Fellow Yobbers, How do you take your coffee?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Fellow Yobbers, How do you take your coffee?

«‹›2 »

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

This is a thread where you can do many things. :coffeepal:

You can serious post about how you painstakingly grow your own beans and then eat and digest them to mimic the popular Kopi Luwak coffee of indonesia prior to roasting, grinding, and ultimately brewing and consuming your coffee.

Maybe you want to extol the virtues of pour over coffee to your less civilized drip coffee drinkers of the forums.

Maybe you just want to make some funny coffee related jokes.

Maybe you just want to nod your head along to these posts as you sip your coffee at your desk. It's all welcome here, even if you need to gross post about how coffee impacts your morning "Routine."

I'm a french press yobber, I like to drink coffee black, but most of the time these days I go with a little sugar and half and half.

Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Jul 20, 2020

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 18:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 19, 2024 06:11

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

xcheopis posted:

I was fairly poor when I first started drinking coffee and didn't want to use up milk or sugar, so I grimly set myself to only drinking black coffee. These days, even mochas are too sweet for me most of the time, so obviously that was a great success.

No fancy tools, just a 4-cup drip coffeemaker because I don't want to wait around for my caffeine.

Fun fact: I'm down to one 4-cup (about one large travel mug's worth) from two or more full pots a day.

Wow that fact IS fun. Way to wrangle your caffeine consumption, do you drink coffee on the weekend?

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 18:42

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

prepuce repurposed posted:

op u are not going to like this v much but i avoid all caffeine at all times. it doesn't work well with weed. feels like 2 opposing forces playing tug of war with my brain. furthermore i would argue that while weed is inherently chill, coffee is inherently unchill. it makes u work faster and accomplish things which runs counter to my deliberately nonproductive way of life. also it makes ppl chatty like at a cocaine party which i do NOT care for.

buying a coffee is like buying a dodge ram. ppl will notice u bought it and then you'll be helping them move house and now that's the rest of ur day

Thank u for your feedback. I however like to enjoy a joint (or more likely the previous nights half smoked joint) with my coffee on the weekends, if the timing works out. The Ol' stoner speed ball. Often times it puts me in a good state to get crackin on yardwork, or in a good state to sit on the couch and play video games, or maybe to just put a record on and chill while i drink my coffee.

I must disagree with coffee being "inherently unchill." Chattiness is not alone a symptom of being unchill, Cafe's and other sites of coffee consumption are often known for being chill af. Also, i find that often caffeine lowers my attention span and keeps me from getting TOO much done at work all at once so that way people don't know im a complete freakin genius, and instead i just spend the first couple hours of work being alert, but unproductive.

Wow coffee effects us all in different ways, huh?

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 19:03

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

I'm gonna bump this thread tomorrow when I'm drinkin my coffee, so when you see it tomorrow... you'll know whats up.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 20:20

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Sometimes coffee triggers my anxiety but sometimes thats a trip i just gotta take.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 20:57

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

So you drink your coffee more for the Great, Big dicks, than for the coffee itself huh? Just make sure those Great, Big dicks are sustainably farmed!

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 21:11

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Wow we are really gaining some traction here folks, and finding the yobbers enjoy their coffee in many different ways!

Finger Prince posted:

No, you're not imagining things. Tim Hortons used to be an acceptable, if rough and requiring cream to temper it, caffeine delivery mechanism. These days, pretty much since they merged with Burger King, it is entirely rear end tasting, and the working class coffee of preference is slowly moving over to McDonald's, who is rumored to have taken over Tim Hortons old supplier. I have no data to support this and it is entirely based on Canadian Apocrypha.

I usually make a hand pour-over because the equipment takes up the least amount of space and requires the least amount of cleanup.

Wow Canadians are smart AND mysterious.

Manifisto posted:

I've said it before, but I am a fan of the clever coffee dripper. it combines the benefits of the french press and the pourover. it produces strong coffee like a french press because the grounds are steeped. unlike a french press, the filter gets rid of the mud/sediment. unlike a pourover, you don't have to hover over it to add more water every so often, you just set a timer and let the water filter through into the mug when you're ready.

