Some witches from TikTok hexed the moon

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Some witches from TikTok hexed the moon

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

Terebus posted:

Yo, you're being racist against all elf-kind. I'm a quarter elf, and I'm gonna hex u. Camovu rosii o sa suceavu duguid

fuckin keebler rear end e.l. fudge thranduil motherfucker, get your pretty boy elk riding rear end down to the Sonic on San Pedro, I'll gently caress your beren and luthien rear end up

# ? Jul 21, 2020 03:55

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# ? May 6, 2024 03:48

Shneak: Mar 6, 2015; A sad Professor Plum
sitting on a toilet.

Puppy Time posted:

I was hoping to see tiktoks of people actually hexing the moon

I appreciate the non-moon-hexing examples but I still feel very let down.

I think they do that offline otherwise their bloodlines get cursed for eternity or something, sorry!

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:03

Bonaventure: Jun 23, 2005; by sebmojo

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

YOU HAVE ANGERED APOLLO, YOU WILL loving PAY THE PRICE FOR THIS! YOU ARE MAKING THE PANDEMIC WORSE BY HEXING THE MOON!!

*me sweating* drat.... that sshit so cool...

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:11

Spectracide: May 27, 2004; IT'S ARGH, BABY!

someone get riff raff to check on the moon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04UJeSOxKoA

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:14

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Have no fear we have our greatest witchdoctors hexing the poo poo out of the pandemic

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:20

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

I just unhexed the moon don't worry guys.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:32

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

It's usually about #D3D3D3, hope that helps

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:46

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

If what these witches are saying is true, they're messing with some powerful forces. I'm just thankful it doesn't seem to affect anyone else.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:50

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

I've never been so concerned for witchcraft's future as I am today. Yes, this is about the tik t*k thing.

It disturbs me to see a lot of young people falling into the kind of traps that cults use to keep people invested, like encouraging everyone to interpret every little thing as some magical omen that is also part of the same big narrative (like the m**n h3x, and the fallout of people thinking the moon was in danger or hurt, and then all these other people being like �the gods are going to kill them� like holy poo poo calm down). It�s a culture of �yes, and�, as long as the pieces you add fit the story. Witchcraft isn�t an RPG. This isn�t LARP. This isn�t cooperative storytelling. I�m super worried for these young people convincing themselves that mega-fantastical happenings are 100% fact.

Because in a storm of complete irony, that�s exactly the kind of mindset that caused the Salem Witch Trials� a bunch of kids convincing themselves that their scary stories were real, �yes, and�ing each other, collective storytelling, feeding into this narrative that did a lot of major, deadly harm to a lot of innocent people. By blaming every little thing on witchcraft, they created a terrifying reality for themselves where evil was everywhere and occult forces controlled everything, and since everybody basically just accepted their stories as facts, people took very real, drastic action with long-term effects and devastating ramifications.

So just be really, really careful. If you see someone on the internet say something wild like �I put a h*x on the sun!� or whatever, DON�T let your first impulse be �oh my god, this is why the sun�s energy has been off and why it�s been cloudy! This is why I�ve felt so crappy!� THINK. Remember that correlation does not equal causation, and also that when it comes to stuff people say online, you can�t even assume correlation, because you have no idea whether anyone is ever telling the truth about anything.

I won�t pretend that witchcraft doesn�t frequently work through placebo effect, but you can and should draw lines between reasonable and unreasonable things witchcraft can do. And especially since good witchcraft does require some degree of ability to suspend your disbelief in bizarre ideas, you really really really need to stay on your toes� stay critical, stay sharp, and constantly question everything anyone says to you. Including other witches. Especially other witches. Other witches are out of their drat minds sometimes! Stay grounded, critical, and think for yourself.

If you came to witchcraft to get sucked into a fantasy world, to be someone important, to imagine you live in a world where someone can make war on the moon and others can heal it, and if you want to be part of a story so badly that you think you can feel the moon�s pain, if you�re afraid to ask �why should I believe that?� or �what are the mundane psychological reasons this could be happening?�, if you�re here to play pretend with each other� you�re not here for the right reasons.

