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Nooner posted:And this is why the OP will never get laid I volunteered last page and delivered
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Aug 4, 2020 08:50
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Moo the cow posted:I like how Jackson insisted that every single prop be made by hand. He didn't want the immersion into this world to be ruined by noticing a jug that you could buy at your local department store. These kind of things are ONLY noticed by grognards who scrutinize every frame of the movie and are living breathing stinking encyclopedias of the movies
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Aug 4, 2020 08:53
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Zzulu posted:These kind of things are ONLY noticed by grognards who scrutinize every frame of the movie and are living breathing stinking encyclopedias of the movies Thank you! What's a grognards?
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Aug 4, 2020 09:51
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Thank you! What's a grognards? Grog is what pirates drink and nards are testicles. Do the math.
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Aug 4, 2020 10:01
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The only good thing about the Hobbit movies was the Mirkwood elves being massive assholes and joking about how disgusting dwarves are. Oh and to be fair they fuckin nailed Smaug. The rest is garbage tho.
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Aug 4, 2020 10:04
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You know Ian McKellen, a veteran actor and all round nice dude, pretty much broke down during the Hobbit filming because he was green screened in a room on his own for weeks. The film being shot for 3D meant they couldn't just use the practical effects (platforms/perspectives) they did in LoTR when he shared screen time with the Hobs.
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Aug 4, 2020 10:13
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Zzulu posted:These kind of things are ONLY noticed by grognards who scrutinize every frame of the movie and are living breathing stinking encyclopedias of the movies They absolutely are not. I still remember seeing that scene in ANH for the first time and my belief that this was a galaxy far, far away was immediately broken by the obviously Tupperware jug - the exact model of which was in the corner cupboard in my kitchen. This wasn't an ice-cream maker in the background for a single second; this was right in the foreground, then used by all three characters throughout the scene and it does spoil the magic instantly. Suspension of disbelief is fragile. PJ was good at stopping this kind of poo poo from happening. Likewise the little robot from the super-technologically-advanced mega spaceship having to do a clumsy 3 point turn because it was the same type of radio-controlled car that I had in my bedroom, with a plastic lid on it. 
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Aug 4, 2020 10:14
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I think it's fair to say that most people were too busy laughing at the robot being scared off to consider that it turned like their RC car. Probably about as many people were bothered by the fact that tomahtoes and Po-Tay-Toes are New World plants that have no business being in those movies.
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Aug 4, 2020 10:23
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Ratjaculation posted:i'm not optimistic about the amazon show Have they set down what it's going to be about yet?
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Aug 4, 2020 10:25
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Have they set down what it's going to be about yet? Young Aragon is all they've revealed which sounds like an absolute stinker, maybe could be good if done right, but I imagine it'll be another GoT clone. Also despite being filmed in NZ it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with the film, the production teams nor studios lol
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Aug 4, 2020 10:30
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Ratjaculation posted:Young Aragon is all they've revealed which sounds like an absolute stinker, maybe could be good if done right, but I imagine it'll be another GoT clone. That sounds like the least interesting thing they could have picked. I guess it's safe.
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Aug 4, 2020 10:39
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Radical 90s Wizard posted:The only good thing about the Hobbit movies was the Mirkwood elves being massive assholes and joking about how disgusting dwarves are. Oh and to be fair they fuckin nailed Smaug. The rest is garbage tho. The opening scene with the dwarves arriving is worth a decent giggle.
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Aug 4, 2020 11:05
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COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:I hated how Lord of the ring 3 won all the oscars that year when there were a poo poo ton of good movies like City of God that were completely robbed. They were rewarding the third movie on the “strength” of the entire trilogy that was spread out over years, that’s not how an annual award works! Yeah, it's a shame. City of God was nominated for best foreign language film too, it should have got the nom for best picture.
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Aug 4, 2020 12:01
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Radical 90s Wizard posted:The only good thing about the Hobbit movies was the Mirkwood elves being massive assholes and joking about how disgusting dwarves are. Oh and to be fair they fuckin nailed Smaug. The rest is garbage tho. I've only seen bits and pieces of the hobbit films, they were on TV as background noise when I was making dinner one day. I thought Billy Conolloy as a dwarven warlord or something was pretty good. But then again, it's Billy Conolloy - that man can do stand up going into great detail about his own bodily functions and still make everyone laugh.
