet.

This is the Fire-type Pokemon, Litten.

This is the Water-type Pokemon, Popplio

Y�see, the fact of the matter is� one of these Pokemon will become your first partner, woo!

Or maybe the animals are just better people than you and didn�t want to watch a little girl get savaged by a weasel with teeth the size of swords?

And these are our choices of starters. Despite my joking, they�re all perfectly decent and will make a good showing throughout the game. Which is why I�m leaving this choice up to you, the home viewing audience.

What should my starter be, and what should it be called?

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Aug 28, 2020

# ¿ Jun 20, 2020 09:46

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

JohnCompany posted:

How are you going to handle calls for help in your first encounters? E.g. if you run into a Corsola are you stuck with that Corsola or can you try to get it to call a Mareanie and catch that?

I'm treating them the same as double battles in earlier gens, any Pokemon that show up in that battle are fair game. Knowing my luck it will never come up, I always had terrible luck in Sun getting the rare SOS slots to appear, or anything with hidden abilities.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2020 21:15

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

jaydee864 posted:

N'thing this.

Are you going to be using the no duplicate cause for catching (i.e., you can only attempt to catch the first wild Pokemon you encounter each route that you don't already own)? I don't know what the wild Pokemon distribution on these routes is like, there might already not be enough overlap for the clause to matter.

It's a very relevant question, there is a shitwack of overlap, especially in water. Duplicates will not count as the only one I'm allowed to catch unless I choose to catch one, in which case that's still my catch for that area. The dupes clause doesn't usually extend to entire evolutionary lines, but I'm counting them, again for the sake of sanity.

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Jun 21, 2020

# ¿ Jun 21, 2020 04:33

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Alright, we seem to have finally broken the Litten-Popplio tie (sorry Rowlet, I still love you), and I'll be taking Litten named Meowcho Man as my starter! Here's hoping I manage to catch a grass or electric type before the water trial or else I'm gonna need so much grinding to avoid getting wrecked. I'll try and get an update up in the next couple days, where we'll see my early recruits (a Pichu on route 1 is probably way too much to hope for).

For reference, locations I can catch Pokemon prior to the first trial at Verdant Cavern:

Hau'oli Outskirts
Route 1
Trainers School
Hau'oli City Shopping District
Route 2
Hau'oli Cemetary
Berry Farm (only chance here is a Crabrawler from the berry tree)

That's plenty of chances for new 'mons, so at least I'll have a full team going in.

I also see that there's a new beach area here that wasn't in Sun/Moon, I assume this is the location of the surfing minigame I've heard legends about.

Black Robe posted:

Absolutely this. Never not take the goofy wrestletiger. Rowlet is a very good birb, but he's no wrestletiger. And we just don't talk about Popplio... the thing is a perfectly good Pokemon to use, but I hate its poor dumb face.

This is why I held out hope Litten would win out. Popplio and it's evolutions are great, if it was a matter of mechanics I'd take it every time over Litten, especially one bred with its hidden ability... it just looks so silly (who am I kidding, they're all silly as gently caress). But Rowlet will always be my favorite.

Black Robe posted:

Also your revive rule is going to end up not mattering in the slightest, your friends will bury you in the drat things.

I ended up getting like a dozen of the things thrown at me in Sun. It's why I limited it to only being allowed to be used at a Pokemon Center, it needed some kind of limit or else it would completely destroy the challenge.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2020 09:37

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

I Wanna be a Meowcho Man

Behold your chosen champion!

I have no snide comments, this is honestly adorable, it�s exactly the sort of thing I want the animators doing now that we have 3D display instead of sprites.

The thread has spoken, your name shall be Meowcho Man! I suppose I would have had to choose something else if it had been female, but that doesn�t often happen on starters.

Now that you can have Pokemon battles, you�re what we call a Pokemon trainer! Here�s a Pokeball for Litten, too. It should feel nice and cozy in there. All right! Then let�s get going to Iki Town, Truthkeeper. Woo!

I was a little confused my first playthrough of Sun about what the hell a Kahuna was supposed to be, and I was kind of annoyed that they�d scrapped the established structure of beating gym leaders, but I�ve come to like it a lot since then.

Truth is, that partner Litten of yours is a gift from the kahuna, not me. So let�s go show it off and say a proper thank you, cousin. It may not be the only gift you get. In case you hadn�t heard, the kahunas are all crazy-strong Pokemon trainers. Be careful about getting into a battle with one.

I don�t think I want to. The existing scientific literature suggests that Pokemon are happier outside their Pokeballs, read Professor Elm�s study on the subject and you�ll see� yeah he doesn�t care. Fine, in the ball you go Meowcho Man. We�re off to Iki town.

Pokemon you run into before getting Pokeballs don�t count, or else I�d be stuck with Alolan Rattata here. I�ll still probably get stuck with one eventually.

A captain�s barricade, preventing me from progressing until I beat the captain. It�s a dumb concept and I don�t like it.

Speaking of dumb things I don�t like�

Which Pokemon are you gonna choose as your partner? Have you decided? Oh yeah, I�m Hau.

Hau is not a bad guy, but he is a very annoying character and sucks as a rival. I�ve heard Ultra Sun/Moon�s story updates resolved a lot of the issues with Lusamine being a lovely villain, but I�m guessing Hau is as annoying as ever.

Still, there are worse things in life then annoying rivals.

I couldn�t wait for us to pick our partners together, so I came to find you myself!

Whoa! Your Litten is so cool! Hey wait! You already picked your Pokemon?

We had a little accident on the way here, so I ended up letting Truthkeeper choose her partner first without you.

Fair enough. I guess it was just fate for you guys to meet!

Hau started the odd pattern of rivals not picking the starter that beats your starter. It kind of makes sense, he�s the platonic ideal of chill, as opposed to a seething pile of �I�m not a loser, you�re the loser! Smell ya later!� like Blue.

Alola, friend! I�d decided ages ago that you�re the one I wanted to have an adventure with!

If he�d picked Popplio I�d be calling bullshit, but I can believe it. Especially since it�s Rowlet, and I think the poor neglected owl is awesome.

We�re gonna do so much awesome stuff together! Just you wait and see! Professor! You�ll take good care of Popplio, right?

I have more gripes about this, but I�m going to put in pin in it right now, but I�ll be coming back to this later.

gently caress you, maybe I want to pull an Ash and have my starter ride on my shoulder!

Nah, that would get uncomfortable quickly once it started evolving.

Be our opponents in our first ever Pokemon battle together!

Yes, I too enjoy watching outmatched Pokemon get destroyed by their elemental superiors. I love that starters actually start with STAB moves nowadays, but it makes these matches against rivals with starters weak to your own really sad. At least Hop had a Wooloo after I smacked down his Sobble.

So annoyingly chill.

Lest you think I have nothing but complaints, I love the amount of detail put into these battle backgrounds, it actually does make you feel like the battlefield is the same place you were just standing in. It gives me hope that someday we�ll have full open-world battles with no transitions to a battlefield, just sudden switch to Smash Brothers style controls and beat the hell out of your opponent.

Credit where it�s due, it took two Embers to down Rowlet.

Yes. Feel the hate flow through you.

Whoa! That was awesome, Truthkeeper! You and LItten were both so cool! You and your partner Pokemon , too, you know? You�ve gotta have the kinda battles where everyone has fun!

This seems like a great attitude, except Hau applies it even in situations where he isn�t supposed to be having fun, like being accosted by random thugs and getting the crap kicked out of him. He�s kind of an idiot.

Right on, Turthkeeper! You and Hau both brought out the best in your partners and pulled off some spectacular moves, yeah!

I used Ember twice, he used Tackle once. What definition of �spectacular� are you using Kukui?

Iki Town is right up those stairs! Come on, Truthkeeper!

You should totally check out Iki Town!

It�s five houses and a cockfighting ring. Not much to check out.

Spent some time mauling the local fauna until Meowcho Man leveled again. Experience is much easier to come by in this gen compared to earlier generations, despite curving down when you outlevel your opponent.

More showing off from the devs.

And we�re here! This right here is Iki Town!

Yes. I know. You just told me it was at the top of the stairs.

Tapu Koko keeps us all safe and happy, see!

As far as I can tell, it does nothing of the sort. It sits in a cave waiting for high level trainers to come and kick its rear end and occasionally saves idiots if it feels like it.

I guess there must be some trouble somewhere on the island that needs fixing, yeah? Looks like the kahuna�s nowhere to be found, though�

Yeah, the kahuna wandered off without a word to anybody, singing a little ditty or something.

Normally when somebody starts going out of their way to name or pronoun a person like this, it�s because they�re trying to trick you, like hiding Sypha�s gender in Castlevania. In this case, they�re trying to set you up to believe that Lillie might be the kahuna when you meet her next scene� except nobody would ever be stupid enough to believe that. This is entirely pointless.

I�m gonna go stop by home for a sec. I�ve gotta show my mom Rowlet!

Kid, you�re a Pokemon trainer now. You don�t have a home anymore. Your mom is already turning your room into a gym.

Hey, I�ve got an idea for you, Truthkeeper. If you head through the village and up the hill, you can visit the ruins that belong to Tapu Koko. That�s our island�s guardian deity, yeah. Why don�t you go and introduce yourself?

Yes. �Lucky�.

I�ll stick around here and wait to see if the kahuna comes back.

Yes yes, here are the rails, I shall follow them.

Nice work on the lighting here.

Again, it only seems to show up to help people in danger or fight high level trainers, and only if it feels like it. Everybody hoping I meet it is an rear end in a top hat.

Oh, hello there person I could never possibly have seen before. What brings you here?

So please stay in the bag. We could get in trouble if anyone sees you.

This is another one of those story beats that was never adequately explained in Sun, I wonder if Ultra will bother to explain why Nebby cares so drat much about the Tapu ruins when it�s only explicitly connected to the Sun/Moon ruins.

And then Nebby took off on its own, because it�s an idiot. This thing is basically anime Togepi in terms of its ability to do stupid poo poo for the sake of making plot happen.

And now it�s lunch.

Really doesn�t seem like any of my business, but she�s kind of in my way.

If I have one complaint about the art in this game? This is my only facial expression. Ever. It�s actually really creepy.

Could you move please?

You have to help it! Please! Save Nebby!

Those Spearow are attacking it! But� I�m not a Trainer. I can�t� Please! Please save Nebby! I�ll heal your Pokemon for you, so�

Okay, back to my earlier complaint. There were three starters, obviously. I got one, Hau got one, Kukui kept the third.

He should have loving given it to Lillie. That girl desperately needs a confidence boost and training Pokemon is a good way to do that. She didn�t have to do the island challenge, although that would have been cool, but it would have saved a good half-dozen repetitions of �I�m not a trainer, I can�t do anything!� And maybe she would have figured out what the hell evolution is by the time Nebby evolved into Cosmoem and freaked her out.

Ah well, time to fight a birb. Luckily, Ash taught me exactly how to handle Spearow. COME AND GET ME!

Anybody up for roast squab?

Please� please help Nebby if you can!

Nah, I think I�ve done everything I can here.

But be careful� it looks like that attack may have damaged the Plank Bridge, too�

Yeah, I guess throwing fire at old dry wood will do that.

There were three Spearow, I murdered one, there are still three. What the hell?

Apparently fighting the others would be too hard and I�m just moving in. I did not endorse this plan.

.

Seriously, I have a living flamethrower attached to my belt, or in my pocket, or wherever the hell I�m keeping it. Why is it even back in the ball? Kukui, I blame you for this!

THIS IS NOT HELPFUL, NEBBY!

And then there�s THIS rear end in a top hat.

Guardian deity indeed.

Seriously though, thanks for the save.

Okay, I lied before, I also have this expression.

And then he was gone.

You tried using your power again� didn�t you? Oh Nebby� You know what happened last time you used it. You couldn�t move for ages after that. I don�t want to see you like that again!

Not being able to move seems preferable to being eaten by Spearow.

No� I shouldn�t say that. I�m sorry, Nebby� I know you were trying to save me that time�

Looked to me like it was saving itself, you were just along for the ride.

And I couldn�t even help you in return�

You know, aside from being the person who got it out of the lab and close enough to the surface to make an escape attempt possible?

Please forgive me�

The payoff to all that bullshit of hiding the kahuna�s identity before. Nobody would ever actually think to ask this question, especially since Lillie already clearly explained she isn�t a trainer.

I�m� I�m Lillie. And I suppose� this stone must belong to you.

Does now. YOINK!

Please� Don�t tell anyone about this� About seeing Nebby� It�s� it�s a secret, OK?

Who would believe me?

Come on. Into the bag, Nebby.

Seriously kid, they�re called Pokeballs, they cost about as much as a bottle of soda.

Um� I�m worried we might get attacked again by some wild Pokemon or� or something. I know it�s too much for me to ask it, but� Do you think you could see us back to town?

I saw Tapu Koko, the bridge is wrecked, I�m done here, I�m literally going back to town anyway.

And then she went on her own anyway.

Next time, the kahuna, the tutorial, and sweet sweet balls.

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Jun 23, 2020

# ¿ Jun 23, 2020 00:35

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Blaziken386 posted:

He didn't start the pattern - Bianca did back in Gen 5.

Bianca doesn't count, Gen 5 had two rivals, Cheren had the starter that beat the player's.

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 10:06 on Jun 23, 2020

# ¿ Jun 23, 2020 08:59

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Blaziken386 posted:

so does this game - even if it takes a bit for him to show up & evolve his pokemon, Gladion's pokemon changes type depending on your starter.

Unless his team is built completely differently in Ultra, Gladion always has the same team, just the memory his Silvally holds, and by extension its type, is different based on your starter.

And Gladion doesn't count as a rival anyway.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2020 09:39

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Now that it looks like SA isn't going to collapse around us, I should have a new update up in the next day or so.

dotchan posted:

If somebody gave Lillie a Pokedex, she'd be able to grok that Nebby is in (or not in) the bag purely out of its own discretion, because that thing weighs far too much for her to carry (unless she's secretly super strong or something).

How do you figure? It weighs 0.2 pounds.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2020 21:22

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

SimplyUnknown1 posted:

They're not talking about this form. The evolved form is 2204.4 lbs.

I don't remember Nebby ever pulling the sneaking out of the bag trick again after it evolved, though I accept the possibility of that being one of the things that changed in Ultra in which case it's my own drat fault I spoiled myself.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2020 22:30

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Press Down+B to Choke Professor Kukui

Lillie waited at the top of the hill these past couple weeks waiting for me to be certain SA would still be here for me to post updates on. I guess walking down the hill completely devoid of any wild Pokemon would have been far too difficult for her.

From there we popped back to Iki Town.

Oh! Truthkeeper! You already met Lillie, huh? She�s my assistant, yeah!

Kukui�s speech patterns really bug me. It�s like somebody made Naruto a Pokemon prof.

Lillie, I thought you were with the Kahuna?

Kahuna Hala? He said that he had something to attend to, so he left town on his own. I was just, um, taking a little stroll up Mahalo Trail while I waited for him to return.

Surfing movies have taught me that �mahalo� is a Hawaiian term for wishing somebody good luck. This game is the closest we�ve gotten to the series realizing that it�s weird that all these different regions speak the same language.

And that�s how you met our new neighbor Truthkeeper, huh? She just got to Alola yesterday. Help her find her way around, yeah?

You could just give me a town map. Was good enough for Red.

So� you�re also one of the professor�s acquaintances? It�s nice to meet you.

Wow. Gym Leaders never get this kind of respect.

There you are, Kahuna Hala! Was there some kind of trouble?

Ahaha! Just got caught up in the middle of some brawling Rockruff, that�s all. Sorry Lillie, what were you saying before? For some reason, I thought I saw Tapu Koko flying about�

It�s kind of rude to ask Lillie to continue your conversation from earlier and then immediately bring up a different subject.

Oh, um� Yes, Kahuna Hala� Nebby got attacked by some Spearow on the Plank Bridge.

She keeps calling it that, with the capital letters, like it�s officially named �Plank Bridge�.

And Truthkeeper here helped protect it. But the bridge collapsed, and I thought both of them might fall to the bottom of the ravine� And that was when the island�s guardian deity swooped in to save them!

Woo! That�s something you don�t hear every day!

Ho! Although it is said to protect us, our Tapu Koko is a rather fickle creature. Yet our guardian was moved to save you. Kukui, my boy, I think we have cause to celebrate!

Yay, the ten year old didn�t fall to her death! Let�s have a party!

Looks like we have a brave and kind new Pokemon Trainer in our midst! I�m glad to meet you, child. I am Hala, the kahuna of Melemele Island. Welcome to Alola! Young Kukui told me of your coming. I�m glad we got the chance to meet today.

Oh! When did you get out again? I know that Kahuna Hala and the professor will keep you safe from any harm, but you should still stay in the bag and stay out of sight. It�s safer that way. Nebby, well� It seems to have taken a liking to you. I-I have read that Pokemon like it when you pet them or take care of them, you know.

I think Manly Guys Doing Manly Things summed up my thoughts on this better than I can.

