|
Who What Now posted:The trick is to inscribe the Curse of D'Har (or your curse of choice of equal or greater power, I just find that the CoD'H is the most convenient) on a regenerating creature like a lesser troll. The curse will infuse the creature down to its soul, including it's bones which will be especially infused with dark energies. You merely need to remove the limbs and strip them of flesh to have enchanted bones. This does, or course, mean a lot of upfront costs, but you can sell excess bones to other sorcerer's. oh man, this reminds me, one time early in my necromancy career I defeated a troll, and raised his skeleton as a minion. anyways it started gradually regenerating it’s flesh around the bones but the skeleton remained loyal- so I had this healthy alive conscious troll wrapped around my skeleton minion, like a puppet. trolls are evil giant monsters and stuff but I felt like, super bad- plus with low INT he just couldn’t figure out what was going on as he got marched around by his own skeleton, it was obviously a pretty emotional experience for the guy the only thing the troll and his own skeleton could agree on was MEAT which they were both pretty excited about. eventually he grew a whole new skeleton and the old one popped out, I let em both go (mostly because of how much MEAT they ate, that got expensive fast) I like to think they went off to have wacky buddy cop adventures, eating people and smashing stuff
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2020 05:39
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 10, 2024 04:46 |
|
|
Motherfucker posted:One of my acolytes did something similar... She needed a big big undead hand to make a special trap work, something with a good handspan yaknow? Everyone said 'Use an ogre' so she and the cult go and hunt down an ogre... trolls are classic dungeon monsters, orks and goblins are classic minions but personally I’ve learned to avoid them, a little too much chaos for me. trolls eat WAY too much to be profitable and orks have crazy good labor unions. crazy good. “Minions assault the castle!” “Mug-Lugck think we discuss terms of 403B retirement plan first.” Uugh goblins reproduce so fast you can’t project labor costs more than a fiscal quarter at a time, makes taxes a nightmare
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2020 07:26
|
|
|
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2020 07:47
|
|
|
KillerJunglist posted:Uh, hi guys! Newish necromancer here. ok well first off, friends? adventuring?? I’ll assume you are low level and this is a scheme to gain exp, then betray your fellows (and make them into skeletons) as for skeleton control, they obey direct orders and are completely literal so tell them “dig a hole” and they will dig FOREVER until you stop them. that’s actually how my dungeon got started, I forgot some guys in the basement and they just went nuts down there. they hit a natural cave system and defeated the creatures they found, and skeletonized them, suddenly I’ve got a small army on my hands. I can’t tell which are the original dudes so they’re miles underground at this point digging’ away expanding my empire (originally I just wanted a latrine pit!)
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2020 17:58
|
|
|
sweet geek swag posted:Congratulations on raising your first skeleton! So some points. First, what you have done there is a simple corpse animation. You have to weave the methods of control into your animation spell, otherwise it will just follow you around like that. The reason this is, is because if you get too far from the skeleton, it will just collapse, as your magic is powering this thing. It isn't draining you or anything, you are just the focus. huh you know, when I first founded my wizard tower I found the Tomb of Raise Skeleton and also this glowing purple gem that I wear on my neck. When I put it in my inventory it said “The Soul Gem.” I think that’s what’s powering my skeletons? I got bored casting “raise skeleton” so I set it to go off automatically every couple hours to capture and new dead guys in the dungeon for me. Adventurers keep showing up to fight THE LAIR OF THE SKULL KING and then dying down in what was supposed to be my guest bedroom’s latrine pit, when they die down there it’s like boom, skeletons. Anyways the gem super cool and spooky, and if any adventurers figure out that I am THE SKULL KING (and not just a humble alchemist they bought potions from before the dungeon) they’ll have to smash the gem first. I’ve got a plan though- I’ll walk in predictable patterns and release an area affect spell, crouching, then only expose the gem for a split second. Then if I get damage I’ll start walking even faster (in the same predictable pattern), making sure to still expose the gem at regular intervals. Been practicing my cackles too, should really up the ambiance
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2020 18:13
|
|
|
Sex Skeleton posted:Is this zone safe for sentient skeletons? Asking for a friend. Kevin! Get back in the dungeon, there are adventurers wrecking the place. Careful, they brought a cleric, he’s got “banish undead” Here take this barrel, and this Rusty Dagger©®™️, you can hide inside and jump out when they smash it looking for loot. (don’t hide next to the flashing red barrels, they explode)
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2020 22:37
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:What's wrong with recruiting boring old humans? Make the brave heroes doubt for a moment or two before they massacre all the urchins, vagrants, and the usual types happy to join any cause for a cot and 3 meals a day. I’ll hire humans for work skeletons can’t do, just make sure there’s no paper trail and feed them to the skeletons before paying. the best part is- more skeletons!
