menstruation megathread: I can do anything on my period. I just don't fuckin wanna. - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > menstruation megathread: I can do anything on my period. I just don't fuckin wanna.

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

I had a copper IUD for over a decade and it hosed me up bad, I have a Mirena now and have no periods, lost about 45 pounds and am feeling way better! Boobs still hurt at The Appointed Time tho

periods are horrible and humanity should work towards eliminating them

# ¿ Aug 11, 2020 02:51

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 17:27

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

My dad asked for an empty tampon box to take with him... this was before the age of cell phones, and that man was not going to screw up.

I love my dad :3:

:3:

# ¿ Aug 12, 2020 16:58

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Strumpie posted:

i have a serious question.
is there anything in particular a boyfriend/husband can do that actually helps make the experience more bearable?

none of my partners have had problematic periods, so i've never really been called upon.

Ask your period-haver when they are not currently in hormonal hell what you can do to help. This will allow a much more constructive conversation than when in the midst of Blood Hell. Every person is different, and each period can be different. Sometimes I want salty things and all I can eat dick, other times it's chocolate and don't loving look at me

# ¿ Aug 12, 2020 23:02

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

sigher posted:

My ex loved this, we'd go at it in the shower and she said it helped with her cramps and how much bleeding she'd deal with for the next couple days.

If mine was not on time or doing that hesitant spotting bullshit my bf and I would have sex just to knock it on

seems weird but I'm sure I'm not the only one to be like ok we are good unf oh no

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 04:41

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Barudak posted:

Im describing it poorly and no longer am in possession of it to take photos and like hell if I can figure out what I need to search to bring it up.

Basically its a good sized, cylindrical and girthy dildo with a flat metal plate a few inches long located around what will be the front of the vaginal canal once fully inserted. On the other side from the plate is an accordion fold looking piece of rubber with a rubberized air pump that works exactly like the old sneakers, and at at the base is this things unique motor.

To use, you slather the metal plate with lady safe electro-conducive gel and insert with plate facing towards scarring/weak areas. You use the little rubber air button to pump up the accordion flat to kind of hold it in place, like some sexual car jack. Then you fire up the main motor and the thing blasts the old lady nethers with pulses of electricity in order to force muscle work/break up internal scarring.

After that, take some notes in your progress journal clean it up and wait for your next weekly/biweekly appointment. At the appointment, you adjust the device's settings based on your pain threshold/strength levels with your doctor, but even at max its like 5 minutes of this and you're done. This is a good thing because this process feels exactly as good as loving a cattle prod someone put some ladybit safe silicon coating on.

like this?

https://www.amazon.com/Intensity/dp/B00E1RERK2

# ¿ Aug 13, 2020 17:56

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Ralph Crammed In posted:

On episiotomy chat right after I had my baby and they were stitching me up I was sort of flinching, as you would when you're getting your genitals sown back together, and the (male) doctor said something like "the more you jump the harder it is on me" and I apologized and I felt bad about making it hard on him and even then I was mad about how much society socializes women to be polite and yielding to requests. I mean, I get his point, but he was a condescending dick about it. Of course he was Dutch and the Dutch sort are condescending dicks by nature, but still if you've decided to specialize in birth procedures you could work on your bedside manner a bit.

If he'd have put enough topical anesthesia on your bits, you wouldn't know what was going on and wouldn't flinch, he did it to himself :colbert:

:colbert:

when I was getting my IUD repealed and replaced, the old copper one had gotten a bit embedded and there was a nice moist ripping noise when the gyno tore it out, in clinic, nothing given for pain. Made my top 5 most painful things list, and I've broken my shoulder blade in half in a motorcycle wreck and had an ER doc unknowingly burst an ovarian cyst via palpation

Male gynos are either solid gold or assholes

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 13:03

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Waterbed Wendy posted:

You ever have such bad cramps while bleeding that you go pee and suddenly you have to puke and you puke on your blood and pee a bit before you can flush?

I call that Satan's strawberry lemonade

excellent name for this :golfclap:

:golfclap:

# ¿ Aug 15, 2020 15:24

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Enfys posted:

https://twitter.com/Bubblenoma/status/1296017870556733440

What really stood out to me was that it apparently takes an average of 7.5 years to get diagnosed with endometriosis in one of the richest countries in the world. It's not even a difficult diagnosis - if there's doubt it's easily confirmed with a simple laparoscopic procedure.