All right, here�s a lovely gift from me to help make today special, Truthkeeper!

Oh yay, a high-tech encyclopedia!

A Pokedex is a real high-tech kinda tool, yeah, that can automatically record facts about any Pokemon you meet. Your new partner Litten is already registered, oh yeah, so check it out!

ell, you got to meet the kahuna at least. Ready to head home now, Truthkeeper?

If you two can work in harmony, you can go anywhere together!

As long as you don�t want to go past a captain�s gate.

What is it Hau? Did you forget something?

You�re seriously asking me that?! Who�s the one who forgot to tell anyone before wandering off for a little stroll and a sing without a word, huh?

I know I joked about this before, but Hala is a grown rear end adult Hau, he doesn�t have to ask for your permission if he wants to walk off and play with wild dogs.

Hm? Truthkeeper� Would you be so kind as to give me a look at that Sparkling Stone you have there?

Whatever Hau wanted is clearly not important, let�s talk about my cool rock instead.

Still creepy.

Could it be?!

Tutu, isn�t that�

You were rescued by Tapu Koko at the bridge � isn�t that what I heard, Truthkeeper?

Yes, we literally just had that conversation. So sad when senility starts setting in.

But seriously, the point is that Tapu Koko dropped the cool rock for me.

So it even deigned to give you a stone� Perhaps you are here in Alola, Turhkeeper, because this is where you are meant to be.

No, I�m here in Alola because� I don�t think it�s been stated, I assume Mama Truthkeeper got a job here or something. I doubt she was hired by Tapu Koko.

Allow me to borrow this stone for now. Fret not! I�ll return it to you tomorrow evening. You have the makings of a brilliant trainer. I can see that light within you, too.

Yes, clearly my ability to beat up a Spearow was the stuff of legends.

You must do us the honor of joining in our festival tomorrow!

Fires I�ll make sure you get back home safe today, though, Truthkeeper. Lillie, you two should come with us, too, yeah.

Lillie is the one who needs the escort Prof.

Wouldn�t want you to go losing you twice in one day. You or that precious Pokemon of yours!

God drat it Nebby�

Oh, you! Would you not try to escape the very moment that you were told not to wander off!

If only we had some better means than a duffel bag for containing Pokemon. Perhaps some form of ball, one that holds a Pokemon�. but such things are merely the stuff of dreams. Now somebody help me shove this Wailord into my duffel bag

Meanwhile, back at the ranch�

Welcome back, Truthkeeper! So what did you think of Kahuna Hala?

I think he�s sundowning.

Oh! And look who you�ve got with you!

It came running out to help you? What a sweet little thing! And it saved you! That�s amazing. It must have been fate that you met! The two of you look great together� I feel happier just looking at the pair of you!

Happier knowing that you�re finally getting your 10 year old child out of the house for good, cursing them to a life as the nonlethal cockfighting equivalent of a murder hobo?

That�s right Meowth, behold the superior feline being! This is what you get for not being a Galarian Meowth.

MEOWCHO MAN HAS SPOKEN! We sacrifice the inferior cat at dawn!

Except, of course, this is Moon, so the day starts at sunset. Meowth has gotten a reprieve, for now.

Was that the doorbell? Go see who it is, Truthkeeper.

No need, Kukui just let himself in.

Hey there, Truthkeeper! It�s about time we set out for the festival, yeah!

Yeah, sure thing. Hey Mom, I�m going to a party with that strange shirtless older man who keeps hanging around me!

But first� I�ve got something to teach you, yeah, now that you�re a real Pokemon trainer.

No.

It�s the most basic of all the basics. Come on � to Route 1!

No no no.

Have fun at the festival sweetie! I�m sure you�ll have a good time with your new Pokemon pal! Me and Meowth will be sure to unpack every last box here � you�ll see!

Ah, so Meowth hopes to earn clemency through menial labor.

No! No! No!

Pretend you�re a Pokemon and use your Agility!

Pretend you�re you and go gently caress yourself!

I really hate the catching tutorial. So loving much.

So you know that wild Pokemon will sometimes jump out at you in the tall grass, yeah?

Really? Oh my God, I had no the grass was so dangerous! Quick, somebody get me all the Roundup in Alola!

Now that you�ve gotten Litten there, you can not only fight wild Pokemon, yeah� you can also try to catch �em. Woo!

Catch �em, you say? Would you say I should try to� catch �em all?

No. That would be terrible.

How about you look for wild Pokemon, and I�ll stab you in the kidneys and steal your Pokeballs?

Kukui uses his Rockruff for the tutorial, which is damned decent and looks cool after evolving.

And the tutorial finally ended, and there was much rejoicing.

All right! Got myself a Grubbin!

There�s been this weird tendency in the last few gens for the lovely bug Pokemon that you can find all over the early routes to actually be really good. Grubbin�s nothing special, but it�s decent after evolving to Charjabug, and Vikavolt is exceptional. It�s not my first choice for things to catch on route 1, especially given that Ultra Moon has significantly expanded the available options here, but if it�s what I get, I�ll take it without grumbling.

Still rather have a Munchlax or Pichu.

Wild Pokemon do sometimes attack people if they get close, but catch �em and they�ll join your team and be a great help to you, yeah! And if your Pokemon get all tuckered out, you can always head home and rest up a bit, yeah?

Nah, Mom probably turned my room into a gym or something.

Here�re some Poke Balls and Potions to get you started out.

This doesn�t make up for the tutorial.

Why don�t you have a little adventure of your own on the way to Iki Town, yeah?

Don�t patronize me.

Take good care of Truthkeeper, Litten!

Or my cat. And his name is Meowcho Man.

Alright then. Moment of truth. First patch of grass. There are better options down by Kukui�s lab, but I didn�t think of that in time, so I�m stuck with the first thing I meet here. Let�s go!

This is acceptable.

Meowcho Man�s fire is clearly too dangerous to risk using on the bug.

But Scratches were enough to bring it down and catch it.

Still would have liked a Pichu, but oh well.

And that�s two on the team!

Give me nicknames for our new lightning spitting bug!

# ¿ Jul 10, 2020 05:18

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Pokemon Fight! Ready? GO!

It really is a pretty great name, this is one reason why I like crowdsourcing nicknames.

If it�s left up to me I usually end up picking a random list of names to apply to every mon. I once named all my mons after Power Rangers, another time it was all names for the main character of Space Mutiny that Mike, Tom, and Crow came up with.

I�d complain about how useless it is, but it�s kind of nice to have a weak paralyzing move for capturing mons. Watch me forget to use it the next time I get to capture something.

The weird zoom-in on the first enemy trainer you run into is still weird.

Because I�m playing this on an emulator (I initially wanted to stream directly from the 3DS, including streaming my play on Twitch, but there were technical issues), the touch screen is handled with the mouse. It�s just a little awkward.

Who the gently caress came up with this rule, and can I get it stricken down if I get enough trainers to sign a petition?

Buneary is still really silly.

Still a better starter than a loving Caterpie. This kid got screwed.

Come back with a loving Heracross, scrub.

Okay, what the hell is this about?

I can turn�

It seems to like that.

I can turn the other way, it doesn�t seem to react the same way.

I can stare at it, it likes that.

I�m pretty sure Pokemon are supposed to be smarter than loving babies.

But what the hell do I know?

I went through a few different permutations of the various moves, nothing seems to happen. Maybe I�m missing something cool, maybe if I do it in the exact right order I get a free Rockruff? That would be cool. I�ll have to look it up at some point.

Yeah kid, I did that.

I like Alolan Rattata�s little moustache. I wish it kept it on evolving instead of switching to normal Raticate whiskers.

Eh? Who are these guys?

What do you think, Captain?

Those are some interesting outfits. These were the strangely dressed folks who showed up in the cutscene where Lillie was failing miserably and rescuing Cosmog from Aether Foundation, in place of the Aether goons who were in the cutscene originally. Still guessing that they�re supposed to be the Aether equivalent of other evil teams� executives. I know that they�re called the Ultra Recon Squad, so maybe they�re astronauts being sent to Ultra Space? Probably more qualified than ya boy Guzma, but probably not as fun.

Hm? What was what? Did you say something?

That is a rather spiffy mustache this guy has. Or is it part of his mask? It�s kind of hard to tell.

So there are aura readings in this place� Perhaps it may be the effects of that one they call the island kahuna.

So they�re not local either? I agree this game�s coloration is a little on the bright and cartoony side compared to the rest of the series, but loathsome is kind of pushing it. Maybe you should have set up shop in Galar.

Far brighter than we had been told it would be. I find it loathsome. This awful brightness.

Even though this is the light we have sought for so long?

Y-yes, I suppose you are right. We must carry out our investigations to return the light to our world as well. Before the Blinding One can awaken�

Okay, lot to unpack here. They�re from another world, presumably Ultra Space. And afraid of a Blinding One, an Ultra Beast? Or one of the box legendaries?

No, no I am not.

You seem to have come from far away�

Not as far away as you did, I think.

And then they just walk away. Not much for chatting I guess. Maybe my horrible unchanging rictus grin scared them off.

But enough of that, I was told there would be party!

gently caress yeah Alolan Exeggutor! This thing is absolutely absurd and I love it. Shame it�s going to be most of the game before I can catch one.

And each island has its own guardian Pokemon. Our festival today held to express our thanks to these great Pokemon guardian deities for always remaining by our sides.

Even though you personally described them as fickle and were shocked to hear Koko saved a kid from a horrible death.

Well, we may call it a festival, but it�s just this little thing you see here. There may not be many of us, but at least every last one of us goes all out.

Yeah, why is that? We�re right down the road from Hau�oli City, you�d think the island kahuna could get more people to attend a party than this.

See? Hau doesn�t have to keep his starter in a ball! I demand the right to keep my starter out, or even my whole drat team!

Sorry, I was interrupted by aliens.

Explain what? It�s a party, they don�t usually require explanations.

Kukui you shirtless son of a bitch, did you force me into something under false pretenses?

But to what exactly?

I�d say she doesn�t have to take it everywhere with her, but Nebbie�s clearly too loving stupid to be left unsupervised.

We battle in the name of Tapu Koko, pitting our best moves against one another in friendly competition to please our guardian. Woo!

You� I� yeah, should have expected that. Everything in this loving world revolves around Pokemon battling. He should have told me that�s why he wanted me to come here, I don�t mind trouncing motherfuckers in the ring, just tell me first. My mons got all beaten up schooling preschoolers on the way here.

Also, not sure I�m comfortable with our legalized cockfighting being elevated to a religious event. Will we be dropping Magikarp into a volcano to please our guardian next?

Actually, if I could get a badass fire-type Gyarados from it, I�d be first in line.

So you two will be taking part in the battle? I don�t like seeing Pokemon fight one another, since they so often end up getting hurt. But� I�ll be sure to watch you both.

Lillie is clearly meant to be wrong and bad, she�s supposed to enjoy the bloodsport our entire civilization is based around like everybody else does.

Allow me to heal them for you this time.

Cool, thanks a bunch. Not my fault you were to cheap to spring for a Pokemon Center in Iki Town.

As with so many choices, this is no choice at all, I can�t proceed without battling. But thou must, and all that jazz.

Then let�s begin!

As annoying as I sometimes find Hau, his total casual attitude is refreshing sometimes. Sometimes.

That�s right peasants, I met your god in person! I am his prophet and my words come directly from him! I have some commandments I need to lay down, starting with proper distribution of Master Balls�

For all this talk about �guardian deities�, these people seem to regard Tapu Koko as more of an entertaining sideshow attraction they never get to see.

Whenever anybody refers to one of your Pokemon, it�s always the one in the first slot. Because the low level bug I�m power leveling is obviously my primary mon.

Yeah, there�s absolutely zero stakes here, this is the literal definition of a casual battle. It sure is a good thing you would never have this attitude during more serious situations, otherwise you might be an annoying character I dislike.

Holy poo poo she closed her eyes! Still didn�t stop smiling, but the effect is less creepy like this.

The following 8 rounds are an embarrassing display as I get paralyzed by Static and repeatedly get my attack lowered while Pichu forgets it knows Thundershock.

I eventually was forced to switch out.

And then I barbecued a baby mouse and an owlet.

I actually really like the Refresh system, it makes logical sense that you would want to provide some aftercare to your mons after a strenuous battle.

And being able to heal them of status conditions is convenient.

Also beans. Stuff them full of beans. Beans for the bean god.

Yeah, did you see the way she wasted that loving baby, and then followed it up by exploiting a type advantage?

I was mistaken before. Clearly Tapu Koko wants us to drop Pichus into the volcano.

I�m going heavier than normal with the images here, but I really need to express how much I love the effort they put into the� not camerawork exactly, but you get my point. It�s not just a static overhead view or shot/reverse shot anymore.

It was a good battle. With this, even Tapu Koko�

It really wasn�t that special of a battle. Either Tapu Koko really does like me pasting Pichu or else this actually is a sign that I am the one true prophet.

Oh, I nearly forgot! I think it is time you take this, Truthkeeper.

I actually really like Z-moves, though I don�t think they�re as cool as Mega-Evolution or Dynamaxing. The stupid posing will never stop bothering me though.

Actually, is there any reason you couldn�t combine a Mega Ring, Z-Power Ring, and Dynamax Band and use all three at once?

Your Z-Power Ring, a mysterious armband that can draw out the power that lies deep in within Pokemon� It can bring forth their Z-Power! We kahunas can make Z-Power Rings using stones like the Sparkling Stone that you received from Tapu Koko.

Given how surprised he was that I met Tapu Koko, compared to how common Z-Power Rings are, I�m guessing most people don�t get their stones directly from the guardians.

Though you will need to undergo the island challenge and collect Z-Crystals for yourself, if you wish to draw forth Pokemon�s Z-Power! And yet, you have already received that Sparkling Stone� It seems Tapu Koko took quite a liking to you� or perhaps it has a mission for you.

As long as I don�t have to build an ark and gather two of every breedable Pokemon.

Well, it�s time for you to get out there and start your island challenge!

Four islands! You�ll travel to each of the four islands here in the Alola region. The island challenge is about aiming to be the strongest Trainer- the island challenge champion. Woo!

Oh, so it�s just like the Pokemon League challen- NO, SHUT UP, IT�S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, ALOLA DOESN�T HAVE A LEAGUE YET!

Actually, come to think of it, nothing about the island challenge has anything to do with proving you�re the strongest. You only ever fight the totems and kahunas, it�s not like everybody who passes the four grand trials competes to see who�s actually strongest. And you can�t even technically finish it right now, since the last island doesn�t have a kahuna. I can kind of see why Kukui decided they needed their own League, this island challenge is kind of a kludge.

Sounds great, right? I can�t wait to have a real adventure!

But I�ll let Kahuna Hala explain the details.

The island challenge Kukui spoke of� It is a journey to overcome your own limitations as you travel the far corners of Alola and meet with others along the path. It is the great adventure that children in the Alola region embark upon, along with their Pokemon, once they reach 11 years of age.

Yeah, like I said, just like the League- NO, I SAID IT�S DIFFERENT!

Allow me to give you both the island challenge amulets you will need.

Awesome! Thanks, Tutu! I�m gonna make it through the island challenge to try to become an island challenge champion!

There is one for you as well, Truthkeeper. Please do give the island challenge a try.

I don�t think I have a choice. Mom probably already has plans to turn my room into a grow-op.

Amulet GET.

Yeah, because you aren�t allowed to travel to most of Alola if you don�t do it. Your rear end in a top hat captains keep blocking off the roads.

And then the festival was over.

Tapu Koko is amazing, isn�t it? I hope I can meet it again some day and thank it for saving Nebby�

Have you tried praying? Everybody keeps telling us it�s a deity.

I want to meet it again for� less polite reasons. Static Pokemon encounters like Legendaries are fair game for catching.

It saved you as well, didn�t it? And left you with that Sparkling Stone� even though you�re a stranger to this place.

Nebby� Alola is full of all kinds of wonders, isn�t it?

Oh hey, they were also here. They blend in with the local populace so seamlessly. Considering how many clothing stores there are in Alola, you�d think they�d make an effort at least. Maybe they need the suits for life support reasons or something. The masks might be to protect them from the sun, Mustache was complaining about how bright it was before.

I was able to detect high levels of aura at this full-powered festival.

I suppose you would� According to our earlier research it seems that the Z-Power Ring and this Tapu Koko creature are bathed in a great deal of light.

I� don�t think light works that way?

Alola overflows with the light that was released by the Blinding One� I find myself rather envious.

Really? Because you were just talking about how loathsome it was before the festival.

I wonder if we can�t find some way to use the great power that fills Alola for ourselves...

That is what we, the Ultra Recon Squad, are here to make clear. Onward! There is still so much of Alola we have not seen, and we must investigate it all!

Why is Alola so special? Have you even been to Kalos? Or Johto? I feel like you�d enjoy Johto.

But that�s enough of the aliens for now.

I just walked in, and Papa Truthkeeper isn�t here, so Mom is talking to� the Meowth? Is she having an affair with the cat?

