|
beep-beep car is go posted:Hi! I'm looking for crits on my short (only 3800 words!) that was popular on /r/HFY and Tumblr. It sounds pretty good, just a grammar thing or two, like 'their' at the bottom of the 2nd page. Since it's a spaceship, maybe sex up the 'engine overhaul' and 'voltmeter' since it sounds like you're working on truck. Like, I dunno, 'change the quantum filters on the antimatter boosters' with her '4D scanner', or something more science spacey. Some of the dialogue could be better here and there, give the captain a bit more character or w/e, I'm no expert on this, but keep doing your thing.
|
#
¿
Jul 15, 2023 02:51
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 14, 2024 00:58 |
|