Forum's user Manifisto has done the math and 1+2=coffee time

Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:

if i go buy a coffee somewhere, it's always a coffee regular, binch

if you don't know what a coffee regular is then ur probably not from New England

What is a coffee regular? I thought New England was just another fictional place, like "New Vegas" or "New Orleans" some of us just like the originals, right!?

Doctor Dogballs posted:

black, pourover, freshly ground beans

Doctor Dogballs is nothing if not incredibly classy.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2020 22:42

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

I went to vancouver and my buddy made me go to tim hortons and get a double double. Not my style but everyone does coffee different

# ¿ Jul 21, 2020 04:19

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Just adding this whole "coffee regular" to my list of reasons that the east coast is weird af.

Anyway, got some beans from brazil in my cup this morning. This roast is a little light for my taste but it does come through nice and milk chocolatey especially with a splash of half and half and about a 1/2tsp of white sugar.

Oh, and fresh tobacco on the aftertaste, which sounds like it might be a gross taste descriptor but mmm that is nice

# ¿ Jul 21, 2020 16:23

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

I'll have an iced tea regular thx

# ¿ Jul 21, 2020 20:47

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Pahilla the Hun posted:

you mean a regular iced tea?

# ¿ Jul 21, 2020 23:00

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Another day, another coffee. This time in convenient travel mug form. Having coffee from home and it staying warm forever is nice. But I miss those aromas.

They say aroma accounts for 69% of flavor.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 15:59

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

City of Glompton posted:

asking for unsweet bimbo, getting dirty looks from the locals

We call that an abnormal bimbo around here

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 16:12

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Joey McChrist posted:

i just find the laziest, fastest way to get a palatable cup of brown juice into myself in the morning so i'm not a shambling corpse.

From 2013 to 2019 m-f coffee was the same for me. I just drank the burnt brown jet fuel that was in the pot at work so i could be a good little productive boy. Saturdays were often my refuge for good coffee, either from a local coffee shop or the french press.

An event took place in early 2019 that kept my wife at home for a few months and she started making coffee for me in the mornings. Now I can never go back. Please don't make me.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 21:47

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Nosfereefer posted:

realpost, i like my coffee w/o sexism

I hope all of my fellow yobbers itt take their coffee this way

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 21:49

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Finger Prince posted:

Hmm, what do we have here... Shade grown, Organic, Fairtrade, Rainforest Alliance, Bird Friendly... so far so good... wait what's this, WOMAN'S CO-OP?! Sorry, no deal, coffee misandrists!

Where's your equality now!!!

# ¿ Jul 22, 2020 22:48

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

dsipal posted:

r u guys talking bout that bean juice that makes u go poo

Yes. YES! Bean Juice an important part of a balanced poop session

# ¿ Jul 23, 2020 16:15

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Macnult posted:

i get coffee beans from a local cafe, then add oat milk and maple syrup

that makes my favorite cup of coffee

People really like their oat milk, i gotta give it a try. Does it leave floaties in the coffee like almond and soy milk do tho? Or does it mix nicely like real milk/cream does?

# ¿ Jul 23, 2020 16:30

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Alright I'm gonna try it! I've never been a big fan of milk anyway aside from in my coffee. I use milk alternatives for everything but coffee and cooking. Oatmilk here I come zoom zoom

# ¿ Jul 23, 2020 17:33

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

BYOatmilkB

# ¿ Jul 23, 2020 22:20

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

I woke to find only enough grounds for a half pot. im hosed

# ¿ Jul 24, 2020 15:39

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Stooge posted:

Finally a cup i can get in front of though. :pervert:

# ¿ Jul 24, 2020 22:20

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

idiotsavant posted:

which cup do i have to suck off to get some coffee around here

# ¿ Jul 25, 2020 07:23

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Bought some new beans this weekend. Coffee this morning was wonderful and I imagine I'll be headed to the bathroom right on time today.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2020 16:40

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Pahilla the Hun posted:

i don't ask i just TAKE it

that's how i take my coffee

any other questions??????!!!???