You�re back already? I thought you�d want to stay in Iki Town longer... Especially right after that great Pok�mon battle! Ooh, I was just captivated to see my own girl fighting in such perfect sync with her partner! Maybe it would be a good idea for you to try that island challenge thing... It�s something you can only do in Alola, right? But right now I�ve got a date with my bed. I danced my feet off at that festival! Night-night, sweetie. You get some sleep, too!

And so another day ended.

No new Pokemon this time, but something fun next time for sure (I know because I took advantage of the delay between updates to get a few updates worth of playing in the can).

# ¿ Aug 2, 2020 08:34

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

SirSamVimes posted:

If I remember correctly, Barry tended to actually be pretty tough which made the whole "friendly competition" aspect actually jive. Hau has the friendly, but lacks the competition.

This does feel like the most important aspect of a good Pokemon rival. I can put up with a lot of poo poo from a rival that provides a decent challenge at several points in the game.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2020 00:29

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Yeah, that was the great thing about the friend group in X/Y, they represented a group of people with diverse interests in Pokemon, rather than being all of them being obsessed with battling. We don't get a lot of tose. I feel like Lillie could have been a great example of a trainer who has concerns outside of battle, but nope!

# ¿ Aug 6, 2020 10:10

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Please Stop Helping Me

There�s a lot of impressive graphical work in this game (by the standards of what I expected from Pokemon at this point at least), but there�s also a lot of lazy reuse of assets.

I wonder what today will bring me?

Apparently it brought her the doorbell.

A visitor! If it�s Kukui, he�ll probably let himself in without even waiting for us to open the door!

Even Momkeeper agrees with me that Kukui is an rear end in a top hat. Who does that with people they just met?

But it was Lillie, who certainly isn�t rude enough to go barging into somebody�s house uninvited the day after meeting them.

Oh. Um� The professor said�

I wish this game had voice acting solely for the sake of wanting to hear her Kukui impression.

A fully voice acted Pokemon game would be cool. I�ll put it on my wishlist after real time battles (I don�t need 3D, I�d settle for 2D fighter, something like Smash Brothers).

So I�m here to show you the way to his Pokemon lab, if you�ll come with me. It�s, um� It�s this way.

It�s literally down the road, I can probably see it from here.

Truthkeeper! Here. A little pocket money for you. Don�t go wasting it on anything too silly.

It�s more money than any previous game let you start with, and you�re fully intended to spend it on clothes. Clothes get loving expensive in this game.

And what a cute friend you�ve found! I knew Alola would be a great place for us. We just keep meeting wonderful people here!

�Wonderful� is a bit of a stretch. And you don�t know anything about Lillie to say that she�s wonderful, she could be an rear end in a top hat for all you know.

My name is Lillie. It�s very nice to meet you.

Looks like it�s finally you�re time to shine, sweetie! Enjoy yourself out there with Grubbin. And don�t be gone too long!

And Truthkeeper�s mother was never seen again, like the mothers of protagonists past. Unless I need to stop for healing before I�m allowed to go to the Pokemon center. Which is right next door, and yet I�m not allowed to go there yet.

You� have a very nice mother, don�t you?

Lillie, I think your own mother sets kind of a low bar for �very nice�.

We should get going. I�ll show you to the Pokemon Research Lab.

He says he can research moves better when he is so surrounded by Pokemon.

Yes, I�m sure being surrounded by low level Pokemon has made him an expert on Tackle and Water Gun.

Since I�m not a trainer though, I have to rely on using Repels all the time.

Lillie really is kind of a demonstration of the level of hell it would be to live in this world and not be a trainer.

You do know that using Repel keeps Pokemon from attacking, right? A-and about Nebby� Oh. I mean� Cosmog.

Weird non-sequitor. And I think you mean Nebby, that�s the name I know it by, I think this is the first time you�ve told me it�s properly called Cosmog.

Cosmog seems to be a very rare Pokemon. It came from far, far away.

Pew!

It seems to have a very strange power. It used that power to save me once when I was in danger. But some� other people want Cosmog for themselves, to use that power. Can you keep a secret? Can you not tell anyone else about Nebby or about what happened on that bridge? Please�

Being fair to Lillie, Nebby was saving itself just as much as it saved her.

Oh, Truthkeeper? Do you want to know something neat? You can reach the Pokemon Research Lab without having to go through any patches of tall grass if you jump down from this ledge.

If you�d like to take a shortcut, I suggest you try it too.

Okay, seriously, can we stop with the conversational whiplash?

I�ll be heading to the lab now, so see you there!

Aren�t you supposed to be guiding me there?

Well, gently caress her, I�ll get there when I get there. But I�m lonely and homesick, so I�m gonna head home first.

Okay, not lonely anymore!

So, here�s the funny thing. The path from Truthkeeper�s House to Iki Town? That�s Route 1. The path from the house to Kukui�s lab? Also route 1. But it�s Route 1 Hau�oli Outskirts.

I�m calling it a separate route for the purposes of the Nuzlocke, and I�m the only arbiter that matters. Time to go catch something!

But only after I wrecked this kid�s Inkay. I�m not here to kink shame.

_{But Inkay doesn�t have knees�}

And then into the grass�

I�m pretty okay with this. Not my first choice, but at least it isn�t a loving Wingull.

It took some doing. Low level Slowpoke isn�t very strong, but it�s very good at buffing itself, and I�m trying to keep it alive to catch.

Slowpoke GET!

I�ve never really cared for the Slowpoke line. There�s nothing objectively wrong with it, I just don�t like it.

It�s a good thing I�m not aiming for a complete Pokedex. Because emulators and trade-restricted evolutions don�t mix.

Naturally fall off, huh? Didn�t they die from having them cut off in Gold/Silver?

Okay kid, what do you have? A bird? A rat? A�

JESUS, PUT THAT THING AWAY!

Seriously, Yungoos is loving terrifying by lovely first route Pokemon standards.

And having that thing for your starter probably is a sign that you�re a loving psycho.

Kukui�s lab isn�t exactly as fancy as labs in generations past, although I suppose he has gone green with those solar panels. Why not just harvest electricity from a bunch of Pikachu?

And apparently he�s battling indoors. Even if he�s kind of annoying sometimes, it�s good to see a professor get his hands dirty and fight with the rest of us�

Phrasing. Are we still doing phrasing?

Ahh� There they go again� The Pokemon Research Lab has its own unique charm, as I think you might agree. I�ve actually been, um, imposing on the professor here for the past three months.

So Professor Half-Dressed has an underage girl living with him without her parents consent or knowledge. That might actually be several crimes even if I don�t read anything skeevy into it.

I�m not much of an assistant, but it�s the least I can do to pay him back for letting me stay. Maybe I�d be more help if I were a real Pokemon trainer, too�

Seriously, he has another starter. Go in, tell him you want to learn to be a trainer, and ask nicely for the circus clown seal. There�s no reason for you to spend any more time bitching about not being a trainer when you can literally become a trainer any time you want.

See, even the Professor�s dog agrees with me!

The professor� He never stops researching moves. Not even� inside the lab itself. Looks like we�ll have to patch the roof again� And I had just washed his lab coat and finally gotten it clean, too. Now it�ll be in shreds� and I�m no good at mending clothes� so he�ll just have to buy another new one�

She honestly sounds like she�s blaming herself for Kukui being an irresponsible jackass.

We should probably go in before he does any more damage�

Looks a lot better on the inside.

Hey there, Truthkeeper! Thanks for getting her for me, Lillie!

Of course. However I can be a help� I am supposed to be your assistant, right?

Rockruff�s moves were just so stylin�, and I was making good progress with my research.

Okay, seriously Kukui, what the gently caress do you even do? This isn�t Oak inventing the Pokedex, or Elm discovering that Pokemon gently caress, this is moves. Something that changes occasionally from generation to generation, but isn�t really such a big deal that it can be called an area of study. Is this a government thing? Did you get a government grant to play with your dog? Or to find every possible way to work an attack name into casual conversation?

Still wouldn�t be the stupidest thing about the Pokemon world government.

Say, Truthkeeper, lemme see your Pokedex for a second, yeah? So, what do you think of the place? Not bad, right?

I�d like to review it on Yelp. Is there a rating lower than 0 stars?

But that�s not why I called you here, eh? Here! it finally arrived!

Seriously, the conversational shifts leave something to be desired. I�m getting actual whiplash talking to these assholes!

�It��?

What�s wrong Lillie? Don�t make me do all the talking!

She clearly has no idea what you�re talking about. Unless you expect her to spontaneously start a completely different conversation.

Oh, I can tell you about Rotom. It is a peculiar Pokemon, with a body made up of something like electricity. It can take up residence in machines.

And so it begins�

Black Robe posted:

Next update we'll encounter the most infuriating part of the game for me. It's Rotom. I loving hate the Rotomdex. The stupid thing won't shut up. It's the Pokemon equivalent of Mr Clippy except you can't tell it to stop bugging you.

[quote="Blaziken386" post="505973689"]
oh god i detest that stupid thing

"Hey Rotom-A! Here's some more advice you didn't ask for! Did you know you can heal at pokemon centers??" shut up and let me see the map!! that's your only purpose!!!!!!

They�re harsh, but not entirely wrong. The Rotom Dex is really loving annoying, and it never loving shuts up. A constant, neverending stream of inane chatter that I can�t escape, it�s like having all the worst rivals rolled into one and stuck as your permanent traveling companion.

And now if I power up your Pokedex with the parts that I just got in�

Please don�t.

This is my chance! All I have to do is catch it before he can put it back in the Pokedex! Meowcho Man, burn the lab down as a distraction!

Rotom! Here, boy! I powered up your favorite �Dex! Give Truthkeeper here a Helping Hand, yeah?

Why the hell does it need to be able to fly?

In a general sense, I�m not against the idea of a talking Pokedex. I just hate this one in particular. It�s an electronic Navi, except it talks even more. Doesn�t pelt me with �Hey! Listen!� at least.

Check it out, Truthkeeper! Now Rotom can talk right to you!

Why? Why did you do this? I didn�t ask you to do it. What made you think anybody would want this?

It may take a little while to get used to its new job, but I�d say Rotom�s taken a liking to you!

And this will help how exactly?

Yes! Finally, Lillie talking sense!

Truthkeeper hasn�t been here in Alola too long yet. So I decided to give her this special Rotom Dex to help her navigate around.

You�ve never heard of a loving map?

I�m certainly not thanking him, but the poor annoying Rotom didn�t ask for this either, might as well be polite to it.

You can see where you�re headed just by looking at Rotom, and if you give it a little tap, you can even check the Town Map!

None of which required the thing to be able to talk.

And now Hau�s here.

The salty breeze sang to me and brought me here to you!

Without waiting for a response, he runs in and starts looking around Kukui�s living area.

Is that a loft? That�s awesome!

The professor has been kind enough to let me use it�

If you see a person or a Pokemon who needs help, you just help them. Right Truthkeeper? Hau?

Good attitude, but stop to consider that some people may not want your help.

And that�s why I�m letting Lillie stay up there in the loft.

I hope that means he crashes on the couch, or has another bed in the basement�

So, Truthkeeper! I�m leaving this Rotom Dex in your hands! Rotom, you look after Truthkeeper, yeah?

Are you sure? I think Hau would appreciate it way more than me.

So that�s the Rotom Dex, eh? It�s kinda cute.

Who in the what now?

To the Trainers� School! You gotta learn the basics of being a Pokemon trainer through Pokemon battling.

I beat up every child on Route 1, I think that fully qualifies me for Pokemon-based violence.

It�s a long road to becoming the island challenge champion, and the Trainers� School is the first step!

It really isn�t. It�s completely unnecessary.

What about you, Hau?

I�m good. I just want to play with my Pokemon!

Even Hau is being surprisingly sensible!

The island challenge� So this is how the people of Alola connect with the world around them. And then there�s the way that you and LItten both chose one another. And now with Rotom helping you out as well�

Unless I can rip it out of the Pokedex and send it into battle, it�s not loving helping.

Even Nebby likes you! I guess there�s something about you that makes Pokemon feel comfortable when they�re by your side.

Lillie! You take care of Truthkeeper, yeah?

You literally just told Rotom to take care of me. Unless you�re admitting it�s worthless?

Until she gets used to Rotom, help her find her way around!

Besides being annoying, it also looks really creepy. I mean, it is a ghost, but this is less spooky, more uncanny valley.

Yeah, but I haven�t been allowed to go there let because railroading.

Nebby� Don�t worry � it�s okay. This must be what they call a solar eclipse. It happens when the sun gets covered up.

No. That was very clearly thick dark clouds filling the sky, not the loving moon.

Was a solar eclipse forecast for today? Ah well, it must be some kind of good omen, yeah!

No, that�s stupid. You�re both stupid.

An omen? You think something good will happen?

Sure! A long, long time ago, Alola was cloaked in darkness, yeah... But people say that�s when Alola�s people and Pok�mon blasted all that darkness away with light! And they also say that was why people started gathering Z-Crystals, and that custom turned into the island challenge! Truthkeeper! Now that you�ve got that Z-Power Ring, I hope you�ll collect tons of Z-Crystals! Woo! That�s exactly what a move researcher like me needs to uncover new secrets!

So you want to study Z moves? What the hell do you do now then?

Still pretty sure he�s coming up with bad attack name puns on the government�s dime.

Next up we have the Trainers� School, which I think I�ll save for next time.

But hey, I caught a Slowpoke, I need names for my pink� lizard� otter� psychic water thing, so do your thing guys!

# ¿ Aug 28, 2020 07:56

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Blaziken386 posted:

Counterpoint: if he did, that would immediately qualify him for the title of "smartest professor in the entire series."

That's not exactly a high bar when Sycamore and Elm are well-respected.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2020 09:55

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

LiefKatano posted:

Rotom Dex was way more tolerable in the original Sun and Moon, imo. I could see some potential annoyance, sure, but its hints weren't aggravatingly common.

They cranked that up way too much for the Ultra games. I don't need your advice, Rotom, I need your map!

It talked too drat much even in the original. I'm somewhat concerned that you say it's even more annoying in Ultra.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2020 22:14

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

I Don�t Need No Education

I don�t necessarily disapprove of the Rotom chiming in after plot events like that. I just wish it did it less.

I don�t approve or disapprove of the map markers, so much as I disapprove of the need for them because of how badly this game micromanages your every step. Black/White and X/Y had issues with this too, but I feel like it�s worse here.

Is forced tutorials treating you not just like you�ve never played Pokemon but treating you like an idiot a form of micromanaging?

I like to relax there sometimes with a frosty glass of Moomoo Milk. I read something in a travel guide about Alola once� Apparently each Pokemon Center in Alola offers a different selection of drinks. I wonder how they pick what to serve

There�s a list of six drinks, each caf� offers three, and it�s an entirely aesthetic choice because the drink doesn�t do anything. You visit the caf� for something else.

The cafes may offer more than just drinks. I�ve heard they also sell special treats and that sometimes the staff have tips for trial-goers. We should head to the Trainers� School next. But have your Pokemon taken care of first if you think that they need a little aid.

Here in our caf� space, we provide a moment of peace to our customers. What can I get started for you today?

Got it! Then if you�ll just give me a moment� Here you are! One Lemonade just for you!

So how exactly do you make lemonade in a world with no lemons?

His story checks out.

You can connect with someone anytime and spend some time together. Don�t you think all the things you can do at Festival Plaza are miraculous?

�Miraculous�? Not the word I�d use. I�d go with �loving terrible� personally.

This is part of the reason you come here. The tea biscuits are the various Full Heal items from across the series, Casteliacones, Old Gateaus, Lava Cookies, and so on. The one you get varies based on what day it is.

Poke Beans are a specialty in Alola, and Pokemon love to eat them! Feed them to your Pokemon in Pokemon Refresh, and they�ll become more affectionate!

This is the other reason. Poke Beans are the new item for feeding Pokemon to increase their affection. They come in three varieties, of which you can only get the most basic from the caf�. The better ones come from a mechanic I actually sort of like, lest you get the idea that I�m making GBS threads on everything new this gen had.

The caf� is at least something we haven�t seen before, but I still feel like I could have figured it out for myself without the unnecessary tutorial.

But speaking of unnecessary tutorials (wait, haven�t I been doing that for 6 updates now?)�

It�s a� It�s a� a� What in the world?!

Meh, it�s a Tauros. Big deal.

Well, it looks like we won�t be going that way anytime soon, thanks to Tuaros there� But we were only planning to go as far as the Trainers� School anyway. We�ll just leave that for someone else to deal with. Come. Follow me.

gently caress you Lillie, you ain�t the boss of me! You�re not even a Pokemon Trainer, as far as I can tell that makes you some kind of second class citizen! I go where I want!

Get the gently caress out of the way Tauros!

�

It�s not going anywhere. Fine. Here are the rails, I shall follow them.

Still like the jaunty camera angles.

No, I assume you showed up while I was shouting at the Tauros. You want to go do something about that Prof?

But welcome to the Trainers� School, the place to learn how to be a Pokemon Trainer!

That a no then?

