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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Return of the Dark Wizard Thread
 
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 Y'all Dark Wizards got a Union? Sign me up if so.

* # ¿ Jul 11, 2023 19:58
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# ¿ May 10, 2024 09:45
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Deki posted:

I've got lots of unions of things. Chimeras, skeleton abominations, the Fleshbeast.

Never had a volunteer before, but I guess I can incorporate another body into one.

*quietly rubs hands together evilly as you accomplish my plans....

* # ¿ Jul 12, 2023 00:13
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 *Puts on my floppy wizard hat....

* # ¿ Jul 16, 2023 00:10
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

HelleSpud posted:

The elf Sildenafil could help you with that...

I would trust no Wizard with an erect Wizard Hat.

* # ¿ Jul 18, 2023 21:02
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Tunicate posted:

It's not about how evil they are, it's about aesthetics. We don't want to put up with any wizards wearing white robes.

I''ll support an evil wizard. I won't support some racist POS wizard.

* # ¿ Jul 19, 2023 03:24
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

HelleSpud posted:

Right, forgot.

I've been Bog Hag-ing it and since everyone goes "soooo, a Witch, but crust punk?" I got myself a witch hat.

It's got one of those beer can hats inside, and the point screws off as a flask!

(but that's harder to be surreptitious about at the rite/coven/HOA meeting)

This Witch gets it.

* # ¿ Jul 19, 2023 04:07
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 I feel like I am some kind of common explorer/warrior and I don't understand how this world works at times. I just try my best to provide fish and small rodents to my family.

* # ¿ Sep 11, 2023 23:17
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

naem posted:

no worries, friend! come in, to my humble alchemy shop.

here, stand before my display counter, and look at all my brightly colored bottles!

no no here, stand, yes right in the middle of that rug that exactly matches the cracks in the floor.
don’t worry about that creaking.

yes, the floor is stone everywhere but under the rug.

yes, those are hinges don’t worry it’s very common in these old towers.

say, you’re not lactose intolerant or anything are you? any history of osteoporosis in your family? broken or sprained any limbs recently?

no no it’s for the potions don’t worry

I have been dreaming, for some strange reason, of this adventure. With magic and action and humor....

* # ¿ Sep 11, 2023 23:58
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 Also, gently caress so called "Dark Wizards"

Those Wizards ain't "Dark". They are just lying and stabbing people in the back.

More like Bitch rear end Wizards.

* # ¿ Sep 12, 2023 00:00
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

HelleSpud posted:

Once watched this guy spend ages building his tower. Had a normal-rear end name like "Ron" or "Rich" but he insisted everyone call him "Stargazer".

Anyway, did the whole spiel, enslaved thousands to die in his service, pierced the heavens, etc. etc.


Once it's finished, climbs to the top, prepares to fly . . . and just loving splats! LOLOLOL

Discount Furniture Tower

* # ¿ Sep 12, 2023 19:47
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

sounds like you got owned by one lol

get rekt redshirt, Dark Wizards 4 lyfe

Adds you to a "Dark Wizards" list

* # ¿ Sep 15, 2023 04:13
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Grey Cat posted:

Pff, your master only taught you dark arcane sigils and golemancy?
I was infusing demonic runes with blood by the age of 6!

Don't mess around here Grey Cat. This is Dark Wizard poo poo.

* # ¿ Sep 15, 2023 04:24
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

* # ¿ Sep 15, 2023 14:45
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# ¿ May 10, 2024 09:45
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

the holy poopacy posted:

Personally, I've always been more of a dungeon guy. Same idea, just upside down. Why not make your inner sanctum reach down to Hell instead of up to heaven? It just makes sense. Plus it's much better security. "Ooooh, I'll put my stronghold up in the air where it's hard to reach"? Really? You ever hear of a little thing called uhhhh FLYING? Terminal fighter brain thinking right there.

Agreed. Also there's all manner of demons and mutants and obstacles you can place in the ground. What are you gonna use in the sky? Fairies?

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2023 03:17
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Return of the Dark Wizard Thread