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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Proud to be the first to post pizzaria bate papo



(my posting station)


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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993


some population 1k town in oklahoma. i don't know why it's so offputting

AARD VARKMAN fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Sep 15, 2020

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

oh come on, there's no way that's sold as a pizza is it? it's described as a salad with an edible plate right

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

It's truly a crime against pizza to have pepperonis like that and not have them be little grease bowls.

guess there just ain't enough grease in

uhh

cat meat?

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Mozi posted:

thinking of making some pizza, got all the ingredients - a slice of bread, some ketchup, and a piece of american cheese. bon appetit!

:stare: too spicy, me thinks.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

Shrimp, feta, pesto = an almost perfect pizza

just needs pineapple :dudsmile:

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
from a place in montana with a "SUPPORT POLICE" facebook banner i present to you the double crust pizza

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Big Beef City posted:

I'm less disturbed by what appears to be an absolutely normal pizza than I am that you're using a goddamn fork and knife to eat it with

Also I can't tell if that's couscous or jarred garlic. If it's couscous I don't see the point of putting so little on the pizza, and if it's jarred garlic then that's even worse than anything else in the image combined.

Beef why the gently caress would they put a little bowl of couscous out for the guests of pizza hut? Garlic is at least within the realm of possibility. Your brain works better than this.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
this might be delicious but i have no clue what is going on

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
beef I challenge u to find me one truly terrible pizza this thread can agree is bad

or else :twisted:

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Hey I got a good one.



:thunk:

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
this pizza place in canada has hundreds of photos on their Facebook, almost all of which are of chicken tenders and entrees until you get to the end

Where there are like a dozen pictures of pizzas and all of them are blurry



it's not a pizza but look at this, this sub is HAULING rear end

AARD VARKMAN fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Sep 24, 2020

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
?

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
!

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
this one is probably delicious but uhh

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Son of Rodney posted:

If that is sauce hollandaise this is legit the pizza I eat 90 percent of the time. Brócoli on pizza is good.

i have never seen a pizza with hollandaise in my life. is that common where you are?

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Peru getting in on this

first let me say this is a great advertising graphic job:




AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
all the same restaurant:







has to be a money laundering operation, surely

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

SniperWoreConverse posted:

Maybe they're just extremely high or drunk or both?

apparently they're actually scam artists, so these might be morally the worst pizza. this article is 10 years old and they're still doing this

https://boston.cbslocal.com/2010/11/17/i-team-boston-pizza-store-scam/

quote:

Our producer was told the pizza would cost $12.95 and that there would be a delivery charge. That amount would be determined by their computer and we were told we would be notified by the delivery person.

The driver showed up with a large number of items, including the pizza, mozzarella sticks, fries, salad, cheesecake and soda. When told that we hadn’t ordered anything but the pizza, the driver said the food was “left over from Halloween” and a “free promotion.”

At first the driver would not provide a receipt. He then gave the I-Team producer a blank receipt with no corporate identification. When pressed for an amount, the driver quickly wrote in $18.50.

Two days later, our credit card statement told a much different story. There were two charges from the Regal totally $81.90, exactly the same as Steve was charged.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Bold Robot posted:

This one I kind of gently caress with.

well i know a place where you can get one -400% off!

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
im having an argument with someone on whether the gray poo poo under the mushrooms is eggplant or meatball slices (only things on the menu it could be)



heres the only pic i can find of their meatball

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
the kind with the knobs on the front are for rich people. every apartment you will find in the us under $2k/month will have the backboard knob design.

Beef is right on this one it's absolutely by far the most common home range design here. I can literally only think of one home kitchen I've been in that had front knobs and I helped them move the god damned thing in to their place after they got it on scratch and dent

I assume this has to do with gas, which is literally not an option for the majority of people in the US. I have lived in 9 different houses/apartments since I left my parents' place and never had gas.

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
also lmao at "reaching over the hot food to turn the knob" I guess if you are 4'6" this might be an actual concern but I don't think it's something that has ever been an issue in human history

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
*boiling 4 huge pots of soup at once, can't reach knobs from the floor where I'm drunk*

this is despicable. these knobs need to be on the front

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

gary oldmans diary posted:

you should see youre just arguing against yourself once you take your argument to its natural conclusion of a ridiculous critique of the time-honored 4 burner standard

i dont see what the number of burners has to do with my very real concerns about cooking from the floor

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
the words "pizza business park" enthralled me while exploring brazil


at least the put a little crust dam between the halves on this one

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
really digging the lattice work here

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993


AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
what is the drinking age in brazil

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
the problem of loose corn has been solved, also check out this crust!



also I assume this person is holding the last will and testament that required them to order this pizza

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
trying to figure out where this ranks w/r/t other notable atrocities committed by south africa

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
seriously i don't get the "throw a token olive or two on" thing but it happens in Brazil and apparently in Madagascar (these are different restaurants)






AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
first, music to set the mood:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bypzKTTptqM

from the aptly titled Action Pizza of Damascus













I'd eat this one no question

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
I know it's for presentation but I feel like it'd be a much better eating experience with the pizza facing down. Two pizzas facing inwards even

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
oh yeah?? Check this poo poo out pal

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
from an address listed simply as "unknown road" in Damascus



dibs on the egg


???


I'm pretty sure the person taking this picture is pissing on/just pissed on this pizza

AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
This was all I could find in Moldova.



AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993

Son of Rodney posted:

I'm gonna be honest I would eat most pizzas in this thread, except for the obviously horribly made ones. Y'all need to open up your minds, maaan.

I would eat almost every one I've posted TBH, I just like seeing how far the definition of "pizza" can be stretched.

Plus this is just a great picture (Ukraine):



E: also, you can apparently go to any country on the planet and find:

A) a place named after a US city or state that has no connection with pizza at all (Ohio, Florida, Miami.. that's just in Damascus)
B) a place that uses individual whole olives as a garnish

AARD VARKMAN fucked around with this message at 17:53 on Sep 26, 2020

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AARD VARKMAN
May 17, 1993
Ukraine:



They ate this one in the dark to hide their shame from god.


Ukraine has something I haven't seen before: loads of professionally staged photographs across lots of restaurants.

Oh also bonus find:

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