One of the many reasons why it's so important to have more women in the healthcare system - as doctors, researchers, and as research subjects.

yeah, but insurances don't want to pay for a laparoscopic procedure or anything definitive right off the bat, and doctors generally have to have a large pile of "poo poo we've done already" before they can even try to get it covered for their patients

murcaaaa~~

# ¿ Aug 20, 2020 15:46

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Strumpie posted:

this was an NHS trust, your citizenship covers everything.

it's ignorance/arrogance/negligence on the part of healthcare professionals and nothing else.

and here I was thinking not-murca would be better for women, alas

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 06:02

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Ah yes, the weight scapegoat! My lovely FNP primary care was telling me my weight was the sole cause of my exhaustion, constantly getting sick, mood swings... even after I begged for an immunoglobulin test and it was hella hosed up she was still like, yer fat

8 months after getting that copper IUD out and no more pain, lost 40 pounds (210 to 170) mood way better, her assistant called after the appointment to be like "she says you need to lose weight"

bloodchat: light spotting and spent yesterday enjoying a beer and ibuprofen to offset the fact an invisible mule kicked my lower back. I still say it makes no evolutionary sense to be in pain and upset each month, clearly bears are already attracted, we shouldn't want to fight them as well

# ¿ Aug 21, 2020 16:04

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Ralph Crammed In posted:

Who else gets cramps while ovulating? And also really horny?

I occasionally get mittelschmerz, but usually get the horny, that and just before the rag, my aging uterus is sounding last call :getin:

:getin:

# ¿ Aug 24, 2020 19:40

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

CherryCat posted:

I'm definitely due; I'm horny as hell, could murder a rare steak, and absolutely hate myself for existing. Fun combo.

ok thank god I'm not the only one to crave bloody meat At That Time

# ¿ Aug 24, 2020 19:41

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Elentor posted:

I try to be fine with it but then I get exchanges like:

me: I've finally restarted my arms workout gonna abby the poo poo out of this body
straight male friend: that's cool but aren't you gonna look too masculine, maybe you should start investing in silicone implants
me: what part of looking like abby did you miss
friend: I'm just saying, everyone likes boobs your partners would appreciate it
me: no I'm fine the way I am it pairs well with my style
friend: but what about your partners

fmadamkskmsdfsdfjm

that person isn't a friend if they're more concerned with some hypothetical future person's preferences than your irl existing goals

also lol vag loogies are terrifying, when I had my full rag I'd freeze like a deer in headlights and shuffle off to the bathroom like I was holding a skittle in my buttcrack

when I was cognizant enough of when it was coming I'd install a tampon before I left the house

# ¿ Aug 25, 2020 16:11

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Doctor Faustine posted:

I think it is very dumb and bad that the time my boobs look the best is when I’m about to have my period and they hurt.

THISSSSSS I always take the best cups runneth over pics for my boyfriend during that time, it is the only silver lining to feeling like my tits are full of goathead burrs

# ¿ Aug 28, 2020 05:06

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Doctor Faustine posted:

Started my period yesterday and I have a two and a half hour belly dance workshop today. What I’m saying is I’m braver than the troops.

:ohdear:

I hope the endorphins from the exercise offset some of the hell

# ¿ Aug 30, 2020 15:21

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Blackmore posted:

you know what's hosed up. when you wake up one day and it's like it's over, no more bleeding, just the cleanup phase that comes when it ends. and you think you're safe... but the next day it starts for an additional 24 hours, really just decides to juke ya

the shittiest encore

# ¿ Sep 3, 2020 02:31

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Zoesdare posted:

Apparently in Arizona you can’t stock nexplanon? I have to wait two weeks and answer mystery number phone calls in case the dispensing pharmacy calls to verify that I do in fact want this implant before they send it to my HCP.

I'm in AZ and I legit had to lie back in like 09 to get an IUD placed (wore a fake engagement ring, simpered that my fiance didn't want kids right away)

not surprised it isn't stocked, gently caress our lovely state

# ¿ Sep 22, 2020 05:08

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

I put a small folded dish towel in a Ziploc, add water until just past damp, some lavender oil and nuke it for a minute, works great for all heat required treatments

I used to have a heating pad, but I also own rabbits, so the cord was assassinated. Rabbits unfortunately do not double as cuddly warmth sources.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2020 06:55

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Skratte posted:

my period app told me that having a two day period every time isn't normal and now I'm like. Oh poo poo really uhhhh. because it's always been two days. it would be fitting if a thing I've lightly bragged about in the past killed me somehow.

