August 2020 current events featuring Mr. Nice!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > August 2020 current events featuring Mr. Nice!

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Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

facialimpediment posted:

Y'all got some reading to do.

https://twitter.com/JoshNBCNews/status/1289574333459783680?s=19

Just don't read the replies. Actually don't read any Twitter replies

# ¿ Aug 1, 2020 16:58

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 08:14

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1289643819558830081?s=20

# ¿ Aug 1, 2020 20:43

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/DavidLarter/status/1290224863198605317?s=19

Age 19-23, what a waste

# ¿ Aug 3, 2020 16:01

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

facialimpediment posted:

At this point, I bet the only way you'd get his followers into masks is if you sold MAGA masks on the online store like Parscale wanted to. Until then, his voters will tell him to gently caress right off.

When we picked up the uhaul trailer Sunday, a dude in 40s walking out was wearing a Blue Lives Matter mask and this is the new grift. "Own the libs with your MAGA mask!!!"

# ¿ Aug 4, 2020 02:39

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Defenestrategy posted:

I wonder how the president keeps escaping Covid. Maybe this really is the simulation screwing with us.

Good genes!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/351120640180355072?s=19

# ¿ Aug 6, 2020 17:52

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Betcha that Trump honestly thinks the Onion's Diamond Joe stories were true.

Never forget this is man who called to find out if Vince McMahon was okay after a RAW episode ended with his limo exploding

# ¿ Aug 6, 2020 20:19

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

hobbesmaster posted:

Do you not remember the Lewinsky scandal?

Pundit answer: I can't remember more than 6 months in the past. Also, Joe should really be careful who he picks as VP as I might have to vote for Trump again

CSPAM answer: I only remember sailor

# ¿ Aug 7, 2020 17:23

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

That Works posted:

Billionaires become 2x billionaires just by sitting still. Great system.

If only someone wrote about this, perhaps proposed a new economic system. How well, dead money is gonna choke the system to death

# ¿ Aug 8, 2020 14:46

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/SevaUT/status/1292595676531118081?s=20

# ¿ Aug 10, 2020 01:55

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://www.military.com/daily-news/2020/08/10/service-chiefs-secdef-stop-handover-of-military-hospitals-defense-health-agency.html/amp

At least Vas got paid (I hope)

# ¿ Aug 10, 2020 23:59

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

facialimpediment posted:

gently caress OHIO

Unfortunately, Purdue won't have the opportunity to beat IU this year. Fortunately, the plague vector that is sports will be contained

# ¿ Aug 11, 2020 19:57

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

facialimpediment posted:

Donnie's got a hilarious nothing and they're going to try to turn a loving cop into AOC .

https://twitter.com/daveweigel/status/1293288084604440583?s=20

Just throwing everything against the wall and hoping something will stick. I am sure Rush will have the true facts that this Biden-Harris ticket is really a Marxist-Leninist ticket and actually Bernie & AOC

# ¿ Aug 11, 2020 22:07

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Fallom posted:

impersonating a dead politician has to be against some kind of rule on twitter, right?

right!?

https://twitter.com/yohosiefgc/status/1293751154690494464?s=20

Cain Gang at it again

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 04:50

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

pantslesswithwolves posted:

https://twitter.com/scottbix/status/1293943948956835840

Who wants to bet he’ll get longer than a minute to speak?

Wonder if he'll explain where all that money he promised to down ballot Ds is

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 18:39

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

facialimpediment posted:

2020 might be too much of a motherfucker to give us the piss tape, but we might be getting the pp book.

https://twitter.com/kyledcheney/status/1293995889502179336?s=19

Piss tape is real and nothing will sway me from that universal constant

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 21:25

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

CommieGIR posted:

https://twitter.com/HarrisonCramer/status/1294267501514240000?s=20

And now Congress will step in and right this wrong. Any day now. I am complete faith in the co-equal branch of government.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 15:08

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1294350475308027904?s=20

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 20:21

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/Phil_Lewis_/status/1294725070577963009?s=19

Good to see after the lovely Back the Blue rally in Lansing that Kalamazoo is throwing these fat loving chuds out

# ¿ Aug 15, 2020 22:36

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/politico/status/1295088096866959360?s=20