|
|
#
¿
Sep 1, 2020 02:40
|
|
|
darkness and tentacles was the name of my band back in necrollege
|
|
#
¿
Sep 1, 2020 07:10
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat posted:Anti-paladins are okay if you need to like, really quickly kill off some guys attacking your castle of whatever. And they're fine if you just need a dude to come in, kill some beasts, and leave. in practice lawful evil is best for long plots where over centuries you create an evil empire to rule with an iron fist for for all time, that kinda thing. I don’t have that kind of attention span chaotic evil is for WHEN YOU’VE GOTTA DESTROY STUFF NOW, BOOM EXPLOSIONS. tends not to create lasting accomplishments I stick with neutral evil acts mostly, you get access to all the best evil spells and you don’t have to be perfectly ordered or chaotic but whatever. if you get a little too lawful, go nuts, do some crazy stuff. and if you’ve been too chaotic just settle down and study in your tower for a while u til your balanced again
|
|
#
¿
Sep 2, 2020 19:21
|
|
|
https://youtu.be/FyyTzkktjsI
|
|
#
¿
Aug 3, 2021 02:04
|
|
|
ever thought about skeleton labor? tireless, fearless, and the cool thing is you can just start with some regular contractors and lock them in the dungeon until they skeletonize instead of paying them
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2021 14:00
|
|
|
the problem with skelentons is you have to be REALLY SPECIFIC with instructions. like I chucked some guys shovels and said “dig a hole!” and forgot about em for a bit, came back and they’d hollowed out half a mountain. also if you don’t supervise closely, skellentons morph every construction project into a dungeon. like, wooden beams, stone floors, spikes, chains, skulls- where are they getting the skulls from?? I’ve got a whole skull cathedral down there, I just wanted a latrine pit. I almost feel bad pooping into it. and why would the skeleton of a guy who died in a dungeon want to build more dungeons, you’d think they’d be anti-dungeon.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2021 14:43
|
|
|
Hihohe posted:Listen here you edgelord err, yeah so think you may have had a change of ALIGNMENT there friend have you been fighting a lot of paladins lately? they might have BLESSED you because that all sounds like LAWFUL NEUTRAL behavior which we all know is a slippery slope to LAWFUL GOOD also re: goblins, if you get more than 100 one will usually become a Goblin Big Boss and expect preferential treatment. At 500 they recruit a Bog Wench who starts talking about Union Benefits. And at 1000 they elect a King Goblin and stop listening to you entirely
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2021 20:14
|
|
|
Fur20 posted:im not a dark wizard or anything but like, so i've been a hedonist-school Sorcerer all my life but in the past i dunno five years i've been trying to get buff so i've been gaining levels in Ranger right? well it sounds like you’ve set yourself to be able to SEDUCE, ANIMALS and while this may be an evil thread there are some thing we just can’t condone
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2021 20:34
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:Corner the sausage in a bun industry by having literally free meat. I suggest starting with a few goblin employees before expanding further. I knew a guy who tried this with Trolls and the sausages kept regenerating into complete trolls. The Trolls kept fighting over which one of them was the “real” Troll it was a mess. Also the Trolls kept eating the sausages and then pooping and new trolls would regenerate from the poop, just Trolls running amuck pooping whole new trolls out all over the place. Human Resources kept insisting that the new Trolls were employees now and they had legal rights and should be put on payroll, until their lawyer pointed out they weren’t Human and they turned the lawyer and HR dept into sausages
