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Finally, after eons I have perfected the art of necromancy! Not your standard raising of bones, but to take a spirit and bare it against this mortal coil! Live, liiiive! (Druids also allowed.)
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Aug 30, 2020 22:56
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 10:41 |
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Ugh, how many times are you gonna do this to me?
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Aug 30, 2020 22:59
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this u? 
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Aug 30, 2020 23:03
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Waterbed Wendy posted:this u? don't scry me
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Aug 30, 2020 23:05
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I'm behind 7 veils of misdirection, scry all you want!
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Aug 30, 2020 23:09
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Aug 30, 2020 23:14
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Not true. Even a basic Lich like some of you assembled in this thread would easily disprove this statement.
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Aug 30, 2020 23:15
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Colonel Cancer posted:Not true. Even a basic Lich like some of you assembled in this thread would easily disprove this statement. What's that? Can't hear you over the rattling of your tired old bones 
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Aug 30, 2020 23:16
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I have had a turn of bad luck since the last thread. The layer of the abyss that I was ruling got destroyed. Luckily, I was away. I still am a Demigod by some technicality, but without my demon army I've been moonlighting across the planes as a Necromancer for hire. You may have heard of that undead army that sacked the Holy Cathedral of Saint Gunther; it was one I raised. Anyway if any of y'all need an undead army fast, send me a pm. For legal purposes I have to say that I am not allowed to summon eldritch beings of horror alongside the undead and you SHOULDn't ask.
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Aug 31, 2020 00:02
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I've been trying to track down some mystic bones, and it has to be hardest thing for me to track down lately. Is it the economy? Anyone got any tips on snagging some of these bad boys?
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Aug 31, 2020 00:04
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Jon Joe posted:(Druids also allowed.) WTF? Let the divine casters have their own thread. Next thing you know we'll be letting loving psionicists in here!
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Aug 31, 2020 00:04
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lol this mf took eons to perfect necromancy nice going dude. got there in the end
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Aug 31, 2020 00:07
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Shinjobi posted:I've been trying to track down some mystic bones, and it has to be hardest thing for me to track down lately. Is it the economy? Anyone got any tips on snagging some of these bad boys? Just use your cursed dowsing rods.
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Aug 31, 2020 00:12
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Yeah, and waste a week getting those curses set properly? Cmon, give me the inside scoop. Where are yall finding yours?
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Aug 31, 2020 00:15
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Waterbed Wendy posted:this u? I dunno is it a eldritch business card you found in the swamp of despair next to the flaming carriage tracks of a (16)'77 Transylvania AM that reads: WIZARD FUCKIN MASTER on the back because if not baby I got bad fuckin news
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Aug 31, 2020 00:15
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Shinjobi posted:Yeah, and waste a week getting those curses set properly? Cmon, give me the inside scoop. Where are yall finding yours? Have you tried your local Magisterum Mysticum chapter?
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Aug 31, 2020 00:40
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Shinjobi posted:Yeah, and waste a week getting those curses set properly? Cmon, give me the inside scoop. Where are yall finding yours? The trick is to inscribe the Curse of D'Har (or your curse of choice of equal or greater power, I just find that the CoD'H is the most convenient) on a regenerating creature like a lesser troll. The curse will infuse the creature down to its soul, including it's bones which will be especially infused with dark energies. You merely need to remove the limbs and strip them of flesh to have enchanted bones. This does, or course, mean a lot of upfront costs, but you can sell excess bones to other sorcerer's.
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Aug 31, 2020 00:43
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Planting my hydras teeth in a raised bed w/stakes this year, last years skeleton crop was stunted and couldn't even carry their falchions without tipping over.