Yeah. Truthkeeper�s a real tough one, too. Put her through the wringer good, Teach!

Should probably get those fingers looked at by a doctor. Or maybe get a better modeler.

You�ve got to beat four Pokemon Trainers here at the school, Truthkeeper! The experience will surely help you and your Pokemon grow stronger, yeah.

Well, I guess that�s not so bad. I assume the teachers at a Pokemon school have to be reasonably decent. It�s not like they�d have be fight the loving kids, right?

Actually, speaking of experience, why don�t you take this.

There are people with OPINIONS about the Exp. Share and how it ruins the game and blah blah. Turn it off if you don�t like it, I don�t have an issue with it.

If you keep that Exp. Share on, yeah, all the Pokemon on your team can get Exp. Points from battle.

You may also want to visit our classrooms. You�ll learn things there that will help you on your journey, I�d say. All right! Let the lesson begin!

She may not look all that touch, but that teach trains her kids right! One of her students is even a captain! If you want a bit of advice from me, here�s something that might help. Once you�ve fought a species of Pokemon once, you can easily see what types of moves will work best on it in your next battle. Wandering about in the tall grass to meet lots of different Pokemon�ll help with that! Battle all the time, oh yeah!

This is another new feature I actually really like (It might have been X/Y that introduced it, I can�t remember now). I suck at remembering a lot of the type matchups, so this is really convenient for me.

Okay, time to go paste four trainers.

Well, no. Time to catch another Pokemon, since this is another new area. That red bit of fence is a gate, the camera swings around to show it better if I get close.

Stupid kids, dropping expensive healing items everywhere. Mine now!

Grimer, Alolan style. I would have been happier with a Magnemite, but at least it�s not the Meowth that shows up here most of the time.

Rotom feels the need to chatter every time I see a new Pokemon.

Bugzapper is a little outsized here, but he has an advantage in super-effective Mud Shot.

But after he got poisoned, I shrugged and sent in the big guns, Meowcho Man handled it from there.

Eventful battle.

Regular Grimer eat toxic waste, but there apparently isn�t any of that in Alola, so they taught Alolan Grimer to eat garbage. This somehow turned them green.

That�s another one we�ll need a name for. If you were paying attention, you probably noticed I forgot to nickname Slowpoke, I took care of that shortly after this. BrosefStalin (with no space) just barely fit.

Also, ha ha, it�s funny because they really are making me fight the loving kids. Am I a joke to these people?

This kid also has a Grimer, he�s here to teach me about status effects.

I taught him about type effectiveness, accuracy, and why you don�t use Harden on things hitting you with Special attacks.

Did you just catch yours too?

One of the odd, but not unwelcome changes from Gen 6, added some interesting flavor to some types.

I spent a little time grinding on wild �mons in the grass. Less than I should have, in retrospect.

Dibs!

This girl is here to teach you to heal your Pokemon if they take damage.

�

Getting really insulted here.

Like Poison, Rock is also weak to Ground.

Unlike the other kid�s Grimer, this thing makes me suffer for bringing it low.

And then when I switched out my critically injured bug, she pulls this poo poo. She did warn me, to be fair.

I guess when you spit lots of mud it tends to splash on you.

Or sometimes, anyway. It�s better than nothing!

It�s unreliable, but yes, it is better than literally nothing.

This kid is here to teach me about held berries. I teach her the same lesson about Harden as the last one.

Your bribe is sufficient, your bug may live.

Metapod is one of the Pokemon that can�t eat beans in Refresh, I guess berries can�t work that way though.

With those three defeated, I can take down this rear end in a top hat who stands in front of the school and won�t fight me until the other three are beaten.

He�s here to teach me about Abilities. By lowering my attack.

I�m still using Bugzapper and spamming Mud Shot. It�s not like I have any STAB moves yet anyway.

Basic type matchup kids. They trump drat near everything.

Brosef is getting up there, though he�s still only good at putting things to sleep on a delay, buffing himself, and hoping they stay asleep. It�s not a sound strategy.

Intimidate is an Ability that lowers your opponent�s Attack stat. If you understand your Pokemon�s Abilities, you can use the best strategies in battle. But fine! Whatever! I can admit when I�m beat. I�ll give you a reward, even. Take this Technical Machine!

He�s also here to teach me about TMs. This isn�t the gen that made TMs infinite use, but it is the last gen where that was universally the case, with Gen 8 splitting them into infinite use TMs and single use TRs.

Your bribe is sufficient. Your snake may live.

Yep, time for these kids to get their asses to class, and me to go start playing the loving game.

Would Truthkeeper please come to the office on 2F? Truthkeeper to the 2F office, please.

No! gently caress you! You have no hold on me! This is the Pokemon World, I�m allowed to drop out of school at 10!

The hell you say! I�m innocent! No jail can hold me!

[i]I can�t believe that you� beat all of my students! Fantastic!

They try to do a little fakeout there, which would probably be a little more effective if I cared about this woman�s opinion at all.

�Oh, it�ll be fine!� I said.

�She only has one Pokemon!� I said.

[i]I�ll be challenging you with a Pokemon that has a type advantage against that Litten you chose for a partner!

Yeah, this took me a few tries. Yes, it�s just a loving Popplio.

It woke up the turn after Stalin put it to sleep.

It came drat close to two-shotting Grimer, it was down to 1 HP here. I had to send Brosef back in to finish it, because Bugzapper and Litten can�t take that Water Gun.

You�re drat right it did. I should have played more seriously, did more grinding before this.

If the only reason you�re a teacher is because your Pokemon is a few levels higher than your students�, I should be more qualified than you soon.

[i]All joking aside, though, I do want you to take these from me� It�s a little reward for beating me.

Your bribe is sufficient. Your seal may live.

No poo poo!

I don�t dislike Ilima, but I hate his character design and his constant need to announce himself by his name and title.

I couldn�t help but observe your battles. You looked so very delightful in battle that I had no choice but to summon you here.

Aren�t you a student? Do you have the authority to demand random civilians be dragged up here?

This is Truthkeeper, who moved here to Alola from the Kanto region.

Still regretting it. After all these years, Kanto must have some new and interesting Pokemon I could be catching instead of listening to people tell me how to play a game I�ve been playing for 22 years.

She�s got real sense for how to use moves, and I think she�s gonna go far as a Trainer, yeah!

Seriously Kukui, it�s called type matchups. I might not always remember them, but I do at least know they exist.

I see! Then welcome, newcomer. I look forward to seeing the brilliance of your moves in my trial. Indeed! We captains are the ones who conduct the trials you will face on your way to challenging the island kahuna. My trial is held in Verdant Cavern. The trial of Captain Ilima.

I�ll have stuff to say about trials once we get to that. If not next update, then the one after.

You can find Pokemon living everywhere, even in the patches of tall grass in Hau�oli City. Perhaps you�ll want to fill out your team a bit before attempting my trial? I sincerely look forward to your challenge.

If I�m counting correctly, we can add three �mons to the party (Hau�oli City, Route 2, Hau�oli Cemetery), that should be enough to get past this trial.

That guy�s Tauros is pretty much a celebrity here on Melemele, you know?

And that�s why it�s allowed to block traffic and act violently toward people? We have Pokeballs for a reason, there�s no drat excuse to let your Pokemon run wild and terrorize the countryside!

I wasn�t here for a lesson. You people forced me to come here and held me against my will.

All the kids I just beat the poo poo out of remind me of the lessons they think they taught me, hoping it will make the pain of losing go away.

Um� Since we�ve come this far together, why don�t I show you more of the city? Come on. There�s lots to see.

Will you go away if I say no? :sigh:

Lead on, MacDuff.

Next time: Hau�oli City, Captain Ilima, and Team Skull

In the meantime though, I�ve got a Grimer in need of a name. Do that thing you do guys.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2020 09:30

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Simply Simon posted:

Name Slowpoke ...?

It's in there, I mentioned just after I caught the Grimer.

Truthkeeper posted:

That's another one we'll need a name for. If you were paying attention, you probably noticed I forgot to nickname Slowpoke, I took care of that shortly after this. BrosefStalin (with no space) just barely fit.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2020 10:30

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Simply Simon posted:

Oh, did I react too late?

The Joke

My Head

JohnCompany posted:

Don't know why you're disappointed, Alolan Muk is actually a drat fine 'mon, what with being strong against fairy, immune to psychic, and having decent bulk for a 'locke. Also gonna rep for my hometown and say name it Astro, cause, y'know, rainbow guts.

I actually quite like Alolan Grimer/Muk, I was just thinking how much I'd like a Magnemite. I kinda assumed I would get a Grimer from Hau'oli City, but checking the numbers, it's actually a lot more rare than I remembered from Sun, and odds are good I'm gonna be stuck with a Wingull (better than if I was doing this on regular Sun/Moon where the most common mon there is "Can't catch me!" Abra).

# ¿ Sep 20, 2020 23:17

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

SirSamVimes posted:

Wait, how did you take multiple tries to beat the teacher if this is a Nuzlocke?

Because I'm not enough of a masochist to restart the game after wiping.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2020 09:28

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

SirSamVimes posted:

Reloading after a wipe is a common optional rule, but not actually official. However, it is heavily against the spirit of things, and not something I intend to make a habit of. If that makes this playthrough less fun for you to read, I can understand that.

In my defense, only one of the two reloads was my choice. The other was one of many emulator crashes, which is why I've taken to saving very often.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2020 02:21

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Alright, dead PC is up and running again, all is well with the world, update should be coming this week.

BlazetheInferno posted:

I figure if we *really* want to be particular about it, they could keep track of how many resets they've done due to wipes.

I like this, I should do it.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2020 01:17

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Suzaku posted:

Build a pc with the first part of each type you encounter at the store.

No thank you, going to Microcenter once was bad enough.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2020 10:10

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Truthkeeper posted:

Alright, dead PC is up and running again, all is well with the world, update should be coming this week.

Well, you see... look, a two-headed Mankey!

Seriously though, so it turns out Citra stores its save data in your user directory. So if you need to reload Windows, and you're too stupid to remember to back up your user directory, it's gone.

I mean, sure, I only had about half an hour of the game covered and once I actually knuckled down and started again it barely took any time at all to get back to where I was, but it's the principle of the thing.

The only notable thing that changed:

Male character now, just because.

Got all our �Mons, all named. Grimer is Cpt. Planet.

And we're finally back in action here at Truthkeeper Studios.

Let�s continue playing Pokemon Ultra Moon Nuzlocke Run!

Good Ol� City Life

You memorized the sound of me walking on pavement? Don�t be a weird boy.

Hau just likes Hau�oli because they renamed the city after him after he was born.

But before I can get back to the plot, Hau �suddenly remembers� something only I can do, and drags me into the nearby tourist center.

Where they upgrade my Pokedex to include a camera. Wow, a hand-held device that includes a camera, never seen anything like that before. What next, is it also going to include a phone?

It�s like a whole nother partner, Truthkeeper! I mean, on top of your Pokemon partner! Oh, but I guess since it�s Rotom inside� it pretty much is a Pokemon partner?

Blaziken386 already posted the relevant Awkward Zombie, but the sentiment bears repeating. Until I can throw this thing into battle (and I�d love to, Rotom is awesome), it�s not a partner, it�s a less annoying Siri.

Yeah, imagine how good it would feel to have a useful feature added, like� actually, I�ve wanted an in-game type matchup chart for years. The Poketch in Gen 4 had one, and then it was never seen again. The step counter was also a useful feature. And the thing that kept track of Pokemon at the daycare. And the map that you could put markers on. And in games that have plantable berries the berry tree tracker would be handy.

Honestly, can I just trade the Rotom Dex for an ordinary Pokedex and a Poketch?

And thus we have half of Hau�s primary motivation for the rest of the game. I don�t really mind, I have a soft spot for always hungry idiot hero shounen protagonists. Hau would toally have ended up the protagonist of this game if Truthkeeper hadn�t moved to town and proceeded to beat his rear end into the ground at every turn.

And then this random guy notices my new super-cool camera and won�t let me leave until I use it. And directs me into a dark, secluded place nearby to use it�

I don�t think I like the city.

I liked Pokemon Snap as much as the next guy, but this is not the correct way to bring back that nostalgia.

I don�t remember this at all from Sun, but Serebii and Bulbapedia both insist it was in the original games, so I probably just did it once and forgot about it, especially as it doesn�t look like this is good for anything. The only rewards you ever get are better cameras so you can take better pictures to get more thumbs-up to get better cameras.

There�s no dialogue option for �I don�t care about this potentially fun if it was implemented better but mostly useless piece of crap right now�.

�Nope! The magical voice that only I can hear that controls my every waking action picks them out for me!�

On the one hand, yeah, Lillie does dress like somebody dressed by their mother. On the other hand, she doesn�t dress like somebody dressed by Lusamine.

Yay, now I can wear horribly uncomfortable contact lenses for purely cosmetic reasons!

Interesting, there�s a sticker stuck to this building, and the game wants me to remember it.

And there�s another one, along with Ilima introducing himself again.

I don�t much care for Ilima, he makes me want to use language that we as a society decided was inappropriate years ago. I don�t even think he�s gay, I just think he�s a walking stereotype.

More important to the subject at hand, he�s the one putting stickers on things, apparently to mark the path for trial-goers. Because he hasn�t cottoned on to the fact that my trial is going to take me loving everywhere. And that there are literal barricades, controlled by captains like him, that make me unable to go anywhere except where the plot wants me to go. Makes these things seem kinda pointless.

On the other hand, I do like stupid pointless collectables in games, and I get free Pokemon for collecting these, which as an enterprising Nuzlocke runner I should definitely take advantage of.

Ilima also introduces Team Skull here.

My God! They tear down stickers? Those vile fiends! Even Team Rocket would never stoop so low!

Because after the actual genocidal cult in Gen 6, the devs realized there was nowhere left to go with real bad guys, and so decided to make the villainous teams really dumb instead.

The internet informs me there are 100 stickers. I probably won�t get all of them, but with special Pokemon as rewards I�ll at least keep an eye out. It a better mechanic than the loving camera, at least.

More important than stickers though, Hau�oli has GRASS! Come to me, new servant!

Son of a whore, of course it�s a loving Abra.

I have no sleep-inducing abilities. One chance, no weakening.

Luckily, I have Great Balls.

Right about now, Cpt. Planet�s wonder why he�s even out of the ball.

It would be cool if that advice actually worked, though I have no idea how you would model that in a video game.

You guys know the drill. Give me a nickname for a goofy-looking psychic death machine.

I�m honestly kind of surprised I got it. The appearance chance isn�t horribly low, but the odds were better of getting stuck with a Wingull. And then the odds on catching it just throwing a Great Ball aren�t impossible, but it�s iffier than I would prefer.

That�s 2.

Alton Brown lives in Alola?

No, instead it�s Hau giving me a grand speech about malasadas, which are apparently a Portuguese confection, something vaguely like a doughnut, that got popular in Hawaii in the 1800s. He insists that feeding them to Pokemon is a good idea.

https://thepunchlineismachismo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/2013-12-02.jpg

And then there�s THESE assholes.

Whenever, wherever we meet you, Team Skull don�t even greet you!

I�ve never been sure if this is supposed to be generic thug talk or if they�re meant to be rapping.

poo poo quality rapping would certainly be in line with the poo poo quality dancing.

And all fits in with the poo poo quality evil plan, steal challenge amulets because they failed their island challenges and steal Pokemon because� profit!. They�re low budget Team Rocket made up entirely of dumb kids, and the idea that they can accomplish even half of what they do in these games is absurd.

Truly evil masterminds on par with teams like Plasma and Galactic.

These chucklefucks? No. Guzma? Maybe a little.

Cpt. Planet made quick enough work of his Zubat, but in retrospect I should have used BrosefStalin, would have been much easier. All hail the Confusion-immune master species!

To be fair, this is the exact same reaction all the villainous team members have to being pasted by a kid. It comes off better coming from them than from serious gangsters like Rocket or genocidal cultists like Magma or Flare.

But keeping other people from doing their island challenges isn�t gonna just make it like they managed to finish theirs, you know?

Hau is a very wise man, when he isn�t being stupid.

Someday I�m gonna beat even my old gramps in an all-out serious battle!�

And then he starts talking about shouting at the ocean and you remember he�s a 10 year old who probably had his brain removed so he had a place to keep extra malasadas in case he gets hungry.

Yeah. Where exactly were you, oh mighty Captain?

It�s not really gratitude when you�re going to follow it up with �Now fight me, scrub�.

Beating up his Yungoos allowed Cpt. Planet to level up, but his Smeargle was tricky (and came closer than I would have liked to one-shotting Mewocho Man) and took a bit of finessing to take down.

Yes, obviously you should say me and my Pokemon. What the hell kind of team would one person make?

This rear end in a top hat is way too full of himself.

Yes. Or I could walk down the only road out of town.

Of course, beating up captains only counts for style points in this gen, the real task awaits. TO THE POKEMON CENTER!