Although, I'd gladly trade my short periods for ones that were less painful.

my bestie had 3 day periods for years, but it got stretched to like 5 after she had kids

there are outliers

# ¿ Oct 8, 2020 21:07

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

teen witch posted:

Does anyone get period or post period weight gain? My clothing is looser and I look a bit smaller but I gained 2KG during this week apparently and for someone finally getting a semi grip on my ED and lingering period hormones I’m not great

I get gut and boob poofy about a week before the evil happens

# ¿ Oct 10, 2020 07:34

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

getting a uti puts a long rear end debuff on your urethra, making it easier to catch another for a good while

if I smell even a hint of *that* uti smell when I pee my rear end is slamming water and cranberry pills, and praying to every deity that exists

50/50 I still get one and have to go to a clinic for antibiotics

I honestly wonder if shaming women for masturbation in the dark ages didn't save some lives, because kidney infections are no goddamn joke

# ¿ Nov 10, 2020 15:27

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

hopeandjoy posted:

Boy I wish I could stop waking up to a blood spot on my bed at least once every single period.

I legit bought dark brown sheets because of this

# ¿ Nov 13, 2020 05:51

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Pyrotoad posted:

Just got off the phone with my doctor, he's recommending a mirena coil. Anyone got experience dealing with those?

Copper IUD to Mirena convert reporting in, my period is all but non-existent bloodspill-wise, my pms rage has been significantly tempered

still get the back aches and the Schroedinger's poops but not having to worry about carrying tampons etc is super nice

# ¿ Nov 16, 2020 15:50

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

CherryCola posted:

Yo does anyone get worsened joint pain during their period? I have probably fibromyalgia and today my shoulder and neck has started hurting like a biiiiiiitch.

It feels like someone donkey punched my sacrum, so yes.

Also re: cracked nip, there's udder cream that gets used on cows, and while it may sound odd that poo poo works. It has a high comedogenic index tho

And re: breast cysts (and really any other kind), they can come back because the sac that gets formed around the pus-nugget isn't fully removed, and your body freaks out and starts the process over. Fun!

# ¿ Dec 21, 2020 02:38

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Huh, I'm almost 40 and my nips are hella sensitive around That Time, I thought I was just imagining it, but maybe not!

Also re: petchat, my two bunnos (m/f, both fixed) don't seem to give a poo poo, their haughty disinterest is a constant, unless I have food they want

I have heard about dogs getting into pads and such, my besties little chihuahua would do that

# ¿ Feb 6, 2021 17:30

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Haulin Oates posted:

Why does having my period make me have to crap so much, Jesus? And be accompanied by a massive, painful zit on my upper inner thigh?

period shits seem to be either applesauce or concrete, you never know which and sometimes it's both!

# ¿ Feb 18, 2021 17:19

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

teen witch posted:

My period has been over for a week and I still have lingering menstrual cramps. I’ve never had this before and they suck and I can’t work out as much as I can and feel way more tired. Uterus was a mistake

Something Awful Forums > menstruation megathread: uterus was a mistake

# ¿ Feb 22, 2021 18:18

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

angry emu posted:

The amount of water weight my body insists on holding onto the week before my period is ludicrous, and as soon as I start bleeding it just vanishes again. I'm trying to lose weight right now so it's doing my head in even more than usual.

ah yes love feeling like those dried out sponge capsules that get hit with a firehose

I'm about five days out, and just sighed and gave in to the siren call of all dressed chips, future me is sad but she understands the salt fiending :unsmith:

:unsmith:

# ¿ Feb 26, 2021 05:14

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:

We just got a new dog and he barked at my wife the day her period started.

I'm not sure if I want to correct that, technically he's warning me of a potential threat.

as long as you also train the doggo to bring her her preferred rag snack, this is tolerable

# ¿ Feb 28, 2021 15:30

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

rear end end of my cycle and it was a doozy. I'm about a year in on my Mirena, but it was the scene from the shining a couple days and the pms rage was so real

I wish there was a way we could inflict this on our non afab partners so they would appreciate our restraint

# ¿ Jun 21, 2021 06:38

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Mirena-haver reporting in! I went from a copper IUD which was hell for me to a Mirena, and after a couple months my period all but disappeared. If I'm super stressed out I'll have some bleeding but otherwise it's a pretty smooth ride thus far, and I'm 2 years in. I have noticed an uptick in the kind of pain I had when I had to go to the ER for an ovarian cyst. Fun story time: A male ER doc palpated my abdomen so hard HE BROKE IT. The CT showed loose fluid and a ruptured cyst afterwards, gg dude

re: endometrial ablation typically it's only done when the insurance is tired of paying for transfusion and other costs associated with your brood organ leaving the tap running constantly. However it's fallen out of favor because the uterus is a hellbeast that refuses to stop bleeding and apparently continues to do so underneath the scar layer put down by the ablation procedure? I used to do transcription and typed a lot of NovaSure procedures.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2021 13:24

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Ralph Crammed In posted:

There's been a lot of anecdotal reports of the vaccine weirding periods. I got my first shot a few weeks ago and am having a normal period now. But I'm not on birth control at all, although I have even heard tell of post-menopausal women getting it.