I know what you�re thinking. Did he order his latte with six shots of espresso or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I�ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you�ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 00:55

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Dick Bastardly posted:

black, no sugar or cream

One might say black as midnight on a moonless night.

drat fine

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 01:32

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Dick Bastardly posted:

i straight up have eaten unground roasted coffee beans and will again

thats how I grind my beans, I just take a handful and chew em up then spit em into the french press

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 01:41

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Finger Prince posted:

But being as this is a 20oz Venti, the largest latte in the world, and would blow your rear end clean out, you've got to ask yourself one question: do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

thank u for this, this has inspired me to try harder next time before I :justpost:

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 01:42

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Thunder Moose posted:

I TAKE IT FROM THE HAND OF MY SWORN ENEMIES

After we hash out our problems verbally over a plate of watercress sandwiches.

They're far more amenable to providing caffeinated beverages afterwards.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 05:31

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Chrs posted:

I�ve had Kopi Luwak and when you grind it your house does indeed smell like poo poo

ur supposed to wash it first dude lol, or maybe mine just wasnt as good =(

Stooge posted:

Would you drink coffee if there was a fish in the percolator

y/n

Only a sip which I would politely spit back into my mug and place back upon the table.

Evil Bob fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Jul 28, 2020

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 16:18

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

This morning I am drinking my coffee and working real hard... at posting! this is what I do first and it is critical to my workflow for the rest of the day.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2020 16:18

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Chunderstorm posted:

i�m a french press kinda guy; if the coffee�s poo poo i�ll take some oat milk or creamer. if it�s good i take it black. either way about an hour later i take a poo poo.

mmm coffee +1 hour

# ¿ Jul 29, 2020 05:13

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

idiotsavant posted:

jesus woke up real tired and cranky one morning and the lamb kofta he ate the night before was a little disagreeable in his tummy so he took a poo poo on a boulder and it split open and a frothy bubbling of rich, black coffee came spilling out and still flows to this very day

This makes me question the origins of creamer... perhaps you can enlighten me

# ¿ Jul 29, 2020 14:59

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

in the office today so I travel mugged my coffee. well when I got here I decided I wanted a regular mug and I managed to spill coffee everywhere while attempting the transfer.

if this affects my 9am poo poo I�m gonna be pissed

# ¿ Jul 29, 2020 16:15

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

szkud posted:

black and warm. sometimes I add milk to cool it down. I make a french-press pot to share with breakfast. still going through all the local roasters to find a favorite

first thing when I wake up, I have a Nespresso and I make the biggest shot it will make out of a single pod ['Lugo' ~4oz] in a rocks glass then add about 2oz of cold water from the fridge so I can drink it immediately
I call it a 'Cool Americano' and it gets a laugh about 10% of the time

I would gently caress with this

I enjoy iced americano�s on hot days

# ¿ Jul 29, 2020 17:15

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Johnny Joestar posted:

my body can't handle coffee and it mostly makes my stomach feel terrible for a while along with giving me a headache

i usually get caffeine, if any, from either tea or some caffeinated squeezy water add-in stuff that's like a cool fruit flavor

also my thai coworker makes us macha tea near every day he's there for the people who work with him directly

I love matcha! too bad about coffee though. I truly love it, so much :3:

# ¿ Jul 30, 2020 05:21

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Having my morning cup in a mug that has 2 farting beans on it that says "Happy Farter's Day"

# ¿ Jul 30, 2020 16:15

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

Listen honestly I don't know poo poo about kopi luwak, just that its kinda novelty.

That being said the first time I had it was in Bali, after a tour of a coffee plantation and meeting the civets that pooped the beans and then seeing how they are cleaned and roasted. Then finally we all sat down at a table, watched coffee be made, had it poured for us and the host rolled me up a balinese tobacco cigarette to enjoy.

They also provided us a tray of different teas to try that they produced there.

So my experience of Kopi Luwak has a lot more going on then just brewin poop beans.

I would never pay some extreme amount of money to have it in america.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2020 18:30

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

That sounds excellent, what do you use to make your espresso at home?

# ¿ Jul 31, 2020 05:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 19, 2024 06:11

Evil Bob: 've lived a thousand times. I found out what it means to be GBS.

The_Rob posted:

I�m a professional coffee roaster which is great because I never buy coffee.

Can I order a personal amount of beans from you just for fun?

# ¿ Jul 31, 2020 17:11

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Fellow Yobbers, How do you take your coffee?

«‹›2 »