Lillie, you�re 10. I think. Probably. I�m not even entirely clear if I�m 10, but if I am, you probably are too. Nobody expects you to be able to navigate cities. Not being able to decide if you like clothes or not on your own is kinda weird. You managed to successfully run away from home while stealing a highly-guarded scientific experiment, that�s pretty loving impressive. And even if you�re not capable of taking care of yourself (which in retrospect is probably why Kukui hasn�t given her a Rowlett and a swift kick out the door), you�re still doing alright.

The first Revives. If you weren�t paying attention, go back and read my first post, Revives are fair game as long as I don�t buy them, but I�m only allowed to use them at Pokemon Centers (or discard one in order to bring a retired �Mon back out).

Hala still has no idea that children should be kept away from dangerous animals.

So let�s do something dumb.

That is not how that works!

Sure, I could use more rivals. Let�s give it a Rowlett and some Pokeballs and see how it does.

This girl is willing to pay me to show her an Abra. I�d be poo poo out of luck if I hadn�t managed to catch one.

She�s disappointed that she can�t learn anything about going fast from Teleporty McSleepytime.

And I make a vast sum of money. These later generation games just love throwing money at you. You�re meant to waste most of it on clothes and poo poo, but you still have more than enough to keep yourself stocked with All The Potions.

And stat boosters. I didn�t go too crazy. Just a couple X-Attacks and X-Sp. Atks.

And then, back out into the world!

To Route 2! New area, new grass, new combat servant!

SNEK.

GET SNEK.

SNEK GOT.

Seriously though, I don�t actually like Ekans that much, Grimer is by far the superior Gen 1 poison type, but I�m just happy to have a full team going forward.

Next time: The beach, the berries, the graveyard, and the trial of Verdant Cavern

3 Revives , 7 Totem Stickers

New Pokemon: Abra and Ekans

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 11:25 on Oct 20, 2022

# ¿ Dec 7, 2020 05:16

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Leraika posted:

Man, Ilma's speech is about as bland and generic as it could possibly be in USUM, idk what apparently's setting you off (unless you're doing it for comedic effect and I'm just very tired).

Nothing's wrong with his speech, it's all in the character design, he's drawn and animated in such a way that it makes me think of the gayest of gay stereotypes.

And it is a mostly for comedic effect. As you noted, Ilima's otherwise pretty bland, if I didn't have that to complain about I'd have literally nothing to say about him.

AweStriker posted:

The Poke Finder was definitely in normal Sun/Moon, since it was required for at least one trial.

e: there's an update at the bottom of the last page.

Right, it was used in the haunted grocery store, I'd forgotten that. So I clearly just completely forgot about it.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2020 06:28

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Chaosbrain posted:

Name it what it shall never be, Alakazam.

Technically speaking, there are no rules in a Nuzlocke challenge against trading, and the Citra emulator can actually trade Pokemon (in theory, I haven't actually tried it yet) so nothing is stopping me from having an Alakazam eventually.

Suzaku posted:

I'm sorry, I brainfarted my last post. It should be TETSUOOO!!

Alternatively, Brainfart if it doesn't break the censor.

I probably should have tried Brainfart, but I preferred Tetsuo (with only one !, but more o's), and so it became.

I'm terribly disappointed in you guys though. Several excellent name suggestions for Abra, and nothing for poor Ekans. I ended up going with a stupid meme name for him because it amused me, but if somebody suggests something decent I'll probably change it.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2021 09:22

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

The Trial of Captain Ilima

NOTE: At the time I wrote this up, I had gotten names for Abra, but not Ekans. So enjoy this vintage and totally not outdated meme name for him in this update, I changed it after this.

NOTE 2: I�m trying a thing with more summary and screenshots, less direct transcription of text. Speak up if you have an opinion on one style or the other.

Not that METAL GEAR? is going to be in the party for very long anyway. I don�t need a second poison type, and Cpt. Planet is doing the job very well. So Ekans will fill the spot until I get something to replace him.

Abra is, naturally, still useless offensively without TMs to teach it moves with.

Oh boy, a cemetery! I�m gonna be real respectful and not at all run around it like an idiot, stealing everything that isn�t nailed down, challenging mourners to Pokemon battles, and loudly cursing my luck when the Pokemon I find there is inevitably Gastly (yet another poison type).

I love the Gastly line dearly, but I�m not here to run monotype teams. That�s a different challenge.

I am pleasantly surprised and totally okay with this. And so Ekans took a trip to the box.

That�s another name we�re going to need.

Look kid, I like getting into legal cockfights while literally standing on peoples� graves too, but have some common decency and keep your voice down.

Copycat, resulting in Water Gun vs. Slowpoke. Copycat is a damned silly move in most situations.

If you think about it, it actually makes sense to start the small children off with baby Pokemon. But it would be a damned boring way to actually start a Pokemon game, and nobody wants to play Pokemon Literally a Preschooler.

I forgot Aftermath existed and this almost got very bad. Luckily, I avoided losing my newly acquired balloon ghost to my own stupidity.

This hotel owner grabs passersby to tell them all about the rooms he doesn�t have to rent because he�s full up, and to advertise for�

This is the big thing I knew was different in this version from the original going in. Surfing on Pokemon (as opposed to sitting on Pokemon using Surf).

It�s certainly a nice stretch of beach.

With vendors that I can buy things from if I earn Beach and/or Battle Points.

Hopefully the TM selection improves later, but at least a couple of these have niche uses.

It turns out the surfing is on provided Mantine, so I don�t have to provide my own water-type (or force my fiery cat to swim while I ride on it).

But I�m not allowed to surf until I�m �as tough as a real kahuna�. So beat Ilima, beat Hala, got it, go surfing, can do. I hope this minigame is worth the fuss.

EDIT A MONTH LATER: Turns out it�s absolutely worth the fuss.

There�s also a cave I can�t do anything in yet.

And these jackholes again.

Turns out they aren�t allowed to ride because they�re too stupid to not do their lovely dancing while riding.

I am seriously embarrassed to have them as enemies. They might very well be the worst enemy team (except for Guzma and Plumeria). I long for the dignity of Team Yell.

I smack them down again and get a heads up that I�m going to need to deal with them in Verdant Cavern when I get there.

I had hoped to get a Crabrawler from the Berry farm, but no dice.

And then I ran into these guys again! I still have no idea what the hell they�re up to, but the intro showed that they�re connected to the Aether Foundation, which makes them very probably bad guys. But they�re very polite bad guys who won�t go barging into the restricted Verdant Cavern without being allowed, so they�re going to ask Lusamine to arrange it.

They apparently still haven�t figured out how Pokeballs work.

And then I ran into Tau, Master of a Thousand Expositions.

And he gave me more revives. I�m starting to think my �allowed to use revives that the plot gives to me� allowance was overly generous.

And then he taught me about something called Roto Loto, which is� a slot machine? That gives some kind of buff items? Well, at least it�s trying to pull its weight.

I�d trade it for a real Rotom in a second.

If I happen to find one, and it�s the first Pokemon I find on that route, I will absolutely capture it for you. Crabrawler�s a solid fighting type, I�d love to have one in my party.

No and no.

Yes, those low-level Rattata are absolute vicious little monsters.

No joke, they really are.

Yes, we are aware of who you are.

My goal: Defeat three normal rear end-Rattata by chasing them around the cave, then fight Notorious R.A.T.

Oh no, this is going to be so very difficult. I�m so afraid. Look at my afraid face.

(Seriously, my BLANK SMILING VISAGE is scarier than anything in this cavern)

Chump.

Likewise chumped.

Brick Break is a great move and I�m always happy when I can get my hands on the TM for it early� but nobody in my party can use it. Not a whole lot in the way of arms in this party yet.

This is the most difficult (read: annoying) part of the challenge, chasing this last one from one side of the cavern to the other.

And then there�s these assholes!</Penn>

They really don�t have a brain cell between them.

You fit in perfectly with the rest of the losers. Guzma�s too good for you clowns.

On the plus side, their idiotic attempt at sabotaging me makes it easier to finish up. They�re like less entertaining Dick Dastardlys.

The third one�s a Raticate. It�s exactly as easy to beat as the others. You gotta bring something more than this if you want a loving vendor trash Pokemon to be threatening.

At least it�s Alolan Raticate, dark typing is a serious step up for these guys. Makes me wish I�d been able to get that Crabrawler.

You have to have something special.

Something unique.

Something like a giant Raticate with stat boosts that can call for help.

It�s Totem time!

About two thirds of my party is physical, one is special (that�s a joke you see, because it�s Slowpoke), and the last is Abra. Not ideal, but one makes do with what one has. It is ultimately just a bigger, and therefore uglier, Raticate.

I presumably beat them through a combined effort, swapping various mons in and out, but I didn�t take as many screencaps as I should have.

I had to brush dust off a ghost after the fight. Somehow.

Then I fed it a bean, equally confused as to how that works.

Beans, beans, they�re good for your long dead heart.

That offscreen battle was the stuff of legends.

drat right I am.

I think this is the only time it�s suggested that the captains are responsible for training the Totem Pokemon. Sort of goes against the idea that these are supposed to be incredibly powerful rare Pokemon.

I got a Z-Crystal!

I don�t like Z-Moves.

Mostly because of this posing bullshit that happens EVERY SINGLE TIME you go to use them.

Mega Rings, Z-Crystals, Dynamax Bands, there�s more borrowed power in this series than WoW at this point. Whatever happened to just leveling 20 levels over the gym leader and slaughtering his team?

Right right, yes.

It feels far too early to have Great Balls, let alone having you give them to me.

Yeah sure, let�s go to Route 3.

NEXT TIME!

6 Revives, 12 Totem Stickers

New Pokemon: Drifloon

# ¿ May 1, 2021 10:42

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Pokeball Z

What was I doing again?

Oh yes, right, let�s get the hell out of here.

However, there�s this curious rock formation off to the side of the totem pokemon�s room�

Which I can�t do anything with yet. Yeah, definitely time to get the hell out of here. This place smells funny. Every cave on this planet smells like Zubat.

I�m sorry, have we met? I feel like it�s been nearly a year and a half since I entered this cave.

The people of Alola overcome these trials willingly to obtain this mysterious power... to gain access to Z-Power. Is that it? Depending on no one and nothing but yourself... That is a fine aspiration. Quite different from our tendency to use our technology to solve all of our problems.

Yes, I certainly don�t use any technology. Please ignore my sentient Pokemon encyclopedia, and the balls I use to enslave monsters to do my bidding.

It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Soliera.

I am Phyco. Ah, yes! I believe we are expected to greet you with an Alola. Is that right?

I mean, I�m not from here, I�m not gonna demand you adhere to local custom. They did a weird hand gesture thing when they showed up that I assume is their culture�s way of greeting, but I missed getting screenshots. Probably would have looked better in a GIF anyway, and I don�t think I know how to capture that.

And I also find those Poke Balls that you use to be most intriguing... Perhaps we will find reason to work together sometime in the future.

And then they left without answering any of my questions about who the gently caress they are. I mean, obviously they�re Phyco and Soliera, but where the gently caress are they from? Who do they work for? How is their daddy and what does he do?

I mean, the original Sun/Moon was all about kids with mommy issues, that last one is not out of the question.

But that�s enough of these weirdoes! I completed the trial, and before anything else, that mean�s I�m allowed to catch Pokemon in this cave now! Time to add another warm body to the roster! There are all kinds of cool Pokemon I could get here! The humble Ratatta�s Alolan variant (dark type, complete with EVIL mustache), DIglett, also Alolan variant (steel type, with hair), the cool Gen 6 dragon bat Noibat�

AND THEN THERE�S THIS rear end in a top hat!

My hatred for Zubat is well earned after all these years, but I want as many soldiers in this army as possible, it�s not like I�m going to not catch it.

So Bugzapper is going to grab it with the Vice Grip!

One good whack, a couple failed Poke Balls, and a Great Ball later, I�m the proud owner of the shittier of the two bats in this cave.

You�re too late Rattata, the Zubat is already caught. All I can do is destroy you for experience.

Enough for Captain Planet to level up and learn a new move.

And then there�s this rear end in a top hat!

Yes, we know who you are!

As you travel around the islands of Alola, you will find captains� barricades here and there. These barricades help mark areas where particularly strong Pokemon can be found. Anyone can pass through them, of course, if they are escorted by a strong Trainer. Those attempting the island challenge can pass the barricades, as long as they clear the trials.
Are you ready? Then behold the power of a captain!

You made your lackey open a gate. Wow. I�m so impressed by your power.

Voila! Your world just got a little bigger. I am the only captain here on Melemele Island, meaning my trial is the only one here. Now that you have cleared the trial, please inform our island kahuna, Hala!

That�s reasonable enough, I can just wander back to the village and get along with�

AND THEN THERE�S THIS rear end in a top hat!

�

I feel like I might be abusing quoting Penn.

Not gonna stop.

Hey there, Truthkeeper! Oooh, looking at the expression on Ilima�s face, I�d say you cleared your first trial, yeah?

Nothing gets past you, Kukui.

Guess I better give you a little reward... Time to learn about Z-Power. Woo!

Woo.

Watch and learn, cousin!

Kukui is better at finding cool Pokemon than I am.

Maybe he has some kind of dog pheromones that attract dogs to him.

If it�s holding a Normalium Z and you choose a Normal-type move... you can use Z-Power! Check it out!

I really should figure out how to capture GIFs so I can properly show off how goofy these poses look.

I�ve complained a lot about Z-Moves.

But I have to admit that they look very cool. Wouldn�t mind making GIFs of these as well.

Phew! Z-Powers heap all of a Trainer�s feelings onto a Pokemon, yeah, which totally wears you out! Using Z-Power once per battle is all a team can handle, yeah.

Oh, so is that why you�ve been looking so ragged, Professor?

No! It�s like I was hit with Amnesia! I forgot that I lost Lillie somewhere on Route 3! Think you could spare some time to help me look for her, Truthkeeper?

Then why did you waste time teaching me about Z-moves?

I can also look around where I think she might have wandered off to.

Thanks, cousin. Let�s split up and find her, yeah!

Well then, I�ll have to go looking for Lillie next time.

But in the meantime, I�ve got a Zubat that needs a name!

# ¿ Oct 17, 2022 10:27

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Pokevolution Hour

And so Cassiel joined the ranks of Pokemon warming my bench. I won�t say I�ll never use it, because Golbat and Crobat are honestly pretty decent, but it won�t be my first choice.

This loving possessed machine is encouraging children to gamble. Where�s the religious outcry over this game?

As the sign suggests, Route 3 is home to a number of flying Pokemon that will dive at you if you walk under them. I could have caught one of those�

�but I wanted a chance at a different type, I�m starting to get a little Flying-heavy.

But gently caress me and what I want. It�s fine, Spearow�s acceptable.

So I�m gonna need you assholes to name this one.

Understanding these leads to victory

Whatever understanding he had of his Psyduck�s Ability (wasn�t Clound Nine, so it must be Damp, making it immune to explosions) did not save it from the ghost of a dead balloon.

I�m a bitch pretender at understanding competitive strategy, I like a STAB move (two for dual-type Pokemon) and a few others for coverage. But as a kid, I ran Charizard with Ember, Flamethrower, Fire Blast, and Fire Spin and thought I was hot poo poo.

:smuggo:

It�s a little unfair, and I completely missed what move she actually used.

Fighting the flying Spearows and Vullabys has a chance to reward you with vendor trash.

If I wanted to see dancing, I�m sure there�s a strip club back in the city.

Ah... Truthkeeper� Nebby... It got out of my bag again... But why would it want to go in that cave...? And right after it got into so much trouble on the bridge, too... What if a wild Pokemon attacks it? It doesn�t have any moves it can use to battle! Here, Truthkeeper. Let me heal your Pokemon for you... I always carry lots of Potions on me to keep Nebby healthy. That�s the best I can do, since I�m not a real Trainer or anything...

I�m not exactly flush with mons, but I can still very easily just give you that Zubat I caught. Or my Spearow. Are only professors and gym leaders allowed to give people Pokemon or something?

Quite so, foul daemonic encyclopedia!

This meadow is a circle with two exits, one into the cave where Nebby went, the other back the way I came in. It has a couple ridges dividing it, but it should still be easy to navigate.

I still managed to get lost and spend much more time here than I intended.

And then the evil ghost dex used its witch powers on me without permission!

On the plus side though, the first encounter in the meadow is this adorable little fellow. I used it in my original playthrough of Sun, it�s a solid contender.

It ate some hits before I was able to ball it, but to be fair, I was being gentle.

Maybe she�s the type who can�t help wandering off when she spots something interesting?

Pretty sure she�s cheating on you, dude.

An encounter with a Flabebe turned into a 2-on-1, because wild Pokemon are cheating little bastards this gen.

His rage at this dishonorable poor sportsmanship caused TETSUOOOOOO! to evolve.

We all know Kadabra is awesome, doubly so if you�re able to evolve him, no more needs to be said about that. I�ll probably send him to the bench when I get back to a Pokemon Center and swap in something less OP. Not because I�, being fair, I�ve just used this bastard a lot over the past 25 years.

You�ll remember the sign at the entrance mentioned this thing. It has an amusing gimmick we�ll learn about later.

