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Dark wizard here, just wondering what y'all have been doing about lit candles, lately I just look elsewhere to do my dark bidding
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Sep 2, 2020 18:14
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Skypie posted:Couple classmates in my old university were ancient druids. Gotta tell you, those ladies were hardcore. Entrail reading on still-living paladins, human sacrifice, blood curses, the whole 9 yards entrail reading was thaumaturgically proven to be woo so gj falling for that bull poo poo, i hope at least you got some strange brah
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Sep 2, 2020 18:45
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A Fancy Hat posted:Anti-paladins are okay if you need to like, really quickly kill off some guys attacking your castle of whatever. And they're fine if you just need a dude to come in, kill some beasts, and leave. in practice lawful evil is best for long plots where over centuries you create an evil empire to rule with an iron fist for for all time, that kinda thing. I don’t have that kind of attention span chaotic evil is for WHEN YOU’VE GOTTA DESTROY STUFF NOW, BOOM EXPLOSIONS. tends not to create lasting accomplishments I stick with neutral evil acts mostly, you get access to all the best evil spells and you don’t have to be perfectly ordered or chaotic but whatever. if you get a little too lawful, go nuts, do some crazy stuff. and if you’ve been too chaotic just settle down and study in your tower for a while u til your balanced again
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Sep 2, 2020 19:21
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do you have any idea how hard it is to maintain your alignment when you're neutral good but your innate element is Dark? after a certain point you either give up and turn Evil, or you dip psionics and buy a microwave
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Sep 2, 2020 19:46
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I hear charged magic crystals from the lost continent of Woo help you maintain your alignment! In fact I just got a shipment
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Sep 2, 2020 19:55
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sweet geek swag posted:How does this help you? Hmmm, well, I guess what you could take from it is that you should always kill paladins.
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Sep 2, 2020 21:16
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Defund the Church of Pelor
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Sep 2, 2020 21:33
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The White Dragon posted:entrail reading was thaumaturgically proven to be woo so gj falling for that bull poo poo, i hope at least you got some strange brah Well, we were all young and dumb once, yknow? Besides even if it is bullshit, it was still hardcore at the time
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Sep 2, 2020 22:08
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Who What Now posted:Defund the Church of Pelor Uhh you mean the church of Burning Hate Who Stares Down Upon Us From On High? Just because it's a sun god doesn't mean it's not evil, it gives people cancer for pelors sake
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Sep 2, 2020 22:15
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Who What Now posted:Oh, so you think you're a dark wizard? Name every hex used by Aganar the Blighted. Anti skub LifeWAP Raise Fred Willard Rage against the Machine Um.... Dick blight Sous vide
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Sep 2, 2020 22:26
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Who What Now posted:Defund the Church of Pelor I don't get the druid mad-on, but I can deffo see the pellar hate.
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Sep 2, 2020 22:29
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pellars are ok in my book they're basically self taught/"wild" technomancers but with divination instead of security systems
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Sep 2, 2020 22:33
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Waterbed Wendy posted:Anti skub drat, you're good
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Sep 2, 2020 22:35
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Waterbed Wendy posted:Anti skub this reminds me that i recently crafted a scroll of LifeWASP, which is a panera bread gift card with unlimited $ i will trade it for a gargoyle of reputable make or a vintage burberry track suit
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Sep 2, 2020 23:03
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Awesome, I have been raising boners for almost all my life now. I got into the dark arts in my teen years, roughly around puberty. So far my craft works only on myself, but you cannot achieve true power without dedication and repeated practice. Am I right, guys and druids?
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Sep 3, 2020 12:03
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Sooo you're a solo bard?
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Sep 3, 2020 12:18
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https://youtu.be/FyyTzkktjsI
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Aug 3, 2021 02:04
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A Diabolical necro.
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Aug 3, 2021 10:40
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It's all coming together. The other wizard threads must now obey this one. One wizard thread to rule them all, one wizard thread to find them. One wizard thread to post them all, and in the darkness bind them. Blurry Gray Thing fucked around with this message at 11:22 on Aug 3, 2021 |
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Aug 3, 2021 10:51
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The Wizards' Council is detecting unacceptable levels of dark arts itt don't make me send the auditors guys cmon help me out here
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Aug 3, 2021 19:23
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Strategic Tea posted:The Wizards' Council is detecting unacceptable levels of dark arts itt don't make me send the auditors guys cmon help me out here Lol, the Wizards Council. Gonna call the Better Business Bureau too?
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Aug 3, 2021 22:21
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You got to follow The Law. You can be evil about it but you still have to.
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Aug 3, 2021 22:27
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There's nothing worse than some Ka'rren with rudimentary knowledge of potioncraft.
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Aug 4, 2021 02:02
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sweet geek swag posted:Lol, the Wizards Council. Gonna call the Better Business Bureau too? LOOOL the wizard council one time tried to flaunt being super rich in my face once using a Diners Club card. A DINERS CLUB CARD
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Aug 4, 2021 02:28
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Check this out: do you know why druids are no good at counting through odd necromancy spells? Because they CAN'T EVEN
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Aug 4, 2021 02:33
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Nah nah nah, it's cool, druids are are cool, I'm just busting your balls. You guys bring the mad Stygian Black to parties and aren't afraid to get nasty with some dryads and poo poo
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Aug 4, 2021 02:35
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Lol did you scry the guy who tried to bust in a room protected by Greater Wards Against Malevolence? The runestone in his pocket activated and he summoned a lightning Elemental on his balls.
