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Hey um, so I wonder if you guys can help me out with a ... I dunno, call it an alignment question? I was raised Lawful Good (on paper anyway) but honestly more Lawful Neutral in practice. I mean, yeah every Sabbath you'd find Dad out "communing with Nature spirits" but pretty sure he was just fishing. My folks are gone now though and the older I get the more I feel like I am just going through the motions to fit in with the clan. I tried talking to my sister about it, but she just blew up at me. Lots of snide cuts about how everyone goes through this phase the first time they earn enough gold to call it a proper hoard. And how I need to snap out of it and divest my earthly belongings before I fully transform into a Redcap and start consuming souls or running for office. And I cant even get her to listen to my side properly because she lives off the grid with her wood-elf husband and somehow she always "loses connection" to the scry tower right when it's my turn to talk. So, it comes down to: I LIKE decorating my lair with skulls and crimson drapery and tasteful bone furniture. And speaking of lairs, yeah I'd far rather lurk in a musty cave than climb to some leafy bower (I get vertigo). And I really love growing my hoard and thinking up clever traps to protect it and no, I don't feel bad for the jerks who break into my house to try to steal my stuff and end up exsanguinated. But does this mean I am capital-E evil? Or can I still file as Chaotic Neutral because I also like cute fuzzy things like kittens and spiders? Are there resources or guidebooks you'd recommend for someone struggling with alignment identity?
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Aug 26, 2021 03:03
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IShallRiseAgain posted:lol, look at this scrub. If you want to groundhog day someone properly, you have to lure them to a barren wasteland or somewhere else that is similarly hostile with very little stimuli and no chance of getting anywhere interesting before the loop resets. In a hundred years they will be completely insane. At worst, they might be very skilled at making stuff with dirt. I beg to differ. I did something similar once with a rogue - not actual groundhog-daying, but a bespelled portal in my lair that dumped him in the middle of a barren desert that took him 40 years to walk out of. The whole thing was actually miniaturized in a little snow globe I kept on my desk. Sometimes if I was having a bad day I would pick it up and give it a good shake, always cheered me right up. Anyway, long story short, by the time he made it out he had become this ascetic sage who connected spiritually to a higher power. I killed him immediately, of course, but he's got this sect of followers that are just a constant pain in my arse. You see them on every street corner handing out bundles of dried leaves and trying to lure people to come to their fellowship meetings to learn The Way of No Water.
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Dec 28, 2022 08:14
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Ok which one of you guys let a skeleton post in the OSHA thread?
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Dec 30, 2022 00:48
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ilovebeersooomuch posted:Fellow Dark Wizards, I have a quandary for which I did not anticipate. Oh that poseur. Yeah I dunno what gramarye he is sourcing from, but his schtick is that he is trying to build an undead army. Seriously, the whole flesh-eating thing is supposed to make his followers immortal or something. But whatever cut-rate zombie potion he is using, it seems to generate the "mindless violence" result but doesn't convey any longevity or ability to resurrect. Except for Strom Thurmond but I am pretty sure he was just a lich.
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Apr 9, 2023 04:05
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:I don’t know why, but I just had to carefully and extensively write down my plan to take over the world, explaining my steps in the most understandable and non technical way possible. I guess it just helps me clear my head! Mom always said I should’ve been a writer. Ugh my Dread Lord had us all do this once as a "motivation exercise" and then two weeks later we are all laid off and replaced by golems. Should have known somethung was up when he made us write everything out in blood on rolled-up scraps of parchment.
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Apr 11, 2023 11:03
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Faithless posted:Does anyone knows why Goblin Gainz has stopped trading down at the marketplace? Their protein mix was the best in the realm Oh yeah, someone did some independent lab testing and it turns out it's not made from goblins at all.
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Apr 27, 2023 15:16
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HelleSpud posted:Don't tell me it's made from people. I have been paying premium for people and if it turns out I could have been getting it at a discount... LOL nah, 100% cockroach, which you can get in bulk from that old one-eyed guy in the warehouse district without the 300% markup. If you are looking for savings on man-meat though, hit up my pal Viv at Soylent Femmes, tell her I sent you and we both get 10% off.