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Aug 4, 2020 12:17
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Ratjaculation posted:Young Aragon is all they've revealed "You can't die, the world can't be threatened, you'll have no lasting romance, and we know what's going to happen to you and everyone else in about, eh, a decade+. Ok, let's make it dramatic, people!" What the gently caress
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Aug 4, 2020 12:33
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Balrogs were NOT Sauron's minions. Not buying it. This the same sort of bullshit when countries hire private military corporations to do illegal war stuff. Everybody knows you're operating in Moria, Sauron. Cut the crap.
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Aug 4, 2020 12:40
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Just do a retread of Dragonball except he's after silmarils instead of dragonballs and also an elf. Save money by animating the whole thing in Korea
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Aug 4, 2020 12:42
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these movies have kinda an anime vibe if you ask me
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Aug 4, 2020 12:43
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Hot gay elves fisting each other and doing ninja stuff? Big tittied glowing bitches that float and huge eyes? Main characters excessively child like in all regards yet still overtly sexualized feet? idk what's anime about that
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Aug 4, 2020 12:55
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Ratjaculation posted:You know Ian McKellen, a veteran actor and all round nice dude, pretty much broke down during the Hobbit filming because he was green screened in a room on his own for weeks. The film being shot for 3D meant they couldn't just use the practical effects (platforms/perspectives) they did in LoTR when he shared screen time with the Hobs. 
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Aug 4, 2020 12:59
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Why did they shoot it in 3D? I can think of one type of movie that would be better if its in 3d and that's a movie about people with big boobs riding on a rollercoaster.
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Aug 4, 2020 13:02
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Frodo looked up from his manuscript with a happy sigh. He had just finished a lengthy description of the forests of Lorien. And even though his hand was now cramping he felt proud of himself. Through the slightly opened window came a soft breeze, carrying the sweet smells of many blooming plants. Frodo could hear the distant sounds of Sam working in the gardens. Smiling, he closed the book and stood up. Walking into the large bathroom, Frodo used the switches that activated the intricate plumbing system that provided Bag End with water. He plugged the drain and watched how the bathtub slowly filled with hot water. After he added some bath salts, Frodo walked out of the room, knowing he had quite a few minutes until the tub would be full enough. Frodo went outside, stopping at the front door of Bag End. He leaned against the doorway and watched Sam, who was planting a row of peonies on each side of the pathway leading to the garden door. Frodo waited until Sam has planted the last flower until he called out: "Sam! That's quite enough for today, don't you think? " Sam looked up and turned his head to smile at Frodo. "Just a moment, Frodo. There are some seeds I still have to plant. " "Come inside, my love. I have prepared a surprise for you. " Frodo said, still smiling. Sam sighed, but he was still smiling as he put his gardening tools back into their little box and got up. He walked over to Frodo and paused right in front of him. For a short moment, Frodo could not breathe as he was transfixed by Sam's beauty. Sam's skin, tanned from his work outside, was glowing golden in the evening sun. His bright green eyes were sparkling and his golden curls were falling into his face. Sam's beauty was unequaled by anything Frodo had ever seen. Frodo reached out to wipe a smudge of dirt off of his cheek. Sam's grin was radiant as he leaned forward to kiss Frodo tenderly. Frodo smiled into the kiss and grabbed Sam's hand. "Come on, Sam. " Frodo led Sam into the bathroom, now smelling like the lavender bath salts. Sam's eyes brightened as he saw the full bathtub. Apart from his garden, the bathtub was Sam's favorite place in Bag End. "What a lovely surprise, indeed. " Sam said. Frodo chuckled and turned off the water flow. Turning around to face Sam again, Frodo started to unbutton Sam's vest and slipped it off Sam's shoulders, before doing the same to the thin linen shirt underneath. Sam's torso was chubby as all hobbits tended to