This administration

# ¿ Aug 16, 2020 22:27

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/DemSocialists/status/1295150356456906752?s=20

# ¿ Aug 17, 2020 01:16

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Hot Karl Marx posted:

https://twitter.com/kaitlancollins/...ingawful.com%2F

10am and considering just going back to bed

# ¿ Aug 18, 2020 15:11

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Trump is going to be baffled by the indifference from women toward this action much like how he was baffled when Ds were upset or at a minimum indifferent when he pardoned Blagojevich

# ¿ Aug 18, 2020 15:37

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Hot Karl Marx posted:

https://twitter.com/KrangTNelson/status/1295741452186726401?s=19

Yes Rudy, there is a chapter on neurocognitive disorders with a section and diagnostic criteria for those in decline due to Alzheimer�s Disease

# ¿ Aug 18, 2020 20:03

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Gonna go slash my tires to own the libs

# ¿ Aug 19, 2020 15:55

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/1296445692538494977?s=19

# ¿ Aug 20, 2020 15:22

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/Bogs4NY/status/1296460176074170372?s=19

We love our beautiful boaters, don't we folks

# ¿ Aug 20, 2020 16:15

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

All of the Beau Biden clips during the DNC convention really leaning into the wrong son died

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 03:40

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Acebuckeye13 posted:

biden's speech is p. solid right now imo

He is really. It is better than I thought it would be.

Of course, this is what is going to show up on FNC tomorrow
https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/1296645719131140101?s=20

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 04:14

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1296818793566568456?s=20

Just imagine I wrote a screed about operations management being a cargo cult or something

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 15:48

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/BeschlossDC/status/1297174218552102918?s=20

Looked much better before

# ¿ Aug 22, 2020 17:53

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

@realDonaldTrump
We don't need another stimulus. The first one was a complete failure. Why repeat the same mistake?
4:33 PM · Aug 22, 2011

This loving guy

# ¿ Aug 22, 2020 22:46

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

That Works posted:

Sounds to me like we're better off just implementing a maximum age

# ¿ Aug 23, 2020 18:54

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/nmarchio/status/1297636843589074950?s=20

Please loving walk into the ocean you god drat terrible human being Rahm

# ¿ Aug 24, 2020 01:10

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/LisPower1/status/1297900038979543043?s=20

He was no angel.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2020 15:33

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/chadgarland/status/1298286398299090944?s=20

California man masquerading for years as federal agent pulled over motorists, obtained guns, feds allege

quote:

LOS ANGELES (Tribune News Service) � Last May, agents from the State Department�s Diplomatic Security Service showed up at an Orange County retirement community to serve a search warrant. They were joined by a man wearing a ballistic vest, a pistol strapped to his thigh and a badge on his chest, who introduced himself as a special agent with Homeland Security Investigations.

Donovan Nguyen accompanied the agents and was the first one through the door of the home they searched, one of the agents recalled last month to Alnahl Jones � a real agent with Homeland Security Investigations.

Nguyen, Jones wrote in an affidavit, is a civilian who has masqueraded as a federal agent for years, parading around in body armor, openly carrying firearms, pulling over motorists with red and blue lights installed in his pickup truck, and purchasing guns with fake Department of Homeland Security credentials.

Nguyen, who lives in the city of Orange, was arrested Monday and charged with impersonating a federal agent. It wasn�t immediately clear from court records if he had a lawyer.

Nguyen, 34, has never been employed by Homeland Security Investigations, much less worked for the agency as a special agent, Jones wrote in the affidavit. Most recently, he has worked as a security guard at Laguna Woods Village, a gated retirement community in Orange County.

Federal agents were tipped to Nguyen in June by investigators from the Riverside County district attorney�s office, court records show.

The owner of a gun store in Riverside had reported a potential criminal case to the county prosecutor�s office and asked their investigators to partner with Nguyen, whom he believed to be a special agent. The gun salesman had sold Nguyen seven firearms over the years, with Nguyen presenting credentials at each purchase identifying him as a �lieutenant� with the Department of Homeland Security, Jones� affidavit said.

Riverside investigators left Nguyen several voicemails, and in June, he called them back, Jones wrote in the affidavit. Nguyen said he had reviewed the gun dealer�s tip but wasn�t willing to take the case because a witness had been deported, the affidavit said.