|
|
#
¿
Aug 11, 2021 14:49
|
|
|
ok so, you know how I have that (accidental) infinite dungeon full of skeletons that I lure adventuring parties into? and how they are ultimately defeated and they then become the skeletons? so I’ve done some mental math and, like every adventurer probably crunches dozens, hundreds, of skeletons before going down. so um, where are all the skeletons coming from?? I think I might have accidentally taped into the Elemental Plane of Skeletons where everything is Skeleton
|
|
#
¿
Aug 15, 2021 02:11
|
|
|
Hey now fellas! We have a classic “chaotic evil” vs “lawful evil” argument going on here, we’ve seen it all before. As a “neutral evil” I will as usual step in and broker peace, while quietly undermining you both of course
|
|
#
¿
Aug 16, 2021 21:31
|
|
|
secular woods sex posted:Tbh I think the thread title may be discouraging to Non-Evil magic users, and it is stifling discussion. I can’t promise we won’t attempt to corrupt them to the darks arts
|
|
#
¿
Aug 19, 2021 19:56
|
|
|
Weka posted:I have been working on the most fiendish spell of all, mass reduce balls, but I need a hair from the one true pig balls. Does anyone know Phuc Yu's location? enlarge balls is a more evil spell because then they’re always bumpin’ into stuff
|
|
#
¿
Aug 22, 2021 02:50
|
|
|
https://youtu.be/r2gd6a90AbE
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2021 01:18
|
|
|
whew I just freed myself from a logic loop where I was stuck in NPC mode for a couple weeks “Welcome to my shop” “I’m just a humble alchemist,” pacing back and forth between two locations and then lying down fully clothed on a bed for exactly 8 hours. some guy put a bucket over my head and robbed the place blind like, four times. I’d be embarrassed except it turns out I did it to myself to protect against scrying, turns out no one can read your thoughts if you have none. thought the paladins were on to me finally and were going to figure out I am behind the TOMB OF ANCIENT SKELETONS. Some idiot adventurer left a door open and bunch of skeletons got out of the TOMB and ran amok across the countryside. It was pretty bad I thought they were going to wipe the server to deal with it. The Paladins sent some top people to investigate, the rare smart kind who actually run stuff and not the typical mid-level zealots who believe all the hype. Hiding my mind inside some base code worked pretty well when they came to investigate; my front business here as an alchemy shop keeper is boring enough no one sticks around to find the trap door to The Skeleton Pit (which of course began as a latrine for my spare bedroom that got out of control when some skeletons I summoned never stopped digging) I took a look into my dungeon and found what’s left of a good dozen full blown capital-P Paladins. luckily for me there’s like, eleventy eight bizzilion skeletons down there. My one great secret is that there is no point to the skeleton pit; no evil plot, no dastardly plan- it’s just, it’s a hole, that’s a dungeon, and, a whole bunch of fuckin’ skeletons. Like and I rent them out as henchmen. there’s no point to the pit, there’s no goal. Do gooders come seeking to defeat THE SKELETON KING of THE SKELETON TOMB and I’m like, not sure there is one down there. I mean maybe I haven’t looked around, maybe one of the skellies has like a different hat or whatever. They just “dig holes”and “attack adventurers” and “gnaw flesh” which of course “makes more skeletons” anyways one of the paladins is a Death Knight now so that’s pretty good. I can get good money for that guy. Or toss him a crown, hang a sign that says SkElEtOn KiNg. Make some adventurers happy when they fight him, before being inevitably overpowered by skeletons and their flesh gnawed off, so I can rent them out. It’s a living!