be, but underneath Frodo could feel the muscles that came from years of hard labor. "I love you. " Sam blurted out suddenly. "I love you too, Sam. " Frodo replied, blushing a little. They kissed again before they undressed completely. When they climbed into the bathtub, Sam sighed happily as the hot water helped him relax his strained muscles. For a few minutes, they just lounged in the hot water, legs entangled, and whispered sweet nothings to each other. Then Frodo grabbed a washcloth and some soap and gestured for Sam to turn around. Carefully, he started to wipe the sweat and dirt off of Sam's body. Frodo rubbed the cloth against Sam's skin until it was rosy again and his muscles pliant. Tenderly, he rinsed off Sam's hair multiple times, wiping wet curls away from Sam's eyes. When Frodo was done, Sam took the cloth and the soap from Frodo's hands and returned the favor. Under the soft strokes of Sam's hands, Frodo could feel himself getting hard. He closed his eyes as Sam washed his hair, running rough hands through Frodo's curls. Sam had noticed that Frodo had gotten hard, he always knew, but he wanted to finish washing him first. Putting away the cloth and the rest of the soap, Sam cupped Frodo's cheek and pulled him in for a tender kiss. Their kiss was just as tender as the ones before, but this one was filled with the intent of going further. Frodo let himself fall back, so that his back was resting against the edge of the bathtub and Sam, who's dick had become hard as well, was on top of him immediately. Their erections were pressed against each other as they made out. When Frodo reached between them and wrapped a hand around Sam's erection, he groaned surprised. Frodo started to jerk Sam off, running his fingers over the tip exactly how Sam liked it. Panting, they continued to kiss as Sam started to rub Frodo's dick as well. "Sam, please... Take me! " Frodo gasped into Sam's mouth. "H-Here? In the bathtub? " Sam asked. "Yes. I cannot wait any longer. " Frodo replied. "Your wish is my command. " Sam's right hand let go of Frodo's dick and it slipped between his spread legs. Easily, Sam found Frodo's hole and rubbed his fingers against it. Frodo whined impatiently, but his whines turned into a moan when Sam slipped a finger into him carefully. It went inside easily as Frodo was still loose from when they made love this morning. Nonetheless, Sam did not want to hurt his Frodo. Tenderly, he fingered Frodo, making sure to rub against his prostate. Frodo moaned and wriggled around, trying to get Sam to speed things up. But Sam was a lot more stubborn than him and could not be persuaded to hurry things along. One finger became two and two became three. And Frodo became more and more impatient and wanton. But Sam knew how to appease him. While he was fingering Frodo with one hand, his other hand played with Frodo's nipples, tweaking and caressing them. Frodo pressed himself against Sam, arching his back. When Sam additionally started to kiss and suck at Frodo's neck, Frodo felt ready to burst. But that was the moment when Sam pulled out his fingers. "I'm terribly sorry, Frodo, but I think you're ready now. " Sam said. "I've been ready the whole time. " Frodo replied mischievously. Frodo sat up, pushing Sam away a bit. Sam sat down, letting Frodo do what he wanted. So, Frodo climbed into Sam's lap, water sloshing around them, and slowly sunk down on his cock. They both moaned and Frodo easily took all off Sam's cock. When his asscheeks were resting against Sam's thighs, he stayed still for a moment. Frodo leaned forward and cupped Sam's face to give him a hot kiss. Sam's hands rested on Frodo's hips, grabbing them gently, as Frodo slowly started to move. Sam gasped into Frodo's mouth and they broke apart. They rested their foreheads against each other and gazed into each other's eyes. Frodo slowly rocked his hips, guiding Sam's cock to rub against his sweet spot. "I love you, Sam. " Frodo whispered. "I love you, too. " Sam replied, panting. Frodo put his arms around Sam's neck as he started to ride Sam properly. He was speeding his movements up, bouncing up and down on top of Sam, but he still kept it tender and sensual. Sam let Frodo take the lead as he caressed his back and pressed open-mouthed kisses against Frodo's neck and collarbone. They moaned simultaneously as their two bodies moved as one. Sam's right hand snuck between their bodies and grabbed Frodo's erection. He started to jerk Frodo off in rhythm with his movements. Frodo let his head fall on Sam's shoulder and rocked his hips against Sam. It didn't take long until the double stimulation caused Frodo to reach his climax. He moaned loudly, cock twitching in Sam's hand, as Frodo came. His whole body tensed up and tightened its grip on Sam's cock, milking him. Added to Frodo's arousing moans, it brought Sam over the edge too. He pushed his hips upwards unconsciously, pressing