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Aug 31, 2020 00:43
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Cat Army
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sweet geek swag posted:I have had a turn of bad luck since the last thread. The layer of the abyss that I was ruling got destroyed. Luckily, I was away. I still am a Demigod by some technicality, but without my demon army I've been moonlighting across the planes as a Necromancer for hire. You may have heard of that undead army that sacked the Holy Cathedral of Saint Gunther; it was one I raised. Just lol at trying to rule a layer of the Abyss, that's like being a slumlord. Get yourself your own bespoke demiplane in the Deep Astral where you define all laws of reality. Sure, mine's on the smaller side, but when you're an absolute god, you can tolerate ruling a universe the size of a New York apartment
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Aug 31, 2020 01:06
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Who What Now posted:WTF? Let the divine casters have their own thread. Next thing you know we'll be letting loving psionicists in here! > 
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Aug 31, 2020 01:09
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you psionicists are too out there, you need to be reigned in Rags to Liches fucked around with this message at 01:17 on Aug 31, 2020 |
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Aug 31, 2020 01:15
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Go charge your psi-crytal, brain boy
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Aug 31, 2020 01:24
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Who What Now posted:WTF? Let the divine casters have their own thread. Next thing you know we'll be letting loving psionicists in here! If you haven't seen a druid perform great feats of evil you haven't been hanging around the right druids.
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Aug 31, 2020 01:27
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I know the conversion ratio is a little steep but take one healthy soul, bind it to a crystal, crush that crystal, and snort 2 lines and its like a full nights sleep. A crystal can last about 4-5 days. I havent slept in about 2 years now. Got a great exchange deal with the local lord trading his prisoners. He pays ME to take them off his hands, and no one asks questions. Win win.
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Aug 31, 2020 01:36
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Anyone got any fun stories of mistaken summoning? Tried my hand at bringing in an arch demon, see if I could learn a little bit more about soul binding techniques. Wouldn't you know it, flubbed one of the anchors on the summoning circle, snagged a lowly imp instead. The good news: I wasn't immediately maimed by my intended summon that emerged from a broken circle. The bad news: I was put to sleep for a week and I lost most of my most valuable enchantment ingredients. Anytime you make a critical mistake like that in this job and live through it, that's a lucky win for you. But darn if it didn't suck to spend at least a decade restocking my pantry, so to speak.
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Aug 31, 2020 01:49
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Jon Joe posted:If you haven't seen a druid perform great feats of evil you haven't been hanging around the right druids. It's not about evilness, I just think magicians and priests shouldn't mingle. Call me a traditionalist, but if it's good enough Kael'ronth, Master of the Hel-Cabals then it's good enough for me.
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Aug 31, 2020 01:51
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Asterite34 posted:Just lol at trying to rule a layer of the Abyss, that's like being a slumlord. Get yourself your own bespoke demiplane in the Deep Astral where you define all laws of reality. Sure, mine's on the smaller side, but when you're an absolute god, you can tolerate ruling a universe the size of a New York apartment Dude, I conquered my layer of the abyss the old-fashioned way, by forging an alliance with a demon, then betraying them and taking their stuff. I was mortal, (okay I was a lich, but I wasn't a god) and I walked away with divine power. I already had my own pocketplane, and it was a a lot bigger than a New York City apartment. I saw a road to godhood, I took it, and then that layer of the abyss became a liability. I have a cult of worshippers on the Prime, so I didn't need it. I'm not gonna say I was happy when the demon princes told me they were destroying my layer to stop the constant invasions by pissed off angels, but ultimately it was a good move, because I'm no longer tied down. Oh speaking of pissed off angels, if your mission involves killing 10 or more paladins, I give a 5% discount!
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Aug 31, 2020 02:03
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Shinjobi posted:Anyone got any fun stories of mistaken summoning? We all go through that at least once or twice!
