Evil Bob posted:

After seeing my briefcase which is stuffed with important legal documents pushing the flimsy locks to their breaking point, my barista takes what feels like an eternity steaming the milk for my double venti triple double shot quadruple latte.

His eyes glaze over as he slips into a semi lucid state. Milk froth is pouring all over the floor, but he is oblivious to this fact.

"You know," he says "seeing your briefcase, your eyes which tell a tale of long nights pouring over case files. They remind me of a different time in my life"

At this point there is no milk left in the pot. Steam is simply streaming out unabated as the room becomes a thick fog of milky water vapor. I don't think this will be the best double venti triple double shot quadruple latte i've ever ordered.

My barista recaptures my gaze

"I was a lawyer once, i was renowned for my ability to defend the downtrodden. Always standing for what was right. But that all came crashing down. In law, the cases make you or the break you. And my last case, it broke me."

He continues

"It all started on the day I met a man named Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka, I thought his needs were for his website - Something Lawful - but I had misheard. That moment changed my course forever, and it's how i find myself here, now. I pay pennance by trying to keep young upstarts like yourself from making the same mistake"

Finally I could take it no longer. I responded.

"Can you start my drink over LOL, i don't think its supposed to be steamed that long."