- magic cactus
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We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
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it's friday night and my wife and kids have gone to her mother's place for the weekend. 72 hours of primo me time. i know just what to do. i look over my vhs collection and pluck a tape labeled SUBWAY EMPLOYEE TRAINING '89 from the shelf. as i slide the tape into my vcr and press play, i am greeted by the warm, inoffensive tones of corporate muzak. on screen, a pair of gloved hands gently massage a bread roll
"oh yeah. that's the good stuff" i mutter under my breath.
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Jun 29, 2020 00:12
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 12, 2024 17:30
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- The Voice of Labor
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given the absolute state of the forums I do have to ask what prompted the wife to get herself and the kids out of the house for the weekend.
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Jun 29, 2020 00:51
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- Prof. Crocodile
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me: honey, that is an old sandwich wrapper. it's ancient, it's from before we even met. it means nothing to me, I just don't clean the workshop as thoroughly as we clean the rest of the ho--
*my wife tearfully pulls open a drawer, filled to the brim with sandwich wrappers*
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Jun 29, 2020 01:10
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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*me dropping my bae back off at her place of work, casually placing her on the the counter and trying to leave without being noticed*
mcdonalds employee: "sir? i'm not sure i can give you a refund on this mcchicken sandwich unless you have a receipt..."
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Jun 29, 2020 01:57
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- nut
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ya that's what it's for
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Jun 29, 2020 03:04
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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hole or no, bahn mi is waifu 4 lyfe don't even trip
spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot
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Jun 29, 2020 04:04
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- Slumpy
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I CHALLENGE YOU NOT TO CUM TO THIS SANDWICH IN 10 SECONDS
slumpy
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Jun 29, 2020 16:51
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- nut
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fuckbap.net
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#
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Jun 29, 2020 17:01
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- Finger Prince
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Watching tv with your parents when a Subway ad comes on and you sit there in awkward silence.
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#
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Jun 29, 2020 17:10
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- nut
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gawker taken down after leaking the hulk hoagie sex tape
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Jun 29, 2020 17:16
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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me: so uh, i mean you look like a sexy hoagie but uh... you have to tell me if you're a cop right?
undercover cop posing as a hoagie: 
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Jun 29, 2020 17:35
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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gawker taken down after leaking the hulk hoagie sex tape
spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot
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Jun 29, 2020 17:38
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- magic cactus
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We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
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creepy guy walking over to his hook-up's house:
*opens door* hello? is anybody here?
*looks at the smucker's uncrustable sitting on the table*
chris hansen: why don't you have a seat right over here.
Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!
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Jun 29, 2020 17:43
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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creepy guy walking over to his hook-up's house:
*opens door* hello? is anybody here?
*looks at the smucker's uncrustable sitting on the table*
chris hansen: why don't you have a seat right over here.
spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot
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#
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Jun 29, 2020 17:43
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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creepy guy walking over to his hook-up's house:
*opens door* hello? is anybody here?
*looks at the smucker's uncrustable sitting on the table*
chris hansen: why don't you have a seat right over here.
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Jun 29, 2020 17:44
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- google THIS
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creepy guy walking over to his hook-up's house:
*opens door* hello? is anybody here?
*looks at the smucker's uncrustable sitting on the table*
chris hansen: why don't you have a seat right over here.
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Jun 29, 2020 18:09
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- Finger Prince
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If only Jared was more into sandwiches.
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Jun 29, 2020 18:35
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- nut
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creepy guy walking over to his hook-up's house:
*opens door* hello? is anybody here?
*looks at the smucker's uncrustable sitting on the table*
chris hansen: why don't you have a seat right over here.
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Jun 29, 2020 19:05
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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Told my wife the ketchup stain on my lapel was lipstick and I think she bought it 
lmao
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#
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Jun 30, 2020 15:27
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Told my wife the ketchup stain on my lapel was lipstick and I think she bought it
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#
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Jun 30, 2020 17:05
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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going to a stag party and giggling and clapping with glee after I open my bros gift to me: a brand new sandwich maker
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Jun 30, 2020 17:07
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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and then the openly kinky one gives me a panini press 
lol
jersey shore episode where the oily dudes in tank tops talk about paninis in vivid detail for twenty minutes straight
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Jun 30, 2020 17:18
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- magic cactus
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We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
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Told my wife the ketchup stain on my lapel was lipstick and I think she bought it
Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!
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Jun 30, 2020 17:23
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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is a hot dog a sandwich? i need to know if I'm bisexual or not
technically it's a soup
spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot
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Jun 30, 2020 19:46
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 12, 2024 17:30
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- Finger Prince
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Ordered chili in a bread bowl and now I'm on a watch list.
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Jun 30, 2020 21:27
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Jun 29, 2020 00:12