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Apr 27, 2023 21:02
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Tunicate posted:Alright which of you assholes ruined my bets I am extremely pissed about this. Seven deaths is just a huge pointless waste. It was *supposed* to be 13, like how are you gonna open a portal to dread R'lyeh with anything less than that? But one minion gets loose lips at the bar one night, and next thing you know you've got the freakin' Jersey mob horning in so they can weight the betting. Then *they* spill the beans to an undercover paladin and oops, there's all these do-gooders out there now disrupting power circles and limiting the carnage. Six drat months of work, down the drain. I don't even think I can cash in on these jockey-soul IOUs, I am pretty sure they all have prior liens.
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May 7, 2023 02:31
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:A Harper just vandalized my lair entrance!!! Fucker wrote "Dork Wizard Home" ! Uh-huh, sure, a "harper" did it. I am sure we won't later find that the damage was to easily-cleaned areas, using materials you conveniently left laying around? Smh. If you are gonna frame an enemy for a crime, you gotta a) be more creative and b) find a better class of enemy. A Harper? Really?
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May 26, 2023 04:13
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Ok so, this is a little embarrassing but I could use some advice. Awhile back, when I was young and horny, I did this infernal deal to make me attractive to a particular (dumb, but hot) person. It worked real well, so I did it a few more times whenever I got tired of the old model. But somehow the overlapping incantations kinda took on a life of their own and started spreading so now every dumb person who sees me starts to worship me, even the ones who are not hot.  At first it was kinda nice, I let them make me their god-emperor and they brought me steaks and cold drinks and taco salads whenever I wanted. Sometimes I set them to fighting each other for the LOLs. But then, they started wanting me to actually do like, god-stuff. Which is annoying because it doesn't benefit me so why would I even care? But they keep praying and begging and crowding around and touching me with their dirty peasant hands. I just want them to go away! I tried ignoring them and mocking them but it made them love me more. Tried inciting them to war so they'd all get killed off, but the dumbasses only wandered around the battlefield until they got lost or bored, so barely a handful died. Lately I have tried acting like a drooling idiot myself; I figured the more I act like them the more repulsive I would be (gods know they are disgusting and off-putting). But no matter how idiotically I behave, they are still there with the chanting and the worshipping and the "oh please smite my enemies" and ugh. Please don't ask me to cancel the original deal, that would mean I would lose my pulling power for the actual hot ones. I just wanna know how I can make the rest of the shambling masses go back to worshipping from afar and not expecting results?
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Jul 11, 2023 04:59
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FilthyImp posted:Set up a caste system for your followers where the wretched and ugly become beautiful demigods in the next life if they work sufficiently hard in your name on your projects (but stay away). Hmm, I like your thinking. Maybe I will institute some kind of pageant so they can self-select the hotties from the uggos.
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Jul 11, 2023 06:02
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During the last raging pestilence that swept through the region* I found that I really dig the Plague Doctor vibe. It has all the benefits of your usual wizard robe (e.g., toss it on over whatever 'fit, and nobody knows if you're going commando that day) plus with the mask, I don't have to worry about pesky things like oral hygiene or the fact that I can't grow a proper Evil Beard to save my life. Bonus points that nobody can see me rolling my eyes at the Spellcasters Local 360 meetings when the Paladins take the floor to whinge about who keeps contaminating the groundwater. *Look I am just saying, if it's *that* important to properly dispose of used spell ingredients, then maybe the packet of pox-ridden graveyard bone dust TM should have a warning label about why it shouldn't get dumped into the nearest reservoir.
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Jul 19, 2023 10:19
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Automatic Slim posted:The best thing about plague doctor masks is that you can stuff psychedelic herbs down the beak and trip balls during those meetings. LOL I turned mine into a bong and convinced everyone I am 1/8th Fire Demon and that's why I sometimes blow smoke. The only ones who actually recognize the smell are the druids but I am half Druish on my mom's side so they won't dime me out. Sometimes I set up a containment globe over our corner of the room so we can hotbox.
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Jul 19, 2023 12:07
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Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:2023 and the discrimination does not end I am just mad at the botched iconography. Everyone knows the "no" symbol is supposed to go on top of the proscribed item. That kind of sloppy runescribing is how you end up botching a level 1 summoning and filling your lair with lymph.
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Sep 20, 2023 07:02
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