The Riverside investigators followed up with a Homeland Security Investigations office in San Bernardino. No one by that name worked for the agency, investigators quickly determined, and they started digging into Nguyen�s background.

They found his LinkedIn profile, which describes him as a 12-year agent, and a YouTube interview in which he introduces himself as a special agent and discusses federal immigration policies.

Investigators learned Nguyen had previously worked for Paragon Systems, a contractor that provides security at Department of Homeland Security sites. Assigned to a base in Riverside, the Air and Marine Operations Center, one of Nguyen�s duties was to print access cards for employees and visitors, Jones wrote in the affidavit.

Nguyen was barred from the base in 2015 after an internal investigation found he had printed fake Homeland Security credentials for himself and two co-workers, Jones wrote.

The Riverside gun salesman told investigators Nguyen and the co-workers used the ID cards to buy weapons. Presenting law enforcement credentials �allowed him to avoid taking and paying for certain firearm safety courses required by the State of California,� Jones wrote in the affidavit. Nguyen bought seven weapons at the Riverside shop and purchased 42 firearms in all in California, Jones wrote.

After being ousted from the Riverside base, Nguyen took a job as a supervisor at Laguna Woods Village, an upscale retirement community, where he worked alongside a number of retired police officers, Jones wrote.

Although the community�s security guards were supposed to be unarmed, Nguyen carried firearms openly and attributed the weaponry to his primary job as a federal agent, employees told investigators.

Tom Siviglia, a security manager and a retired Cypress police officer, said Nguyen often showed up to work late and left early, explaining he was �doing his �agent� duties,� Jones wrote in the affidavit. He often came to the retirement community �tacted out� � wearing full tactical gear � and sporting a firearm and a Homeland Security badge, Siviglia told investigators.

Nguyen kept a plaque on his desk that identified him as a captain with the Department of Homeland Security, Jones� affidavit said. He sent emails from a �dhs.gov� account he�d kept from his time working at the Riverside base, signing off emails with a signature that identified him as the �director� of an unspecified �JTF,� or joint task force, according to the affidavit.

With Carlos Rojas, the retirement community�s security director and Santa Ana�s former police chief, Nguyen discussed the civil unrest sweeping the country �in which DHS agents have played a prominent and controversial role,� Jones wrote. According to the affidavit, Nguyen texted Rojas, �We got orders to shoot freely just now.�

Rojas told the agents Nguyen used red and blue lights installed in his Toyota Tacoma to pull over co-workers. Robert Martinez, a retired police officer, told investigators he �was leaving work when he saw red and blue lights in his rear-view mirror and heard a siren chirp.� He pulled over and Nguyen pulled alongside him, Jones� affidavit said.

�Did I scare you, Martinez?� he recalled Nguyen saying, before laughing and driving away.

Of all his alleged charades, the most daring came when a pair of agents from the State Department showed up at Laguna Woods Village to serve a warrant in May 2019.

A few days earlier, one of the agents, Nico Figueroa, had visited the retirement community and met Nguyen, who introduced himself as a security supervisor and a Homeland Security agent, Figueroa told investigators.

The morning of the takedown, Nguyen greeted the State Department agents in �tactical raid gear, a thigh holster with a weapon and ballistic vest displaying an HSI badge,� Jones� affidavit said. Nguyen told the agents he was assigned to a terrorism task force and had �worked all night,� but he �still wanted to show up to help execute the warrant,� Figueroa recalled him saying.

Nguyen accompanied the State Department agents and was the first one through the door of the home they searched, the agents told Jones.

�Agents would never allow an employee of a private security company, even if the company worked security at the facility being searched, to participate in executing a warrant in that manner,� Jones wrote.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2020 17:06

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Internet Wizard posted:

The only member of the USDSS worth their salt is Luke Hobbs.

Too bad he's always getting into shenanigans with that Shaw fella

# ¿ Aug 25, 2020 17:55

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Fact Checkers, outside of noted Canadian Daniel Dale, are useless because they will contort themselves into a pretzel to not call a politician out

# ¿ Aug 25, 2020 19:22

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Godholio posted:

That's actually the craziest thing IMO.