I am reasonably informed that neither of us has a choice in the matter. Unless she�s refusing to look me in the eye or something. Either way, damned decent of her to ask.

Oh, that�s wonderful to hear! My name is Meredith. I�m an aspiring actress, you see. I�ve been imitating the various styles of Oricorio to work on portraying different characters. So, if you don�t mind a little demonstration... *ahem*

Here, she spins around quickly.

All right! Let�s go! Meredith is here to get this party pumped! I�ll be cheering for us both to do our best!

Her Oricorio isn�t much stronger than the wild one I just smashed.

But it gave enough experience for Bugzapper to level.

And for Meowcho Man to evolve!

I think I really get that kind of character now! Thanks a lot for this! All right... I�ve got to go find some more styles to study! Alola!

And then she vanished. I�m sure I�ll never see her again.

I tried switching BrosefStalin in to get some of this experience bonanza (although He�s been getting his cut from the Experience Share), but since most stuff here is grass type, that wasn�t the best idea.

It makes me so happy to see him search for me. It�s proof of how much he loves me! Keep looking for me, baby!

At the north end of the meadow, I found that guy�s girlfriend. Must have just finished her tryst.

The cave was at the southwest end, I walked past it like 5 times. And it�s not even that hard to spot.

Nor was the Psyduck I ran into inside hard to catch.

Nor was Nebby hard to find once I was in.

ASSASSINS! I knew you couldn�t be trusted! Nobody who dresses so strangely could have honest motives!

Hmm. Soliera. Test this one. I would also like to check the functionality of that Pok� Ball we tried making in the image of the devices used by these Alolan people. Now that we have at least succeeded in using one to capture an Alolan Pok�mon specimen.

Yes, sir. I will do so at once.

Ultra Recon Squad, huh? It�s not quite a full title drop, but I still say ROLL CREDITS!

Bugzapper managed to paralyze her Furfrou (did they go all the way to Kalos and back since I last saw them?) but did gently caress all damage, so I switched in the Meowcho Man, who finished it off with a series of super-effective Double Kicks.

I see... So that is what a Pok�mon battle is! I suppose if there are strong Trainers like yourself around, we may not need to play any great role in this endeavor.

So then we do not need to bother with the girl, I assume...

That one you have come to collect... You must know that it is able to warp away in an instant when threatened. You should remember, though, that the holes that are created when it does so leave a path open to dangerous beings.

And then they just left without explaining any of that poo poo. Yeah, sure, whatever, I have a serial escape artist to return.

Pew?

Thank you, Truthkeeper. And I should thank Grubbin, too. Here, let me at least do this...

She heals us up again here.

You know, I read something interesting in a book once... It seems the Pok�mon called Oricorio changes appearance by feeding on the nectar from different types of flowers. It�s not actually evolving but undergoing a so-called �form change.� Isn�t that interesting? I thought it was, anyway...

I like form changing Pokemon, and I like the way Oricorio handles it, but I�m not a fan of it.

Pew!

Back into the bag, please, Nebby. I know there aren�t many people around to see you here, but that�s hardly an excuse! And I guess we should be going now... The professor will probably be worried after the way we just disappeared on him...

But as soon as we left the meadow, we ran into this rear end in a top hat!

�

drat it, it feels mean to call Hau an rear end in a top hat.

Just finished up my trial! Heh! Hey, Truthkeeper! I wanna see if I really learned anything from my trial. Let me battle you again!

The power of his dead-eyed stare is nothing in comparison to mine.

Yes, I outlevel Hau�s team significantly, and could have just swept through with type advantages, but I decided to give him at least a tiny chance.

A minuscule one.

It didn�t go well for him.

Looks like we�re getting pretty strong! And I�m not stopping now. I�m gonna use this momentum to beat my old gramps, too!

Maybe try putting a bell on that damned sentient cloud of hers if you�re not going to put it in a ball?

What�s this then? Hau, you finished your first trial, too? I bet you used some stylin� moves, yeah?

Kukui, it�s a damned Raticate.

Hala�s probably rubbing his hands together in glee right about now, oh yeah!

What do you mean?

It�s all a part of the trials, yeah? After you clear one island�s trials, you gotta battle that island�s kahuna! Taking on the island kahuna in battle is called the grand trial! For someone like me who�s researching Pok�mon moves, nothing could be better than the chance to see some more fierce Pok�mon battles! Woo!

I don�t know about fierce...

I�ll be the judge of that! Come on! Back to Iki Town! Catch that Tailwind and blast through Route 3!

And next time, we�ll do just that.

But until then, I caught three new battle buddies tonight, and I�m gonna need some names for them!

Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 07:09 on Oct 23, 2022

# ¿ Oct 20, 2022 11:24

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

VS. Kahuna Halla!

Highwind, Cassius, and Migraine are all named. And as of the end of the last play session, so is B�Loona, because I forgot to name Drifloon earlier. Time to continue down Route 3.

There�s this move called Roost, you see... If you�d like to know more about it, why don�t you show me that you can defeat every Trainer on Route 3 first.

I was confused because I thought I�d done this already, and I ran around looking for who I�d missed. Foolishly, I hadn�t considered that the last trainer was past this guy.

This is not the trainer I�m looking for.

Hey... Why don�t you come here with me a moment?

Who do we pray to? Arceus? Tapu Chocolate? The box legendary? Mewtwo?

It will bring you good fortune. This isn�t the typical sort of rainbow, like the ones you see when the rain lifts, but I think it�ll still be effective.

It is literally the exact same thing, water vapor in the air is refracting sunlight. I know we�re both elementary school dropouts, but seriously old man.

I�ll be sure to offer up a prayer on this rainbow for your success on the island challenge.

Sure old man, go ahead and pray to your� rainbow god� thing.

If anybody starts praying to a volcano, I am out of here.

This also isn�t the trainer I�m looking for.

Thank you. I think I�ll give you something.

Oh. Thank you.

Fun fact: if I had made it to this patch of grass without running into any �mons elsewhere on the route, there�s a horrifically small chance to find Bagon here. I could have had a Salamance. It�s just not loving likely.

Here�s the trainer I was missing.

Spoiler warning: he will not.

BrosefStalin put that dog up against the wall.

But it was paralyzed during the battle, how terrible!

Luckily, you can cure status effects in your post-battle rubdowns

He looks happy now, but who can even tell with a Slowpoke?

You have shaken me from my calm repose! My heart was a still water, but no longer!

These people keep ignoring the eyes-meet rule! That�s our most sacred rule!

Spoiler warning: he did not use Roost during this battle.

Bugzapper blasted his Slowpoke�

�And his Butterfree.

It was a fine battle. My heart feels as light and clear as the blue sky that appears after a storm passes through.
This is proof of the battle between your team and my own. Take it, my strong friend!

You will likely find other Trainers like me on the routes of Alola. Searching for strength. Challenging them together with your Pok�mon would not be a bad reason to take a journey.

I�m pretty sure I�m already taking a journey to beat up wild Pokemon because some people calling themselves captains told me to.

This guy wanted me to catch a Sableye from Ten Carat Hill to impress his girlfriend.

I did not get a Sableye there. Sorry bro.

Continuing south form there brought me back to route 1, and the friendly Rockruff I played with a million years ago.

�now that you�ve gone and cleared your first trial, Truthkeeper!

It�s true... I�m not a Trainer, so I�m sure I don�t really understand how hard it must have been... but even I think it�s a great achievement.

Pew!

Yes, yes... We all know how you feel! But stay inside your bag, please!

The Melemele kahuna is strong, cousin

Might not be a bad idea to work on those Flying- or Psychic-type moves!

Got that covered.

Alright, it must be time to battle the mighty Kahuna!

Actually, no. Need to take care of something first.

Would have been awkward to go into that battle with my team roughed up. Although the text dump informs me that he would have healed me up if I hadn�t.

Right then, where were we?

Really need to figure out how I can capture GIFs for stuff like this.

I have been expecting you. Allow me to properly greet the young adventurers embarking on their island challenge. I am Hala, the kahuna of Melemele Island. Shall we begin? The final trial here on Melemele Island will be a Pok�mon battle against me, the kahuna! It is known as the grand trial! Yes! It seems that both you and your Pok�mon are prepared to combine your mental and physical strengths to unleash your full power!

It bugs me that it uses the Pokemon�s species name, rather than the nickname you give it.

Old Hala here will also be going all out! Let the grand trial begin!

I really like both the moving camera and the posing in these battles.

First up, BrosefStalin vs. Machop. As Kukui helpfully told me, flying and psychic type moves are king here.

Two Confusions gets me the win.

B�Loona vs. Crabrawler. I�m still disappointed not to have one of these yet. I haven�t caught anything at the berry farm, so I absolutely can catch one, they just refuse to spawn from the berry pile there so far.

Two gusts, no waiting.

Final match, TESUOOOOOO! vs. Makuhita. Even with the Fake Out, two Confusions rub it out.

And then I carefully brushed the dust from B�Loona before letting Hala talk any more.

And gave it a bean.

Observe, Truthkeeper. If you wish to use the Fighting-type Z-Power, move your arm like this... then bend your hips like this and pose!

A screenshot obviously doesn�t capture the short series of rapidfire punches he does here. It�s less silly than the Normalium pose.

Now then, Truthkeeper! With this victory... you have cleared all of the trials of Melemele Island, the first of Alola�s islands! The Melemele stamp is proof of your accomplishments. With it, Pok�mon up to Lv. 35, even those you received in a trade, will obey you! The moon in the daytime... The sun at night... Now to see if you can pour your heart into something that cannot be seen but is very much real. As you continue on your island challenge, consider what makes up the people and Pok�mon that you meet: both what you can see and what you cannot. You will surely meet Tapu Koko again someday.

Whoa there, Tauros!

I�ve got an idea! How about I set you up so you can ride my Tauros whenever you�d like? No reason why he shouldn�t get to enjoy the island challenge, too!

This feels stupidly dangerous.

I�ll take care of all the little things you�ll need in order to ride a Pok�mon, Truthkeeper!

�Did I just get a loving transformation sequence? Am I in a Kamen Rider/Pokemon crossover now?

See, Truthkeeper. Here in Alola our Pok�mon lend us their strength and let us ride about on them! Let me explain some of the gear I gave you... Your Ride Pager is a tool that lets you summon a Ride Pok�mon. According to the instructions, you need only �press the Y Button to turn on your Ride Pager! Use the B Button to dash!� And your Riding Wear will be the special outfit you wear when riding Pok�mon. Have a little romp around Alola with Tauros here. I�m sure you�ll be charmed by him! When you use your Ride Pager, Ride Pok�mon will kindly come running to help you wherever you may be!

Oh good, it�s� sorry, who are you again? I don�t seem to remember your name, perhaps you should reintroduce yourself.

Your performance has been a delight ever since I first laid eyes on you at the Trainers� School. I�m amazed that you won without even using your Z-Power.

I�m not going to say that Normalium-Z and the Breakneck Blitz power are useless, but I am going to say that they don�t make up for type advantages or STAB bonuses. Maybe if I used it on a normal type�

Oh, I know! Why not stop by the Alola Photo Club for a commemorative photo? With Tauros, you can be down to Hau�oli City in no time at all. Very well then, off on your island challenge you go! May the future bring you happiness!

With a little help from Tauros, Truthkeeper, you�ll be able to smash right through those big rocks on Route 1!

All right! I got a little something for you, too!

Excellent. False Swipe is infinitely useful in a Nuzlocke.

False Swipe is a move that will leave your opponent with 1 HP when you attack. Keep on catching more and more Pok�mon, yeah, and let Rotom learn all about �em! But first, you�ve gotta go let your mom know what you�re up to. When you�re done with that, head on down to the Marina in Hau�oli City. Oh yeah!

Oh! If you�re heading into Hau�oli, you should totally check out the Shopping Mall! And the Alola Photo Club, too!

These people are very excited about this photo club.

What do you mean?

Pew?

You know! The one Ilima mentioned! He totally had the right idea. You should go to the Alola Photo Club and take a special photo to remember clearing your first grand trial!

I�m starting to become concerned that this photo club may be a cult of some sort.

Good thinking, Hau! And once you finish your grand trial, you�ll be doing the same thing, yeah?

Heh heh! I sure hope so, but first... Come on, Tutu! Don�t go too easy on me now!

The old man just walks off, not even acknowledging him.

You�re all getting so strong already, yeah... I can�t wait to see how much more you�ll grow. All right, time to get the boat ready. Lillie, you gonna help me clean it?

I guess I am... So I suppose we�ll see you later in Hau�oli City.

Even the demon box wants me to go to the photo club? Definitely a cult!

I absolutely love summonable Pokemon replacing HMs.

Tauros is very good at smashing those rocks I�ve pointed out once or twice.

Well then, don�t mind if I do. Anything to stay away from the creepy photo cult.

On my way to Ten Carat Hill, I ran into this trainer I missed fighting earlier.

Well hello there.

Obviously, being ten levels ahead of her Wingull, this was a curbstomp.

The power of Tauros allows me to enter this cave.

And almost immediately run into the Gen 5 Geodude knockoff. That sounds dismissive, but I really like the Roggenrolla line, so I�m happy to run into this guy.

It�s a fairly easy catch. Now then, my Nuzlocke tracker tells me that TCH only has one catch opportunity�

But this area gets its own area label, so I�m calling it a separate area that allows me another catch. What do we got?

A punchy guy is what we got! I love the Machop line a lot too, second best fighting type, behind Heracross.

I managed to scrounge up a few items, but the real prize�

Is another Z-crystal! It�s just� there, waiting for any idiot with access to a Tauros to come here and grab it.

Um� hello?

Not having a name yet doesn�t stop her from doing a goofy pose to show me how to activate the flying rock.

And then she just� leaves�

This is hardly the weirdest conversation I�ve had with somebody in these games.

Next time: back to Hau�oli city, and beyond!

And I�ve got a Roggenrola and Machop in need of names.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2022 11:23

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Wanted to make some progress and write up an update tonight. Spent the whole time Mantine surfing instead. Not apologizing.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2022 12:03

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Big Wednesday

I came back out to this area, past the cave where I chased after Nebby, because I could swear that there�s an accessible bit of grass where I can catch something. But it�s just a little strip of land with no grass I can get to without surfing. Maybe I�m remembering wrong, maybe Ultra changed this area.

Then come this way... It�s better if you crouch down, too.

What do you think that is? The correct answer is that it�s the light of the Wing Fish Pok�mon, Finneon! They store up light from the sun during the day, then let their tail fin patterns all glow at night! If you want to see them again ever, feel free to stop by. I can make any night a special night.

�Yeah, I�m just gonna go�

But first, message in a bottle.

And now I�m going to get far away from this strange man who wants to make the 10 year old�s night �special�. I will go literally anywhere else. Preferably some place where I can find an adult.

Even if the photo club is an evil cult, they�re at least probably not pedophiles.

Here at the Alola Photo Club, you can take photos with your favorite Pok�mon as you strike your favorite poses! You should definitely give it a try. After all, you came this far already!

They won�t let me leave, so let�s play around with this.

I�m able to select a Pokemon from my party and some rudimentary poses. It�s� underwhelming.

I�m not impressed.

But at least one of us had fun.

Demon dex, I will rip your wings off and throw you in the loving ocean.

No, I took pictures of Meowcho Man. Who would want pictures of a Grimer?

Man, once I get started with all the poses and the stickers and things, I can�t stop myself! I�ll spend ages making sure Dartrix is looking awesome, so I should hold off on taking any photos of my own for now. Wouldn�t want to leave you bored and hanging! Just think... I wonder what kind of trials we�ll face next!

Oh. Yeah. So, about that, Professor...

Surfing, you say? Tell me more�

Aw, come on! I really want to ride on a Mantine! Don�t you? And I�m totally not just saying that because the professor�s boat is such a junk heap, either.

Right... Well, Hau, it�s all up to you! The island challenge is all about journeying together with Pok�mon, after all!

Yeah! So I�ll see you on Akala Island, Professor! Truthkeeper! If you wanna go together, I�ll be at Route 2�s Big Wave Beach!

At this point, I�m fairly certain you�re not capable of doing anything on your own. You might be the least capable human being I have ever met. What do you need?

You see... Nebby is... Its real home is far away from here. And I want to help it get home. It�s like I told you before... Nebby saved my life once when I was in trouble. Now I want to save it! I feel like there�s not much I can do on my own, since I�m not a Pok�mon Trainer... But if I had a real Trainer like you helping me, Truthkeeper, then maybe... But I probably shouldn�t ask a near stranger to help, right?

Oh, thank you so much. I�m so glad! I really didn�t know what else to do! Then, I suppose... The two of us will get to see one another on Akala Island next, too!

Pew!

Note that I never agreed to actually do anything. But I�ll get suckered into it anyway.

The amulet is frequently shown in cutscenes, but how does he know which Z-crystals I have? Am I just holding these things above my head for people to see?

So it would seem that you�ve cleared that trial of Ilima�s, have you? And even battled Hala? Congratulations!