himself deeper into Frodo, and shot his load inside him. Now spent and feeling satisfied, Frodo slumped against Sam, head resting against his shoulder. Sam wrapped his arms around Frodo and they stayed like that, cuddled against each other and whispering sweet nothings, for a little while. After the fog of absolute bliss in their heads cleared up a bit and the water had turned tepid, Frodo untangled himself from Sam. After cleaning each other up a bit, Frodo stood up and climbed out of the tub. "Come on, Sam. All this exercise has made me hungry. " Frodo said with a wink. Sam didn't reply immediately as his eyes were glued to Frodo's rear end, but when he could tear his eyes away to look at Frodo's face, Sam smiled. "I could eat," he said sheepishly and climbed out too. Frodo handed him a soft towel, but Sam pulled Frodo in for a soft kiss, before he grabbed it. "I love you so much, Frodo. " Sam said once more. Frodo smiled deeply, cheeks blushing a little bit, and replied: "I love you too, Sam. More than everything. "
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Aug 4, 2020 13:02
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they're going to need to clean the tub
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Aug 4, 2020 13:27
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why did they shoot it in 3D? I can think of one type of movie that would be better if its in 3d and that's a movie about people with big boobs riding on a rollercoaster. 3d movies are the future of cinema. don't you know avatar made a billion dollars? remember this scene? remember how amazingly awesome it was to see in 3d when that guitar was heading right for you! the immersion! the pure ecstasy of the filmic arts! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4_SJfCGQwM&t=97s
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Aug 4, 2020 13:32
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tom bombadil being a manifestation of the earth proves that the earth is a dumb retard that deserves global warming
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Aug 4, 2020 13:35
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Mozi posted:3d movies are the future of cinema. don't you know avatar made a billion dollars? Has anyone ever met someone that was really into Avatar?
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Aug 4, 2020 13:36
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Has anyone ever met someone that was really into Avatar? 
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Aug 4, 2020 13:37
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why did they shoot it in 3D? I can think of one type of movie that would be better if its in 3d and that's a movie about people with big boobs riding on a rollercoaster. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTRUQ-RKfUs She doesn't go into why the movie was in 3D, but it's a pretty safe bet given context: 1. Everyone was still chasing Avatar's coattails because media production is a gambling game and the people at the top are usually out of touch. 2. The Hobbit had 5 studios involved in its production, primarily Warner Brothers, who was desperate for a megafranchise in the early 2010s because Harry Potter and Nolan's Batman were ending and they didn't have anything else major on the docket. Between the Hobbit, Fantastic Beasts, and the Snyderverse... yeah bad decade for them really. 3. The Hobbit's production was insanely rushed even by the standards of a modest film in order to keep the film production in New Zealand-- Peter Jackson basically fell on his sword and mortgaged his entire creative reputation just so all the people from LotR wouldn't go out of work-- so it's a safe guess no one was able to second-guess or fight weird studio demands.
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Aug 4, 2020 13:44
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^ kind of odd to say "just so all the people from LotR wouldn't go out of work" when the law changes Sir Peter fought so hard for that they're called the "Hobbit law" are all about union busting and making the lives of actors worse.Derpies posted:If you happen to be in New Zealand visiting Hobbiton is super cool and you can see the fake tree OP it's still just hanging out. They also give you free beers and I highly suggest you pocket the cups. Hobbiton is nice. I've been at least once. The post-tour ales are really good. They did remove the fake bits of the tree but the real tree is still there.
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Aug 4, 2020 14:13
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kimihia posted:^ kind of odd to say "just so all the people from LotR wouldn't go out of work" when the law changes Sir Peter fought so hard for that they're called the "Hobbit law" are all about union busting and making the lives of actors worse.