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Aug 31, 2020 02:11
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Jon Joe posted:(Druids also allowed.) i never thought i'd see the day okay, here's the scoop: i'm a simple neutral druid. i don't think i'm asking too big a favor but there are way too many of you who just really don't get it and you never seem to loving get the hint collectively. you know those idiots in the castles you hate so much you summoned a whole army to defeat? you know how much smarter than they are you think you are? well, get a load of this you see, after the fourth or fifth son/nephew/cousin leading a group of poachers found themselves with a nice rack and standing on all fours, those numbskulls actually learned they shouldn't loving go in my forest!! some of them, i didn't even have to touch any of their heirs before they declared my forest off limits (i know this because idiots from those kingdoms decided to try and get in anyway and had incredibly loud, stupid conversations about how peaceful the forest was and how their leaders were full of poo poo, right up until I polymorphed them into foxes and relocated them near the edge of their countries' hunting ground). but for some reason you dark wizards always have your goddamned unnatural summons cutting down my trees, trampling over my plants, and slaughtering my animals. doesn't matter how many of you i deal with, nobody ever gets the clue that hey, maybe going through the mountains or desert will be easier instead! i know, i know, why the gently caress should you care? what's in it for you? i'm definitely not a challenge, why not just roll me over then? well, aside from the fact i've had this problem for centuries and always come out ahead, i'm willing to share information. that's right, i am offering to be an inside man for most any kingdom you want to conquer nearby. i've made certain deals with direct kings and queens, and as much as it pains me to even get close to a loving city and find most everything in there utterly loathsome, happened to end up with a fair bit of trust and dirt on a lot of people. all i ask is that once you've done that and made your conquest, you pass on the word to other dark wizards that my forest is off limits and anyone who thinks differently will have to take it up with you and your new kingdom's army. please? i'm tired of having to clean up and regrow every few years only for some other dumb shmuck thinking he's hell's gift to earth tromping through and proving he's even dumber than the loving nobles who say "i can't believe you're so civilized for a druid" and uggghhh just thinking about that makes me want to turn into a tree for a few centuries
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Aug 31, 2020 02:42
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi_hcwB8i64
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Aug 31, 2020 02:44
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Draft Wizard
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Aug 31, 2020 02:54
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so i hate to be this guy, but i want to revisit the whole 'cloak' thing. i understand the need to have freedom of motion to make mystical gestures and draw sigils in the aether or whatever, but i'd really feel more comfortable in a track suit.
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Aug 31, 2020 02:56
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Prof. Crocodile posted:so i hate to be this guy, but i want to revisit the whole 'cloak' thing. i think a track suit is a brilliant costume for an evil wizard because then you can easily disguise yourself as a clueless hero from another world and earn everyone's trust before stabbing them in the back
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Aug 31, 2020 02:58
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vleh, it is I, a vampire! I learned necromancy as an elective back in vampire college, are screaming skulls still the hot new thing to summon? I don't want to embarrass myself summoning unfashionable undead.
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Aug 31, 2020 03:04
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Prof. Crocodile posted:so i hate to be this guy, but i want to revisit the whole 'cloak' thing. Its equally about the cultural identity as utility, no one is going to take you seriously as a dark wizard if you're in a track suit
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Aug 31, 2020 03:08
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Bismuth posted:Its equally about the cultural identity as utility, no one is going to take you seriously as a dark wizard if you're in a track suit Yeah, even if it's covered in arcane symbols, you're still coming off as a poseur.
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Aug 31, 2020 03:09
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You better at least be a necropsionicyst
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Aug 31, 2020 03:43
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blood magic is cooler then necromancy
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Aug 31, 2020 03:47
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Badactura posted:vleh, it is I, a vampire! I learned necromancy as an elective back in vampire college, are screaming skulls still the hot new thing to summon? I don't want to embarrass myself summoning unfashionable undead. people will say that blood fiends are this year's IT summon, but if you ask me screaming skulls are classic and have never gone out of style
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Aug 31, 2020 04:05
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Ignatius M. Meen posted:i never thought i'd see the day I'd be down with a deal like this as long as you were curating a dark twisted forest. You know, evil sentient trees, kills all travelers, breeds hordes of ravenous wolves, that sort of thing. Let me see if my cult has a chapter near you and we might work out a deal. Also I'll let you reclaim one city to nature for free if conquering this kingdom leads to me killing paladins.
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Aug 31, 2020 04:22
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