And, in fact, being here is probably dangerous for you. You need to have a grip on reality to do this kind of work. Not because demons or spirits are going to mess you up or anything, but because it�s dangerous to convince yourself of a fantasy, and it�s dangerous to engage so much with a belief system that you can easily use to justify that fantasy.

Witchcraft is not escapism. Don't use it for escapism.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:58

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

I'm going to bounce my genjutsu off the moon

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:59

Excelzior: Jun 24, 2013

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

I've never been so concerned for witchcraft's future as I am today. Yes, this is about the tik t*k thing.

It disturbs me to see a lot of young people falling into the kind of traps that cults use to keep people invested, like encouraging everyone to interpret every little thing as some magical omen that is also part of the same big narrative (like the m**n h3x, and the fallout of people thinking the moon was in danger or hurt, and then all these other people being like �the gods are going to kill them� like holy poo poo calm down). It�s a culture of �yes, and�, as long as the pieces you add fit the story. Witchcraft isn�t an RPG. This isn�t LARP. This isn�t cooperative storytelling. I�m super worried for these young people convincing themselves that mega-fantastical happenings are 100% fact.

Because in a storm of complete irony, that�s exactly the kind of mindset that caused the Salem Witch Trials� a bunch of kids convincing themselves that their scary stories were real, �yes, and�ing each other, collective storytelling, feeding into this narrative that did a lot of major, deadly harm to a lot of innocent people. By blaming every little thing on witchcraft, they created a terrifying reality for themselves where evil was everywhere and occult forces controlled everything, and since everybody basically just accepted their stories as facts, people took very real, drastic action with long-term effects and devastating ramifications.

So just be really, really careful. If you see someone on the internet say something wild like �I put a h*x on the sun!� or whatever, DON�T let your first impulse be �oh my god, this is why the sun�s energy has been off and why it�s been cloudy! This is why I�ve felt so crappy!� THINK. Remember that correlation does not equal causation, and also that when it comes to stuff people say online, you can�t even assume correlation, because you have no idea whether anyone is ever telling the truth about anything.

I won�t pretend that witchcraft doesn�t frequently work through placebo effect, but you can and should draw lines between reasonable and unreasonable things witchcraft can do. And especially since good witchcraft does require some degree of ability to suspend your disbelief in bizarre ideas, you really really really need to stay on your toes� stay critical, stay sharp, and constantly question everything anyone says to you. Including other witches. Especially other witches. Other witches are out of their drat minds sometimes! Stay grounded, critical, and think for yourself.

If you came to witchcraft to get sucked into a fantasy world, to be someone important, to imagine you live in a world where someone can make war on the moon and others can heal it, and if you want to be part of a story so badly that you think you can feel the moon�s pain, if you�re afraid to ask �why should I believe that?� or �what are the mundane psychological reasons this could be happening?�, if you�re here to play pretend with each other� you�re not here for the right reasons.

And, in fact, being here is probably dangerous for you. You need to have a grip on reality to do this kind of work. Not because demons or spirits are going to mess you up or anything, but because it�s dangerous to convince yourself of a fantasy, and it�s dangerous to engage so much with a belief system that you can easily use to justify that fantasy.

Witchcraft is not escapism. Don't use it for escapism.

I put a hex on your posting

# ? Jul 21, 2020 04:59

Skeleton Ape: Dec 21, 2008

I just hexed the whole goddamn Sombrero Galaxy, how do you like that? :mad:

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:05

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Skeleton Ape posted:

I just hexed the whole goddamn Sombrero Galaxy, how do you like that?

You will suffer for this. You have ANGERED the gods and your comeuppance shall be swift and painful, I hope you are prepared for me and several other teens from Twitter with avatars of cartoons to cast spells on you, thereby ending your entire life.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:19

OMFG FURRY: Jul 10, 2006; [snarky comment]

dont worry thread, i smudged at the moon and everything is okay, the hex is lifted

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:22

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I summoned a fae without protection spells and proceeded to call it a "bitch idiot" and other extremely damaging insults for thirty minutes as it stammered ineffectual responses in fear of my baby witch depravity, at the end I said "I did this on behalf of the whole of humanity, we all met in a council and decided on this, every human being thinks the fae are huge loving losers. Come at us with your best shot you idiots."

