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In short: if i fall asleep, i sleep great. But falling asleep is not something that happens easily to me unless it's well past midnight. I always fall asleep easily when it's 02.00 or 03.00 at night. Great! And i'll wake up well rested 9 hours later. But most jobs don't let someone start at 11.00. So i have to force myself to wake up at 07.00. That of course makes me tired as hell the whole day. Despite that, i don't fall asleep earlier. I might fall asleep right before or after dinner, essentially ruining the little bit of free time i have during the day, but that will just make it harder to fall asleep later that evening. Melatonin helps somewhat, but it's not holy. It doesn't help with the feeling of being awake and energetic in the evening. In the end, when i still had a 9 to 5 job (now i work specifically afternoons) i resorted to drug use to make sure i would not go to bed at 23.00, then be awake until 02.00 or so. Because that would leave me with just 5 hours of sleep. Sometimes i would go to bed at 23.00 and fall asleep at 0.00, but i just couldn't count on it and 7 hours of sleep isn't enough to begin with, so i would do anything just to be sure it wouldn't get even less. By now i wanna punch people claiming 'you get used to it'. It does not. For half my life i've had to get up early, and i've essentially never felt rested a single day that i had to wake up before 09.00 did i ever feel rested. Right now i have a part time job starting in the afternoon so everything is fine, but this won't make a living sadly. So sooner or later i gotta find help. Probably will try that once i actually have a new job.
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Dec 13, 2020 20:57
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 20:51 |
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