You look familiar� wait, Professor Oak? Why are you wearing blackface?

No, I�m definitely sure you�re Samuel Oak, the Pokemon Prof. I won�t be able to prove it until you fail to identify my gender on sigh.

I�m a Pok�mon researcher, and I�m looking into the Totem Pok�mon found around here. Yes, Totem Pok�mon... Why are they so large? What gives them that burning aura? Don�t you find yourself wondering as well?

Sam, if I start asking questions about Pokemon and how they be, I�m never going to loving stop.

Is that so? You may say that now, but I think that hearing what I have to propose will change your mind! I want you to collect certain stickers for me, to receive a totem-like Pok�mon for yourself! That�s right. I mean the Totem Stickers!

I mentioned totem stickers earlier in the LP. I�ve collected three on this island, there are 14 others I still have to cruise around for.

You can find Totem Stickers here and there. Peel them off whenever you find them, and try to collect them all. If you collect 20 Totem Stickers to show me, I�ll give you a fine Raticate! Don�t let me down, young Truthkeeper! After all, you are the Trainer that Professor Kukui entrusted with Rotom there! I�ll be around Heahea Beach on Akala Island, if you need to ever find me! You can reach it with a spot of Mantine Surfing.

On the beach itself, I found a vendor who doesn�t know if BP stands for Beach Points or Battle Points, but she knows she sells stuff for it.

And another who teaches questionably useful moves to Pokemon, also for BP.

There�s even a high score board for the minigame here.

I must break them.

That�s right, we are! We�re doing our island challenges together! And next up, we want to go to Akala Island!

Great! So, like... How do we actually do Mantine Surfing?

You should not have asked that Hau. They might have let us figure it out on our own. But no, you had to go and summon up a long tutorial.

Much like my Kamen Tauros gear, the game doesn�t explain where I got this swimsuit from. Or why I�m wearing a helmet. Is it normal to wear a helmet while surfing? Have movies been lying to me?

Yes yes, I have actually done this before, although I admit it�s been a few months, and I did it on a friend�s 3DS, not the Switch controller I�m playing this with, but I assume it�s just like riding a bike.

I kvetch, but these tutorials aren�t actually all that bad.

This minigame is not very good for a screenshot format LP, maybe I�ll try and get some video footage at some point.

The point is that I crushed the highest score.

And then I learned a new aerial maneuver to score even more points.

And then this whole minigame was a fun alternate way to get to the next island.

And then I went back or forth several times.

I think the route back to Melemele is longer, and therefore gives you more chances to score. And the new move I learned scores a lot more points than the starting ones, even though it takes longer to perform.

I got another new move in there. Different moves score better in different situations. Lanturn 360 is worth more points when the waves are higher, Primarina Twist when they�re lower. I never actually remember which is which while surfing, I just do them at random.

But wait, wasn�t I supposed to be doing something?

Whatever you say! All right! We made it to Akala Island! Mantine is the best! So, do you think the professor and Lillie are already here, too? Let�s split up and see if we can find them in town anywhere, Truthkeeper!

The move tutor here has a different set of moves than the one on Melemele, I took a chance to learn a couple.

Including teaching BrosefStalin a better water move.

There�s also another message in a bottle here.

Spray-tan Oak is here too, but I haven�t collected anymore totem stickers than I had before.

But fine, let�s continue on.

That�s what I like to hear, yeah. Tackle your island challenge with that same attitude!

Wait, so Mantine�s even faster than that old boat of yours, Professor?

The professor�s sailboat is...well... It has seen better days.

Pew!

Finally, somebody other than me is saying it!

...Nebby. Back into the bag.

Don�t sweat it, Lillie.

Then again, our newcome might not be in a position to critique Kukui�s fashion choices. Difference is, she makes it look good.

Why hello there. Nice to meet you all�I�m Olivia.

Hey! Thanks for stopping by! I�m Mallow, one of the captains here!

I was on my way to see who was pulling into port and ran into Mallow here while she was out on a delivery.

Yup! My trial will be a chance for all the fine ingredients that make up your team to shine! Especially you two! Your Pok�mon look ready to cook with gas!

Yes, I literally have the fire type starter. Probably should keep Cpt. Planet away from the fire though. And the food. And probably everything else.

And Mallow isn�t the only captain here on Akala Island, of course.

I mean, that was a reasonable thing to assume, given Melemele only had one.

So? What�s your plan now?

Yeah, that�s up to these kids. It�s their island challenge, after all!

Yes...I suppose so.

She says that like it�s unusual for 10 year olds to go off an adventures on their own with no adult supervision. What a freak.

OK, then. Enjoy your time on your island challenge, kids, along with your Pok�mon. I�ll be waiting for my chance to face you in battle when the time comes.

I know I�ve mentioned it before, but I appreciate the fact that they try to make cutscenes more interesting with the varied angles.

I�m sure she wanted to come see that you made it here all right... But she�ll never admit it to you! Hah! That�s Olivia for you. She�s a kind kahuna, deep down. There are three trials here on Akala Island. If you two decide you want to take on the trial straightaway, head up Route 4 there and keep on goin� until you get to Paniola Town.

Shoots, I know where I�m going first, and that is straight to the Pok�mon Center! I wonder what kind of malasada they make on Akala, eh?

Maybe I�ll see about some shopping of my own... And I should find out about the ruins for Nebby�s sake, too...

Not really, no. It�s less �lots of sights� and more �here are the rails, now follow them�.

I was able to meet the name rater, but I�ve been using PKHex to change my dudes� names, so I�m not concerned with him.

And then I ran into Lillie again down the road.

Surely I can�t be the only person capable of changing clothes in this game� is Kukui actually paying her in anything other than room and board?

Well, yes, I was doing that, too. But this little fellow will hardly sit still... I think Nebby might be interested in visiting the Ruins of Life. Apparently they house the sacred guardian of Akala Island. A creature called Tapu Lele.

Pew?

I wondered if you�d like to come with us when we go to visit the ruins... I mean...little Nebby here seems to like you quite a bit, Truthkeeper... I�ll be at Tide Song Hotel if you decide you want to come. I�m supposed to be meeting someone there... Someone very important to me... I�ll be all right. I can see the building from here, after all. Even I shouldn�t be able to lose my way. I think.

Pew!

And you! I�ll have you stay in your bag, mister. I�ve heard that there is a group of terrible people around who try to steal Pok�mon. A group called Team Skull.

Yes, there has absolutely only ever been one group of assholes who steal Pokemon.

�

I�m now more interested in the idea of a detailed Pokemon timeline than the idea probably warrants.

We need to be careful if we want to escape the notice of such a collection of villains... Isn�t that right, Truthkeeper? I wonder if the guardian of Akala will also be interested in you, Truthkeeper... You are the one who got that Sparkling Stone.

If legendary Pokemon start stalking me because they�re bored� you know what, I�d be okay with that.

The Pokemart here sells overpriced TMs. I might come back for some of these later.

And then there�s THIS rear end in a top hat, blocking the road with his drat dog. So inconsiderate. So with no other choice, I make my way up toward the hotel Lillie mentioned.

And then there�s THESE ASSHOLES!

I�m Dexio.

My name�s Sina! A beautiful name for a beautiful lady!

We�re here seeing the sights in Alola. Its unique tradition of island challenge... It�s pretty fascinating, I�ve got to say.

Keep your dirty French opinions to yourselves.

I actually don�t have anything against them, I just hate being reminded of the clusterfuck that was X/Y�s plot.

Annoyingly, the text dump I have is from Ultra Sun, and this conversation goes different there than It does here in Ultra Moon.

Poor little baby never had a chance.

Her Glaceon is tougher, and takes a few turns to take down.

I feel like I�ve been able to have a glimpse of the island challenge! Let me heal your Pok�mon as thanks! You and your Pok�mon are the ultimate team! No doubt about it! This battle reminded me of us in the past...and that group of five young Trainers. Take this as a little token of our new friendship!

Maybe training yourself up a bit on Route 4 will help you understand your Pok�mon even better. We�ll be taking our leave now! Bon voyage!

At this point, I decided to swap around my team a little. I mentioned before that I didn�t want to keep TETSUOOOOOO!! in the party, because it�s too easy to use as a crutch even in later gens.

So now we have another bug.

Then I met this bellhop with issues.

You see the truth is...well... I know I said I like the Tide Song best, but I still can�t seem to let go of my dream of working at the Hano Grand Resort. It is, of course, delightful to work here at the Tide Song, and I know I�m lucky to be here. Yet I can�t help also wanting to experience working someplace a bit more glamorous... But I�d feel like I let down the owner of the Tide Song if I left now to apply to the Hano again.

Sorry to hear that, wish I could help. I�ll just be going now.

I�m sorry... I saw some people who looked like those Team Skull thugs and I got scared. I was trying to avoid them and then I think I ended up missing my meeting... Oh! But don�t worry. It�s fine. This is actually where I wanted to be... Will you be going for another one of your trials, Truthkeeper? From what I�ve read, I think that the nearest trial site must be the one up Route 4.

So why did you ask me to meet you here?

I immediately went to rat out the bellhop who doesn�t like his job because the hotel isn�t fancy enough.

Hah! Is that so? I had no idea he had so much on his mind. Traveling Trainer, if I might ask of you a favor? If you happen to have a Magmar among your Pok�mon, would you be so kind as to show it to my troubled employee?

If I ever get a Magmar and remember that you asked me that, I�ll eventually get right on it.

But enough of all that nonsense. There�s a route next to the hotel, as Lillie helpfully pointed out. Routes mean grass, and grass means friends.

Dirty donkey friends!

And that means I need a name for my new donkey.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2022 11:36

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Meanwhile, Back on the Ranch

Kickin' rear end has joined the team, only because I appreciate getting one over on the built-in censor.

When last we left our intrepid adventurer, he�d just wandered onto the set of a cheaply produced TV western.

And almost immediately got ambushed by Hau.

Hey! Truthkeeper! Glad I ran into you... So we can see who�s stronger now! I got a Z-Power Ring from my gramps, too, after making it through his grand trial!

I suppose it�s been a bit, but it really feels like I just battled you.

Having a battle in a place like Paniola Town feels like we�re in a real old-fashioned Western showdown or something, right? This is so cool! Though if we�re real honorable cowboys, we�ve gotta make sure our teams are healthy first.

Well that�s damned decent of him. Blue certainly wouldn�t piss on me if I was on fire.

Dartrix and Pikachu and everybody, you oughta all be bursting with energy after eating a pile of my mom�s special pancakes, so let�s show this newbie what Alola�s got!

His team is at least a little better than last time.

And he actually uses his Z moves.

It�s not going to help. All this did was give me a turn to remember that Dartrix has flying type moves and get my bug the hell out of there.

Cpt. Planet did a very serviceable job.

I didn�t have Kickin� rear end on the team, so I made do against his Pikachu with Meowcho Man.

I honestly don�t even remember what his third was, Brosef made a mockery of it.

Double-checking, looks like it was a Noibat.

While B�loona chumped his Eevee.

Yes. Battle plan. I certainly had one of those.

Ma-a-an, that was some kinda battle! Dartrix and everybody all look like they had a blast, too!

Right then. Here. I�ll share my bit of good luck with you, Truthkeeper.

You know how the Totem Pok�mon are all, like, surrounded by some aura of power? If you use a Dire Hit on your Pok�mon and manage to land a critical hit, that aura won�t mean a thing! You might wanna try using some of those Rotom Powers when you�re fighting a totem, too!

You know, Pok�mon battles are just, like, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But you�re only really a loser if you don�t have any fun while you�re at it. Right? Anyway, I�m heading off to Paniola Ranch!

You do that Hau. I�m gonna go� do the same thing actually, because there�s nowhere else to go.

Yes Rotom, that smell is called �rural�.

That makes 10, I�m still missing a half dozen or so from the first island, I�ll go back for them later.

Oh good, these assholes again.

I mean, they could be new assholes, nearly all Skulls look alike, save for gender.

Obviously, I�m not going to let them steal a� bottle cap? Is this Fallout now?

He had a Ratatta. It was not a good fight for him.

Oh well, it was dumb, but I did a good deed.

Um� okay?

Meanwhile, I�ve been a good boy and gave lots of beans to my Pokemon, so the weird cartel that keeps forcing beans on me gave me a rare candy.

Kickin� rear end is in the party now, B�loona can warm the bench for a while� or however that works for a haunted ballon.

But the next point of interest is just up the road past the Pokemon Center. For some reason there�s a ranch here, and by �ranch�, I mean there are a few Tauros scattered around and some ranchers.

And this weird lady.

Oh! You�ve got to be a trial-goer, right? Well, you�ve got a good sense of timing!

I was caught off guard by this guy, and missed the first part of what he had to say. Had to get it from the text dump.

Oh yes, hello again.

Thanks for stopping by!

The Moomoo Milk from Paniola Ranch is the best. It�s so rich and creamy when you use it in white sauce and other things... Mmm! The taste can�t even be described!

So many possible dirty jokes, so little time.

Oh, by the way! Since I was lucky enough to run into you here, I�ll do you a little favor.

Um� okay?

See, Stoutland can sniff out items for you that are buried in the dirt where you can�t even see them!

Get up there and try it! There�s all kinds of stuff lying around waiting for you to find it. And Stoutland will bark louder and louder the closer it gets to some item buried in the ground!

Yeah, it�s just the item finder, except I have to ride a slow annoying dog. Just like that guy blocking the road back in the port town.

If you go all the way down Route 5, you�ll come out on Brooklet Hill. My friend Lana is up there, so say hi to her for me if you see her!

Sure, I�ll eventually get right on that.

It�s not actually that bad, I just don�t like it.

More importantly, now that I�m not being distracted by trial captains, there�s grass here. And you know what that means.

ELECTROSHEEP.

GET.

Stoutland moves at decent speed, unless you actually hold down the button to search for items, at which point he�s slower than walking speed. The ! above his head changes from blue to red as you get closer to the hidden item (there�s no ! if there isn�t an item).

I mean, we�ve all been making fun of these people not knowing what sex is for decades. But do you understand how Skitty and Wailord gently caress? It�s pretty loving mysterious!

drat it! I don�t have Strength! How am I supposed to get the secret legendary from under the truck?

Hey, you�re not a legendary Pokemon!

And then there�s these assholes. Can�t I just borrow a bucket to throw some water on them?

the path and now no one can go through. Seems like they�re so petrified of Lana now that they don�t even want to see another Waterium Z after she smacked down on them with that Water-type Z-Power of hers!

Or maybe I could just have my water type Pokemon spit at them?

Instead, I�ll have to go north.

Where I immediately find another guy who will give me a reward if I clear the route.

More importantly, MORE GRASS.

Grass type in the grass. That tracks.

And that makes two.

I also found a TM sitting out in the open. I don�t care for moves like Torment, but I know lots of people can use them to good effect. I�d just rather deal damage instead of manipulating what my opponent can do.

But in order to progress down the route, I have to fight the most powerful thing in the universe� A PAIR OF PRESCHOOLERS!

They were very slightly more difficult than most battles.

Oh hey, I caught up to Hau. Who just got his rear end kicked.

Bro, have you looked in a mirror? I can�t take anything seriously when there�s somebody as goofy looking as you around.

I am! So seriously! I�m seriously enjoying it!

...Enjoying it?

You can enjoy Pok�mon battling when you put everything you have into it... which clearly you haven�t.

Whoa! Hey, Truthkeeper!

This guy is plenny scary!

No, you misheard. My name is Threepwood.

Hmm. So you have enough sense to be wary. Not bad...

I�m Gladion. Me and my partner, Type: Null, are training to get stronger... We have to get stronger! Though most of our time these days goes to working for Team Skull as their muscle.

Battle me. I won�t take no for an answer.

Neither does anybody else. Did nobody ever teach you about the eyes rule?

He�s less annoying than the nameless Skull grunts, at least. And he had a Zorua, which passes for cool and unusual.

But of course, it�s this thing that�s really cool and unusual, unique to Gladion.

�

Does he not know how nicknames work, or does he not count as its original trainer?

Hmph... It�s not like me to slip up like that.

I mean, we just established that I�m stronger than you, I will gladly grind you into the dirt as often as you need as long as you keep it interesting.

That kid there. His Pok�mon aren�t weak.

And sure, it�s fine to enjoy battling...

But this brat... he�s just using that as an excuse not to try hard because he can�t beat the kahuna. Because he can�t beat Hala when he�s serious!

I mean, nothing he�s said here is wrong, and he�s not even being all that rude about it. My only real problem with Gladion is that he looks ridiculous.

You know my gramps? Wait. So you think I�m strong?

And then there�s these assholes.

Among the multiple other things I wish I could get a gif of, I wish I could demonstrate how loving silly their dancing walk is.

I guess it�s no surprise a homeless kid would turn out spineless, too, huh? No worries! We�ve got enough backbone to cover for you!

Have I mentioned that I love the camera angles in this game? It makes the longer conversations feel a lot less static.

Huh?

You know you can�t beat me. You�ll just get your Pok�mon hurt for no reason.