|
|
#
¿
Jan 18, 2022 02:00
|
|
|
ilovebeersooomuch posted:Btw, does this robe make my rear end look big? ilovebeersooomuch posted:It should since it's a robe of rear end-embiggening, just checking to see what the increase looks like somebody installed a bunch of mods on this server, everyone ran around in a bikini and high heels with purple hair extensions for a couple weeks. ever seen a skeleton with hair extensions?? not pretty. and the bikini was empty but stuck out like a wonderbra. disturbing honestly. this pocket dimension I live in (for tax purposes) being a video game server has been great in a lot of ways but it crosses lines sometimes
|
|
#
¿
Jan 18, 2022 16:16
|
|
|
ilovebeersooomuch posted:This is intriguing err my accountant set this all up, some kind of tax loophole, I’m not 100% sure how this all works but I do know nobody messes with the IRS. talk about evil. it’s like, some things are TOO dark you know?
|
|
#
¿
Jan 20, 2022 04:09
|
|
|
ilovebeersooomuch posted:Honestly, I hope you've got unmittigated control over your accountant, like his family hostage or addicted to Stink Joans Warts or something because it sounds like they could really compromise your dark wizardry given you don't know how that stuff works. Oh! Yeah, I skeleton-ed him. Did a whole H&R Block actually. The only bad part is the student loan people kept coming after the accountants even as skellentons, those guys never give up. Actually the mmo my server is in was failing slowly so I sent some skeletons to the real world to go start accounts to bump up the player base. They farm gold to sell to pay their fees, very loyal players. Their guild is just called MEAT though and that is the only word they ever chat. They all want to play undead too, just skeletons playing skelentons all typing MEAT and completing repetitive fetch quests for gold. Can’t imagine what the developers think about it
|
|
#
¿
Jan 21, 2022 03:04
|
|
|
oh it’s kevin! yeah, he got into some embiggening potion I’d brewed up. my cover as an Alchemist means I have to brew potions still sometimes and I made a batch a little too strong. I guess the potion smelled a bit like MEAT and you know they can’t resist (don’t ask me how they smell with no nose). he looks depressed hope he’s doing ok. he was too big to fit back into the pit of doom
|
|
#
¿
Mar 21, 2022 18:17
|
|
|
I’m just trying to make some money off of skeletons I mean I’ve got so many of them
|
|
#
¿
Apr 8, 2022 13:47
|
|
|
FilthyImp posted:Have you considered the lucrative market of Dungeon Staging? it’s funny, I never gave my skeletons any kind of instructions on like, decorating my dungeon, I just tossed some guys shovels you know? next thing I know they’ve hollowed out half a mountain down there, with heavy timber beam supports and like, cranes and big molten pots of, I don’t know steel? they’re like, smelting down there And a uniform decor choice too, lots of spikes and skulls. Don’t ask me where the skulls are coming from (other skeletons??) I just wanted a latrine pit and forgot about them too long now BOOM dungeon
|
|
#
¿
Apr 8, 2022 14:00
|
|
|
I had a Meat Beast fall into my Skeleton Pit one time, THAT was a mess the skeletons of course want to eat MEAT it’s like, their one drive, and Meat Beasts want to ABSORB FLESH, yeah it wasn’t pretty. ever see 100’s of ants on a popsicle? they just kept gnawing bits off him that would fall through their rib cage to the ground, then the bits would crawl back into the Beast. the skeletons are all yelling meat MEAT mEaT and the beast is yelling FLESH!!, back and forth for DAYS. the Beast’s owner came and got him eventually, he was pretty cool about the whole thing too (which I of course took as weakness and skeletonized him, dispelling the Beast and feeding all the meat to my guys) I’d hoped he was a necromancer to add to my army but he just had a Tome of Flesh or something. Must have taken him forever to enchant all that MEAT
|
|
#
¿
May 19, 2022 19:32
|
|
|