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Aug 4, 2021 03:04
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By all unholy feces, that was REAL?! I totally thought someone's imp was having some fun spreading rumors about chaotic neutral men at arms. I guess don't bring a silver short sword ( ooooooo I'm soooooo scared) to a heart paralysis fight
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Aug 4, 2021 03:20
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Do you guys just ever get.... tired? Like last night I caught myself animating pieces of my cereal (I was eating Ceral at night... that's just how its been recently...) and than eating them one by one and I was like 'why am I even doing this?', sometimes it feels like I have nothing real Does anyone know a demon who can consume ennui?
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Aug 5, 2021 07:55
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Motherfucker posted:Do you guys just ever get.... tired? Everyone who is or used to be mortal struggles with this. Really, it's the biggest problem with any form of "unnatural" life extension. Your mindset just can't adjust. There are two ways to solve it: One, you can get therapy. Two, you can invite a demon to live in your soul. Lot of people can't imagine why anyone would be "stupid enough" to do this. I'll admit, there are drawbacks. It can have a very permanent effect on your fashion sense, too (lots of people go into this business rolling their eyes at the flamboyant, impractical outfits, promising to themselves they'll never be "THAT kind of evil", right up until they are). All the same, there are few forms of happiness as pure as the joy of an infernal being fulfilling its purpose. It is boundless, brilliant, and inexhaustible. Lots of beings and constructs can do the same thing day in, day out, for a thousand years, but only a demon will always bring the same passion and creativity that it had when it started. Any demon will work, so long as it's a demon that shares your interests. I recommend dating the demon for at least two years before you commit to make sure you are truly compatible. Definitely get a prenup.
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Aug 5, 2021 10:13
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Just enchant your brain stupid
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Aug 5, 2021 12:01
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I think all these potions are loving up my kidneys. Seeing some real worrying colours in my morning prismatic spray iykwim
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Aug 5, 2021 12:36
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Alchemy artificer here so, basically a dark wizard, anyway do you often find that whenever you're casting "Cure Minor Wounds" or "Magic Stone" your allies kinda snicker or treat you like you're not helping? Wondering if I'm imagining this or if I got my best spells tainted with some kind of hideous laughter corruption or something
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Aug 5, 2021 12:57
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Motherfucker posted:Do you guys just ever get.... tired? I like to do a few things myself, 1 murder spree, 2 get involved with manipulating governments (start small and local), 3 open up random dimensional gates and see what comes out
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Aug 5, 2021 13:02
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Has anybody ever used The Unknowable Arch Fiend Contractors for castle building or remodeling? I'm looking to add a clock tower to my castle, they quoted me 2.4 million gold pieces for the job, which seems really high. I only had a few things I wanted in the tower: 1) Gears that fly off and attack anyone who enters 2) A stained glass window that I can enchant so it turns into a stained glass knight to defend the place 3) At least 5-6 spike-filled pits 4) The top of the clocktower needs to have a big metal thing that can get struck by lightning (even just a rod is fine but a cool statue would be ideal) Are they ripping me off? I also talked to Bardo's Discount Remodeling and Dungeon Design, they quoted me 1 million but they have a lot of bad reviews from other wizards that weren't happy with the finished product.
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Aug 5, 2021 13:09
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A Fancy Hat posted:Has anybody ever used The Unknowable Arch Fiend Contractors for castle building or remodeling? I'm looking to add a clock tower to my castle, they quoted me 2.4 million gold pieces for the job, which seems really high. I only had a few things I wanted in the tower: Have you thought about conjuring up some tinkers tools and making this a DIY with a fleet of affable Homunculi?
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Aug 5, 2021 13:12
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Bardo's sucks, don't do it - they literally sub-contract to a crew of devourers. It's entertaining to send other liches thier way though. The DIY thing is cool if you're going for maximum chaos, because unless you super-micro-manage, you are going to endup with a "clocktower" that has the latrine emptying directly into your vault of unspeakable terrors. Which is fine for unholy relics, but say goodbye to your dragons blood.
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Aug 5, 2021 13:39
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ilovebeersooomuch posted:Bardo's sucks, don't do it - they literally sub-contract to a crew of devourers. It's entertaining to send other liches thier way though. My lasy DIY project involved adding a system of drains that could open and close so I could flood the bottom floor of my dungeon with poison sludge as needed. The problem is I summoned a bunch of skeletons to do it. Unfortunately those guys suck at fine details (I guess because of the lack of skin maybe? who knows) so I had a ton of tiny leaks everywhere. The first time I flooded the dungeon half the gunk leaked into my graveyard and my cursed forest. I had to bring in a water mage to fix the leaks and a freaking druid to smooth things over with the forest spirits. It ended up costing me more in the long run than if I'd just paid an expert in the first place.
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Aug 5, 2021 13:44
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Aint glamorous, but here's your new spellbook Fancy Hat: Pave Grout Caulk Tile Repel Elements: Water Necromancy's fine but nothing beats one good afternoon of elbow grease, save up those ancient doubloons for waffle nachos at Grabens
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Aug 5, 2021 13:53
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ever thought about skeleton labor? tireless, fearless, and the cool thing is you can just start with some regular contractors and lock them in the dungeon until they skeletonize instead of paying them
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Aug 5, 2021 14:00
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