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Mycroft Holmes posted:I'm writing kind of a silly fan-fiction and I'd like some feedback on my work. Others have been saying it's too rushed and I don't understand that criticism. Funny that after a bit of lurking here that this is the first thing I take a look at. I love the premise and the multiple scenes that help capture the scale of what's suddenly happening, my two cents. It's most likely just me, but I am a sucker for details when it comes to fights, my only advice is just build them up. quote:“Affix bayonets!” Called the Colonel, who drew his sword and revolver. Affixing their bayonets, the soldiers then, as if on the parade ground, formed a square. What happened to the square formation? What caused it to not last long? Of course you can leave it to the reader to imagine, but throw in your tidbit of the massive demons smashing through its ranks. A sentence or two of some good, gory detail here could add some of of your fun in the fight scene. - Looking back on my own little fan fiction, I didn't realize that I had it expanded to 17k words. I had it thrown up on AO3 and apparently scored some 'kudos' for what that's worth, but it's very niche and I don't think it's quick to catch onto unless you've played any of the Valkyria Chronicles games. This sort of came about after me playing both VC 3 and 4 and looking up some of the others. I tend to excessively daydream about the games since I thoroughly enjoyed them and and I guess the following came to exist on .doc with my own characters being injected into that world. https://archiveofourown.org/works/29092365/chapters/71414334 The doc is a little disjointed, so I threw in the AO3 link that has the story set in there. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CuCFRCARApDkxQe4RAvNFMVp9fgt_NsQUrrxHtG5W20/edit?usp=sharing CabooseRvB fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Aug 17, 2022 |
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Aug 17, 2022 02:30
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| # ¿ May 13, 2024 22:18 |
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