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Aug 4, 2020 14:28
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Avatar 2's entire crew got into lockdown NZ because they need to film there for the Hobbiton is pretty cool though, I agree. Though NZ has a lot more to offer than LoTR. Like my favourite hike on earth; the Kepler Track through Fiordland (where they filmed some of LoTR)
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Aug 4, 2020 14:31
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Nevermind the fact that 3D brings nothing to a movie (you had to remind me the films were in 3D, I legit forgot about that), every scene looked faked, shot on a soundstage with bigass HMI spots trying to look like sunlight. “It may be my impression but I don’t remember a green screen on ‘The Lord of the Rings,'” McKellen said. “If Gandalf was on top of a mountain, I’d be there on the mountain. The technology was being invented while we were making the film. [In ‘The Lord of the Rings’] I wasn’t involved in any of that, I was away acting on a mountain. I tend not to remember the bad times, but I don’t think there were any. I think I enjoyed every single moment of making those films.” https://www.indiewire.com/2018/05/ian-mckellen-the-hobbit-green-screen-miserable-1201967873/ Whether they were on a mountain, near a river, in the forest, in Hobbiton, Bree or hell even Minas Tirith... they were there. The sets were huge and masterfully crafted. Sure, there were blue/green screen shots. But for the most part, you were looking at something real. Often it was a miniature replacing that blue-screen. Every goddamn shot in the Hobbit looks like this: 
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Aug 4, 2020 15:56
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Funky See Funky Do posted:They put two million fake leaves on the tree above Bag End. It took 5 people a whole week to do it. The scale of what they did to make these movies blows my tiny mind. I wonder if there will ever be another movie at the same level of grandeur made with the same amount of love that these ones were. reminds me of one of tolkien's short stories https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaf_by_Niggle quote:In this story, an artist, named Niggle, lives in a society that does not value art. Working only to please himself, he paints a canvas of a great Tree with a forest in the distance. He invests each and every leaf of his tree with obsessive attention to detail, making every leaf uniquely beautiful. Niggle ends up discarding all his other artworks, or tacks them onto the main canvas, which becomes a single vast embodiment of his vision.
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Aug 4, 2020 16:00
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Hahaha oh no! That looks like a documentary now parody
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Aug 4, 2020 17:33
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why did they shoot it in 3D? I can think of one type of movie that would be better if its in 3d and that's a movie about people with big boobs riding on a rollercoaster. The only movie I’ve ever seen that was better in 3d was the third Jackass movie, because there were people getting for real punched in the face in super slo mo, and dildoes rocketing toward the camera.
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Aug 4, 2020 17:33
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Ratjaculation posted:Young Aragon is all they've revealed which sounds like an absolute stinker, maybe could be good if done right, but I imagine it'll be another GoT clone. Nothing in this post is true. The show is going to be about the second age Numenor and all that.
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Aug 4, 2020 18:57
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clever, cut the makeup budget by setting it in the age of men
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Aug 4, 2020 18:59
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sweet geek swag posted:Nothing in this post is true. The show is going to be about the second age Numenor and all that. alright nerd cool your jets
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Aug 4, 2020 20:07
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The cast commentary on these films rule. Especially on Fellowship, and most of all for the banter between the 4 hobbits.
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Aug 4, 2020 20:25
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sweet geek swag posted:In the books Faramir doesn't want to kill Gollum, but the law says he has to. He doesn't kill Gollum anyway because Frodo speaks up for him. He then treats Gollum humanely for the rest of his captivity. In the movie the only reason that Frodo speaking up saves Gollum is so that Faramir's men can torture and interrogate Gollum, so that they can find out what he knows about Frodo. In the books Faramir is constantly looking for an excuse for mercy, in the movies he immediately resorts to casual brutality. All of his cleverness and wisdom in the books are completely absent in the movie version, which has him trying to do a bad Boromir impression. The ring is scary because it can corrupt everyone and anyone, it's not a Boromir thing to be tempted by the ring. But ok I guess it's cooler to have Faramir be some boring goody boy (who also will kill people because Pond, because law lol).
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