And I've got a general question myself. While it isn't period related it is vagina related and I couldn't find any specific answers by Googling and I was hoping someone here has had a similar situation in here, the safest space of the GBS period thread:

I usually have a pretty healthy libido but for the last few months that well has run dry (lol). I was wondering what had changed and the only thing I can pin down is a few months ago I started taking a steroid nasal spray to deal with allergies (or something, I don't know exactly, the doctor just told me to use this over the phone after I described my symptoms). So has anyone else taken a steroid nose spray and got the old Ben Shapiro Special from it?

I know being under constant stress will make my libido only want to suck start a shotgun, sometimes the only way is to literally just plan sex, get the oxytocin going.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2021 17:55

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Got my second jab, Moderna this time and my nips could cut glass for a couple days. anyone else get this :ohdear:

:ohdear:

# ¿ Jul 10, 2021 06:08

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

candystarlight posted:

I got both rounds of Pfizer and now my PMS comes with ridiculously sore nips/boobs, in addition to each cycle lasting about 3 days longer than usual.

I've also lost about 60 lbs in recent months, so who knows which is to blame

e: weight loss was good and intentional, just also occurred through the Fauci Ouchie times.

Congrats on your weight loss!! I've been struggling to keep at the same level. Also, thank you for your info, when hell week hit and my boobs felt like they got tazed and ran over by a semi I wasn't so bewildered :glomp:

:glomp:

# ¿ Jul 12, 2021 14:10

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

I use P Tracker, no sass and there's a thing to put in when you get busy if you're trying for goonspawn. I ponied up for the full version which has a spot for symptoms, temperature, a bunch of poo poo.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2021 03:59

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

teen witch posted:

Got the first Pfizer jab last Thursday and got my period Saturday and Jesus it’s like a cement mixer of cramps. Like first month with my IUD period cramps. I mean no hormonal acne this time so I guess I’ll take it but anyone with the second jabbo - any changes with that periodwise?

got my second jab of Moderna 2.5 wk ago and my period, while normally nonexistent due to Mirena, has been stuck in "gross burnt sienna end of rinse cycle" for about a week now, with random hit and run cramping

I'm super glad you got your jab tho!! :woop:

:woop:

# ¿ Jul 26, 2021 13:56

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Cowslips Warren posted:

Always irritating as gently caress when someone asks you if you're on your period because you're in a bad mood.

:murder:

# ¿ Jul 26, 2021 22:56

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Maigius posted:

What is the best method of donating pads I don't want? I discovered a 28 pack without wings lurking in the closet.

if there are any women's shelters around you can call and ask them

# ¿ Jul 29, 2021 18:22

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Metaline posted:

Help my heating pad broke and I keep forgetting to replace it in time for my one-two punch cramps and lower back pain combo!

Also, my cycle is usually super long and irregular and getting vaccinated seems to have forced an almost normal consistent cycle, which is amazing and I hope it lasts forever along with the free 5G!

I put a dish towel in a ziplock with some water and put it in the microwave for 45 seconds, do not close it until post heating... I had a lovely heating pad but my rabbit choose violence, so

# ¿ Jul 31, 2021 00:58

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 17:27

Pyrtanis: Jun 30, 2007; The ghosts of our glories are gray-bearded guides; Fun Shoe

Pasketti posted:

Living with men who always notice *something* is wrong every month but never loving remember what it is...
Every drat month eventually it's like "why do you look so tired?" "You sound so grumpy, are you mad at me?"
I don't like announcing when I have it, but I end up having to every time
You think eventually people could catch on "hmm this person who is always cheerful and energetic is suddenly grumpy and tired. The last time this happened was exactly a month ago...oh right."

if they're the kind that do want to be aware but are just derp about keeping track, there are period apps that can talk to each other so they can quietly check their phone and see instead of being an rear end about it

I asked my partner if he actively tracked mine and he said no, because it "feels creepy" to do so. He does have a good idea of when it's around, and he's super considerate about it, so I'm one of the lucky ones I guess

# ¿ Aug 6, 2021 20:54

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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > menstruation megathread: I can do anything on my period. I just don't fuckin wanna.

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