I will continue angering the Gods and fae in a myriad of ways until the witches promise to stop indoctrinating teenagers with stuff that will cause them to have panic attacks over meaningless garbage or engage in spiralling self-fulfilling prophecies because Mercury is in retrograde.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:28

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I can't be stopped, any attempt at hexing me will be negated with my own personal spell that I have dubbed "I am rubber and you are glue."

This spell angered Zeus.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:30

Inverted Icon: Apr 8, 2020; by Athanatos

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I summoned a fae without protection spells and proceeded to call it a "bitch idiot" and other extremely damaging insults for thirty minutes as it stammered ineffectual responses in fear of my baby witch depravity, at the end I said "I did this on behalf of the whole of humanity, we all met in a council and decided on this, every human being thinks the fae are huge loving losers. Come at us with your best shot you idiots."

I will continue angering the Gods and fae in a myriad of ways until the witches promise to stop indoctrinating teenagers with stuff that will cause them to have panic attacks over meaningless garbage or engage in spiralling self-fulfilling prophecies because Mercury is in retrograde.

This actually explains a lot

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:32

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

is there any rule that says a 30 year old man can't be a tiktok witch?

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:35

great big cardboard tube: Sep 3, 2003

TheAardvark posted:

is there any rule that says a 30 year old man can't be a tiktok witch?

Yeah sorry bud you can only be a tiktok warlock, them's the breaks

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:41

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Can you vote from the app?

Edit: nevermind found the 1 in the menu

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:42

vandalism: Aug 4, 2003

Haha Nice Try But The Moon Is Not Real.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:43

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Wendigee posted:

Can you vote from the app?

Edit: nevermind found the 1 in the menu

my scrying ball says u didn't edit this at all .. .

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:44

Corn Glizzy: Jun 28, 2007

I put on my robe and wizard hat

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:45

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Wendigee posted:

Can you vote from the app?

Edit: nevermind found the 1 in the menu

this is a FAKE edit people. i call on all the other noble magyk users to join me in cursing this demon

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:46

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

TheAardvark posted:

this is a FAKE edit people. i call on all the other noble magyk users to join me in cursing this demon

I cast "Protection from Bitch" on him

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:47

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I cast "Protection from Bitch" on him

but.. but.. now he's immune to u ..

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:50

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

TheAardvark posted:

but.. but.. now he's immune to u ..

Mmm no he's immune to me because you had cast "Protection from Homosexuality" on him.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:55

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

I like to spell it "wytch" sometimes.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 05:57

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

Grevling posted:

I like to spell it "wytch" sometimes.

Whi?

# ? Jul 21, 2020 06:08

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

What's a witch's favorite shape?

# ? Jul 21, 2020 06:29

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

I think it would be funny if a lot of people started hexing the moon, just bandwagon on and see how much of a meltdown the pro-moon people have.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 06:49

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

super sweet best pal posted:

I think it would be funny if a lot of people started hexing the moon, just bandwagon on and see how much of a meltdown the pro-moon people have.

I'm already hexing it daily

# ? Jul 21, 2020 06:50

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Alpha, the moon has been hexed. Get me tiktok witches with attitude

# ? Jul 21, 2020 06:56

Grevling: Dec 18, 2016

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Whi?

Are you hexing me right now?

# ? Jul 21, 2020 07:03

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008; Can't post for 5 days!

You can't hex the moon because the moon isn't real. Don't you know Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landing on a soundstage in hollywood?

# ? Jul 21, 2020 07:06

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Always remember to decant your hexes with reason and proof. If you cast action into the future and disrupt the flow of time without reason you lose your ability to reason. Pro tip. :shuckyes:

# ? Jul 21, 2020 07:09

Internetjack: Sep 15, 2007; oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers; Top Cop

While fully tripping on LSD one night years ago, I saw the moon come flying down out of the sky, circle my friend's head 2-3 times and then soar back up to its place in the sky. I told him so and his face split into nine smaller faces. The flowers continued to dance and we had a good laugh wondering if we had poo poo our pants. Amazingly We had not poo poo our pants!

Baby witches have nothing on Akira and Tetsuo though. Akira is all "The moon.." and Tetsuo is all "On it." loving that poo poo up bad.

I think given my extensive moon experience with drugs and comics, we will be okay this go-around.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 07:09