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I'm behind 7 veils of misdirection, scry all you want!
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Aug 30, 2020 23:09
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Not true. Even a basic Lich like some of you assembled in this thread would easily disprove this statement.
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Aug 30, 2020 23:15
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You better at least be a necropsionicyst
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Aug 31, 2020 03:43
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Truespeaking is for paladins and other chumps, now Falsespeaking is a true power trove.
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Aug 31, 2020 05:17
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Just find yourself a nice decay druid to have a chat with the tree. A few words and it will never bother you again.
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Aug 31, 2020 17:22
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What's wrong with recruiting boring old humans? Make the brave heroes doubt for a moment or two before they massacre all the urchins, vagrants, and the usual types happy to join any cause for a cot and 3 meals a day.
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Sep 1, 2020 02:06
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Don't chill touch tunes by dead musicians, you'll thank me
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Sep 1, 2020 03:48
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Are dark bards ok?
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Sep 1, 2020 06:15
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You just gotta move these dead bones bones bones *Strums lute*
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Sep 1, 2020 20:51
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Awizardspreads.pdf!? What manner of foul sorcery is this 
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Sep 2, 2020 14:46
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FilthyImp posted:What is that man doing to his abyssal portal of torment The abyssal portal is ajar, ia ia ia.
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Sep 2, 2020 16:19
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I hear charged magic crystals from the lost continent of Woo help you maintain your alignment! In fact I just got a shipment
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Sep 2, 2020 19:55
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Who What Now posted:Defund the Church of Pelor Uhh you mean the church of Burning Hate Who Stares Down Upon Us From On High? Just because it's a sun god doesn't mean it's not evil, it gives people cancer for pelors sake
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Sep 2, 2020 22:15
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Sooo you're a solo bard?
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Sep 3, 2020 12:18
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You got to follow The Law. You can be evil about it but you still have to.
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Aug 3, 2021 22:27
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Just enchant your brain stupid
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Aug 5, 2021 12:01
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Zombies are better labor force for dark wizards, they never even try to unionize unlike the skeletons, bonegolems and minor liches
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Aug 5, 2021 14:48
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That's not very dark wizardly of you, are you sure you haven't wandered into the wrong dungeon 
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Aug 5, 2021 15:31
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That's why you always make an example of them whenever they fail you, you got to keep it under 100 sapient henchmen (and in an environment of constant paranoia and backstabbing) at any time or they try to organize
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Aug 5, 2021 20:18
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Corner the sausage in a bun industry by having literally free meat. I suggest starting with a few goblin employees before expanding further.
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Aug 5, 2021 21:21
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naem posted:I knew a guy who tried this with Trolls and the sausages kept regenerating into complete trolls. Uh bud troll resources is one door down the hall. Just keep going until you see a big mossy troll with a club beating the lesser trolls into submission.
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Aug 15, 2021 03:47
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Broker peace huh? Everyone! We got a filthy do-gooder over here!
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Aug 16, 2021 23:57
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Hey, I think I saw your van somewhere, weedmage
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Aug 19, 2021 22:36
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This isn't a basement, gosh, mom. It's a dungeon!
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Aug 19, 2021 23:43
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You're thinking of druids again. Tromping around some dirty wet forest, sky-clad and with a sickle in each hand, ugh.
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Aug 19, 2021 23:47
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You can't make a skeleton out of a tree but you drat well can make a zombie. They still only hunger for sun and water and don't move around so it might be easier to just leaf them around
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Aug 20, 2021 07:07
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What sort of dark bard invented boy bands
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Aug 21, 2021 06:13
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Oh no, some devilishly handsome sorcerer has turned all the lust bums in the kingdom into blast bums in an explosive act of magery and legerdemain
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Aug 21, 2021 23:12
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Just replace all your workforce with treadgoblins, legless horrors, lamia skeletons and floating skulls, you'll save hundreds in cobblers fees
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Aug 25, 2021 07:58
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I think you have to ask them to invite you in thrice and they will repent and forgive your indiscretion, such are their mysterious druish ways
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Jan 17, 2022 21:34
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Just tell him you meant it, and if they don't pay up, their whole body will get stoned too. This is dark wizard thread bud!
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Jan 18, 2022 15:26
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You can't hellfirewall demons, dude. They practically live in that poo poo. You gotta reach into the loathsome higher dimensions for a celestial wall.
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Mar 26, 2022 21:31
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Just get negative energy aligned plants, stupid. Drop by Gorshek the Defiler's flower shop for some simple suggestions.
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Mar 28, 2022 23:18
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Yeah that looks pretty dope
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Mar 29, 2022 02:55
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I think I've caught the smell of a stinky skeleton mage itt! True liches don't die, you skeletailure, that's the whole point!
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Apr 8, 2022 03:52
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You can't use the p-word anymore. We may be undead but we're not unkind 
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Apr 8, 2022 04:15
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That's the problem, you're trying to "raise" your apprentice instead of simply corrupting a good, or at worst, neutral, magic user into your service once someone else done all the coddling. The only raising you oughta be doing is that of undead.
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Apr 8, 2022 04:33
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Just transmute skeletons into gold and you don't have to rent them out!
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Apr 8, 2022 20:19
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My wizard, leaving cursed items around is half of what being capital D Dark is all about! Nothing puts a smile on my face like meddling adventurers making off with a sack of cursed gold and trying to cover costs of renting out an inn! Get this, they hand a coin to the innkeeper and then his flesh falls off, everyone's freaking out, and then his skeleton tries to take everyone's face off! Perfect Crystal Ball moment.
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Apr 8, 2022 23:26
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 20:31 |
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Spice things up a little by blessing one person in the community whilst cursing others. This will definitely keep any attention from you
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May 21, 2022 12:25
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