They�re good Pok�mon.

We came all this way, and for what? For a big fat waste of our time, thanks to you. If you hadn�t gotten in our way, we could�ve stolen the Totem Pok�mon from Brooklet Hill!

Ha ha ha. No.

Let�s get out of here. Look, the Murkrow are crying, and it�s time we should be flying.

Listen up good, Gladion... The boss does like you. That�s true. But you�re just some hired help we keep around for when we need you. You aren�t part of Team Skull, not really. And you never will be. Got it? You better get it.

Not being an actual member of your lovely-rear end team kinda makes him more worthy of respect. I mean, he still works for you, and that�s terrible, but I�m not gonna knock a guy for doing what he has to do for a paycheck.

Thanks, Truthkeeper.

Phew... Looks like I�ve gotta train up my team if I�m gonna take on the trial at Brooklet Hill next! Here, Truthkeeper, take these with you. We�re gonna beat this island challenge!

And so I got more revives I can�t use.

How can you be scared of that haircut?

Next time: More trials!

I�m gonna need names for the new dudes. I�m disappointed to have a Mareep in something that isn�t Gen 6.

I miss megaevolution.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2022 12:28

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Gone Fishin�

Welcome to the team Static and Pinkeye. Enjoy your stay, and maybe you�ll see some time on the team if things go south, or if I get bored with the existing team setup.

I�m bored with the current team setup.

This one decision led to a lot of time spent leveling up random guys on my bench while trying to decide who was going to stay with me.

During which time I went back to the beginning of the route to fight this guy.

Rando trainers might not commonly show up with Z-crystals, but you can�t rule them out. Luckily, he blew his load on a buffed Reflect, rather than a named attack move.

The reward was not worth the effort.

The majority of mons on this route are bug or flying type, making it rather inconvenient to grindmy pure grass totally-not-a-bug up closer to the rest of the party. The less said about others I switched in and out as I went, the better.

Macrophage, for example, ended up sticking around, even though I kind of wanted to stick to mostly gen 7 dudes if possible, but I can�t do that without duplicate types. Besides, I like the Machop line, so he�s a welcome addition. Bugzapper ended up a little higher than I might have preferred, but it certainly made my life a damned sight easier later in this update.

But my real target tonight is Brooklet Hill, at the end of the route. Lots of water, a few bridges to get in�

A fisherman with a Goldeen�

And a trial captain, though not the one I�ve met several times already. But she did warn me about this trial being here, and the Sudowoodo encounter made it clear what type I was dealing with, so I can�t say I wasn�t prepared or forewarned.

I serve as the captain of Brooklet Hill.

Oddly enough, the text dump has different dialogue for this spot, I�m not sure if one was just unused but still included, or if there�s a way to get one or the other.

You look like an able-bodied Trainer. Could I ask for your help with something?

Same outcome either way, I guess.

Then I will explain the trial to you.

My particular trial is this... I want you to herd the Pok�mon found in the pools of Brooklet Hill, driving them downstream to draw out the Totem Pok�mon. If I might be so blunt, they are Wishiwashi. It�s Wishiwashi I want you to herd.

But I won�t expect you to swim through all the pools yourself. I have a lovely gift to help you.

I�m not 100% certain, but I think this is the earliest you get Surf, or a Surf analog, in any game in the series.

If you climb atop Lapras there, you will be able to travel over bodies of water. Now you�ll be able to help drive those Pok�mon downstream for me!

So if you�re ready... Please follow me this way.

Plenty of grass here, but I can�t catch anything until after the totem battle. Nothing even comes up to fight me.

Ah... I�m sorry. What was your name? ... ... ... Of course! Truthkeeper! It is a lovely name. Just lovely.

Don�t patronize me.

Now, then. Do you see those two splashes over there?

I am thinking that at least one of them might contain a Wishiwashi. In fact, it�s likely both might. Don�t you agree? Would you try to drive them downstream with a little help from Lapras?

I mean, that�s the trial, and that�s why I�m here, right?

The trick is that one of these things splashing in the water is the Wishiwashi I want�

Well, this is a lovely surprise! You�re quite the Trainer, Truthkeeper! Please carry on driving the Wishiwashi downstream just like that.

While the other is a Dewpider. If you choose the wrong one� oh no, horror of horrors, you have to fight it!

Speaking of fighting, there�s a random passing trainer up at one end of the river for me to deal with. She apparently doesn�t know what Pokeballs are, maybe she�s related to Lillie?

That splash there! Please do check that vigorous splashing and keep driving the Pok�mon downstream for me.

Two more splashes, another Wishiwashi/Dewpider choice. I got the Dewpider first this time, if you�re curious.

Truthkeeper! Look there! Yes, just over there!

It would seem we succeeded in drawing out the Totem Pok�mon!

Strike against the totem with all your strength! And seize victory!

Again, literally why I�m here. How bad could a little fishy be any�

Oh gently caress me, I forgot that the totem pokemon are different between versions. Lucky thing I had Bugzapper leading and not Pinkeye.

Totem Araquanid, extra fast. I thought Totem Wishiwashi in Sun was bad� and honestly this was easier, but I�m also a little overleveled.

Which did not prevent me having to super potion ever other turn, take out two allies, because wild Pokemon aren�t familiar with the concept of one on one, and barely manage to get in a few hits on Araquanid between all that.

What a very surprising surprise... Who would have thought it? That all those Wishiwashi gathering would have summoned an Araquanid, that is. Heh heh... Even I was caught�hook, line, and sinker!

You were amazing, Truthkeeper. Truly impressive. Please take this.

That�s two!

You do know what this is, don�t you? Watch. This is how you use Waterium Z.

The little hula motion she does here is probably the least silly of the Z-motions we�ve had so far. Maybe tied with the little kata Hala did for Fightingium Z.

And I have more than just that to offer you. Another token for clearing my trial... Here. This is a Lana original. One of my own handmade fishing rods.

And now I can fish. Surfing and fishing opens up a few more places for me to pick up recruits from, including this very den.

This is how you use my fishing rod: When you want to fish for Pok�mon, look for piles of rocks in the water. Fish like to hide in the shadows there. When you see your bob dip under the water, you have a bite. But you won�t for long. The Pok�mon will struggle to get away, so press B as soon as you see the �!� mark.

I usually play with the speed cranked up, so I had a little trouble doing this until I gave in and turned it down.

If you want to catch any of the Pok�mon you fish up for your team, I recommend Dive Balls.

And then she just handed me a stack of them. Woo, more free balls! Lana�s quickly buying her way into being my favorite trial captain.

So did I, over 20 years ago.

Well, what do you think?

You did a fine job today. Shall I see you back to the Pok�mon Center on Route 5?

Nope, I got poo poo to do here.

I understand. Oh yes, I understand all too well. The siren call of the sea... and the urge to fish up something wonderful!

You got that right. There are two areas here, that�s two chances for an interesting new team member.

The Nuzlocke tracker I�m using refuses to acknowledge that the Totem Den is a separate area, but gently caress it, I�m the one calling the shots here..

I failed miserably at fishing for a while�

Before I ran into this familiar fellow. I�m not mad. I�m not even disappointed. I�ll probably even put it onto the team and grind until it evolves. I don�t think it�s an unusual thing to say that I like Gyarados.

Incidentally, I caught a Finneon here the first time, which I thought was more interesting, but then I closed the emulator without dropping a new save. Had to do the whole totem fight again.

Whereas in the grass in the first area, we meet another old friend of mine. This fun little guy carried me through a lot of fights in Sun.

And that completes the trial of Lana, gets me a water crystal, and adds two new rookies to the roster who will need names.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2022 12:27

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 20:49

Truthkeeper: Nov 29, 2010; Friends don't let friends borrow on credit.

Treated Like Royalty

Well what do I need you guys for if you're just going to name things the same names I would pick without you?

Mr. Fish and Truffle it is.

I should really pay attention to this horrible demon machine more often, these things are useful.

Anyway, I beat up a bug and got a water crystal. Woo.

Which makes short work of the Sudowoodo blockade. No bizarre impassable trees to cut down in this gen, but for some reason Pokemon pretending to be trees still prevent me from passing.

topic all on their own! The way they mimic plants in order to avoid water... How very interesting.

I�m still confused about what the deal is with these guys.

Just as our research suggested, Captain Phyco.

Indeed... We must gather data about Pok�mon if we want to win Pok�mon battles, after all.

That being said, there is no need for us to use these odd Alolan Pok�mon. Soliera, if you would be so kind...

I appreciate how often people actually ask about it in this game.

Oh. Huh. That thing�s new. I�m intrigued, especially the insinuation that it�s foreign, and I don�t think they mean it came from Galar.

Still wrecked it. I regret overleveling before that trial, but not much.

That Z-Power Ring of yours... Its light feels somehow nostalgic.

Do you think it is the same light our ancestors gazed upon? The light said to have come from the Blinding One?

Who can tell? Yet it is our duty as the Ultra Recon Squad to find that out.

I�m not getting any answers about these guys anytime soon, although I�ve got certain assumptions.

Interestingly, these two are apparently unique to Ultra Moon, with a different pair in Ultra Sun.

But enough about that. New area, new Pokemon!

Ooh, a nice find. I have no idea how to evolve Glaceon or Leafeon this gen, but I�m sure I can figure it out if I want one of them.

Meh, cart, horse. Worry about Eeveelutions later.

It ate half a dozen great balls, but I�ve got an Eevee.

And then a horse showed up, which I guess means I need to build that cart.

That�s a hell of a head you�ve got there friendo.

Oh good, these guys again.

And YOU! You�re that numskull Trainer from Melemele, yo!

Oh, very specifically �these guys again�, these are supposed to be the idiots I met on the previous island. Maybe I would have recognized them if they had unique sprites, or names, or anything.

I feel like technology has probably advanced to the point where every trainer in a Pokemon game could have a unique sprite, right?

On the other hand, if they did that, I�d have to take more headshots for conversations.

�Familiar� is a strong word. I certainly don�t know their names. I don�t know their daddy or what he does.

I am Hapu.

Life in the big city sure is something else. Pok�mon thieves roam about brazenly...

Hmm, I leave that one to you.

We�re not thieves, yo! It�s a legitimate business!

We got straight messed up in Melemele... got exiled to Akala... but we ain�t goin� out like that!

In earlier games, especially gen 3, I feel like this would be a double battle, but 7 doesn�t do that much, discounting cheating wild Pokemon.

It was not a long fight.

With all these losses, we�re gonna anger our bosses! These tears taste like salt, yo! It�s all your fault, yo!

Mudsdale, shall we stomp these scoundrels? It�ll be a mess to clean up afterward, but I am willing if you are.

Time for us to break out, yo! Gotta tell y�all peace out, yo!

I told you about the walrus and me, man/You know that we're as close as can be, man/Well, here's another clue for you all/The walrus was Paul

I�m not gonna keep telling you this... except when I keep telling you this! You better listen to what my homie says and drill it into that thick skull of yours! Seriously! You�d better not forget, numskull!

Glad to see that Drifloon will get home on her own.

I�ve got you to thank for that. Give me your name, Trainer.

Truthkeeper, eh? That�s a fine name. I like the way you handled yourself in battle.

Mudsdale and I are always wandering all about Alola to try to achieve our goals, so perhaps we�ll meet again someday. I am indebted to you for your aid, after all.

Ah yes. You might want to try your hand at a Battle Royal or two, Truthkeeper. Mudsdale here thinks you�d be well suited to it, given how strong you are.

Thank you Horse Whisperer, I�m sure I�ll get right on that.

Except I�d rather not, because I hate the Battle Royal (and not just because they spelled it wrong). If only there was something I could do to kill time, something I�d put off doing�

Totem sticker montage it is!

I actually kept going for a while after this, but this was the last important one.

Oh! Well, hello there! It�s me, Samson Oak.

Who gave you this number?

I see you�ve collected some Totem Stickers. You should come stop by Heahea Beach !

Beach, you say?

Didn�t break any records this time.

But you don�t need to break records to earn max BP per surfing run.

But before meeting up with Oak, I went back to this area on the first island, one of two places there I don�t have a Pokemon from yet, because you can�t catch any without Lapras. Time to get my fishing game on.

You might think I�d be upset. But doubles don�t count!

Fished up an obscene amount of treasure. Later games just throw shitwacks of money at you hoping that you�ll get into buying the stupid clothes and whatnot.

Ooh, obscure gen2 lovely fish with a cool evolution.

Honestly, there were worse possibilities, I can work with this.

The other Melemele location I don�t have something from, the sea south of Kukui�s lab.

Yeah. Sure. More fish.

I hate fish. Luckily, I don�t have to eat them.

And then finally over to Brownface Oak.

It seems you�ve collected 25 Totem Stickers! I told you I�d give you a special Raticate that�s as big as a real Totem Pok�mon once you got 20, so I guess it�s yours!

Totem Pokemon are cool, I just regret that it�s Raticate. Technically, the Nuzlocke rules have nothing to say on the subject of gifted Pokemon, although it�s generally accepted that they count against the one per area limit.

So, what was I putting off doing? Some annoying pain in my rear end?

Oh right, Royal Avenue.

I�m asking myself the same question, kid.

Every time something brings me down, I end up coming right back here again...

Come on, Null. We�ll beat everyone who stands before us. We�re going to be strong enough to protect them this time...

Kids got issues, but he�s still a better rival than Hau.

You�re a loving demonically possessed electronic encyclopedia, why are you afraid of a teenager with a bad haricut?

More interesting to me than the Battle Royal is the Megamart where you get a coupon to buy items for half price. Money is basically meaningless in this game, and it�s just generic poo poo, but it�s cheap generic poo poo.

And a furry panhandler sold me a cheap TM.

Alright, ran out of ways to procrastinate, let�s get this over with.

Um, thank you, mysterious shirtless stranger.

Seriously though, it�s obviously Kukui in a bad mask.

Okay, fine, �The Royal�. Please, tell me about this lovely gimmick.

I�m here to teach you, oh yeah, about the battle format passed down in Alola for generations... The Pok�mon Battle Royal. Woo!

�But, Royal, what�s the Battle Royal?� you might ask.

Four Trainers!

Four Trainers, yeah, each pick three Pok�mon, yeah, for one big Pok�mon battle, oh yeah!

When one Trainer�s team can�t battle anymore, yeah, the Battle Royal ends! Whichever Trainer has taken out the most Pok�mon, yeah, and has the most Pok�mon left will emerge the winner. Woo!

First, just give it a shot! Pick your Pok�mon, and let�s do this!

I�ll be in the mix, too, yeah. And now we have our foursome. Woo!

What?! Gladion, too?!

Discovery! New experiences! Adventure! It�s all yours if you want it! It�s time for a Pok�mon Battle Royal! Ready...fight!

Seriously though, it�s exactly what the name implies, a 4-way Pokemon battle royale. There�s nothing particularly wrong with it, I just don�t like it. A turn-based combat system just doesn�t work right for a battle royale style fight. Thankfully, you can just do it this one time and then ignore it for the rest of the game.

How odd that �The Royal� uses the same Pokemon as Professor Kukui, talks just like him, and doesn�t wear a shirt just like him. Kukui must be a big fan.

I lost, which doesn�t matter in the slightest, and no I�m not counting it as a loss for Nuzlocke purposes, because gently caress you, that�s why.

.

You�re way overselling this, it�s really not that interesting.

So what do you think? It�s easy to have a fun time with Battle Royal. Woo! You even have a shot at beating real tough opponents this way, yeah?

I have a shot at beating tough opponents anyway, it�s kind of how the game works.

This rear end in a top hat is an important character who I should grab a headshot of for dialogue, but the camera stays focused on his chest this whole drat time.

The name�s Kiawe, the Fire captain. You can get to Wela Volcano Park from Route 7. I�ll be waiting on the peak. If you plan to see your island challenge through to the end, climb to the top with your strongest team!

Yeah, sure, I�ll get right on that.

For gently caress�s sake, if you�re going to do this stupid bullshit, could you at least try to stay in character? I am embarrassed to loving know you.

But, Mr. Masked Royal...

You too.

Oh! I get it! Because of our amulets, huh?

Well, I�m having a blast!

But why are you here? Why would you even wanna do a Battle Royal? You still trying to get stronger or something? Or maybe you just want to make some friends? Heh heh!

I�m not here to play. I�m here because you can�t protect anything when you�re weak.

...Wow. You�re just a ray of sunshine, eh? I think you�d have a lot more fun if you just let yourself have a good time with everybody else. You can do a lot more together, too!

Well, I don�t know what his deal is, but I thought that battle was just plain fun! That�s why I�m gonna keep doing Battle Royals. And my Pok�mon seem to like them, too!

Yeah sure, you keep doing that Hau. I ain�t gonna stop you if you�re having fun, just don�t count on me joining in.

The Daemonidex is absolutely right, next goal is the volcano,which is off route 7, which is� I�ll figure that out next time.

In the meantime though, I made many new friends this update, which means I require many names!

# ¿ Nov 24, 2022 02:49

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Let's Nuzlocke Pokemon Ultra Moon