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For the past month I've been spending time with my elderly parents and immersing myself in the world of the Florida Retirement Community. My mother, being an older woman, enjoys every variety of diet colas and when needs must, will purchase the store brands. Publix, one of the local grocery establishments, makes a fine diet cola, however, I recently read the label out of sheer boredom. What I found has perplexed me greatly. jesus christ |
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Jul 25, 2020 18:57
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:25 |
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its a haiku if you read the whole label bottom to top bubbly. nothing to lose. sparkle, down-low, leaded diet cola. p |
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Jul 25, 2020 19:20
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WHERE DO I FIND THE UNLEADED DIET COLA??
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Jul 25, 2020 19:26
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those goddamn feds took the lead out of the air where am i supposed to gtet my lead???? dig it out of the dirt?? |
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Jul 25, 2020 19:34
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Jul 25, 2020 19:54
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 I can vaguely kind of see how associating your product with a clandestine gay affair might be a cutting-edge marketing technique, but associating your product designed for consumption with literal poison is . . . well, a death cult is one theory. or maybe they just replaced their marketing department with talk to transformer.
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Jul 25, 2020 19:56
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Manifisto posted:
Yes, I certainly found out odd that in the year 2020 that this diet cola was still in the closet, but that, of course, is the cola's business. But the words LEADED and NOTHING TO LOSE are intensely worrying. |
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Jul 25, 2020 20:03
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Jul 25, 2020 20:04
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That "nothing to lose" is between "sparkle" and "bubbly" makes it read like a cry for help at the cup factory. ICE COLD forgiveness REFRESHMENT god help me FIZZY what if I'm wrong about everything DRINKS *curls, weeping, over Adobe Illustrator*
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Jul 25, 2020 20:04
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why is the person surrendering
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Jul 25, 2020 20:16
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:That "nothing to lose" is between "sparkle" and "bubbly" makes it read like a cry for help at the cup factory.
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Jul 25, 2020 20:22
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It definitely needs to be 1.4 fl oz bigger too |
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Jul 25, 2020 20:35
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publicx is great man, love to get a publix sub |
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Jul 25, 2020 21:17
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i dont really want them to lix my pubs |
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Jul 25, 2020 23:00
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poisoned submissive greasy ready to die jizzy
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Jul 25, 2020 23:04
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Look, when you take the lead out of gasoline you have to put it in something else or old folks just don't run right. Granma knocking and pinging all over the place is NOT a pretty sight!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 25, 2020 23:14
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FutonForensic posted:poisoned carcinogenic yiffing pyrotechnic on the road to hell bilious
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Jul 25, 2020 23:40
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Action movie trailer guy: He's leaded. (gunshots) AMTG: Down-low. (Die Hard style crawling through ductwork sequence) AMTG: Sparkle. (twinkling) AMTG: With nothing to lose. (screaming) AMTG: This summer, Publix Diet Cola is...Bubbly. (electric guitar riff over the movie title) |
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Jul 25, 2020 23:53
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google THIS posted:Action movie trailer guy: He's leaded. |
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Jul 26, 2020 00:05
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Jul 26, 2020 00:06
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:That "nothing to lose" is between "sparkle" and "bubbly" makes it read like a cry for help at the cup factory. Juicy Natural Refreshing Nothing to live for Low carb |
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Jul 26, 2020 00:08
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| Getting my dick sucked on the down-low, drinking down-low diet soda | |
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Jul 26, 2020 00:09
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cda posted:Juicy lmao |
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Jul 26, 2020 00:13
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Frosty Delicious Hydration I'm sorry I yelled, I'm sorry, okay? I said I was sorry!!!! Summertime Lemon-lime Please don't tell anyone I'm camping under my desk while we work out the divorce Sippin'
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Jul 26, 2020 02:06
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Yeah well - you get better MPG with the leaded cola 
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Jul 26, 2020 07:53
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| The lead weighs down the bubbles so it stays fizzy for longer | |
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Jul 26, 2020 08:03
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Jul 26, 2020 19:49
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Ready to get locked and leaded? Down-low your favorite songs. |
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Jul 26, 2020 20:58
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I eat a roast beef sandwich from publix almost every single day of my life. I hope they are also unleaded. |
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Jul 27, 2020 03:27
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unknown butthole posted:I eat a roast beef sandwich from publix almost every single day of my life. I hope they are also unleaded. Nothing to lose |
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Jul 27, 2020 04:14
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Publix chicken tenders and fried chicken generally are A+ but I don’t like their produce but there is one 1500’ from my house so I make do. Honestly if they throw a little lead in stuff every now and then for flavor I could forgive them
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Jul 27, 2020 04:31
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They do this real danged good Cake with Really light white icing And fruit and jam in the middle which maybe is called a chantilly cake and wow it is good it has some berries in it so it’s basically healthy. If they were using white lead to make their icing white, honestly I could forgive them.
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Jul 27, 2020 04:33
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It’s hard to find premade deviled eggs too but Publix has them! They are not the best deviled eggs I ever ate, but they are pretty decent (who ever heard of a bad deviled egg!?!!) and honestly if they had a little lead in them I could forgive them.
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Jul 27, 2020 04:35
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Their Publix brand Caesar croutons are also really good and just take a salad to that next level and so convenient! Sometimes I just eat the croutons as a snack like chips or crackers. Nice and crunchy with just the right amount of garlick and honestly if they put a little lead in them I could forgive them.
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Jul 27, 2020 04:37
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I have to say I am also a big fan of the deli counter and bakery at Publix. Good boars head meats and they Have this really good bread called mountain bread or something baked fresh in the store and pre-sliced and dang it is so good. I wouldn’t be surprised if it has a little lead in it, but even if it did I could forgive them!
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Jul 27, 2020 04:40
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Those are just a few of my favorite (potentially lead based) products from Publix!
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Jul 27, 2020 04:40
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The only other thing I would say about Publix is that the employees are all sooooo friendly and nice! Always happy to look for something in the back for you or order something or break down a big package! It’s probably from all the lead they feed them, but honestly I can forgive them-the results are sure worth it!
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Jul 27, 2020 04:42
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down the hatch, or your money back.
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Jul 27, 2020 05:19
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Putty posted:The lead weighs down the bubbles so it stays fizzy for longer
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Jul 27, 2020 05:29
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| # ? May 5, 2024 22:25 |
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E Plumbium Cola
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Jul 27, 2020 05:51
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