ilovebeersooomuch posted:Yeah this sounds like it would be hysterical at first but get old really fast. fun story, I just spent most of a year as a SKELENTON I got straight up vanquished by a barbarian, lost all my HP and got sparta kicked right into my own skeleton pit. I was gone before they ate off all my flesh thank goodness (badness) but in a stroke of luck I had the Tome of Flesh in my hand as I fell. The Tome had some kind of slow acting FLESH spell active on it and I knit back together. I’ve got, I don’t know how many horcrux’es out there so I’d have come back eventually anyway but it’s nice to be in my own bod again. It’s funny, I got started in the skellenton business by accident when I found a Tome of Summon Skeleton under the floorboards of my alchemy tower. I didn’t realize it was activated until skeletons started showing up randomly. I’d asked them to dig me a new latrine pit and came back to find the whole labyrinthine skeleton dungeons level below my spare bedroom. It’s like an anthill down there they really went for it. Growing my flesh back was SUPER itchy buts it’s all back now pretty much. Actually the FLESH TOME is still down there too, it’s probably generating FLESH GOLEMS when I feed the guys scraps, I bet they love it. Skelentons are like snakes they really prefer live food. And I KNOW that now, still kinda craving MEAT
|
|
#
¿
Dec 27, 2022 20:26
|
|
|
EmbryoSteve posted:Always glad to see this thread be necro'd by my fellow dark wizards. you always want your kids to have, more than you had nothing like seeing them succeed
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2022 00:37
|
|
|
secular woods sex posted:Groundhog Day them for a couple millennia. hey now that’s, this is the dark thread not the super mega be a giant monster thread
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2022 05:03
|
|
|
wcg appears to be stuck in a text rpg
|
|
#
¿
Dec 28, 2022 16:11
|
|
|
have you guys every noticed just how awesome mEAt is? MeaT haha I was just thinking, it’s like MEat you know? MEAT ha. MEAT MEAT MEATmeat gah yeah ok, not sure I’ve fully deskellentoned yet
|
|
#
¿
Dec 29, 2022 00:39
|
|
|
mEaTt
|
|
#
¿
Dec 30, 2022 01:24
|
|
|
perhaps you should ensure you always have at least the minimum required number of skeletons from now on
|
|
#
¿
Dec 30, 2022 03:46
|
|
|
skellenton
|
|
#
¿
Apr 10, 2023 16:06
|
|
|
Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:I don’t know why, but I just had to carefully and extensively write down my plan to take over the world, explaining my steps in the most understandable and non technical way possible. I guess it just helps me clear my head! Mom always said I should’ve been a writer. make sure to set the parchment on a platform with lots of candles lighting it dramatically and gems and gold chests all around it, maybe put a dragon or a lightning bolt symbol pointing at it. you wouldn’t want to forget how important it is. oh and if you have a big glowing gem that is the source of all your power and also your only weakness, make sure to leave lots of artwork of yourself with the Soul Gem™️©️ really prominent, and scatter references to The Soul Gem©️™️ all over your dungeon
|
|
#
¿
Apr 11, 2023 14:28
|
|
|
HOA’s, pure lawful evil
|
|
#
¿
Apr 12, 2023 02:05
|
|
|
Yvershek posted:The other thread is making us evil wizards grouped in with the more focused profit seeking types. lawful evil Colonel Cancer posted:If you do evil for profit you don't deserve to call yourself a dark wizard. Choose to blow up the moon, burn and orphanage or beat up some nerds because it makes a statement! chaotic evil
|
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2023 03:02
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 10, 2024 04:46 |
|
|
sweet geek swag posted:I'm just trying to transform people into more useful things like transforming them into ladybugs so you can harvest their ladybug oil?! neutral evil although it is edging into chaotic neutral territory
|
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2023 14:45
|
|