Seriously, with how often accounts would get locked/deleted when someone was actively trying to stay current the fact a fired dude kept his dot gov was the most surprising part of that story

# ¿ Aug 25, 2020 22:00

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/atrupar/status/1298412065657430016?s=19

Huge, if true

# ¿ Aug 26, 2020 01:38

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 08:14

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Bill's got the right of it

https://www.militarytimes.com/opinion/commentary/2020/08/26/what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-you-space-force/
What the heck is wrong with you, Space Force?

quote:

To the very esteemed members of Space Force and other grand poohbahs of the United States government agencies who may have a say in this, I have one question for you:

What the heck is wrong with you?

I�m talking about the ranks of the Space Force!

What are you doing to us? 😱 There was no Colonel Kirk; not even in the mirror universe (which is what 2020 feels like at times.)

Do you know your entertainment space history? 🤔 🤷‍♂️

Let me show you what I mean.

Throughout entertainment history, which precedes actual space flight history by decades, we had captains:

�Le Voyage Dans La Lune� (�A Trip to the Moon,� 1902) � the earliest known space film � had a captain in command of the rocket ship played by Henri Delannoy.

Captain Buck Rogers was a WW2 Navy pilot who awoke 500 years later to a new world.

In WW2, Navy fighter pilot Donald �Flash� Gordon was a captain [who] took his nickname from the science fiction show where Flash did not have any rank of title bestowed upon him. Even with no title; the name is coincidentally adopted by a �captain.�

�2001: A Space Odyssey� (1968) had a lunar shuttle captain.

In the movie �Alien� (1979). the ship Nostromo was �captained� by Tom Skerritt�s character: Dallas.

And even though it pains me 😩 to point out, Han Solo was �captain� of the Millennium Falcon.

In addition, there are plenty of captains beyond Star Trek and space franchises. There�s Captain America, Captain Marvel, Captain Midnight, Captain Planet, Captain Cook, to name just a few.

So, what am I getting at 🤷‍♂️ (I�m getting there�just give me a moment.) 😤 It�s been a captain throughout entertainment history that have gone into space and been the heroes that saved the day, the planet, the galaxy and the universe. Where in any of this rich history of inspired heroes travelling into space was there a�colonel?

Shall we have look?

Let�s start with major (two ranks below colonel).

Major Don West�s ineptness caused the space family Robinson to be �Lost in Space� on their space ship the Jupiter 2 forever.

There�s Major Anthony Nelson � who piloted a spacecraft that came crashing down next to a deserted island where he found an ancient bottle that contained a woman named Jeannie and brought the attention of Colonel Alfred Bellows to him for his crazy antics at NASA.

We cannot forget USAF Colonel Steve Austin, an astronaut who crashed his ship and severely injured himself that cost taxpayers $6 million to put him back together, who was portrayed by my dear friend, Lee Majors.

Finally, there was Colonel Wilhelm Klink of �Hogan�s Heroes.� Granted the show was not set in space nor was he in command of a space ship, but was one of the ineptest characters ever put on TV that was beautifully portrayed by Werner Kleperer and he held the rank of a colonel.

This is how Army ranks (and colonels in particular) are portrayed to the public by Hollywood.

�Star Trek� has borrowed so much of its iconic rank symbols from the U.S. military and NASA. When you unveiled the Space Force logo, many immediately saw it as an homage to �Star Trek� (even though our Delta was an homage to the previous military space insignias). Why not borrow back from �Star Trek� and adopt our ranks as well? We took them from the Navy for good reason, even though Gene Roddenberry was a veteran of the U.S. Army Air Corps. They made better sense when talking about a (space) ship.

So wrapping this up, I�m going to say that if you want the public to believe in heroes, that you should adopt the Navy ranks as they are the ones the public is most used to being heroes.

So please reconsider and name the Space Force ranks after the U.S. Navy.

Just my �colonel� of wisdom. 😘

My best,

Bill Shatner

William Shatner is a Canadian-born actor whose portrayal of Starfleet Capt. James T. Kirk is one of the most iconic roles in the history of science fiction pop culture.

Editor�s note: This is an Op-Ed and as such, the opinions expressed are those of the author. If you would like to respond, or have an editorial of your own you would like to submit, please contact Military Times managing editor Howard Altman, haltman@militarytimes.com.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2020 15:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > August 2020 current events featuring Mr. Nice!

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